At Least You're Not Aquaman
by mybrainproblems
Summary: Eren Jaeger is a college student studying marine biology and working in the stickleback lab at his university while he dreams of exploring the deepest parts of the ocean. He's just a normal happy-go-lucky twenty-one year old. The only problem is that his sister is a superhero and he's every supervillain's favorite target. (hella slow build LevixEren)
1. 1: Sticklebacks and Aquaman

**I've been posting this on AO3 but I've decided to mirror it and post here as well.  
>Warning: Gratuitous Use of the Word Fuck<strong>

**Other things: This is a hella slow build. There is character death much later in the story. Don't panic on me, Levi and Eren are 100% going to live.**

**Rating will be left at T for now but it will be M eventually.**

**.**

**If you don't know what a stickleback is, be very happy. I wasn't a bio major but a bunch of my friends were and occasionally I'd help them out with their lab hours if they were running late.**

**Sticklebacks are boring as all get out.**

**.**

Eren was finally done with his rounds in the lab feeding the sticklebacks and jotting down all of the metrics and observation data. It had taken him longer than usual after he had knocked over the food that he had been pipetting into the tanks and had been forced to search though one of the neighboring labs to find more. It was almost dark out at this point and he felt bad cutting into his sister's night job since she always insisted on walking (well, flying) him home.

Mikasa didn't work any ordinary night job though. She worked as a superhero under the alias of Red Scarf. Since they weren't related by blood there was almost no chance that he would ever get super powers. When they were younger he had been jealous of her super strength and ability to fly. Her powers may not have manifested until she hit puberty, but she'd already been his protector even before then. Now though, he wasn't jealous so much as annoyed.

Eren's annoyance stemmed from the fact that his sister's occupation meant that he was kidnapped and targeted on a regular basis. He was his sister's weak spot and she would ditch a robbery if she thought that Eren had so much as stubbed his toe. It was a joke that he liked to tell but there _was_ the one time when he had gotten into a fight with three guys on the way back from work a few years ago. The police hadn't been happy that she had left them to deal with the jewel thieves while she played hero for her idiot brother.

He was sick of it.

Being the "idiot" brother who couldn't stay out of trouble.

When he was younger he'd been a bit of a suicidal bastard; running into fights to defend people regardless of how much bigger or stronger than him their attackers were. He had mellowed out a lot (staring at fish all day will do that to you) but now he had to deal with being the target of almost every villain in Trost.

He was sick of that too.

But right now, he just wanted to get home. He had already told Mikasa that he would be late after the mishap with the spilled food earlier and she had told him to text her when he was done so that she could fly him home.

He took out his phone to text her and immediately dropped it into the stickleback tank right next to him. Sticking his hand into the tank to retrieve his phone he wondered if he could get superpowers from the genetically modified fish that he worked with on a daily basis. _I'd probably just end up with powers like Aquaman. That would be humiliating. I think I'd rather just stay normal._

Staring at his phone he tried to think of what to do. He couldn't text his sister now. The school had taken the pay phones out of the lab building's lobby years ago and he had left his laptop at home, leaving him with no way to get in touch with his sister. _I guess I'm taking the bus home._

Eren sifted through his pockets and then his backpack.

He was fifty cents short for the bus fare.

_Scratch that. I guess I'm walking home._


	2. 2: The New Titans on the Block

Eren knew walking home wasn't the brightest idea. The number of times he had been kidnapped since his sister went superhero full-time was ridiculous, but not a single person had so much as looked at him oddly in three weeks.

_Mikasa beat those guys down pretty badly last time. I bet all of the supervillains are done with me. They probably don't want to end up like what's-his-face._

If there was one thing that Eren loved to do, it was tempt fate.

Eren was walking around the back of the biology building when he heard something move by the dumpster. He tensed up and squinted at the shadows and started to pull a stun gun out of his pocket. It wasn't as effective as his sister, but if it was just a few thugs from the Stationary Guard then he could handle himself... probably. He saw something moving in the shadows and cautiously started to move closer. It wasn't a particularly large shadow and he held out hope that it wasn't even a person. _Please let it be a stupid raccoon or something. I just hope it's not Rat again. That guy sucks._

He was startled and jumped back when a cat ran out from behind the dumpster, yowling and hissing. Clutching his heart as the cat ran off around the corner he felt himself shaking but couldn't help but laugh after he had started breathing again. His laugh was loud enough that didn't hear the steps behind him.

"What's so funny, Eren?"

He just loved to tempt fate.

Eren didn't even bother to look behind him before he started to run. From the shadow that he had seen looming behind him whoever it was had at least a foot taller than him and he did not want to stick around and attempt to fight them. He rounded the corner of the building hoping to see someone, anyone; but now that the sun had set the area around the academic building side of campus was completely deserted. His heart slammed against his rib cage as he continued to run and it felt like his throat and lungs were being ripped apart.

The pounding rhythm behind him increased to include yet another person. Someone who was larger. Someone who was faster. Someone who was closing in on him as he tried to sprint along the path in front of the building.

Somehow (and he really wasn't sure how) he managed to dodge the punch that was thrown at him from the side by his newest attacker and continue to sprint past some landscape shrubs leading to the entrance of the building.

_If I can just get inside... That's all I need to do. Get in the building and make sure the door is closed behind me. You need an ID to get in. I'll be safe there. I can figure out a way to get in touch with Mikasa. I'm going to be okay. I'm going to be okay. I'm going to be –_

A foot slammed into his shin and he went sprawling out on the ground. Another foot was planted on his back and his arms were pulled behind him and he felt the tug of a zip tie as it was pulled tight.

_Dammit. Not again._

"Let him go."

_Oh thank the sweet baby Jesus, Mikasa is here._

"Well then, look who it is. We expected you to be here already. Made our jobs a lot easier."

"Eren, you didn't call me like you were supposed to." He could hear the accusation in her voice. _I don't care, Mikasa. Just get me out of here and we can go home and you can rake me over the coals and tell me how irresponsible I was. Please ditch the traditional witty hero-villain banter and get me out of here._

"Eren, I think you've hurt your sister's feelings." _And that's another thing. Why doesn't Mikasa have a secret identity? The police and normal people don't know who the hell she is but every villain knows who she is and every single fucking villain knows exactly who I am._

"You have my attention. Let him go and we'll settle this between ourselves. I bet that I can take the both of you no problem. Whoever the hell you are."

"We don't care. We're a part of the Titans and you're going to be hearing a hell of a lot more from us soon." _Shit. Fuck. That was a third person. She's behind Mikasa and Mikasa didn't notice her._

He heard a sharp twang ring out before Mikasa fell to the ground, completely motionless. He had no way of knowing whether she was unconscious or dead. _She's not dead. She can't be dead. She's the only family I have left. Please._

Eren felt a cloth being pressed hard against his face before he blacked out.


	3. 3: Bird Shit and Too-Wide Smiles

_I'm so warm and sleepy, I don't want to wake up. Fucking hell though, our neighbors need to stop leaving their television on so loud at night. Please shut up shut up shut up I had an awful night because -_

Eren came to full consciousness immediately. He had been captured (again) and Mikasa was... Mikasa was...

_No, she's completely okay. It's Mikasa, there's no way that she isn't okay._

_She's completely fine._

_She has to be._

He fought back the tears pricking at his eyes and focused on his surroundings. He was laying sideways on a couch, tossed there like a rag doll with his arms zip-tied behind his back. It was almost completely dark and he twisted around, turning his head to look over towards the only light source in the room. There were three people talking to one another but he couldn't make out the words that well. Something about orders... titans... _Fuck, I can't hear a thing._

"It looks like dear little Eren's awake."

_Seriously? Why does every single fucking supervillain and crime syndicate know my fucking name and who I fucking am? I am so done with this bullshit. I just want to hang out with my friends, finish college and explore the deep ocean with Armin. Is that really so much to ask for?_

"What the fuck do you want?" _Okay maybe that wasn't the best way to start off..._

Three faces _–no, those are masks –_ turned towards him. The faces were terrifying renditions of what looked like human faces, but the proportions and features were all wrong. Nothing was incredibly out of place but one of them had a too-wide toothy grin while another had eyes that were too large for its face. The final one had a misshapen nose that looked more like a tumor. He knew that they weren't their actual faces, but they were well-fitted to their wearers faces and just real enough. They were strange and macabre masks emphasizing some singular facial feature to the point of horror.

Their hidden gazes lingered on him a moment and he could feel goosebumps raising on his skin. They turned back to one another and began talking to each other in whispers again.

Panic truly started to grip Eren now. They hadn't made any threats against him; no attempts to hurt him. They hadn't asked him a single question or taunted him in the slightest. Hadn't so much as mentioned Mikasa. He was just slumped over on a couch like so much dirty laundry being ignored. Eren turned his face away from the light and back into the couch. A foul smell assaulted his nose as it pressed into the material.

_Good. I'm lying on a couch covered in fucking bird shit._

Time passed as he lay there. Eren couldn't make out any words that his captors were saying and they didn't seem to care much about him. He could feel the pressure building in his lower abdomen.

"Hey, um. Any of you? I have to take a piss. Can someone...?" He trailed off when none of the three turned around to face him. _Fan-fucking-tastic. When I get out of this I'm going to smell like bird shit and be soaked in my own urine... if I get out of here. No, don't think like that. _When_ I get out of here._

One of the figures turned and came closer and pulled him up roughly. They made no attempt to steady him as he stumbled and tried to find his footing. They stopped and shoved him ahead of them towards a narrow wooden door in the cracked walls and stepped in front of him to open it. It was a pitch black room with no windows and no light. Eren couldn't see a single thing on the other side of the doorway. _They're going to kill me. They're serial killers. They don't care about Mikasa being my sister oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck._

The person beside him flipped a light switch, illuminating a dirty toilet and sink. He received another shove to the back of his legs, propelling him into the small room.

"How am I supposed to...? My hands are tied."

The too-wide toothy grin stared back at him and he unsuccessfully tried to suppress a shudder at the grotesque mask. In the mirror he saw them take out a knife and a wave of horror passed over him before he realized that they were simply cutting the zip tie in order to free his hands. He knew that he should fight back, his hands were free after all. _Fuck it, I'll pee first and then maybe I'll get a chance…_

He barely had the opportunity to zip up his fly before his hands were snatched back behind him. He felt another zip tie pulled snugly around his wrists. _Gross, I didn't even get to wash my hands._ His captor practically dragged him back to the couch before pushing him back down on it again. They turned their back to him and returned to sit down with their comrades.

They were clearly waiting for someone and for the first time since he woke up he heard a full sentence being spoken.

"When's Ape supposed to get here? Smiles, you said he would be here around now."

One of the masked figures grunted. He wasn't sure which.

They were quiet again.

Everything was still.

And that was when all hell broke loose.


	4. 4: Restraint and Rescue

Eren was well-acquainted with kidnapping situations at this point. Under normal circumstances he would be kidnapped, his kidnappers would "lure" Mikasa to them, Mikasa would rain hellfire on the people who dared harm her brother, they would walk out together. Usually he wouldn't even have any injuries besides a few cuts and bruises, but there had been one time that he had a fractured arm. He would full admit that the fractured arm was partially his fault.

What had never happened before was him watching as his sister fell to the ground completely motionless and then spending hours on his side on a couch covered in bird shit alternating between worrying about his sister and worrying about whether or not he was going to make it out alive. He had held out hope that he would be rescued for the first hour but by hour three he had been forced to make peace with the fact that he couldn't ignore his bladder and help wasn't showing up any time soon. So when the doors were suddenly blasted off their hinges, leaving him covered in splintered wood and plaster, Eren wasn't entirely sure what to think.

As confused as Eren was, his captors were far worse off. One of them had been caught by one of the doors and was slumped against the far wall, their body laying at an angle that indicated that they probably weren't going to be getting up again. The other two were standing at the ready, waiting for whoever it was to walk through the doorway. When a few moments had passed and nobody had passed through the door yet the two remaining masked captors moved closer.

It was a mistake.

One of them was immediately caught by a blow to the neck and fell to the floor.

And that was when Eren looked up more and saw him standing in the doorway.

The Hawk. The somewhat mysterious fourth member of the elite superhero team, the Survey Corps. He worked almost exclusively at night. He was well-known for taking down entire teams of criminals single-handedly in spite of his lack of super strength. He was also Eren's superhero crush.

_I'm being saved by The Hawk. I have to play it cool and act natural. Why do I have to be covered in bird shit?_

Eren watched as the superhero stalked down the final person as they moved back towards the window and stumbled into the couch where Eren was laying. The Hawk didn't take his eyes off of his prey and was standing over him. Eren's captor was no more than a foot from him, cowering in front of the superhero in front of him as he drew out a knife. _Oh fuck he's going to -_

"Levi!"

The knife was sheathed and the figure cowering at the couch seemed to go even further into shock as another person came barreling in through the doorway. All that Eren could see in the dim lighting was that the other person was wearing...

_Goggles? What the fuck?_

And that's when it hit him.

Dr. Scientist was standing right in front of him.

He was in the same room as two out of the four members of the Survey Corps .

_They're here to save me. Holy crap why? Mikasa doesn't run with them at all. She doesn't like The Hawk and she thinks that Nose is creepy so why the hell are they here to save me?_

"Levi! This guy is dead. What the hell were you thinking?" Dr. Scientist sounded shocked as they stared at the body.

"It's not my fault that they were in the way when I kicked the door in."

"At least the other two are alive. You know Erwin isn't going to be happy about this, right?"

"Hanji, I'm not Batman. That "non-lethal" crap is complete bullshit and you know it. You can't guarantee shit."

"I know, but still. We're supposed to be the good guys!"

"If you want to feel like a good guy it looks like we've also rescued a kid." He motioned vaguely in Eren's direction. The kidnapper in front of the couch had either fainted or was trying to play dead.

"Hm. He doesn't look that little."

"Fine. We rescued a teenager. He looks like he's fifteen, that's still a kid."

"No, he looks more like he's seventeen. Mayyyybe eighteen."

"Still a kid."

"I'm not a kid, I'm twenty-one!"

They turned to look at him after his outburst and stared at him. The Hawk was staring at him with a look that was equal parts amusement and exasperation.

_That sure made me sound like an adult. Not only am I tied up and covered in bird shit I also just made myself sound like a child. And in front of The Hawk and Dr. Scientist of all people. Especially in front of him. Dammit, today is really not going my way._

"Okay, so what's a twenty-one year old doing tied up in an apartment with a bunch of criminals?" The Hawk was smirking at him now, his sarcasm palpable.

"I'm Mikasa... um... Red Scarf's brother. This happens... more than I'd like it to."

_Brilliant. As if this situation isn't humiliating enough. "Why yes, I'm a superhero's brother and in spite of being an adult I still regularly get kidnapped and my sister is forced to save my ass on at least a bi-weekly basis." Just let the couch swallow me or something._

"Oh! I've heard of you! You're Eren right?" Dr. Scientist was smiling at him now.

"Why does everyone know my fucking name..."

"Well you're such a cutie, I can see why you get kidnapped all the time. What's it like to have to deal with supervillains and criminals kidnapping you all the time? You should probably be tested for PTSD and I wonder what your cortisol levels are like and if all of this will have any long-term physiological effects on you... I would love to run some tests!" They were practically bouncing as they continued to ramble about elevated stress levels and the physical manifestations of psychological trauma.

"Hanji, I think you're scaring the brat more than these assholes did."

"If you untie me I'll consider it..." At this point in his life, Eren was used to bargaining with people over what happened to him.

"Oops! Sorry, I got carried away." They bent down to untie his wrists and helped him sit up.

"Thanks for showing up when you did, they were waiting for someone and I don't know what would have happened to me. Is Mikasa – Red Scarf okay then?"

"Why wouldn't she be okay?" The two of them were looking at him like he had grown a second head.

"So you weren't here to save me?" He felt cold now. _If Mikasa didn't ask them to come here for me then..._

"Brat, we're here on intel that street-level members of the Titans were going to be here meeting with one of the senior people in the organization. Why would we show up just to rescue you? You're really not all that important in the grand scheme of things."

"Levi, be nice!"

"Oi, shut it goggles. You know what I mean."

_Does he have to be such a jerk? He's a superhero, he's supposed to care about rescuing people and the greater good. Superheroes are all nice guys who want to save people, not jerks who tell you that you're worthless. What the fuck? He works with Commander Handsome, how is he this much of an asshole? So much for meeting your heroes. He's still hot though..._

"So you don't know if my sister's okay? She got knocked down by these guys before they took me. I don't know if she's... she wasn't moving when I last saw her before they drugged me."

Dr. Scientist made some nonverbal sympathetic noises at the back of their throat.

"It's okay. I'm sure she's fine. We'll find your phone around here and you can call her."

"My phone is kind of dead..." The Hawk was staring at him now with an incredulous look on his face.

"You can borrow my phone to try and get in touch with her. By the way, I'm Hanji and this asshole over here is Levi."

"We have secret identities for a reason, goggles."

"He's Red Scarf's brother and we know who he is. It's only fair." Levi walked away grumbling about shitty goggles and incompetent partners.

"I'd disinfect your phone after. He smells like he's covered in shit."

_What the fuck?_

"Thanks, Hanji." He didn't bother calling Mikasa's phone; she might not be able to answer it even if she was okay. He went straight for the one person who would know what was going on no matter what had happened.

"Armin! Is Mikasa at home? Is she okay?"


	5. 5: An Ode Inspired

"Armin! Is Mikasa home? Is she okay?"

"Eren? Where are you!? We've been so worried. I was able to get in touch with Marco and he brought her back home and helped patch her up. She's a bit fuzzy, but she's going to be okay. I'm still not entirely sure what hit her, but I'll get on it as soon as I can. What about you? Did you escape from those titan guys?"

"Not exactly..."

"What does 'not exactly' mean?"

"I kinda accidentally got rescued by The Hawk and Dr. Scientist."

"YOU WHAT!?" Eren yanked the phone away from his face.

"Armin, tone down your emotions for just one moment, okay?"

"Okay, fine. What happened? Why did they show up?"

"They said that they had intel about this organization known as the Titans and that some of them were going to be meeting here and they found me instead..."

"This is the first time I've heard about any group known as the Titans."

"Sorry, I don't know anything else. You'll have to ask them or whatever. You said that Mikasa is okay though, yeah?"

"Yeah, she's going to be okay. Just get back here safely."

"Okay, I'll see you guys soon."

Eren hung up and walked over to where Hanji and Levi were trussing up the remaining two kidnappers. Levi appeared to be multitasking, talking on the phone at the same time. It sounded like whoever was on the other side of the conversation wasn't particularly happy.

"... it couldn't be helped, Mike. He was right behind the fucking door. I don't have x-ray vision. I'm not Peeping Tom so how the fuck was I supposed to know that he was there?"

_Mike...? I guess he's another member of the Corps? I wonder if it's Nose or Commander Handsome. Or maybe they aren't a member at all._

"Hanji, we're leaving the body here for clean-up and taking these two back to HQ for questioning."

"Okay, what about Eren?"

"What about him?"

"Do you think he needs a ride home?"

"How the hell should I know? It's not like we have much space in the car anyway."

"You know, I'm right here. You could ask me if I need a ride." _I have so had it with people talking about me like I'm not even here. I am so fucking done with this day._

Hanji and Levi turned around to look at him. They looked almost comical with Hanji supporting one of the masked people by slinging their arm over their shoulder as if they were a drunken friend and Levi with the other person tossed over his shoulder like they were a towel.

"Do you need a ride, brat?" Levi's tone implied that 'yes' was not the correct answer.

"Um. Well. I'm short on bus fare, but if either of you has fifty cents then no, I don't need a ride."

"Does it look like I keep loose change on me?"

"No. Not really. No." _Pretty sure I'd notice just looking at him. Damn does he look good in black spandex. Definitely doesn't leave much to the imagination. Fuck he has some killer legs... Eren tried to discreetly check out Levi's ass but was thwarted by the body slung over him._

"You shouldn't have to take the bus after being kidnapped. We'd be happy to give Eren a ride, wouldn't we Levi?"

"He's going to have to sit in the back with these assholes."

"No, he's pretty small. We can probably squish him up front with the two of us."

"He smells like shit, Hanji. No fucking way is he sitting up front with us."

"So we roll down the windows and he'll sit next to me and you can drive. Deal?"

Levi rolled his eyes and started walking out the door with Hanji behind him. Eren stood dumbstruck for a few minutes, watching them walk out before shaking himself out of composing an ode to spandex and following behind them.

He continued to compose his ode as he walked behind Levi, eyes glued to his ass.


	6. 6: Hey Babe, Looking for a Ride?

Hanji and Levi weren't underselling their vehicle when they referred to it as a car. It looked like a fairly normal Prius. Maybe a few modifications here and there but nothing that would indicate that it belonged to a group of elite crime-fighting superheroes. He knew that neither of them could fly, so with all the weird gadgets that Dr. Scientist created he would have thought that they would have something a bit more interesting than a modified Prius.

He had planned to help the two of them throw his kidnappers into the back seat (and hopefully get a kick or two in) but Levi shoved them in with enough force that he felt like adding in a kick of his own would be taking it too far. The crisp and dry weather meant that he was starting to air out a bit and was smelling a bit less like the couch he'd been laying on earlier. _Then again _Eren looked over at Levi and saw that he was scowling at him_ that might just be me._ "He stays as far away from me as possible."

"Levi, that's no way to treat a traumatized kidnapping victim."

"The kid said that he gets kidnapped on a regular basis, I think he can handle a little bit more 'trauma' on top of the literal shit we just pulled him out of."

"It's really okay. I think I smell pretty awful too. If there was a way to not smell like this right now I'd do it, trust me." Eren fidgeted with his hair and scratched his scalp as he spoke.

_He thinks I smell gross. I know I smell gross. He doesn't want me anywhere near him and that's totally okay I'll just have to make sure I smell extra nice the next time we see each other. If we see each other again..._

"Do you have lice as well? Stop scratching your head, kid."

Eren was could feel his entire body heating up from embarrassment as he tried to maneuver into the car beside Hanji. There wasn't a lot of space in the front of the car since the center console had a bit more going on that the standard Prius. It definitely wasn't going to be a comfortable fit in the passenger seat of the car with both him and Hanji.

_With me and Levi it would probably be just fine since we're both smaller than Hanji and I really wouldn't mind cuddling up with him if I had to. Because there isn't a lot of space. Yeah. Nothing to do with the fact that I think he's a hot piece of ass and I'd let him pound me into next week if he even hinted at it . Nope. Nothing to do with that. Just thinking about how we could best fit in the car. That's all._

"Eren, you can sit on my lap. I think we'll all fit that way." Hanji was patting their lap and grinning at him. He stared back at them incredulously.

"Are you serious? You're going to have to lop off my head for me to fit."

"Get in, kid. We need to get these guys back to HQ for questioning after we drop you off. We don't have all fucking night so get in the car."

Eren went to sit on Hanji's lap. He ended up having to double over so that his upper body fit in the car. His head was cramped up into the middle of the front seat area and his overall posture was that of a hunchback. This is going to be one of the most uncomfortable car ridesever.

"So Eren, where do you live?" Hanji's voice was somewhat muffled behind him.

"I'm over on the West Side."

"You've got to be fucking shitting me kid. Jesus fucking Christ. Hanji, we have fifty cents somewhere in this fucking car, don't we?"

Even Hanji had groaned heavily when he told them where he lived.

"Um. Where are we?"

"The fucking warehouse district."

"Shit. I can call a cab it's totally okay. I don't want to make you guys go too far out of your way though I don't really know where you're HQ is, so yeah..."

"Even with the modifications I made to the car it's still going to take us at least thirty minutes to get you home and this isn't the most comfortable position for me to be in. No offense, but having my face shoved into your shoulder isn't the greatest. We'll definitely wait with you until the cab comes though. I'm really sorry, Eren."

"It's really okay, Hanji. If I can just borrow your phone..."

"No, we'll drive you kid. You'd probably get kidnapped on the way home anyway seeing as how your life seems to go."

"Levi?"

"Seriously!? Thank you so much!"

_He offered to give me a ride even though it's out of their way and uncomfortable. Holy shit maybe he likes me. No, Eren stop that. He just feels bad because you've had a crappy day and you're Red Scarf's brother. But he also seems like he wouldn't do anything that he doesn't want to. Even Hanji seems shocked that he's actually offering a ride with them after I said I was okay with getting a cab._

The quiet motor came to life and they drove off after Eren gave them his exact address. As they started driving Eren realized that the most comfortable way to hold his head was to just let it hang forward loosely rather than trying to angle it awkwardly to the side.

From his vantage point he had a decent view of Levi's crotch.

Eren started to reconsider whether or not he actually wanted Levi to pound him into next week.

.

**Okay so I drive a 1998 Jetta that has done a round-trip coast-to-coast of the United States and stalls out if it rains too hard. The first time I got into a Prius I was like THIS IS A FUCKING ROCKETSHIP FROM THE FUTURE.**

**And that's how we ended up with the Survey Corp's car.**


	7. 7: Rule Number One

**This is the chapter containing the obligatory "not bad" from Levi.**

**.**

"So are you taking Main or Sixth over to Washington?"

"Main is shorter." Levi's voice was terse.

"Yeah, but if you take Sixth then we can drop these two off at HQ before we bring Eren home. It's only a few blocks detour. We can call Mike and let him know we're bringing in some trash and we can just do a rolling drop-off. Eren can hop to the backseat and that's twenty minutes less of my face being shoved into a smelly shoulder."

"You want to bring some random kid to HQ? Erwin is going to lose his shit, Hanji."

"It's not like he's coming inside. Erwin doesn't have to know."

"He's still going to know where it is though."

_Great, even more of them talking about me like I'm not here. I don't even care where their HQ is. I just want to get home so that I can shower, whack off to Levi in spandex and pass out._

"Eren won't tell anyone where we work out of, will you Eren?"

"What, huh? Yeah, no! Totally not going to tell anyone. I'm barely awake right now I won't remember a damn thing."

"See, Levi? He's not going to say a word. He wouldn't rat out his big hero."

"What the fuck? I never said – no, don't take it like that... I'm not. It's just that..." Eren was glad that his rather violent blush was covered by the fact that he was doubled over and his face was obscured.

Hanji started cracking up, their chest heaving from the violence of their laughter. Their face slammed into Eren's shoulder repeatedly as they continued to convulse from their laughter.

"The look on your face when you first saw Levi, no way was that not hero worship."_ No that was actually a weird combination of shock and lust, but I guess I'll take your interpretation. _"And then when you saw me and you looked so excited! You're a Survey Corps fanboy, aren't you?"

"I'm not! It's just that my sister is a superhero and I've met a lot of the other guys in the area, but I've never met you so uh I guess I was just... surprised? Like, there's my sister but I'm also friends with The Hunter and Historia and Savage Dancer and just yeah..."

"Hanji, leave the kid alone. I'm going to call Mike and let him know we're dropping off some trash."

It didn't take long for them to get to the Survey Corps HQ. He understood now why Levi had been so pissed about driving him home; their headquarters were only ten minutes from the warehouse district, but they were still twenty to thirty minutes from his apartment. _Oh wow, making this trip is a huge pain for them._ He stood next to the car while Hanji and Levi dragged the (still unconscious) bodies into the building that he assumed was their headquarters. He saw the shadow of a third person who he assumed was "Mike" holding an alley door open for them. He continued to stand awkwardly by the car as Hanji and Levi moved the bodies inside as he tried to decide if he should sit back in the car or stay where he was.

_It would be a lot more comfortable to stay in the car since it is kind of chilly out, but I'm still covered in bird shit and I know that Levi is going to get upset if I sit down in the car and get shit all over the seat while I wait for them and he would be so pissed if I got anything on the seats I just know it and I really want him to like me. But it's getting really fucking cold out here._

"Eren! Come inside with us for a moment." Hanji had come back out into the alley and was waving their arm vigorously trying to get his attention. He followed them into through the door that they were holding open. There wasn't much light inside and all he could really tell was that the walls were made of brick as he walked down a flight of stairs into what he assumed was the basement of the building. Hanji was standing behind him and when he got to the bottom they grabbed his shoulders and made him do a quick ninety degree turn to the left and pushed him through a door.

The room on the other side was much brighter than the stairs and looked some sort of a combination living room / kitchen. Another door a few feet ahead of him was closed and he could hear a shower running behind it. Continuing to guide him by his shoulders, Hanji steered him into the room and forced him to do an abrupt about face to face them.

"So Eren. You're going to take a shower before you leave. Levi is in there right now but," _Did she really have to say that?_ "When he gets out you can hop in quickly." Hanji yawned widely and stretched "I'll find some spare clothing of mine that you can borrow since you're closer to my size than you are to Levi's and we can tie these clothes up in a plastic bag and you can wash them when you get home. Does that sound okay? You have to promise me that you'll return the clothes though."

"Sure, that's fine with me. I thought that I'm not supposed to be here though?"

"Levi was complaining about how filthy you are and since he's going to be driving you the rest of the way," _wait, what?_ "you should take a shower first or you're going to have to deal with Captain Clean being pissy at you for the rest of the drive."

A voice called out loudly from behind Hanji, "You know the only reason that she's lending you clothes is so that you have to return them, right brat? It's an excuse for her to experiment on you. Knock it off shitty goggles, the kid's had a rough enough day as is."

_Levi is standing right there. Right behind Hanji. He's only wearing a towel. His hair is wet. Oh fuck, he doesn't have his mask on. Oh shit oh shit. I'm not supposed to see him without his mask. Superhero etiquette rule number one: thou shalt not look upon the unmasked face of another unless you are given explicit permission. I bet he has gorgeous eyes. No, I shouldn't look... but fuck if I know the next chance I'll get to see him and especially not like this._

As much as Eren wanted to look up and check out his superhero crush's face (and half-naked body), the fact that he had grown up with his sister had drilled in that number one rule of masked crime-fighting: you never look at someone's face if they're unmasked unless they have given you permission to do so. Usually that meant that you were either related to said superhero or were in a very intimate relationship with said superhero. _Rescuing a random college student, taking him back to your headquarters and accidentally walking out of the shower without a mask doesn't count as being given permission. Not by a long shot. Fuck, don't look, don't look, don't look._

Hanji pressed a pile of clothes into his hands as he kept his eyes glued to the floor and shuffled towards the shower trying not to bump into anything. He heard Hanji voice some sort of confusion from behind him as he nearly walked into a table that he hadn't seen while looking down, but he ignored it. It was a bit embarrassing, but he refused to violate the first rule, especially not now. His embarrassment evaporated when he passed by Levi, giving him as much space as he possibly could and heard him address him quietly.

"You know the rules, brat. Not bad."


	8. 8: Clean Body, Dirty Mind

Eren knew that Levi's "not bad" was probably the closest he was going to get to a compliment, which was totally fine by him. Those two words carried a bit more weight than any "wow this is the greatest thing in the world" that he might get from even Armin or Mikasa. This felt truly earned. The person who had said it was clearly not in the habit of complimenting people (or being nice in general) thus making this a Big Deal. He felt a bit lightheaded as he continued to shuffle along into the bathroom to take his shower.

He was also pretty sure that he was lightheaded because all of his blood had gone straight to his dick with two words.

Undressed and under the hot spray of the shower, Eren began to scrub himself vigorously to eradicate all traces of bird shit from his body. Most of it had gotten on his clothes but there was also some on his stomach from where his shirt had ridden up at one point (gross) and in his hair (double gross). The violence of his scrubbing had two purposes: "get the bird shit the fuck off of me" and "calm my raging boner." Unfortunately, his dick had other ideas and his mind kept supplying him with images of Levi in all of his lithe, spandex-covered glory and what his body might look like underneath that now that he had gotten a much closer look at the man's body.

_Shit. Fuck. This is fucking embarrassing, it's like I'm twelve all over again. Just go the fuck away and I'll deal with you when I get home. I am in the headquarters of the Survey Corps there is no way that I am jerking off in their shower after they rescued me and offered to give me a shower and a ride home. No way in hell am I doing this._

His hand, however, seemed to have other ideas and was already lightly stroking the inside of his thighs as he struggled with his indecision.

_I'm going to be pitching a tent from now until I get back home. I might as well deal with it here. The car ride home doesn't need to be anymore awkward than it's already going to be. The last thing that I need is to be in a car with Levi while trying to hide a massive hard-on._

Decision made, Eren braced himself against the shower wall on his left forearm and let his right hand do what it did best.

Hanji had fallen asleep on the couch while he was in the shower. Given that the couch was completely occupied, Levi was sitting on top of the table sipping at a cup of coffee, grimacing and glaring at it as though it had insulted him personally.

"Um. Hi? I'm ready to go?"

Levi looked up from his coffee and glared at him. "Okay brat, let's get you home."

"Is Hanji coming with us?"

"Hanji sleeps like the dead. Just you and me kid." _Oh fuck._

"Good yeah. Awesome! I mean like, I can't wait to get home and sleep." Eren trailed off laughing nervously. _Idiot, what the hell are you doing? Just stay calm. It's not like you just came harder than you have in months in the guy's shower while fantasizing about him fucking you against the wall in that same shower._

Now Levi was staring at him like there were lobsters crawling out of his ears.

"I'm just really tired. That was the worst kidnapping I've had to deal with in a while."

Levi grunted and motioned for Eren to follow him up the stairs to the car.

After they had buckled themselves in Levi started up the car and drove out onto the dark street setting off in the direction of Eren's apartment. The car was dead silent. Levi's face was an inscrutable mask and Eren could only hope that his face didn't betray the whirlwind of thoughts going through his head right now.

_Holy fuck I'm getting a ride with The Hawk Levi._

_I hope Mikasa is okay._

_He's really hot._

_I wonder what the Titans did to Mikasa to hurt her like that._

_I can't believe I jerked off to him in the shower._

_Tonight was fucking terrifying._

_Levi is really strong and super hot._

_Hanji should have let him kill the other bastard._

_Those fuckers hurt Mikasa and scared Armin and me._

_I want to fucking kill them for that._

_How can I get Levi's number?_

**.**

**There is smut for this but FFN sucks and I can't post it here. It's over on AO3 if you want to read it there. It's 100% plot ****_irrelevant_****.**

**AO3 Link can be found in chapter one of The ALYNA Asides: fanfiction dot net /s/10713081/1/The-ALYNA-Asides**


	9. 9: Mortification and Injuries

Neither of them spoke for the entire twenty-five minute drive. Levi was staring straight ahead at the road and Eren looked at his lap and tried to hide the fact that he kept turning slightly to check out the other man.

_I can't decide if jerking off to a fantasy about him in the shower made this car ride better or worse. Like, yeah I'm not spending the whole damn ride trying to cover up a hard on, but I also can't stop thinking about the fact that I just jerked off to us having shower sex. Fuck everything._

They were still silent as they pulled up to Eren's apartment building. The silence stretched on uncomfortably as Eren sat with his hand on the door.

"So um. Thanks for the ride. It was really nice of you. Also the saving me from kidnappers thing even though you didn't mean to. But I'm really grateful for it so yeah..." _Shut the fuck up, Eren. Stop rambling._

"I'm a superhero, right? It's in the job description." Levi's voice was apathetic and Eren frowned a little at his tone.

"Right. Yeah. Oh and I totally won't tell anyone where you guys are and thanks for letting me shower and just yeah... thanks?"

Levi was silent. Eren recognized this as Levi's way of telling him to get the hell out of the car and hurried to grab his dirty clothes and open the door as fast as possible. He nearly tripped over the curb getting out but caught himself just in time. _Graceful as always. At least I didn't fall flat on my face in front of him. He was halfway up the steps to the front door when Levi rolled down the passenger side window and called after him._

"Oi, brat. The next time you jerk off in someone's shower you should at least have the fucking decency to disinfect the fucking thing. Damn hormonal brat." And with those parting words he drove off.

Eren stood rooted to the spot, mortified.

He just remembered that one of The Hawk's powers was a keen sense of hearing.

Shaking slightly, Eren walked through the door to his apartment. The dim lights turned on as he started to close the door.

"Eren! You're back home! Are you okay?" Armin's disembodied voice echoed through the apartment.

"I'm fine Armin, I took a shower" _and it was one hell of a shower_ "at their headquarters since I got covered in bird crap while I was being held hostage."

"They let you intotheir headquarters? That's a pretty big deal Eren."

"Yeah um, Dr. Scientist insisted since Le – I mean The Hawk was giving me a ride back. Is Mikasa alright?"

"She's going to be fine. She really needs to take a break for at least two weeks. I still don't know what they used to do it, but they delivered a blow to the nape of her neck. Any more force and she might have ended up with a broken – or at least fractured – neck. She's sleeping right now but I can display her injuries for you."

Eren walked over to the couch and picked up a tablet from the coffee table, touching the screen to turn it on. Armin's face appeared on the screen and they continued to talk. Another window popped up beside Armin's face with an image of a basic female body shape. Areas were highlighted to indicate where injuries were and what they were. The nape of her neck was highlighted in red, the right side of her head and her right shoulder in orange to indicate bad bruising and cuts, and yellow on her right forearm and left hand to indicate minor scrapes and light bruising.

"That doesn't look very good, Armin."

"By some miracle she doesn't have a concussion and she won't have any lasting damage to her neck. Honestly, that's incredibly good news. Her neck will need to be in a brace for at least a week though. You need to make sure that she doesn't do anything too strenuous. I would but... not being able to physically stop her makes it somewhat problematic."

"I know, Armin."

"You should get some sleep. Your posture indicates that you need to complete a few REM cycles."

"Alright, alright. I'm going to bed. Oh, before I forget! Hanji and Levi seemed to already know who or what the Titans are. You might want to reach out to them."

"Eren, I highly doubt that they would take kindly to someone else's AI trying to reach out to them. A group as well established as them is bound to be highly suspicious of anything remotely like me reaching out to them on an individual basis."

"Okay, well I have to return Hanji's clothes anyway. I'll try and head over after class tomorrow so I can do that and ask them if they're okay with sharing their intel with us."

"Hanji and Levi, huh?"

"Ugh. They kept referring to each other by their first names! And they didn't mind when I used their first names either." _Well, neither of them said that it_ wasn't_okay._ "I'll talk to Dr. Scientist tomorrow, okay?"

"Thank you, Eren. Sleep well."

"Good night, Armin."

Eren placed the tablet back onto the coffee table and stretched his arms up over his head, bowing his back to loosen up his muscles. Even after a hot shower (and an orgasm) his muscles were still tight from spending hours tied up and flopped on his side.

_I wish I had Hanji's number or some way of contacting them. They wanted me to return their clothes, but I'm not supposed to know where their headquarters are. Hopefully Erwin (whoever he is) doesn't get too upset if I just show up tomorrow._

As soon as Eren's head hit the pillow he fell fast asleep.

In spite of his day, he dreamed of nothing.

**.**

**So uh, here's what happened while Eren was in the shower except from Levi's POV: fanfiction dot net /s/10713081/2/The-ALYNA-Asides**


	10. 10: Breakfast

Eren woke up earlier than he expected given the night before. It was still morning – and not just technically morning; it was only just after nine. Somehow, in spite of everything, he had woken up feeling well-rested. He stretched out lazily on his bed and yawned. He only gave himself a few moments to continue to lay in bed since it sounded like he was awake before Mikasa and there was no way in hell he was going to let her make breakfast for herself (or do anything for herself, really). She needed to rest up and get better.

He sat up and ran his fingers through his hair before throwing a sweatshirt on over the clothes he'd borrowed from Hanji. He hadn't even bothered changing out of them since it was just a t-shirt and sweatpants.

Eren shuffled over to the door of his bedroom to head to the living room. From the corner of his eye he caught the newspaper clipping he had pinned above his desk – a story from the local newspaper about the Survey Corps with a decently-sized image of the four of them standing together. And that was when it really came rushing back.

_I totally got off in their shower thinking about Levi and Levi totally heard me. Fuck. He probably thinks I'm a total pervy weirdo fanboy. I mean, I kind of am I guess... but fuck if I would have done that if I remembered that he had crazy good hearing. How did I freaking forget that?_

Eren's head connected with his door making a dull thud noise.

He pushed it open and went to the kitchen to start making breakfast. Contrary to popular belief (or at least Horseface's belief), he was actually really good at cooking. Having spent so many years living with only Mikasa he had become very skilled at making relatively healthy meals on the fly and had become good at cooking in general. Opening up the fridge he scanned it for what they had; he really needed to go grocery shopping.

"The milk is expired, Eren." Armin's voice came out of the radio on the kitchen counter.

"It expired yesterday. It's still totally fine." Eren grabbed the tablet off of the coffee table in the living room again and propped it up on the counter as he started to pull out ingredients.

"Humans are incredibly susceptible to food-borne pathogens."

"Armin, it expired yes-ter-day. It smells totally okay and it's not lumpy at all. Jeez."

"Mikasa isn't in perfect health, Eren." Armin's avatar glared at him from the tablet screen. Eren still couldn't believe what a good job Marco had done in creating Armin. Not only was he an incredibly advanced AI with a highly realistic emotions cortex, the avatar was incredibly realistic as well. He'd have to thank Marco again the next time he saw him.

"Okay, okay. I'll thin out the eggs with water and put some more cheese in."

Eren set about making omelets; two huge handfuls of cheese in with the eggs along with chopped tomatoes, mushrooms and some slightly squishy bell peppers. He popped some bread into the toaster and began to brown some sausages in another pan. From his sister's room he could hear Armin telling her to wake up and eat some breakfast. He was bouncing back and forth trying to keep on top of everything so that the omelets and toast didn't burn and the sausages cooked evenly.

"Holy crap, Eren. This is amazing."

Mikasa was standing at the entrance to the kitchen. Her hair was a mess and she was wearing a neck brace. She also had gauze wrapped around her right forearm and another piece taped to her forehead. She limped slightly as she moved towards the kitchen table to sit down.

"Nope. Not allowed." Eren moved in front of her.

"What the fuck, Eren? Let me sit down."

"No, you're going to lay down on the couch and I'm going to bring breakfast to you there. You need to rest and you're going to be more comfortable there."

"You're getting back at me for all the times I babied you when you were sick or hurt, aren't you?"

"Clearly." Eren grinned back at her. "Five minutes to food. Sit your ass down and pick out something to watch."

Mikasa grumbled under her breath but went to the couch without any further argument. She lounged out across the whole couch and put her feet up, ensuring that Eren wouldn't be able to sit down with her. She turned the television on and started flipping through channels while Eren finished cooking and plated their food. He walked in and glared at Mikasa who was resolutely looking away from him and at an infomercial for an exercise machine that looked like a torture device.

"So do I get to sit down or what?"

"You're the one who said to get comfy."

"Mikasaaaaaaa. I made you breakfast. Unless you move your feet I will put it downstairs for the Robinsons' dogs."

"Alright, alright." Mikasa shifted into a sitting position so that she could eat the food on the coffee table.

"Do you want anything to drink? We're out of milk but I think there's some orange juice."

"Water's fine."

An hour later they were both sitting quietly watching television. Breakfast dishes had been dumped unceremoniously in the sink to be dealt with later. For now it was just the two of them curled up watching television together for the first time in a month.

Mikasa was the first to break the comfortable silence. Turning towards Eren she began to speak.

"About last night..."

"I'm fine."

"Eren, you could have been seriously hurt. Why didn't you call me?"

"I had my phone out and I was going to... and then I dropped it in one of the stickleback tanks." Mikasa was staring at him incredulously.

"You dropped your phone in a fish tank?"

"Yeah. It's not like we live that far away and nobody had so much as looked at me funny in weeks so I thought that it would be okay."

"Eren..."

"I'm just sick of having you fly me everywhere as soon as it gets a little dark out. I'm sick of being kidnapped and being a supervillain's pawn. I just wanted to fucking walk home and then those fuckers showed up."

Mikasa sighed heavily and looked back at the screen. Minutes passed by as they both stared ahead not really seeing what was on television.

"Stop worrying, you ended up worse off than I did. Armin told me that you took a bad hit to your neck… Are you feeling okay?"

"I suppose I feel as well as can be expected after nearly having my neck broken. Mainly I'm just pissed off that I'm not going to be able to do anything for a few weeks. Armin said I shouldn't leave the apartment unless absolutely necessary for the next week and after that I need to take it easy for a few more. It looks like I'm going to be on the sidelines for a month. No superhero-ing for me."

"I'm really sorry."

"It's not your fault. You didn't do this to me."

"I should have figured out another way to contact you."

"You didn't know anything was going to happen. You couldn't have." Mikasa smiled a little bit. "Unless you're a Titan, huh?"

"Haha. Yeah, that's me. I'm Mr. Titan and I'm here to break your neck and eat you." She rolled her eyes at him and tried to hide a smile. Eren paused for a moment and continued on in a more serious tone. "That reminds me, they're a big group, not just those three. At least that's what it sounded like according to Han – Dr. Scientist and The Hawk."

"Wait. What? When the hell did you run into them?"

"Last night, they're the ones who rescued me. Well, they didn't intend to. They were actually there because they had intel saying that whoever kidnapped me was going to meet with someone important in the organization. So Le – The Hawk showed up and took them down and then Dr. Scientist came in and they untied me and carted them off. They even gave me a ride home."

_I really need to clear up this names thing. It seems like it's okay for me to call them by their first names, but I'd never heard them before that so I doubt that Mikasa has either. I know that Mikasa is the exception and not the rule. Just because everyone in the superhero-supervillain world knows who she is doesn't mean that everyone else is the same. And there is no fucking way I'm mentioning the shower unless I have to._

"Armin told me that he'd heard from you and that you were okay a little after eleven and I know that I fell asleep at about a quarter to midnight and you still weren't home. What time did you get in?" Mikasa was narrowing her eyes at him and staring intently at his ears, just waiting for them to flush red.

"I think it was around twelve-thirty? Maybe closer to one?"

"What the hell? How could it possibly take you that long to get home? Did you end up out by the coast again?"

"No, it's just that I ended up getting bird shit all over me while I was being held hostage or whatever and they offered me a shower at their place since The Hawk didn't want me to be fucking gross when he drove me home."

"The Hawk drove you home."

"Yes. He did."

"You took a shower at the Survey Corps HQ?"

"Dr. Scientist insisted... though I think it was actually The Hawk..."

"They didn't do anything to you? No creepy experiments or anything?"

"Hand to god, Dr. Scientist didn't do anything other than offer me a shower and lend me the clothes I'm wearing right now. Armin would have picked up if there was anything weird with them so I'm pretty sure we're okay."

"So you spent time with the freak and the midget at their little team headquarters rather than coming home?"

"No, it's not like that." Eren started to flail his arms as he tried to explain what happened. "I was in the warehouse district and they weren't that far away but that's still a half hour from here and on top of the shower... well, it took a bit. It's not like I was out getting drinks with them or something. I'm pretty sure Levi wants me dead right now anyway."

"Levi?" _Oh fuck. I didn't mean to do that. I was doing so well with names before that. Fuck everything._

"I'm going to go wash the dishes."

"Eren."

"What? The dishes need to be washed."

"Who the hell is Levi?"

_Just drop it Mikasa. Jesusfuckingchrist, I think it's pretty obvious at this point and you should know why I'm not answering you._

"I shouldn't have said his name." He gave her a pointed look.

"So you're on a first name basis with The Hawk?"

"If my first name is 'brat' then yeah, I guess."

"He called you a brat?"

"Repeatedly. I guess I kinda deserved it at a few points, but I don't think he means anything by it. He's sort of an asshole anyway so I'm not really taking it seriously."

Miksasa was staring at him with her mouth slightly open.

"I also kinda need to return these clothes to Dr. Scientist and I'd really like to not run into this other guy they mentioned so I'd really like to go out soon and do that."

"You're going back to their headquarters?"

"Yeah, Armin also wanted me to ask for more information on the Titans. They definitely know more than we do."

"Fine. Take a shower and go. Pick up some milk on your way back. Get me some Cherry Garcia too while you're out."

"Will do!"

Eren walked towards the bathroom to take a shower so that he could head over and return the clothes to Hanji. He really hoped that whoever "Erwin" was, that he wasn't there.

Thinking about going back to their headquarters brought back memories from the previous night and stepping into the shower brought back even more. He was at half-mast almost immediately at the thought of seeing Levi in spandex again, but the memory of Levi's parting words to him killed any boner that he might have had.

He didn't want to run into "Erwin" but he really didn't want to run into Levi.


	11. 11: Have Some Vodka

Eren hopped on the bus heading east towards the warehouse district. He figured that he would walk from one of the stops along the line rather than trying to sync up a transfer with the line that ran closer to Survey Corps HQ. It was a gorgeous early fall day; sunny and cool with a gentle breeze, even in the city he could smell the fallen leaves and their subtle decay.

He inhaled the scent deeply as he walked along. He hadn't noticed the night before, but their headquarters was on a block where every store seemed to sell paper and custom stationary. He could hear machines thrumming and whirring loudly inside of the adjacent buildings even though the windows were all closed. Walking down the alley towards the door that he had gone through the night before he wondered if this was the best idea.

_Hanji said that I should return their clothes, but they never said how. I was hoping that maybe they left their number or email or something in the bag with my dirty clothes, but I guess not. I just really don't want to run into that "Erwin" guy they were talking about, it sounds like he wouldn't be happy if I showed up and I really don't want to get Hanji or Levi in trouble since they invited me in to take a shower. Oh god, what if I run into Levi? That was absolutely humiliating last night. How the fuck did I forget that he had super sensitive hearing? The Hawk is a fantastic hunter; super sensitive hearing, phenomenal eyesight, amazing reflexes, a gorgeous fit body..._

Eren found himself standing in front of the door in the alley that he had gone through the night before. There wasn't any indication that it lead anywhere interesting. No handle or knob, no name plate, no buzzer, no indication whatsoever that this door lead to the headquarters of one of the most elite superhero groups in their region. They may have based themselves in this city, but he would regularly see stories about them turning up in other places around the region, though it would usually just be one or two of them rather than all four.

He knew that he could continue standing there all day, but there was now way that he was going to chicken out right here on their doorstep.

_Fuck this bullshit. Hanji wanted their clothes back so here I am._

Eren knocked forcefully at the door.

He stood there for a few minutes awkwardly scuffing his shoes against the pavement. He decided to knock again just in case they hadn't heard, this time a bit louder.

A few seconds later he heard pounding from behind the door before it was flung open into his face.

"Eren! You're back here so soon!" Hanji had come bounding out from behind the door and they were smiling at him. Their face immediately fell into a comedic expression of shocked horror. "Oh no, it looks like I caught your face with the door. Come inside and we'll clean you up."

He trailed behind them as they pulled him along, a cut above his eyebrow was bleeding profusely and he tried to maintain his grip on the backpack that held Hanji's clothes. They lead him down the same stairs as last night and into the living room / kitchen area.

"I'm so sorry Eren. Here, let's put these things down and now you come with me to the bathroom and we'll patch you up." _Oh great, the bathroom. The bathroom where I jerked off to your crime-fighting partner. The partner who then told me that he knew that I jerked off to him. And now here I am, back in the same bathroom having someone patch up the fact that they just split my head open._

Hanji dabbed at the blood that was still oozing out of the wound and asked him to hold the cloth to the injury while they rummaged around under the sink looking for the first aid kit. When they couldn't find it there they asked Eren to stay where he was (sitting on the toilet) and that they were going to look for the kit in the hall closet. And please don't move.

The blood coming from above his eye didn't seem to be slowing down even after a few minutes and so he sat there waiting for Hanji to come back, hopefully with at least some band aids. The area seemed to be quiet and Eren leaned back against the tank of the toilet, relaxing his posture now that the pain in his head wasn't so sharp.

"So are you here to clean the shower, brat?" _Oh fuck no. Not now. Why now?_

Eren sat there staring at Levi like a deer in the headlights while frozen by his own mortification. His heart started slamming in his chest and it was all he could do to continue breathing and ignore the instinct to hide underneath something.

"Levi, it was only a few hairs. I don't think that's worth scaring the crap out of this little cutie."

"Hn."

"I know that you like to keep the shower clean, but really... I think you're getting a bit too worked up over a few hairs."

_He didn't tell Hanji. I mean, why would he tell Hanji? Then again, he doesn't have a reason not to either and they're clearly friends even if he's a jerk to them. Then again, it seems like he's a jerk to everyone. I guess it's pretty embarrassing for him to admit that he heard me even if I bet Hanji would absolutely love to hear about it for scientific purposes or whatever._

"I found the first aid kit so let's get a bandage on that and – "

"You're not going to disinfect it first?" Levi was looking at Hanji with disgust.

"Oh I'm sorry Captain Clean, are you worried that his eyebrow is going to fall off? I'm sure we could get a spare pair from Erwin if that happens."

"Hanji... that's gross. There should be some alcohol swabs in the kit, use them for fuck's sake."

They started going through the kit, pushing things around in the box. It looked like it had been kept in some semblance of order at some point but they had simply given up trying to keep it in order. It seemed to consist mostly of gauze and surgical tape right now though there were clearly a number of band aids thrown in as well.

"I think we're out."

"Stay there. Don't move. I'll be right back." Levi glared at the both of them and walked out of the room.

"Thanks for patching me up, I could have just left the clothes with you and gone home. It really isn't a big deal."

"I'm pretty sure your sister would have hunted me down if you went home looking like that." Hanji pulled his hand away from his eyebrow and gestured to the mirror. The cut on his eyebrow was not insignificant and the cloth he had been holding was covered in blood. He stared at the cloth for a moment before pressing it back on to the cut. "I clocked you real good there, didn't I?"

"I can't fucking believe you. Who the hell used up the bottle of alcohol that we had in the hall closet?"

"Oh... I think we used it up when Mike got that nasty gash from Dagger Jack."

"Hanji, that was over a month ago. Did you seriously not replace it?"

"I've been busy! And besides, we've had really good luck with injuries lately. Not so much as a scrape in almost three weeks."

"You've got to be shitting me. So basically it was going to take one of us getting injured to restock the rubbing alcohol."

"I guess?"

"Fucking hell, Hanji."

"Well Eren, it looks like Captain Clean has been defeated. So let's just put a band aid on it and you'll be right as rain."

"I never said that I didn't find _anything_ to use as a disinfectant." Levi held up a mostly empty bottle of cheap vodka.

"No way. You are not putting shitty booze on my face."

"So you'd rather get an infection?"

_Jesusfuck that glare is terrifying. I guess it doesn't really matter if it's cheap, shitty vodka if it's just going on a cut though. And I really don't want to make him any more pissed off than he already is._

"Okay fine. Douse me in your lighter fluid."

Eren pulled the cloth away from his face and Hanji soaked a corner of it in the vodka. Levi looked even more disgusted at the fact that Hanji was using the bloody rag to clean him up. Eren whimpered as the vodka hit the cut on his face and Hanji wiped off the blood around it.

"Hanji, what the fuck did you do to the kid? It looks like he needs stitches."

"Nah, he just needs a band aid."

"He needs at least two butterfly closures on that. Possibly three. Eren, please tell this idiot that you want them to take proper medical care of you."

Eren was staring at Levi in shock. _Does he actually give a shit about me? Or is he just being an ass to Hanji? No, I bet that he just doesn't want it to be messy, he seems to have a thing for things being clean and tidy. There's no way he's actually being nice after last night._

"You know how I am with stitches, Mike's always the one that handles them. I don't want to mangle Eren's cute face. It already looks like it's big enough that it might leave a scar."

"That would actually be pretty cool."

"You _want_ a scar on your face, brat?"

"No nonono, I'm just saying that I wouldn't mind. Though I almost never end up with scars. Mikasa is kinda jealous of it actually. I've only had one scar that stuck around for more than a year. I actually still have it. I got it when I was nine it's right –"

"I don't really care. Hanji, just put some butterfly closures on him and get him out of here." He turned around and walked out the door.

Hanji continued to dab at the cut and told Eren to press the cloth to his face again while they looked for the butterfly closures in the first aid kit. They pulled out three of them and held them up near his face to gauge whether or not he needed two or three of them.

"Pretty sure Levi was just trying to be an ass, the only way we could put three on you is if we shaved your eyebrow and I doubt you want us to do that."

"Yeah, I'd really like to not do that. Horseface wouldn't fucking shut up about it if I showed up in class short an eyebrow."

"Horseface? Is that another local superhero?"

"No, he's a guy I know..."

"Oi, goggles. Is the brat still here? Erwin just got back."


	12. 12: Commander Handsome

"Erwin is back?"

"Yeah, he just walked in upstairs. He's trying to talk to the trash we picked up last night. They're finally conscious enough to talk. I guess some people just can't handle their horse tranquilizers."

Levi was looking at his hand, fingers curled and inspecting his nails for potential grime. He kept any emotion off of his face, but he shot Hanji a look that Eren couldn't decipher. Whatever it was, it had Hanji furrowing their eyebrows and looking back at Eren.

"He's not going to be completely happy that we brought him here, is he?"

"Probably not." Levi shrugged, "then again, who knows with Erwin? The kid _is_ Red Scarf's brother and he clearly knows the rules."

"And he's so adorable, there's no way that Erwin would do or say anything mean to him."

"Hn. If you like fifteen year olds."

"I'm twenty-one! …and I'm not adorable."

"Now that was adorable." Hanji was grinning at him. "See, Levi? No way Erwin will be mad."

"You just want to experiment on him."

"Mayyyyyybeeeeee..."

"Freak." Levi turned on his heel and walked away silently. Eren couldn't tell if he had walked up the stairs or not.

"Well, we might as well just bring you upstairs now and introduce you to him rather than have him find you down here later. Does your head feel okay?"

"Yeah. I've had worse. Occupational hazard of being the perpetually kidnapped brother."

Eren hadn't realized that the majority of their headquarters was actually on the ground floor of the building. The area downstairs was apparently for immediately after they returned from their missions. Hanji explained that Levi had insisted that there be somewhere for them to wash and potentially grab something quick to eat in order to keep the rest of their space clean. They referred to it as "the quarantine zone" since Levi refused to let anybody go directly into the main part of the building without showering there first.

_So basically my crush is a total control freak with OCD who heard me jerk off in the shower. Great, you really know how to pick 'em, Jaeger. He's still hot though, so I guess there's that. I just wish his personality was just a little bit less... asshole-ish. I'd feel way better about still wanting to have him fuck me if he even attempted to be nice. Though I guess yelling at Hanji to properly deal with the cut could be considered 'nice'? It probably is for him..._

As they walked through a hallway at the top of the stairs that he hadn't noticed earlier, a large open area came into view. There was a workstation that took up the entire far left corner that looked like a small bomb had gone off, scattering papers and objects out into the rest of the room. Just looking at it, Eren could tell that it was where Hanji usually worked. Levi was currently standing next to two other men, both blond (though one had longer and messier hair) and talking about something. Again, Eren caught the word "titan" but very little else.

"Hello everybody!" Hanji's voice was loud and they smiled broadly as everyone turned around. Their enthusiasm was countered by Eren's increasing discomfort as he realized who one of the men was.

_Holy fuck. Commander Handsome._

"Erwin! I found a new subject for my research on the physiological responses related to extensive exposure to stressors related to superhero-supervillain dynamics." They continued to smile brightly even as the man (_I guess Erwin is Commander Handsome!?_) furrowed his brows as he stared back.

"Hanji..."

"I think this is going to be really useful. Or at least interesting. Very interesting."

"Hanji."

"He could really provide a breakthrough in a field that gets minimal attention due to its relatively small subject group."

"Hanji."

"He was there when we picked up those two so I can question them and look at it from both sides of the experience."

"You were there with the two members of Titan?" Erwin turned towards Eren, his gaze sharpened and he looked at him intently. "Do you remember anything that they said while you were with them?"

_Holy crap. Commander Handsome is talking to me. He's actually interested in what I have to say. I'm not really a fan of the Captain America type, but damn he is good looking. Shut up, Jaeger. Answer the damn question._

"Yeah, it was a little difficult to hear what they were saying. I really only caught a sentence or two. Honestly, they mostly ignored me."

"Hmm. Would you mind talking with me about it?"

"Um... yeah? Sure!" Eren felt the need to stand up a little straighter when he was talking with the other man. "Could I ask you some questions as well? We hadn't heard anything about them until just last night and they hurt my sister pretty badly. Armin was hoping that you could give us some information."

Four sets of eyes were on him and Eren felt like he was burning up from the gaze of one of them. Erwin was looking at him, evaluating his request against what they could possibly gain from what he had to say about his own interaction with Titan.

"His sister is Red Scarf, since the brat can't seem to be bothered to add that bit of information." Eren flushed a bright red at Levi's comment.

_Fuck, I should have mentioned that first._

"Doesn't Red Scarf patrol the West Side of the city?" Erwin was looking at Mike now, concern evident on his face.

"Mmph." Mike gave a curt nod.

"So they're expanding their operations north _and_ west."

Everyone remained silent. Eren didn't know anything about Titan but he could tell from the tone of Erwin's voice and the looks on their faces that this was in no way a good thing. Erwin looked lost in thought, staring down slightly and to his right.

"I believe that an exchange in information would be beneficial to all parties involved."


	13. 13: Fractured Smiles

"So they didn't say anything to you?"

"No, they pretty much just tied me up and dumped me on a couch covered in bird shit for three hours. Oh and I got shuffled into the bathroom at one point to take a piss."

"Aw, Levi he's one shit joke short of being your long-lost cousin."

"Shut it, goggles." Hanji laughed and went back to typing something on their laptop.

Erwin was sitting across a table from Eren with the corners of his mouth drawn down slightly. He had been hoping that Eren had more information than this.

"Did you overhear them saying anything?"

"No, they were pretty... wait, there was one thing a little before Levi showed up. They said that they were waiting for someone named Abe."

"Abe?" All four of them were suddenly looking at him intently. "Do you think that it might have been "Ape" that you heard them say?"

"I guess, yeah. They sound pretty close and I sort of thought they said "Ape" but that didn't make any sense. One of the people there was called "Smiles" though, I remember that pretty clearly."

"Neither of the two that we have in our custody are Smiles. She normally wears a mask with a fairly terrifying grin on it. Did you see her leave, Eren?"

_Levi had spoke with someone after they rescued me about the body of the third Titan member. I don't think it was Erwin. Does Erwin know already? Did Levi and Hanji not realize who it was? Is Smiles even important or do they just know who some of the__members of Titan__are already? I really don't want to rat__out__the two of them. They rescued me and they brought me here to take a shower after even though they shouldn't have. I really,_really_don't want to get them in trouble with Erwin... when did I start calling all of them by their first names? And why doesn't Mike talk__at all?_

Eren looked at Levi and Hanji and felt his stomach doing small flops in nervousness. Hanji was clearly trying to ignore what was going on by working on their computer, but Levi was looking at him. His face and eyes were expressionless, but he gave him a small nod. Eren hoped that he interpreted it correctly as "just tell him, brat" and that he wasn't about to screw him over.

"If Smiles was the one in the really creepy mask then they're um... they aren't exactly alive anymore."

"Not alive?" Erwin's gaze immediately turned to Levi. "What happened?" Levi breathed in slowly.

"I kicked in the door and the fucker had the misfortune to be standing right behind it. She hit a support post in the room on the way back and her neck fractured. She died on impact. I think it's poetic justice given that she liked to fracture necks herself. Smiles was a psychopathic animal, I'm not about to shed tears over her."

"Levi... Smiles may not have been important in the organization as a whole, but out of the three of them she was the one that I would have liked to have here right now."

"...it was an accident. I'm sorry that I can't see through walls, Erwin." Levi's tone had changed from frustrated to relatively docile with the apology. Even the sarcasm was softened by the tone.

"And I'm assuming the two of you knew as well?" Mike and Hanji nodded, the latter having given up on the charade of doing work. Erwin reached up to pinch the bridge of his nose. "We're going to talk about this later."

An uncomfortable silence settled briefly while Erwin sat pinching his nose and Hanji did their best to hide behind their laptop screen again. Mike was standing stoically beside Hanji while Levi simply stood stiffly, almost at attention just behind Erwin. Eren sat with his head hanging down, watching everyone through the hair that fell over his eyes.

_Everybody seems so on-edge about it. That Smiles person may have been someone that they wanted to talk to, but why is Erwin so upset if it was clearly an accident? Especially when he also said that they weren't all that important really. I mean, Mike and Hanji definitely tried to cover for Levi, but he doesn't seem nearly as upset about that. What's making him single out Levi?_

His subconscious provided him with the memory of Levi standing over the man near the couch where Eren had been with his knife out. _Would he have killed that man or was it simply a threat? Is Erwin worried that Levi killed Smiles intentionally? ...has Levi killed someone intentionally before?_

And that sunk into his stomach like a cold stone.


	14. 14: Questions Beget Questions

The uncomfortable silence that had blanketed the room was broken by Erwin.

"I have a few more questions that I want to ask you, but I believe they can wait for a bit. You said that you wanted more information on Titan. What did you want to know? We might not be able to tell you everything that we know, but we can try to tell you as much as we can."

"I know that they were waiting to kidnap me and that they did kidnap me. I know that there's a guy named Ape who's involved. And that they nearly killed my sister, Mikasa – Red Scarf. I'd like some answers about who the hell these guys are."

Erwin held his hands, fingers twined together, up near his face and stared at Eren over them, considering what he wanted to divulge. He took a few moments to pause and consider it.

"Titan appears – at first sight – to be nothing more than a traditional crime syndicate just like the Stationary Guard and Military Police. Though I suppose the Miliitary Police think that they're doing good, but that's besides the point. My point is that they seem no different from any other group on the outside which makes them very dangerous. Ordinary people, policymakers, the police; they see nothing more than a group of criminals selling drugs, stealing, laundering money... the usual. Nothing really out of the ordinary and so they aren't treated as anything but ordinary. However, we've been tracking them since they first started showing up in the city and what we see and what the public sees are two very different things. They may participate in the activities of ordinary criminals but it is masking their objective, which from a certain vantage point could be called the destruction of humanity; literal and figurative. They're working on... something. We were hoping to get some more information last night. The fact that Ape was supposed to be there tells us that you were actually in the middle of something very big and that our intel wasn't bad, but it wasn't complete either."

The silence this time wasn't uncomfortable, but Eren could here his pulse ringing in his ears as everything Erwin said started to sink in. He had been in the middle of some big deal. _Why was I there? They were clearly looking for me when they kidnapped me and they__tried to kill__Mikasa, but why me?__Why did they take me?_

"Why would I be there then? If Ape is so important then why was I at that meet-up?"

"There's the possibility that it was simply a coincidence. That they had the goal of capturing you to incapacitate your sister and they also had to meet with Ape that night. I think we can agree that the likelihood of that is extraordinarily low. They wanted you specifically, for what reason I don't know yet. We might not have gotten this information if Hanji hadn't requested that you return their clothing."

Erwin shot a look at the other three in the room.

"You should probably make sure that your sister is alright. We've kept you here for quite a while. I would appreciate it if you could come by tomorrow evening so that I can ask you a few more questions about what happened; does eight o'clock work for you?" Eren gave him a small nod, barring any mishaps he would be done with the sticklebacks by then. "Knowing what we know now, we might be able to get a bit more information out of the two in our custody. Perhaps I will have some answers for you as to your involvement in all of this tomorrow."

Erwin stood up and walked over to Hanji to discuss whatever they had been working on while he and Eren talked. Mike moved away to pull out what looked like a pile of maps and laid them out on a table, sifting through them. Levi stood still where he had been the whole time. His posture was no longer stiff, but he remained in a static position for a moment longer than the others. Before he turned towards his teammates he spoke softly to Eren.

"One of us will pick you up tomorrow. Where will you be at that time?"

"I'm going to be just finishing up my hours at the lab then. I'll be at the bio lab building at Trost University. Do you need directions?"

"Shockingly enough, even superheroes use Google Maps."

Eren nodded at him and turned around to leave.

_I don't know what to think about him anymore. He's clearly killed someone before from the sound of it, but did he mean to do it? Or was it an accident like what happened last night?_

_I hope he isn't the one picking me up tomorrow._


	15. 15: History and Interrogation

As soon as the door closed behind Eren, Erwin sighed and looked at the other members of the Survey Corps. He was the _de facto_ leader of the group and he had been the one to bring them all together. Mike had been the first person who he had approached; they were in a different city at the time and had worked for the same employer as a part of their secret identities. Erwin realized shortly after meeting him that his coworker Mike regularly disappeared at the same time as his superhero alter ego would appear elsewhere in the city. When they finally bumped into each other trying to take down a local mob boss they had decided to partner up and share resources. Mike deferred to Erwin's judgment but he never let it go unquestioned if he had doubts.

Hanji had found them. They happened to see them in action and decided to approach them about being their resident mad scientist. It helped that they were a second degree black belt and appeared to be absolutely fearless and able to keep calm in most situations. Their unique way of approaching the challenges that they faced proved to be incredibly useful even if their methods were rather unorthodox.

And then there was Levi.

Erwin saw potential in him years ago and managed to convince Levi to join him and Mike shortly before they met Hanji. Loathe as Levi would be to admit it outright, it was clear that he was closest with Hanji since they had joined at roughly the same time.

He didn't demand unquestioning loyalty from his teammates, but Erwin was surprised that both Hanji _and_ Mike had helped to cover for Levi when he killed Smiles. He supposed that Mike had technically brought it up earlier when he said that the mission had proved to be fruitless and that someone had died. He realized now that he had made the mistake of assuming that it was the _Titans_ who had killed someone and not Levi. He hadn't pressed the issue further even though he should have, Mike had left it right there for him to ask about and he had brushed it off.

He needed to get things straightened out. Now.

"Would the three of you please explain what you were thinking when you covered up Smiles' death?"

Mike

"I got a call from Hanji and Levi that one of them had been killed when Levi kicked the door in. They didn't mention that it was Smiles. I didn't know until just now when Eren said it. After the Titans took out the Special Ops Squad two weeks ago... I think we're all still getting over that. I think it's effecting our judgment."

"Did you see Smiles' body?"

"We both know his history, but I saw the body and unless he is _that_ good at doctoring a body (and I know he isn't), it was an accident."

Hanji

"I was two floors below Levi so that he could listen in with as little excess noise as possible. I heard him kick the door in – pretty damn forcibly too – and came running. He had dropped one of them right by the door and he was by the couch standing over the other guy."

"What was he like when you walked in?"

"Levi definitely had the "scary bastard" vibe going on, but he was honestly pretty focused on Eren being there given what we had actually come for. He was pretty snappish when I brought up the dead body. Well... more than usual."

Levi

"What happened?"

"I misread the situation and moved too soon. I'm sorry, Erwin." Levi hung his head and sighed deeply. "I didn't have to make the choice that I did, but I did and I honestly don't regret it. Given that we didn't see any additional Titans in the area I'm inclined to believe that it was a dummy drop. One of them knows something they aren't sharing."

"And if it was Smiles?"

"I'm sorry, Erwin."

"Why do you think they covered for you?"

"I honestly have no idea why Mike agreed. Maybe it's because of what happened to the Special Ops Squad. I don't know that anyone can forget, or forgive what happened to them. Hanji... is Hanji. You know we work together. I guess we both got hung up on there being a kid there that we didn't expect. He was talking about Red Scarf maybe being dead; things were messy."

"Did you enjoy it?"

"No."


	16. 16: The Sign of Four

The further Eren moved away from the Survey Corps headquarters, the more his discomfort began to dissipate. It was still there in his mind; the Titans, Levi's past, his own involvement in everything. B ut he was able to look at it from an increasingly objective opinion as he put physical and literal distance between himself and the group of superheroes.

_I really hope Erwin is able to figure something out by the time I see him again tomorrow. Even just the smallest bit of information would help. I just need to know why I was there; if somehow I'm important in all of this. It's such a strange thought though, that after all these years of having Mikasa's actions influencing my life I might somehow be influencing hers, at least in terms of all of this crime-fighting superhero bullshit._

Eren's discomfort came back and he stopped in the middle of the sidewalk. He could feel a wave of horror breaking over him and making him sick.

_What if I'm the reason that she was nearly killed._

But no, he wouldn't let himself go there. Not yet. Not until he knew more. He pushed back the guilt welling up and walked forward resolutely towards the bus stop and picked up a soothing mantra that he repeated it to himself as he walked.

_We need milk and Cherry Garcia. Milk and Cherry Garcia. Milk and Cherry Garcia._

"Hey, Mikasa ! I'm back."

" Eren ! You were gone longer than I expected." Mikasa was frow ning at him. "Did something happen? You don't look so good..."

" I just got grilled on everything that happened last night and they told me a lot of stuff about the Titans that's kinda heavy."

"I thought that you were only there to drop off Dr. Scientist's clothes?"

"I was, but then Commander Handsome showed up and he wanted to ask me questions about what happened w hile I was kidnapped. I thought that I didn't know shit, but apparently what I had to say was pretty important? It was weird, I asked him about the Titans and he gave me a lot of informat ion, but he was definitely holding back."

"I'm a little jealous of you meeting them, but The Hawk is an asshole and Nose is creepy and Dr. Scientist is just weird. I guess I can say I admire their professional work and I should probably never actually meet them. "

"Yeah, I wouldn't recommend it." Eren laughed at the idea of Mikasa having to interact with any of the members of the Survey Corps. She was right, they were all a bit odd; even Erwin.

" Eren, do you think you could tell me what the Survey Corps told you?" Armin's voice startled him a bit and he visibly visibly jumped. Mikasa laughed at him and he glared back at her. "I still haven't been able to find anything useful about them. The furthest that I got was that they're a gang that is very much like the Military Police not only in their criminal activities, but in some of their methods as well. You would think there would be more information on them beyond police records of fairly normal gang activities but... the best I could do was that there were four people killed in an apartment in a well-off neighborhood in the northern part of the city. It's notable because the Titans were never implicated and the four of them were brutally murdered... and tortured beforehand."

Armin's voice took on a sarcastic tone. "T he autopsies were 'inconclusive' but nobody would have the sorts of injuries that they did if the 'presumed cause of death' was a broken neck ."

A hush fell over the room. Both Mikasa and Eren stared at each other; Mikasa's face twisted up in disgust and Eren felt like he might actually be sick.

"Marco did a really good job with your emotional and language cortexes, didn't he? I never thought I'd hear an AI being sarcastic." It was a weak joke, but it broke some of the tension and Eren appreciated Mikasa's attempt to lighten the mood, but his mind had already taken a pensive turn.

_That was probably Smiles' work, wasn't it? If the Survey Corps had been following them so closely of course they would know about it. And if they knew about it... Levi accidentally killing Smiles... there's no real remorse in killing a monster dressed as a human , is there? Not when they torture and kill four people like that and get away with it._

_This is why superheroes exist isn't it? the law doesn't always protect those who need protecting. That's why Mikasa risks her life every night. That's why all of them do. I've always known this, but to be faced with Smiles; to know that there are other Titans that are probably just like her... how much restraint could you possibly exercise knowing that?_

It kept turning it over in his head, something stuck at the back of his mind as he scooped out two bowls of Cherry Garcia.


	17. 17: Among Friends

**This chapter isn't quite as fluffy as I intended, but I think it's kinda cute that they've all bonded over the crazy in their lives (much like the canon 104th) and they keep moving forward in spite of their losses because they're all there for each other.**

**Basically it's flangst.**

**Deal with it.**

Over the past few years, Eren had come to realize that when it came to dealing with the pressures of having a superhero for a sister was to hang out with people who _weren't_superheroes.

Even if that meant seeing Horseface .

Everybody loved Marco and unfortunately that meant having to be friends with (or civil to, in Eren's case) Jean. They were both townies who ended up going to Trost University and had been friends since they were kids. They were practically inseparable and Eren couldn't make heads or tails of why Freckled Jesus would continue to be friends with Horseface when there were far nicer people to be friends with; especially now that they were in college.

The funny thing about Eren's life was that even when he was hanging out with people who weren't superheroes, almost all of his group of friends had some sort of relation to superheroes. He supposed it was a comfort thing; they knew what it was like to worry about your friend or sibling or significant other being out at night and facing injury or worse ; all in the name of justice and duty to the public.

Eren looked around at the people gathered in Connie's apartment and realized that the group had shrunk over the years. Part of it _did_ have to do with the fact that their superhero friends had made themselves scarce. Mikasa was home sleeping; Ymir and Krista were out on patrol, taking overMikasa's areas while she was out of commission; Sasha was out of town for the next few days tracking down a jewel thief's fence. But the absences that Eren felt tonight were those of Mina and Thomas. They never really found out what happened other than that Thomas had gone missing and Mina went looking for him and never came back. It had happened a t the end of their first year at Trost. Time had dulled the sense of loss, but forEren it was a cautionary tale and he always worried about Mikasa when she charged off to rescue him from yet another kidnapping.

_Mina was a psychic and even_her _judgment was clouded when it came to her no__rmal__boyfriend._

"Hey, Jaeger! Stop looking like someone shot your puppy and get your ass over here. We're ordering pizza. I don't know that I'm hungry anymore after looking at your face though."

"Fuck off, Horseface . I don't know how anyone here is going to be able to eat looking at yours."

Jean flipped him off and Eren followed him into the kitchen where everyone else over by the table arguing about toppings.

" We need extra sausage."

"Wow, Connie. You've been spending a lot of time with Sasha, haven't you?"

"We don't need extra sausage. Tonight's already a total sausagefest with all the ladies out hunting b ad guys tonight. .."

"Jean!"

"...except Mikasa . Though we all know whose fault that is."

"SHUT THE FUCK UP HORSEFACE ."

Everyone was staring at Eren . It was common knowledge that he had something of a short fuse, but he hadn't blown up like this in a while. Staring at fish for hours at a time for three years seemed to have mellowed him out ; it was scientifically proven method. Well, that and growing up and learning some self-control. Regardless of how well he had learned to control his anger now, this was something that he had come here tonight to avoid thinking about.

"I'm sorry man, I wasn't thinking."

Eren took some deep breaths and counted to ten.

_Jean didn't mean it. We always say shit like this to each other and he just didn't think because he's Jean. It's okay. You're going to figure this out tomorrow and everything is going to be okay._

Marco put a hand on his arm and smiled reassuringly at him. It was okay and he was with friends. Friends who legitimately understood his life. On any other night Jean's comment would have annoyed him rather than caused him to blow up. He was determined to take his mind off of this whole mess tonight.

"...and what about the time with Shadis ? I still can't believe Sasha did that!"

"Man, our first year was weird wasn't it? I still can't believe that Krista was able to keep it under wraps so long. Especially with Ymir around."

"Are you talking about her and Ymir or her being Historia ?" Eren kept his expression flat for a moment and then immediately dissolved into laughter with the other three.

This was why he hung out with them. They could joke about the strange normality of their lives without worrying about having to couch their language or be ready to backpedal and cover for themselves . He felt most normal in a world that was as far from normal as you could get. Super strength, telekinesis, shape shifting, pyrokinesis , human flight... In their world, this was normal. In their world, college kids created AI programsthat befriended their owners and had dreams. In their world you learned to make the worst excuses sound believable. In their world they stood by in the wee hours of the morning with gauze and disinfectant. In their world you got used to being kidnapped. In their world you were ready for anything.

In their world they weren't alone.

They had each other.

_Even if one of them is Horseface._


	18. 18: Exhaustion and Injury

It was well after midnight when Eren began to stumble home, exhaustion putting a heavy weight on his body that forced him to shuffle and hope that his depth perception was functioning somewhere close to normal. He wasn't drunk; years ago, when he first started getting kidnapped on a regular basis Mikasa had insisted that he not return home if he had been drinking unless she or another superhero was with him. He had felt like a child then and tried to fight her on it, but her concerns were proven to be valid when he went party-hopping with Connie, Marco and Jean. Forget about having to deal with cops when it came to underage drinking, he had ended up having to deal with Vesperia. In a choice between cops and someone who talked snakes into being the muscular restraints that held you to a pipe, he'd take getting thrown into the back of a squad car. Hell, he'd even take some light police brutality over dealing with Vesperia.

He was jerked out of his thoughts when he saw a shadow flutter on the roof two buildings ahead and he just _knew_ that they were there for him. Smiles and her two lackeys had gotten the jump on him because he got complacent. This person wouldn't.

_Whoever the fuck that is, if they come anywhere near me I will kick them in the knee as hard as fucking possible. Hell if I care that they'll never walk properly again, I am so sick of this bullshit. Just leave me alone asshole._

He straightened up and tried to will his sleepy limbs to move faster. He wasn't stupid enough to try and get on the roof to deal with them. If they wanted to follow him up top he wasn't going to take the initiative, but the moment they hit the pavement he wasn't going to hold back. To take away their ability to get the (literal) drop on him Eren crossed to the other side of the street where the sidewalk ran along a park. If they wanted to get near him then he was going to see them coming. He discreetly looked over to the other side of the street to check if the shadow was still there and saw nothing.

And that's when he heard the tiniest of noises right behind him.

Eren pivoted to use his right foot to sweep his follower's feet out from under them and while simultaneously drawing up his arms upwards, ready to deliver a blow or protect himself from one if necessary.

Instead, he ended up on his back, staring up at the silhouette of his unknown attacker.

"If that's what you call walking quickly then you'd be in trouble right now." He knew that voice and his stomach lurched, then flopped, then boiled up with anger as he picked himself up off of the ground. "You get points for crossing the street but clearly you weren't paying enough attention or I wouldn't have been able to get so close behind you. Your hand-to-hand skills aren't bad though."

"What the _fuck_ L –" A hand was immediately clamped across his mouth and given a glare that made him want to curl up and die.

"No, I think I get to ask _you_ what the fuck you thought you were going to say there."

Eren mumbled an apology and nearly fell over when Levi grabbed his arm and started pulling him along in the direction of his apartment.

"And before you ask, no I'm not here of my own accord. Commander thought you could do with a _benevolent _shadow since your sister shouldn't be moving out and you're kind of important right now."

"I was just fine you know. And you could have just come up to me and told me you were under orders to babysit me four blocks ago when I left Connie's."

"I needed to keep my distance for a bit."

"Why? So you could sneak up behind me and tell me I'm shit at looking out for myself?"

"No, because the person on the roof wasn't me."

"Oh."

"Yeah."

They walked on in awkward silence, questions flying through Eren's brain and catching just before they reached his tongue. Levi stopped walking when they were a few yards away from the apartment building's front door. Eren stopped as well and shifted uneasily on his feet, staring at the other man.

_Am I supposed to say good night? He's just sort of staring at me, but I guess I'm staring at him too so there's that. Do I apologize for being a bit of an ass earlier? Or is it just expected that I'm going to make stupid accusations? He didn't seem really upset about it. But then again he doesn't seem to let people in and let them know what he's thinking. We've been standing here just a little too long, okay this is really awkward now._

_What if I kissed him right now?_

"Jaeger, you could at least thank someone for saving your ass you know."

_...or he was waiting for that._

"Sorry, um... I'm really tired. So yeah, thanks."

"Hn. Night, brat."

"Yeah."

It felt like Levi barely moved before he disappeared from Eren's sight. He sighed and pulled out his keys. Regardless of whether or not Levi had been ordered to shadow him tonight, he didn't have to show himself. He could have easily taken care of the person on the roof and Eren wouldn't have even known that he was there but instead he chose to let Eren know that he was there and walk with him the rest of the way home.

_So I guess he doesn't hate me then. He also chose to scare off whoever it was on the roof by showing himself rather than taking them on personally, but he seemed like he was totally okay with maybe taking out the one guy from the Titans in the apartment. I just wish I knew what his deal was._

_Following the Survey Corps in the paper and looking up to all of them... crushing on him so hard for the past year... he really isn't who I thought he would be, what I thought he would be._

In spite of being exhausted, it took Eren another hour to fall asleep after he got into bed. He was dreading his early class in the morning.

Eren woke up before his alarm to the sound of the local news channel coming from the living room. As he walked in he saw his sister sitting on the couch, knees pulled to her chest with her arms wrapped around them. Her chin rested on the tops of her knees as best as she could with the neck brace and she was wearing a solemn expression. She didn't react to him entering the room immediately.

"There was an fight in front of a bar two blocks away from us. One of the men has multiple stab wounds and is in the hospital in critical condition. They don't think he's going to make it. His attacker has three prior arrests for assault on his record." Her voice was dead as she continued to stare at the screen.

"And what could you have done if you were there? Yelled at him to stop? You can't fight with the injuries that you have. You would only make them worse and then you'd be out for even longer." Eren tried to keep calm, but he had given this talk to Mikasa every single time she was injured and unable to protect the area she patroled for the past four years. "Turn off the news and stop torturing yourself. Krista and Ymir are taking over your patrol."

"And a lot of good they did last night."

Eren was at a loss for words at Mikasa's statement. He'd never heard her say anything negative about their friends. She might poke fun at Sasha's appetite or get frustrated with Krista's apathy or Ymir's selfishness, but she had never said anything like that before. She had never said anything intimating that her fellow superheroes were unable to do their jobs properly.

"Mikasa...?"

"I'm sorry, Eren. I didn't really mean that. I can't stop every crime in my patrol area myself and even with the two of them they won't be able to cover everything. My area is already bigger than the one the two of them handle. It's just so frustrating because I've never been off the streets for as long as I'm going to have to be this time. I've only been off the streets for two nights and I'm already going crazy."

"I don't really know what to say... I'm just me. I can't help patrol or anything."

She turned her full body to face him now, mindful of her neck. She looked like she was about to say something reassuring to him; that he was who he was and she loved him anyway. Instead...

"What the fuck happened to your face!?"

"Huh?"

"You have a bad bruise on you forehead above your right eyebrow and... is that a gash? Are those butterfly closures on your face? It's that deep? Eren, _tell me what happened. _Did you get in a fight with Jean last night? I swear to fucking god Eren, I thought the two of you were done with all of that bullshit."

Eren raised two fingers to his head and pushed gently against the skin; it was definitely inflamed and bruised, he would look at it in the mirror after he showered.

"Actually this happened before I went over to Connie's."

"When? How the hell didn't I notice that?"

"We were kind of caught up in talking about the Titans and you were tired. It happened when I was with the Survey Corps yesterday. Dr. Scientist accidentally opened a door into me when I was dropping their clothes off."

"They did _what_?"

"I was standing really close to the door and I wasn't paying attention and then... and then there was a door in my face. It wasn't their fault, you don't need to go hunt them down. They patched me up just fine, disinfected it and everything." _Well, they did after Levi made them. And it was cheap vodka and not rubbing alcohol, but Mikasa doesn't need to know that._

"I'm going to redo them after you shower."

"Mikasaaaa... I think I'm capable of putting band aids on my face."

"Let me feel like I'm doing something useful?"

"Fine, _mom_."

"Thank you. I made a pot of coffee. You're running late so go take a shower and I'll fill up a travel mug for you."

"Thank you so much Mikasa."

"Eren, I can't leave this apartment for the next six days. I'll do anything to keep myself busy."

"Does that mean you'll clean the bathroom this week?"

"The chore chart still counts even if I am stuck at home."

"You said you'd do anything!"

"Fuck off, Eren!"

"Love you too!"


	19. 19: To Friends, Old and New

"I'm sorry about last night. Jean shouldn't have said that..."

"It's fine. I lost it for a second but then I remembered that it was Horseface and he never thinks about what he's saying."

"_Eren_, can't the two of you try to be friends?"

"_Marco_," Eren mimicked his exasperated tone. "He's an ass. How are the two of you still friends?"

"We've known each other since we were kids."

"So you're only still friends with him because you've known him since before the two of you could read?"

"I didn't say that."

"You implied it."

"Yes, he's been one of my closest friends for as long as I can remember, but I'm not still friends with him out of misplaced loyalty."

"No, you've stayed friends because you have Stockholm Syndrome."

The both of them burst out laughing. Marco considered Jean to be his best friend, but it didn't mean that he couldn't laugh about their odd couple friendship. Marco was double majoring in computer science and psychology. He wanted to create AI programs that could not only mimic human emotions, but comprehend them as well. His dream was to create a program that could assist the elderly, the mentally impaired, and the homebound. Armin was merely a prototype and he had been happy to create him and continued to help him grow as his own skills improved.

On the other hand, Jean was majoring in business because he wanted to have a secure future and a comfortable life when he graduated. If there was one thing that Eren had to admire about Jean it was that he was an uncomplicated person. What you saw was what you got.

The both of them parted ways as Eren headed to the stickleback lab and Marco went back to his apartment for dinner. There were still people in the lab building when Eren entered, but half of them were on their way out. It was really only the lab assistants who were left in the building now. Most of them knew each other's names and would say hello as they walked by, but nobody really hung out together when they had to make sure that everything was running smoothly. He figured that he had what was technically the easiest job. He watched fish; fed them, counted them, measured them, recorded their environmental data. It was boring work, but Eren loved it in a way. He certainly wasn't in love with the sticklebacks, but he was in love with marine biology.

Proof that Marco was brilliant was the fact that Eren had spoken about the ocean so much with Armin that his dream was for them to explore the deep ocean together. Him and his trusty AI sidekick, exploring the unknown wonders at the furthest depths of the sea. Yes, it would just be him and a voice in his ear, but it would still be brilliant. He knew it would be.

Eren stared at the fish swimming in their tanks and let the stress of the past few days flow out.

Nothing was more relaxing than this.

Eren watched the clock on the wall tick closer and closer to eight o'clock. He realized that he had no way of knowing when someone from the Survey Corps showed up. He still didn't have a single way of contacting them other than knocking on the door of their headquarters. Levi had simply popped up out of the blue yesterday and if they were going to be trailing him on a regular basis then he definitely wanted a way of contacting them that wasn't "get kidnapped for the n th time."

_I'll ask for a phone number or_something _when I get picked up, hopefully they're picking me up in the car because I don't have any clue what to look for otherwise. I guess I'll go wait by the doors and hope I see them and don't have to actually go outside until I need to. Not really in the mood for a repeat of two nights ago..._

He was sitting on a bench in the lobby of the building looking out at the street and waiting for some sort of vehicle to come into view. He looked down at his watch; it was now ten after.

_Come on guys, I really don't need to start freaking out about this shit right now. Just show up and tell me that the traffic on Main was awful and you had to take River instead. Please. I don't need this._

Now it was quarter after eight and Eren felt like he was going to throw up.

_I told them that it was the biology lab building, I know I did. I know that Levi made the smartass comment about Google Maps. I know that they are all experienced crime-fighters. I also know that sketchy people are following me around and Erwin is having Levi to keep tabs on me._

_I'm just going to step outside and maybe they parked on the side and they don't have my phone number and this is all a big misunderstanding._

Eren stepped out the front doors into the brisk evening air. He couldn't see anything that would indicate the presence of another human being, but he could almost feel someone watching him and now he really thought he was going to throw up.

He turned around and headed back for the building.

_Levi, I dare you to tell me I'm walking slowly right now._

Not only was it (presumably) safer inside, there was also a toilet he could throw up in.

"Eren! Eren, wait up!"

"H- Hanji!?"

He immediately clapped a hand over his mouth. They walked towards him, waving and smiling and then it hit him; they weren't in uniform. This was _Hanji_ and not Dr. Scientist. They didn't look all that different except that the goggles had been replaced with glasses and they had swapped out the white lab coat for a brown jacket.

"Come on, I was waiting for you in the parking lot. I was getting worried."

Eren followed them, taking deep breaths to calm his stomach. The car from the night before was sitting in the parking lot and Hanji was holding the door open for him and looking concerned. As soon as he was seated Eren exhaled loudly and brought his hands to his face; he could see they were shaking slightly. Hanji sat started up the car and began to pull out of the parking lot.

"I'm sorry I worried you, I didn't mean to. I just thought you would be pulling up on the street in front of the building."

"Don't worry about it. I should've told you where to meet me."

"If this is going to be a regular thing, can I get your phone number or some way to contact you? I had no idea what the hell was going on when I didn't see you earlier and I didn't want to go outside in case there was a repeat of the night before."

"I'm going to bet that none of the Titans know that Smiles' death was unintentional so that should put you in the clear for a bit."

"Someone was following me last night."

"Haha, yeah... about that. Erwin asked Levi to –"

"No, I ran into Levi. There was someone else following me and he scared them off. Scared the crap out of me as well, but there was someone else there." Eren was looking directly at Hanji now as they drove along in the dark. "You know there was someone else there, don't you?"

They glanced away from the road and at him briefly before answering.

"Yes, but we aren't going to talk about it now."

"So then when?"

"It's on the to-do list for tonight. Trust me, okay?"


	20. 20: Shadows in the Night

It was a sort of resentment.

A lot of his evenings consisted of sitting still and lurking on rooftops, but this was different. The action may be the same, but the reasons for it this time aren't ones that he likes. He's used to watching drug dealers and mob bosses from the shadows, waiting for their lackeys to turn a blind eye so that he could take advantage and take care of business.

This was different.

This was a passive act.

This was watching and waiting to see if something _might_happen and then responding accordingly. So he was sitting here watching the kid eat pizza with his friends. There was another kid who he clearly didn't get along with; he screamed at him at one point. He wasn't particularly close (_always put some distance between you and your target, don't let them know they're being watched_) but he could still hear the kid yell. Couldn't tell you what he said, but the volume and tone indicated anger.

_Thanks Erwin, I'm freezing my balls off so that I can watch the dumb brat eat pizza and yell at people._

"_I need you to shadow Eren."_

"_So is this some sort of fucked up punishment for what happened with Smiles?"_

"_No, you're just better equipped to shadow him than the rest of us."_

"_Worried the brat is going to get kidnapped between now and tomorrow night?"_

"_Or worse."_

"_They seemed like they wanted to keep him alive last time."_

_Erwin fixed his eyes on Levi and frowned._

"_You know that there are worse things."_

Levi shifted again so that his legs didn't fall asleep while he was waiting. He had shifted countless times and changed his vantage point three times already as Eren and his friends moved through the apartment. He had been happy to find his current location a little over an hour ago as it afforded him a view of almost the entire apartment without requiring him to move. The four boys (he couldn't think of them as men) had stopped moving between rooms once the pizza had arrived.

_I've been watching this fucking apartment for almost four god damn hours now and I've watched the brat eat an entire disgusting pizza and play some video game for the past two hours. Erwin, you fucking owe me for this. I swear to fucking christ, if anyone shows up tonight I am not going to hold back. I can't decide if I want a stiff drink or to punch something right now._

He waited in the same position for another thirty minutes before he watched Eren grab his coat and head for the door.

_Fucking finally._

He dropped down off the roof to follow Eren at a closer distance. If anybody approached Eren on the ground, he was useless on the roof; if anybody approached him from the roof, well... nobody had gotten the drop on him yet. He debated simply walking with the kid, but he had no desire to walk a kid home while in uniform. It seemed undignified to and somehow _wrong_ to him to come out of the shadows and walk along the street next to someone. It was bad enough that he was on the ground.

_Stay away from the ground; somewhere up high where youcan see everything._ _Have multiple exit routes and escape plans. Don't just have a Plan A and a Plan B; have an alphabet of plans._

Levi was sticking to the opposite side of the street from Eren where he could conceal himself in the shadows cast by the trees in the park. He saw the flick of movement on top of a building a few back from the one that Eren was currently walking in front of. He watched it and identified it as being a human figure in loose clothing, a hoodie or hat was pulled over their head. He couldn't tell if they were wearing a mask. Watching them move a bit closer, Levi weighed how fast he could get up to the roof top to deal with them. Probably quickly enough that they wouldn't notice someone else was there. He was always shocked how inattentive people were since the grapple gear that Hanji had designed was hardly silent. To Levi it seemed very loud when he was trying to be stealthy, but of course the sensitivity of his hearing went beyond that of others.

As he was weighing his options he kept his eyes on Eren and realized that he must have noticed that he had a follower as well since he seemed to be speeding up his pace. _If you can call that walking quickly._ Levi was a little surprised when Eren crossed to the other side of the street even though the lighting on this side of the street wasn't quite as bright._Okay, I've gotta give him some credit. He has decent instincts about putting spacefor observationbetween himself and a potential threat._

The shadow on the roof had disappeared while he had been keeping an eye on Eren crossing the street. A figure in the alleyway across the street caught his eye. _Male,roughlyfive foot eight, medium frame, muscular, probably around 160lbs... visible knife, no gun._Again, Levi contemplated simply going over and dealing with the man himself, but the events of the past few days and the memories they had dredged up kept him on the other side of the street.

There _was_ another option.

The obvious appearance of a member of the Survey Corps would either spook off an inexperienced shadow or draw out an experienced one looking for a challenge. Given the man's stance (or lack thereof) Levi assumed he fell into the former group rather than the latter.

So he walked up behind Eren. He didn't go through any great lengths to hide his presence, but he didn't intentionally reveal himself either. He was curious as to how much Eren relied on his superpowered sister. He scuffed the ground lightly and the kid pivoted, ready to sweep his leg out from under him and land a hit if he needed. It didn't work on him (he had the kid flat on his back with a quick counter of his own) but it might have worked on the shadow in the alley.

Levi looked down at him. Eren's face was completely blank in shock. The completely disarmed expression reminded Levi that he was still young, too young to be dealing with whatever he had stumbled into the other night. He pushed that back though; it didn't matter when he was already right in the middle of it. It would be a disservice to treat him as a child and give him a gold star for trying when he needed a kick in the ass to motivate him to do better. He never bothered with tact before and he wouldn't now.

"If that's what you call walking quickly then you'd be in trouble right now."

For a moment he thought the kid was going to break with all the emotions that went across his face.

And then he came back at him like a small hurricane of pent-up frustration.

Good boy.

.

**Oh and by the way the "grapple gear" is essentially the 3DMG with some tweaks because no blades.**

**So chapter four in the Asides has a cheat sheet of everyone's abilities and uniforms: fanfiction dot net/s/10713081/4/The-ALYNA-Asides**


	21. 21: The Unknown

Even the short distance down the dark alley that led to the Survey Corps headquarters felt menacing now knowing that someone had been following him. Eren was fairly certain now that someone had been watching him earlier when he was looking for Hanji. Every shadow and darkened corner felt menacing now, closing in around him and enveloping him. Somebody could be hiding around the corner or in the shadows cast by buildings or trash cans – and there was so little he could do against them. He didn't have any superpowers, he wasn't really trained in how to defend himself. Sure, he had picked up some tricks here and there, but he had never really _needed_ to defend himself. Mikasa had always been there for him when he charged into a fight blindly, he knew he was hopelessly outmatched when it came to supervillains; the best he could do was run.

Eren trailed behind Hanji as they entered the headquarters and headed directly to the main area on the ground floor. Everyone else was seated around a table and Erwin was looking over some documents while Levi and Mike merely sat quietly, all of them clearly waiting for Hanji and Eren's arrival.

"Look who I brought with me!" Hanji's voice was painfully loud as it broke the silence. The three men looked up at them and Eren.

"Did you encounter any issues?" Erwin's brow wrinkled almost imperceptibly and he looked at the clock. "It's almost nine."

"We didn't let Eren know where we would pick him up so we both ended up waiting for one another in the wrong place." Hanji's hand went to the back of their head as they laughed a bit nervously. "I didn't want to mention it before – sorry, Eren – but there was definitely someone else there."

"I felt like someone was watching me, that's why I was heading back inside when you called out to me." The four of them had their eyes on him.

"Did you see anyone?" Erwin's brow wrinkled further and his jaw clenched.

"No, but I could feel it."

"Well that's not very helpful, is it?"

"_Levi..._"

"If it's the same person that I saw then they aren't very good at their job. They had a piss poor stance and the moment I showed up they left. Our assumption is that they were Military Police."

"Why would the Military Police be after me?"

"It's highly like that it is for the same reason that the Titans are."

"_Well what the hell is that reason?_"

Eren's outburst prompted them to all look at him with interest . His patience had worn thin over the past few days; Mikasa had been injured, he had been kidnapped by the Titans for unknown reasons, he was being followed by someone from the Military Police. None of it was adding up and he wanted answers. The Titans had made the fact that they were interested in him very clear, that another group was interested him as well for reasons unknown to him was just the cherry on top of the mess he had stumbled into.

Erwin cleared his throat.

"We aren't completely certain. We believe that it has something to do with your father though."

"I haven't seen him in years. How could I be even remotely useful to them? It's not like I know where he is." _Even if I did, I don't give a shit. I'd probably tell them. Who cares?_

"He disappeared a number of years ago, didn't he?"

"Eight. Nine in a three months."

The muscles in Eren's jaw tightened as he spat it out. He didn't like to think about it. Almost nine years ago now; he had been twelve years old. They had only had his mother with them for a year and a half longer, but death tended to be a good reason for not being with your children anymore . As far as Eren and Mikasa knew, Grisha Jaeger was still alive and he didn't intend on coming home any time soon. He had spent years upset and missing his father, hoping that he would walk through the front door again.

Eren gave up on that dream when he was sixteen.

Silence had settled awkwardly over their group as Eren made an effort to control himself. Everything was bubbling up so close to the surface now and keeping everything down was becoming more and more difficult for him.

Mike grunted and spoke. "Maybe we should go back to talking about what's going on right now."

"Hmm. Yes." Erwin began speaking again. "I had hoped to have more information by now, but there isn't a great deal of information on the Titans to be found regardless of how closely we've be following them. Even the Military Police haven't let any useful information slip out. We're feeling around largely in the dark still. We know that the Military Police are looking to have some political control in the city and are more than willing to use violence to achieve that. Honestly, the most useful information that we've been able to dig up is that the Military Police are _also_ interested in you and that's only because one of them was following you. I wish that we had more to go off of, but it's clear that people know that we're looking into it and they don't want us getting close... one of our contacts turned up in the river last night."

Eren was quiet a moment. He felt a chill go up his spine and felt like he was going to throw up.

"So we don't know _anything_?"

"Not much. Not yet."

"So why am I here right now?" He was staring incredulously at Erwin.

"Because I wanted to be able to speak with you in person."

"I just don't get it. What am I supposed to _do_ now? I don't know much more now than when I walked through the door other than that my dad might be mixed up in this." Eren's temper was bubbling very close to the surface now and he was putting all of his effort into not letting it take hold of him.

"I want you to consider anything that you might remember about your father. He seems to be one of the key pieces in this puzzle."

_Can I send you the therapy bill for that? Because that's what I'm going to need if I have to spend the next week trying to remember shit about him. I've been just fine_not _thinking about him for years now, I don't need to dredge all of that up again._

A pause that went on a beat too long.

"Eren?"

"Yeah. Fine. I'll try to think about it."

"Thank you, Eren. In the mean time, we're going to be rotating shadowing you in order to ensure your and your sister's safety."

_Oh good, I get to make an ass of myself in front of Levi some more._

"I really wish that we could have been able to tell you more, but we're at a loss ourselves."

"I understand."

_No, I don't understand shit._

_What the fuck is going on?_

_Why is this happening?_

_Why me and why now?_


	22. 22: Caring

"I understand."

"I'm glad." Erwin held his gaze on Eren for a moment longer before turning. "Hanji, I need to speak with you. Levi will take you home, Eren."

_Fan-fucking-tastic. Just what I need to top off this shit show of an evening, a half hour in the car with Levi. Levi who knows that I got off to him. Levi who laid me flat on my ass the other night. Levi who insisted that Hanji clean my cut up properly. Levi who decided to reveal himself and scare off a potential threat than to take them down himself. Levi who walked me home. Levi who I really_really _want to kiss._

"Come on brat, let's get going."

_Levi who thinks of me as a brat; a kid._

_And that hurts worse than him being an asshole._

Eren trailed behind Levi, somewhat dejected. He felt a bit safer walking down the alley this time, but he couldn't tell if it was because he felt so drained and frustrated from talking with Erwin or if he just felt safer with Levi. It was a short walk, but it felt longer this time. Eren was starting to feel sick again. He knew that he wasn't going to throw up, it was a different kind of sickness. It wasn't nausea, it was a slight twinge in his chest.

"Are you feeling alright?" Levi's tone was neutral bordering on gentle.

"I'm fine. Why wouldn't I be with everything else?" His tone was harsh and clipped; he had wanted answers and now he just had more questions.

"Good, because you looked like you were going to throw up there and I am not dealing with your fucking puke in our car."

Any gentleness in his tone was gone. He yanked the car door open and sat at the wheel. Eren stared blankly at the passenger door, his hand resting on the handle and making no move to open it. He stood frozen. _He was asking because he actually cared... and I threw it back at him._

"Get in the car, brat. I have better things to be doing tonight."

Now he really felt like he was going to be sick.

The car ride was mostly silent. Neither of them talked and Eren didn't so much as try to glance at Levi. He shouldn't have snapped at him, it wasn't his fault that everything was the way that it was. The man had saved him from yet another kidnapping and barring his harsh words, Levi had never been intentionally unkind to Eren. Unless you called laying him out flat the night before – and Eren couldn't help but think that he wasn't doing it to be an ass , it was just his own way of pointing out that he needed to be better prepared in case of an attack. He realized that lot of Levi being rude seemed to have to do with a combination of bluntness and a lack of social grace.

"Do you know how to fight? Or was last night the extent of it?"

"Huh?" Out of all the ways to break the silence, that was one that he hadn't anticipated.

"Can you defend yourself if necessary? Or do you usually wait for your sister to save your scrawny ass?"

"I'm pretty alright I guess. I got into a lot of fights in high school, but Mikasa bailed me out of a lot of them. Another friend of mine from high school – Annie – taught me a fair bit. The leg sweep I was going for last night was something she used a lot."

"So why don't you try to fight off your kidnappers?"

"I used to, but it's difficult to do anything against people with super strength or pretty much any power. After I ended up with a broken arm and a concussion and Mikasa _still_ had to come save my ass it just didn't seem like it was worth it. If you don't fight, you can't win but...it's sort of hopeless when you're only human."

_Well that was a way more honest and depressing answer than I wanted to give. He probably thinks I'm just a weak idiot now._

"Like, I know that I can take someone who's just human and do pretty well for myself, but it tends not to be just one person who gets sent after me. If they want Mikasa's attention, they want me. If they want me, they send more than one person to make sure that they _do_ get me."

Eren was staring at his hands and fiddling with the cuticle on his left thumb. He could feel Levi's eyes on him as they sat at a stop sign for a bit too long. He shifted, slightly uncomfortable and Levi continued to drive.

"I'll teach you."

Eren's head shot up and he stared at Levi; his lips parted slightly in shock.

"It'll make my job easier if you can defend yourself. And who knows, maybe you'll grow a pair and stop with the self-pity."

Somehow he found his voice.

"You actually care, don't you?"

He was grinning and on the verge of laughing. Levi on the other hand kept his neutral mask in place as he spoke again.

"Or maybe I just don't want to be on the receiving end your sister's or Erwin's wrath for letting you get killed by your own inability to protect yourself. Erwin seems to think you're important for some reason."

"Hmph. Fine."

The silence the rest of the way back was more comfortable than it had been earlier.

His stomach felt like it had dropped again, but not in a bad way.

_Bullshit, Levi. You do care._


	23. 23: I Care Enough Not to Care

**Have some angsty and introspective Levi.**

**I'll probably continue to write counterpoint POVs for chapters that only have Eren and Levi in them just because those tend to have really different readings depending on whose head you're in. Hella different as I'm sure you've noticed...**

It was clear that the kid didn't understand a thing that Erwin was asking of him besides trying to remember things about his father. But underneath that confusion there was also frustration and anger and Levi could see that plain as day. He wondered how well Erwin, Hanji and Mike could see it, or more specifically, how well they _understood_ it. The anger that he saw ran deep. It wasn't just anger at Erwin for having him come out at night to find out nothing more than that his father might be somehow related to this mess. He could see it on his face; not only had his father walked out, his mother was gone as well – he'd had nobody but his sister for a while now. And jumbled up in all of that there was another type of anger: righteous.

Of course he would have a more personal sense of justice given his sister 's work , but this ran deeper. There was something in his past that he clearly didn't want to dredge up in all this and as much as he'd rather deny it, he was curious.

_What happened, kid?_

It's not that he _minded_driving the kid home per se. What he did mind was driving home a kid who had a fucking _crush_on him. Other people might be flattered by the attention but it just made him uncomfortable. There was a reason that he had told the kid that he'd heard him in the shower. Hewanted him to back off and since the kid h ad enough sense not to outright confess it, he hadn't had to go through the frustration of having topolitely tell him to fuck off because he didn't get involved with kids . He seemed like someone who would argue and wheedle and just generally make a nuisance of himself. Of course, it had also been worth it to see the kid look absolutely petrified with mortification. He had thought that would be the end of it, but then the way that the kid had looked at him the night before... like a high schooler waiting for a good night kiss. Levi had been glad to have something to snap him out of it with.

_And it's not as though he shouldn't have thanked me anyway. Maybe he could've taken care of himself, maybe he couldn't have. It's__still__common fucking courtesy._

He'd also seen the way the kid's face had fallen every time he'd snapped back at him. He wasn't trying to be cruel, he just wanted to create some distance. In another lifetime he would have taken the kid to bed and then kicked him out in the morning, refused to so much as acknowledge his presence. He wasn't that person anymore though, was trying not to be.

_Don't give him the rope to hang himself on__thinking__he has a chance._

He knew that he was toeing the line of distance and derision. He knew that he was disappointing the kid in a lot of ways. He was The Hawk, one of the members of the Survey Corps. Unlike superheroes like Madame Mystery they policed their backyard in addition to the region. It would be hypocritical to headquarter themselves in such a corrupt and crime-ridden city like Trost and not fight there as well as the surrounding region.

But in addition to everything they did, there was still the image of the superhero that the public fiercely held onto; the martyr who defended and protected the weak, who was good and kind, who told children to eat their vegetables. Unlike the others, he so rarely stood in the daylight that it was easy to project expectations onto him. To imagine him as someone who he wasn't.

_Never meet your heroes, kid._

_They'll only disappoint you._

He knew that he had already disappointed Eren from the moment they met, or at least shaken the image of him that he held. Heroes don't threaten someone with a blade. Heroes don't kill, no matter what the crime. A hero bends down and offers you a hand to help you up, they don't make snide comments about your age or tell you to fuck off when you need a ride home (though he had relented on that one).

_No, I suppose disappointment isn't the right word. He wanted to meet The Hawk and instead he got__someone named Levi.__The Hawk probably doesn't even exist for him anymore._

He had almost expected the kid to be checking him out the way that he had the last time that he'd given him a ride, but he was staring fairly intently at his lap and he could feel the tension in the car. Normally he wouldn't have cared, but he'd seen that anger and frustration when they left and remembered the night before and now it was gone. The kid may not know a lot about what was going on around him – hell, _he_didn't know much more – but that didn't mean that his ignorance kept him safe.

_Just the opposite__._

"Do you know how to fight? Or was last night the extent of it?"

He expected him to come back with the same fire as the night before when he had taunted him about not being able to take care of himself in a fight. He hadn't expected the uncertainty and introspection of his answer.

" If you don't fight, you can't win but... i t's sort of hopeless when you're only human."

_T__hat's really what it comes down to doesn't it? An unequal playing field. You can only try so many times before you realize that there isn't much reason to try anymore, that the outcome is always the same. Not when someone comes to get you every time. You can't stand solidly on your own two feet if you've never learned how to get up to begin with._

"I'll teach you."

_There's still a bit of a spark there. Let's see if we can fan it into a flame._

_You need to protect yourself for the people who care about you. You need to protect yourself if you want to survive this mess. You have so much more to lose._

"You actually care don't you?"

_No, not in the way that you want me to._

_Sorry._


	24. 24: Can I Have Your Number?

Eren had a moment of déjà vu as they pulled up to the curb in front of his apartment building. He'd been accompanied home by Levi every night since he had been kidnapped by the Titans. It was a weird realization. It was starting feel like an almost-routine. There was a slight smile that he couldn't seem to get off of his face as he sat there. This time the silence and his hesitation to leave didn't seem quite as awkward or unnatural. There was a reason that he was hanging back, an_actual_reason and not a fake one to keep him in close proximity to Levi.

_But what the hell was it?_

"Well, that _is_your building there, isn't it?"

"Yeah."

_Why can't I remember?_

"Usually you get out of the car and go inside when you get home."

"Can I get your number?" _Wait no. That came out wrong. Fuck, I'm dead._"And also Hanji's! Because they said they'd give me theirs so we didn't end up waiting on two different sides of the building u m, and also Mike's and Erwin's numbers? I really don't know it's just that if you're going to be watching out for me then maybe we should have a way to communicate that doesn't involve me getting almost-kidnapped?" _Very smooth, Jaeger._

Levi was giving him a hard stare and he couldn't read anything from it. There wasn't really any emotion in it, just observation.

"I'm sorry never mind. It's a stupid idea, we'll figure something out."

Eren was scrabbling for the door handle now. He could feel his face was on fire with embarrassment.

_I just meant that I wanted a way to contact them because Hanji said that they would give me their phone number and I forgot to ask for it while we were there. Fuck, I didn't mean for it to come out like I wanted his number because I like him. I mean, I do but –_

"Eren." _Holy shit, I think that's the first time he's said my name._

Levi's hand extended towards him, palm up.

"I need your phone if I'm going to put your number in, don't I?"

"Right, yeah. One minute."

Eren fumbled around, patting down his pockets for his phone. As he handed it over he had a minor heart attack; he couldn't remember if he still had an image of The Hawk set as his lock screen. Since Levi didn't make any remarks as he started entering his number, Eren took this as a sign that he had changed his lock screen image to something that wasn't The Hawk and hopefully wasn't anything too embarrassing either. Levi finished putting in his number and tossed his phone back. Eren nearly dropped it in surprise.

"I texted myself from your phone. I'll pass it along to Hanji and they can give you their number. You won't get Erwin's number, but you'll probably get Mike's at some point."

"Thanks."

_I have The Hawk's phone number._

"Hn. Get out, brat."

_I have_Levi's _phone number._

Eren followed the car with his eyes as Levi drove off.

Then walked face first into the door.

"Eren's home!"

"Hi Mikasa! Hi Armin!"

"So. You were out late."

"Yeahhh... Commander Handsome said that he wanted to talk tonight when he had more information. I think I mentioned that it was going to be tonight?"

"You've been seeing a lot of them, haven't you?" Mikasa's eyes narrowed as she watched him.

"It turns out that I'm actually involved in all of this. As in _me_, Eren Jaeger. I'm apparently the person that the Titans want to capture... the Military Police as well, but they aren't as worried about them since they just had once person following me and according to Levi, he's pretty incompetent."

"I'm sorry, but that the _hell_is going on here?"

"Mikasa, just calm down for two seconds." He held up his hands defensively and backed away from his sister's glare. "I'm going to go get a drink and then I'll tell you guys what's going on. Armin, I want you to listen but I don't think you should record this, okay?"

Eren took Mikasa's lack of protest as permission to take a moment to grab something from the kitchen and take a moment to think. He downed a glass of water quickly and then started up a pot of coffee. He had a feeling that this was going to be a long conversation.

_They both need to hear this, but I'm not sure how comfortable I am talking about the whole situation. Pretty much anything personal is off-limits, actually anything involving Levi beyond "he's going to be shadowing me" is off-limits. Wait, should I even tell Mikasa that? I mean, she'll freak if she knows that people are watching us, but then again they're watching to keep me safe so... I don't even know how that's going to go over. And dad, Grisha; he's involved. At least she never really thought of him as 'dad' the way that she thought of mom._

He scuffed his foot on the floor repeatedly as he bit his lip, trying to figure out what needed to be said and how to word it. He hadn't been given too much information, but the more he turned it over the more he realized that knowing just the smallest bit was dangerous _because_they didn't know enough.

The coffee machine clicked off.

_I guess this is going to be it._

Eren walked back into the living room with a large mug of coffee. Mikasa was sitting up and one of the tablets was propped up and had Armin's face displayed on it.

"Answers. Now."

"Jeez, Mikasa. So you know that I was with the Survey Corps tonight? I mentioned that, didn't I?"

"Yes, you did." She was still watching him skeptically.

"Okay well Hanji – um, Dr. Scientist came to pick me up from the bio lab building and we drove over to their headquarters." _And someone was definitely watching me._"I talked with Erwin and it was frustrating because they really don't have any solid leads beyond dad – _Grisha_being somehow involved. He didn't say _how_though, only that they think it might have to do with him. Commander Handsome wants me to try and think back and see what I can remember about him.

"Also apparently it's not just the Titans who are after me now, somehow the Military Police are involved in this. Commander Handsome said that they want me for the same reason that the Titans want me, but... I don't know if _they_know why the Titans want me either. They might just want me because the Titans want me."

_Because that didn't sound confusing as fuck_at all _. Yeah, I understand everything, Erwin. Don't bother explaining anything to me._

"So nobody really knows what's going on?" Mikasa was staring at him incredulously. "You haven't found out anything except that Grisha might be involved?"

"And that the Military Police are also following me, though I actually sort-of found that out last night."

"What do you mean that you 'sort-of found out' last night." _Of course she zeroes in on that._

"Well I was walking back from Connie's and there was someone following me."

"_Someone was following you?_Eren, what the hell? If you were being followed you need to tell me. I could have at least walked the few blocks to meet you!"

"No, it was totally fine! Commander had Levi shadowing me so he showed up and the guy left and –" _and he walked me home and I really wanted to kiss him and I am_so _not getting into that right now._"– well, it all worked out so it's fine. I didn't mention it because nothing happened and it was late."

_Nice save, Jaeger._

"So the Survey Corps has someone shadowing you? I can't say that I like that, but at least _someone_is watching out for you while I can't. I wish it were someone who we already knew though..."

"Mikasa, they're the _Survey Corps_. Do you really not trust them?"

"Hmph. I don't know any of them... Which one is Levi again?"

_The one I'd really like to have fuck me over the table._

"...The Hawk."

"_He's_the one they have shadowing you? T hey're all weirdos but really? _Him?_"

"I mean, he _is_the one who has the best hearing and sight and who usually works at night anyway so it makes sense for him to be the one that they would have watching me at night." _And I can think of some really effective ways for him to watch me._

"He's an asshole. Everybody hates bumping into him."

"I mean yeah, he is kind of a jerk." _Boy is he ever..._"But he's good at what he does and he protected me last night and I think he's honestly an okay-if-asshole-ish guy."

Eren and Mikasa started an impromptu and unspoken staring contest to decide who was correct in their assessment of Levi's personality.

They were jerked out of their staring contest by Armin's voice.

"Eren? Commander Handsome said that your dad might somehow be involved?"

"Yeah, he said _Grisha_was probably related to this somehow."

"I'm going to look into this more and see if there's any information that they might have overlooked."

"Go for it. I'm pretty sure that they weren't telling me everything anyway. Commander clearly doesn't like to show all of his cards unless he has to."_Well that came out more bitter than I wanted it to._"...just make sure you do it carefully. I think that they're not telling me everything because they're trying to keep me safe, but I don't see how not knowing about _Grisha –_" he grit his teeth "– will keep me safe at all."

"Alright, Eren. I'll make sure that I'm careful. I'll destroy full recordings of this conversation from my memory banks in a few moments."

"Thanks, Armin."

"Eren, I hope you know what you're doing. Or at least, what you _think_you're doing."

"Yeah. Me too."


	25. 25: Asshole McFuckface

If there was one thing that Eren disliked about being in his final year of college it was that four days out of the week his classes started before eleven o'clock in the morning. It could have been worse though; Horseface had early morning classes every day of the school week. Eren considered it to be the universe's way of punishing him for being such an ass.

His alarm had been going off for for a while now but he just couldn't find the energy to get up and walk across the room. He had thought it would be a good idea since it would force him out of bed to turn it off, but right now the urge to roll over and hopefully sleep through the obnoxious noise was overwhelming. Unfortunately he wasn't capable of sleeping through the racket that his alarm clock was making so he had to give up and walk over to turn it off. Grumbling about early mornings he grabbed his phone to check his email.

_I have a text from an unknown contact? What the heck? Would have my number?_

**[Unknown:]** Eren, it's Hanji! Add me to your contacts and don't get kidnapped on the way to class!

_Haha. Very funny. Wait. That means that I have Levi's number as well._

He scrolled through his contacts to see whether he had put himself under "The Hawk" or "Levi" in his contacts list... or neither. Eren went back up to the top of his contacts list and started scrolling down again and tried to figure out what name he might have entered his number under. He ended up finding it with his 'D' contacts.

**[Don't fucking call unless you need to]**

_Fucking fantastic, Levi. Real mature. Like I was going to call you for no reason . Do you really need to be that much of an asshole? I get it, you've made it really fucking clear that you find me just above tolerable but... Argh! He was trying to be nice last night and offered self-defense lessons and just. Ugh. I don't_get _him. What's his fucking_deal _or whatever?_

He spent a little too much time glaring at his phone before realizing that he was going to be running late if he didn't start getting ready. He practically sprinted to the kitchen to get the coffee machine going before hopping into the shower. Showered and dressed he went back to the kitchen to fill up his travel mug. Before heading out he considered breakfast for a moment and but realized that they didn't have anything he could eat easily while walking and food wasn't allowed in the labs.

_One of these days I'll have a real breakfast during the week._

"Dude, you haven't really been around much. What's been up? You totally blew us off last night. We always get together and watch bad action movies on Monday nights."

"Sorry. I've been busy."

"With what? You've been so out of it, even the other night you kept going off somewhere in your head."

"I've just had a lot of shit going on, Connie. Like, hero shit."

"What!? And you haven't told us anything? Man, you've gotta tell me what's going on. Sasha got back a few hours ago and is napping, so I was thinking we should go out to China Buffet to celebrate. Mikasa should come with us too, I mean... I know she's still out on injury but going out for a few hours won't kill her, will it?"

"That's kind of the issue. She would probably love to come out to dinner with us, but I don't know that she's healed enough yet. I'll talk to Armin and if he says that she's good then I'll tell her we're going out to dinner."

"And if she isn't?"

"I'll probably just stay in with her. I'd love to see Sasha, but..."

"She's your sister. Dude, I totally get it. Just don't fall off the face of the Earth, let us know what's up, yeah? We'll go out early so that Ymir and Historia can come with us as well. It's been ages since we've all gone out together."

"Yeah, it really has. Let's do this! I'll bring Mikasa even if Armin isn't thrilled about it. She needs to get out and what the hell could happen at _China Buffet_ that would be bad? Eating too much? Too heavy of a plate? I think she'll be fine."

"Okay, man. I'll text you when I know what time."

"Later!"

Connie jogged off in the direction of his apartment and Eren walked off in the direction of the café just off-campus.

_Finally going to get some food. Seriously, I know that it's my last year but do the labs have to be so damn long? I thought I was going to pass out from hunger. This must be how Sasha feels all the time. How does she even eat that much? And how has China Buffet not banned her yet?_

He walked out of the shop with a drink and a pastry, heading towards one of the outdoor tables to soak up the sun before his next class. His phone buzzed in his pocket.

**[Connie:]** sasha just woke up she says food around five?

**[Eren:]** should work. i get out of class at 4 15. meet at your place?

**[Connie:]** yep

He continued to fiddle with his phone for a bit longer when he remembered that Levi was still in his phone as "Don't fucking call me unless you need to."

_I should change it to something less stupid. Do I change it to "The Hawk"? Probably not since that kinda blows his cover a bit, but it seems weird to put him in my phone as "Levi" since that's his actual name or secret identity or whatever. Or at least I'm pretty sure it is since the rest of the Survey Corps call him that. Fuck, what do I change it to?_

Eren glared at the contact name, his eyebrows drawing closer and closer together as he tried to figure out what to change the name to when he was struck by the urge to be just as much of a jerk as Levi had been to him.

_I hope he needs to borrow my phone at some point or sees this somehow._

**[Contact name changed: Asshole McFuckface]**

_I am_so _done with being looked at like some stupid fanboy. If he really wants to be an ass to me then I'm throwing it right the fuck back at him. I'm sick and tired of this bullshit and he is going to stop treating me like a little kid. I'm an adult and I can make my own stupid fucking decisions and I have fucking had it with your passive-aggressive attempts to get me to back off and leave you alone. You know that I like you so do me the fucking courtesy of turning me down rather than just being an ass to me and hoping I'll just disappear._

_It's_on_. You're going to teach me to fight and I'm going to win._

_Let the games begin, Levi._


	26. 26: Homecoming

"How have they not banned you yet?"

"You know what? I really don't know. I guess it's because I'm such a good customer!"

"Sasha, you eat so much more than twenty dollars of food whenever you're here. I'm not sure that qualifies as being a 'good customer' since they lose money every time you come here."

"Yeah, but you guys always come with me and there's no way you're eating your fill. I can't believe that we live together, Connie. You don't appreciate food enough."

"Dude, I appreciate food just fine!"

Eren watched the two of them argue good naturedly over the need to appreciate food. If there was anyone who could appreciate food it was Sasha. He could still remember the time that she had brought baked potatoes into Shadis' class. Her subsequent nickname of 'Potato Girl' only lasted until they found out that a) growing up, her father was too proud to accept food stamps and b) she was an expert marksman with a bow and had grown up hunting. The first bought her sympathy, the second made them fear her retribution. Eren could also say that he admired that she managed to attend college while continuing her hero work.

Mikasa hadn't even bothered applying to schools since she felt her calling was in protecting and defending the weak. Krista had dropped out halfway through her second year after having an extended identity crisis and as far as Eren knew, Ymir had never bothered with college either. Then again, all that he really knew about Ymir was that she and Krista had known each other since before Krista came to Trost and that while she could be bitchy and obnoxious, she was absolutely devoted to her 'goddess.' He and the others assumed that they were dating, but they never did anything like kissing in public and nobody bothered to ask; it didn't matter and it didn't change anything. Regardless of their relationship being romantic or platonic, they were joined at the hip.

"Guys, we haven't all hung out together – all of us – in over a month... I've missed you."

"Are you going to start crying and getting all mushy on us?"

"Shut up, Horseface!"

"Do we really have to do this every time? I just got back, can you two just calm down?"

"At least it's not as bad as the other night. Jesus, Eren... I haven't seen you flip out that badly since sophomore year. Are you okay? You said something about hero shit earlier?"

_Oh fuck. Why did Connie have to remember that now?_

Everyone turned to look at Mikasa.

"Oh no, don't look at me. This is entirely his mess."

"Seriously!?"

"Eren, please tell us. We might be able to help."

"Aww. Of course Freckled Jesus wants to help!" Ymir was smirking at him and threw her arm around Krista who shrugged her arm off and glared at her.

_This is exactly why I didn't want this to come up with everyone here and especially not out in public. Who the hell knows who's hanging around right now? Either the Titans or the Military Police could have someone following me right now and just... great, now I'm getting all paranoid about everything._

"Hey, guys?" Eren spoke up and tried to grab everyone's attention. When he had it, he continued on in a lower voice. "I'll tell you what's going on, but it's kinda big and I really don't want to talk about it in public. When we get back to Connie and Sasha's place we can talk, but right now... I'd really prefer not to."

_Great and now everyone is looking at me like I'm crazy._

"Eren... what the hell did you get yourself into?"

"Holy crap! Freckled Jesus cursed."

"Stop it, Ymir!"

They all started out of China Buffet together. Walking towards Connie's apartment, Ymir slung her arm over Krista's shoulders which Krista rolled her eyes at but left her arm there. Marco was talking with Sasha while Connie and Jean argued about a game called "Wall Attack" that he'd never heard of. Mikasa walked silently along side him, glancing at him every few moments trying to gauge how he was feeling.

"You don't need to tell them. They might be safer not knowing."

"Yeah, but if they don't know that something big is happening then they might get caught up in it without realizing it."

Mikasa sighed and shook her head.

"I'll trust you on this."

Eren was about to respond when his phone buzzed in his pocket.

**[Asshole McFuckface:**] Brat, if you're free tomorrow afternoon I'll teach you how to not die.

He grinned at the message, he'd forgotten about the name change for a moment.

**[Eren:]** yea. i'm off class at 2pm. that work?

**[Asshole McFuckface:]** Of course you wouldn't use proper capitalization.

**[Eren:]**sorry, but i'm not an old man.

He didn't get a response back after that.

_He texted me first._

His grin got even wider.


	27. 27: Storytime

"Uh... Dude, we've been sitting here in dead silence for ten minutes now. You said that you had something to tell us."

"It's getting dark, Krista and I have to be on-patrol in half an hour."

"I'm sorry guys, it's just kind of... _big_."

Mikasa put her hand over his and he met her eyes. He could see her concern for him and for what this could mean for their friends. Telling them this, having them know would change a lot of things. He realized that yes, he wanted to tell them about everything because he needed to unburden himself but Sahsa, Krista and Ymir all ran the risk of running into the Titans anyway. Erwin had said that it was likely that they were moving into this area as well and the last thing he wanted was for one of his friends to try and engage with them without knowing what they were up against.

Eren took a deep breath.

"I already told Marco, Connie and Jean a little bit about this the other night." He nodded in their direction and continued. "But there's more to it now. To catch up the rest of you, a few nights ago I was kidnapped and Mikasa was attacked and nearly killed."

Sasha inhaled sharply while Krista's eyes widened and Ymir's narrowed. Mikasa moved her hand to her scarf which she had tied around her neck and face more than usual. Pulling it away, she revealed the neck brace that she was wearing.

"I was hit from behind and my neck was nearly fractured."

Everyone sat as though made of petrified wood.

"A-anyway, I was kidnapped by these three people who were a part of a group called the Titans and brought somewhere in the warehouse district. I ended up getting accidentally rescued by two members of the Survey Corps –"

"The Survey Corps!?" Sasha's exclamation made Eren recoil at the volume.

"Yeah. They were tracking them down anyway and they happened to show up and they freed me."

"So you got to see them in action?"

"That's so cool, Eren!"

"Man, you're lucky!"

"Oooh. Was it Commander Handsome?"

"No! No, it wasn't. It was Dr. Scientist and The Hawk."

"That asshole rescued you?" Ymir was looking at him skeptically.

"Well, um. Dr. Scientist was the one who ended up untying me and they gave me a ride home."

"No shit, Jaeger? You're one fucking lucky guy, even if you did meet the freak and the asshole."

"Dr. Scientist isn't a freak! They're really nice and The Hawk isn't... well, he isn't _awful_."

"Uh huh. Sure thing, you're just glad that you got the chance to breathe the same air as your idol."

"Fuck off, Horseface."

"Can we get back to what Eren was saying? I'd really like to go home and get some sleep and what he has to tell you is pretty important." Mikasa was starting to get grumpy at the interruptions.

Taking their silence as an assent to let him speak, Eren continued.

"So anyway, I went back the next day because -" t_hey don't need to know every detail_ "- Commander Handsome wanted to talk with me about what I might have seen or heard while I was there and see if I could give them any useful information. They didn't really talk much while I was there, but anyway. He said that he wanted me to come back because he thought that there might be something else so um... I went back and it turns out that the Titans were probably actually after me and that Mikasa has nothing to do with it. Or, more accurately... something to do with _Grisha_" Eren's face contorted with anger "which apparently means me as well."

Everyone's eyes were on him, he could feel their stares searing into him. The intensity of their gazes was making him uncomfortable and he shifted repeatedly in his seat, waiting for someone to say something since he was completely without words to continue. Connie and Jean were looked like they had been poleaxed while Marco's face was awash in concern. Sasha's mouth hung open as though he jaw had come unhinged. Krista's look was somewhat blank while Ymir's jaw was locked and her face taut. Nobody was speaking or seemed capable of speech for the time being.

"I'm not sure if you knowing this will put you in a lot of danger, but I thought that it would be best if you did know. Especially if you're going to be out on the streets doing hero work. The Titans all wear these grotesque masks with human-like features. They're completely human and as far as I know, none of them have any special abilities or powers, but you should be careful... I don't want any of you getting hurt because of me."

"If we see anyone like that, we'll avoid them. Does that sound okay to you, Ymir?"

"As long as that's what you want." Krista nodded her head slowly.

"So we're just going to avoid getting tangled up with these guys? What if they do something serious? I'm not about to turn a blind eye to them hurting someone or stealing something just because of this. Eren, please tell me that you aren't actually asking this of us? Are you asking us to abandon our duty to the people we protect because there's a new – and potentially dangerous – group on the streets? We already deal with the Military Police and the Stationary Guard and their turf wars. We can't let this be. I can't let this be."

"Sasha..."

"I'll be careful and I'm not going to lie, they probably are terrifying and dangerous because we know next to nothing about them, but we can't just let it go because we want to keep ourselves safe."

They all lapsed into silence again.

"I didn't tell you about them so that you would avoid them. I told all of you so that you know what's going on and what the risks are _if_ you have to confront them."

"Alright," Sasha's voice was less distressed now "I'm just really tired right now, I think I'm going to go to bed."

Sasha got up and stretched before walking back towards her room. Krista and Ymir excused themselves so that they could get their gear before going out on patrol. Marco and Jean got up to leave as well. Everyone drifted their own ways in silence, he and Mikasa were also quiet as they walked back to their apartment. There was a certain melancholy in the air.

_It's not that Sasha's wrong. What would be wrong is to let them go just because they're this scary unknown if they're hurting people, but I don't want anyone to get hurt because of me. This is clearly a mess that's going to affect the people who I care about simply because I know them. I wish I had better options right now._

He continued to walk along in silence. He could feel that someone was watching and whoever they were, they were very good. He looked up to the roofs and into the alleys, but he couldn't catch a single sound or shift in the shadows. What was puzzling to him was that Mikasa didn't seem to notice. If she did, then she would almost certainly be in protective mode by now.

_Maybe she's already caught who they are and they aren't a threat._

Eren looked around again.

"What are you looking for, Eren?"

"Nothing. It's nothing. I just... I feel like someone's watching us."

"What?" Mikasa's eyebrows had raised up to the point where they were invisible under her hair. "I don't hear or see anything. Are you sure you aren't being paranoid?"

"Maybe? The back of my neck has been all goosebumps since we left Connie and Sasha's place."

"Well let's walk a bit faster, we're only a block from home. Hopefully – if it _is_ anybody – it's just one of your freaky new friends from the Survey Corps."

Once they were home, Mikasa went directly to take a shower to hopefully loosen up her back muscles with the hot water. Eren had been annoyed that she hadn't mentioned that she was hurting while they were out; he would have cut it short otherwise, maybe saved talking about the Titans for tomorrow. He needed to finish the labs that were due the next day and began to work on them while chatting casually with Armin about a recent science journal article on the longevity of whales.

Even though talking with Armin was relaxing, the vestiges of discomfort remained.

**[Eren:]** was anybody following me tonight?

He paused, holding his breath and hoping for a response. While he was waiting he turned back to his lab and continued to work on it. He didn't receive a reply until he was getting into bed.

**[Hanji:]** Nope. Why? Did you miss me? (^_^)

**[Eren:]** i just thought i felt someone watching when i was walking back tonight

**[Hanji:]** Well it definitely wasn't me, I'll ask Mike and Levi. I haven't seen them tonight so maybe it was one of them.

**[Eren:]**thanks hanji

**[Hanji:]** Don't worry about it!

Elsewhere, Hanji turned to the three men sitting at the table with them.

"Somebody was following Eren tonight."


	28. 28: Late Night, Long Day

"So we're sure he doesn't have some sort of hyper-sensory powers?"

"He hasn't reacted to anything as though he does. Levi and Mike, you guys have more experience with this. You haven't seen him react to anything stronger than someone else, have you?"

"Not that I've noticed, though I can't say that I've seen much of him."

"You're shitting me, right? The kid doesn't have any special powers, he's been getting chased down and kidnapped for years. He probably can't explain how he knows that he's being watched, he's doing it subconsciously at this point."

"That's even more impressive. If he was the one reaching out to us, then I don't think Red Scarf noticed either."

"You develop survival skills because you need them."

"It's unfortunate that they didn't seem to work when he ran into the Titans. Though we wouldn't be as well informed – if you can call it that – as we are now if it weren't for his involvement."

"I'm sure the kid's thrilled to contribute."

"We really need to figure out who was out there tonight."

"It might just be the Military Police goon from the other night."

"He noticed them the other night, if he had to ask Hanji whether one of us was there then he didn't see them. Whoever was there is better at their job."

"How do you want us to continue, Erwin?"

Erwin looked down at the papers in his hand, only a sliver of their leads filled up a sheaf of paper that required both hands' attention. They were drowning in information that didn't approach concrete in even the most remote sense. They had one solid lead and his name was Eren Jaeger and he may or may not be under close surveillance by one or more groups of criminals.

"Hanji and Mike, go over and see what you can find. Levi, stay here and help me go over some of this to see what's worth pursuing."

Eren woke up with a crick in his neck from falling asleep at his desk. He flailed his arm blindly, trying to figure out where his alarm clock was so that he could turn it off. He had been working on his labs until he could see the sky beginning to lighten. The pain in his neck and exhaustion in his limbs were his penance for leaving a major lab report go until the night before, never mind that it had been assigned a week prior.

_At least Mikasa can't really get on my ass about it this time, I've spent half a week up to my eyes in hero bullshit and it's not like I can request an extension on the deadline because my sister is Red Scarf and I get kidnapped a lot and now I'm bang in the middle of some sort of fucked up criminal conspiracy. If there is one thing that I hate about this it's that I can't use it as an excuse in the normal world even if all of the villains know who Red Scarf is and who I am. This is such utter bullshit._

Eren looked at his phone to check the time and noticed that he had an unread text message from a few hours prior.

**[Asshole McFuckface:]** Don't fucking forget that I'm teaching you not to get killed today at 2pm.

_Thanks, Levi. You're as eloquent as ever. Why the hell did I say 2pm though? I have class straight through until quarter of two. Shit, I guess I'm eating something quick before we meet up. Wait, where the hell are we meeting?_

**[Eren:]**how could i forget about meeting up with an old man? where are we meeting? i have class until quarter of.

He hadn't received a response by the time he was leaving for class. In retrospect, he remembered that it was eight in the morning and if Levi was out all night he might still be sleeping. As he continued to get ready, Eren realized that he didn't really know anything about any of the Survey Corp members' secret identities when it came to things like jobs. Living with Mikasa, he knew that hero work didn't pay that well (or at all, depending). She picked up some hours at the café that he went to near campus, but Eren had lucked out and got a paying position at the bio lab and had a small stipend that the university gave to their students in the STEM fields. He supposed it was their way of saying "sorry we're taking making you get up early for class, stay late in the labs, and devote your life to homework." Red Scarf was also well-known enough that Mikasa would end up getting paid by some of the people she helped; usually shops that were the victims of robberies since it was cheaper to pay the hero who stopped the robbery than to file a police report and watch their insurance skyrocket.

Eren could hazard a guess that Hanji did pretty much the same work whether they were Hanji or Dr. Scientist. They didn't seem like someone who would take a boring job just because it was easy and worked with their life as a superhero. He couldn't imagine what the secret identities of the other three would be.

_Maybe Commander Handsome comes from some old, wealthy family and that pays for all of their work and none of them have day jobs. That seems like it would be the case and I really can't imagine Levi having any sort of normal job. At least not one that requires him to interact with people. Or maybe he's really good at being nice when required to for his job._

Eren amused himself for the remainder of the morning trying to figure out what job Levi could possibly work where his personality wouldn't get him fired right away. He felt his phone buzz as he was going into his last class of the day.

**[Asshole McFuckface:]**What building is your last class in? I'll meet you outside.

**[Eren:]**wilson biosciences, i usually take the exit facing the street. meeting me because you're worried i'm going to get kidnapped?

**[Asshole McFuckface:]**Yes.

_Is he being serious? What the hell could possibly happen to me between class and leaving the damn building? I mean, I'm glad that he's meeting me here and I don't have to take the bus, but does he really not trust me to walk a block or two to meet him off-campus somewhere or at my apartment._

_Wait, does that mean he's going to be unmasked?_

**_._**

**If you aren't familiar with it: STEM stands for Sciences, Technology, Engineering and Math. I couldn't figure out a non-awkward way to word that sentence without using the acronym.**


	29. 29: Unmasked

Eren wasn't entirely sure if he was supposed to be looking for the Survey Corps car or Levi himself. He couldn't imagine that Levi would show up in uniform, and street clothes with a mask seemed downright odd. The prospect of fully seeing Levi's face had his stomach doing flips.

_I already know that his body is fucking gorgeous (even if he is really short) and even with the mask, I can tell that he's pretty handsome too. Maybe not traditional "Captain America" looks like Commander Handsome, but definitely good looking._

He waited for his eyes to adjust to the sudden change in brightness as he stepped out of the building and shaded his eyes to look for Levi. His eyes settled on a shorter figure in jeans and a dark blue zip-up hoodie. He would have been more certain as too the identity of the person if they hadn't also had a baseball cap drawn down down low to cover their eyes and part of their face.

_So either that's Levi or someone who wants me to think that they're Levi and is going to grab me and drag me off to who-the-fuck-knows-where._

**[Eren:]** are you the person in the baseball cap? i can't tell if it's you.

He watched as the person in the cap pulled out their phone.

**[Asshole McFuckface:]** What the fuck? Who else would it be?

**[Eren:]** titan, mp, some crazy person. i have every right to be paranoid rn.

With Levi' s identity confirmed, Eren started walking towards the other man and a few moments later they were standing face to face. Eren couldn't see his face particularly well, but he thought he could see a bit of a smirk hidden under the shadow cast by the cap.

"I guess your instincts for self-preservation aren't complete shit. Good to know I'm not starting from square one."

"Fuck off, I haven't died yet."

Eren jumped slightly as Levi let out a bark of laughter, or at least he thought it was a laugh. He followed after him as he began to walk away.

"Awfully mouthy today, aren't we? Bad grade on an exam?"

"No. I've just had it with you being an asshole to me."

"Save your energy for fighting."

"Um... can we stop for food or something? I've had classes pretty much straight through since nine o'clock in the morning."

"Are you shitting me? Why did you say two if your day is so busy? It's not worth it if you're going to be tired."

"I'm not tired! I just want to get some lunch."

Levi turned around quickly to face him. Eren still couldn't see his face fully, but he could feel Levi's glare on him.

"There's a cafe I usually go to. It's just a block that way. The lunch rush should be over so I can just grab something quick..."

"Fine. Lead on, brat."

"I _can_ walk myself. It's not like anything is going to happen between now and getting a sandwich."

"You really have no idea what you walked into, do you?"

"Well it's not like any of you are explaining it to me."

"Just get your damn sandwich so we can go."

Levi had made Eren eat his sandwich outside of the car before leaving. It turned out that he was even more fastidious with his own car than the Survey Corps one. This amused Eren to no end since his car was a fairly beat up Honda Civic that was at least ten years old. The outside wasn't in the best condition, but the interior was spotless. He could also see that Hanji had made some tweaks inside of the car as well.

"So... why the old car?"

"Why not? It still runs and it doesn't stand out. I would think a broke-ass college kid could understand that."

"I don't have a license."

"What the hell? Seriously?"

"I've never needed one. I've always lived in cities."

Levi snorted derisively in response and continued driving. Eren was beginning to feel uncomfortable with the silence as they drove. There was something about being in Levi's own car that was making him tense up. He knew that it was just a car, but it felt more personal than being picked up in the Survey Corps car. Eren shifted uncomfortably as he tried to think of a topic to break the silence.

"So why did you pick me up in your car?"

"Hanji and Mike are out doing recon work, they need all the special kit in that one."

"Oh." _Well that was a super involved conversation._

"We're here."

They had parked in front of a nondescript old factory that looked like it was starting to crumble into the ground. Levi was already out of the car and walking towards the building by the time Eren's brain caught up and he started getting out of the car. For him, old factories and warehouses were related to kidnappings. It seemed like whenever somebody would grab him, nine times out of ten he ended up in one of the many abandoned and deteriorating buildings that were a relic of Trost's industrial past. They were fewer and farther between now than a few years ago; buildings that were unsound were being demolished to make way for new shops and apartments and the buildings that could be saved were being converted into h omes for the wealthy . Over the years, parts of the city had bec o me less and less familiar to Eren. A neighborhood like the one they were standing in now had been common; now you had to go to North Shore or the southwestern border tucked in the shadow of the old palisades.

_T__imes change, I guess. I wonder where I'm going to get tossed to for safekeeping from now on. Maybe crappy old apartments like the other night, or maybe not anywhere anymore... I know I'm not going to be unbeatable just because Levi is going to work with me, but maybe I'll be able to_not_get kidnapped the next time someone has a mind to grab me._

"Oi, Eren!" Levi's figure had turned back around towards him while he was lost in his own thoughts. His face was still shaded by the cap but his tone conveyed enough that Eren could guess that he was annoyed that they were just standing there. He quickly jogged up the steps that Levi was standing at the top of, waiting while Levi unlocked the padlock from the bolt across the door.

"So what is this place? It looked ready to collapse outside but it isn't even all that dusty in here?"

"We use it to store some of our larger gear and just larger things in general. Hanji also does some of their tinkering here."

"It's a little bit far from your headquarters, isn't it?"

"Unlike some people, we're adults who have drivers' licenses."

E ren groaned and pushed the heels of his palms into his eyes. _I should never have said anything. I will admit that it is stupid though, not having a license sucks but also who the hell is going to teach me? Mikasa doesn't drive. Maybe Levi would teach me...?_

"We're heading upstairs. The windows aren't covered up there so there's actual light."

"So... why are we here?"

"Can you think of another place that we could practice sparring where there's this much open space and that also isn't out in the open?"

"Okay, fine. Can you take the hat off, though? It's really weird."

"I didn't bring a mask, so no."

"What the hell? I've seen everyone else's face."

"Commander Handsome doesn't count. He does that idiotic Clark Kent thing with the glasses."

"_Fine._ I've seen Hanji and Mike without their masks."

L evi was facing him with his arms crossed tightly over his chest a nd his left hip cocked slightly to the side . He could tell by the tension in the partof his face that he could see that Levi was getting annoyed.

"Fine." He pulled the cap back and dragged a hand through his hair to straighten it after spending time under a hat. "Happy now?"

Eren was only semi-aware that he was staring intently at Levi. He had already known that he found the man attractive even without being able to see his entire face, but it still hit him like a ton of bricks. He thought that it was probably partially the result of knowing how important a superhero's secret identity was and the fact that – all things considered – Levi had given in to completely uncovering his face with minimal resistance.

"Are you done staring?"

"Y-yeah. You... it's different, um. Okay, what are we doing?"

_Fantastic. How am I supposed to concentrate now?_


	30. 30: Blow for Blow

"Show me what you've got."

"What...?"

"Attack me. I won't fight back, I'll just defend myself. Show me what you can do."

_Okay, I just need to try and fight him. Pretend he's one of the many, many people who've tried to kidnap me or maybe even Horseface. But also it's_Levi _and why does he have to be so fucking attractive. It's fucking distracting. Maybe I shouldn't have asked him to take the cap off. Dammit._

"Come on, kid. Do something already."

Eren threw a punch at Levi which he swatted away easily.

"Don't just fucking stand there. Bend your knees, put your weight into it. I thought you said you got into fights when you were in high school. You must have lost all of them if you were just standing there like that."

He took a better fighting stance and went to punch Levi again, but he never connected. Levi had back ed away and Eren's fist sailed through the air a foot away from him.

"Do you really expect your opponent to just stand there and take it? Move!"

"Fuck off, Levi." Eren grit his teeth and started moving along with Levi, trying to land a blow. Every time he was either blocked or missed entirely because Levi moved away faster.

Eren was getting angry at his inability to make contact with Levi. He had started out with the intention of seeing what the kid could do, but it had become clear that his anger and frustration were just making him sloppy.

_For fuck's sake, kid..._ Levi dodged away again. _What the hell are you going to do if you find yourself in an actual fight?_ He blocked and then dodged the next attempt at landing a hit.

"Do you really expect your opponent to just stand there and take it?" _You're a sitting duck, kid._ "Move!"

"Fuck off, Levi." Another dodge away. "Aren't I supposed to be learning to defend myself _against_ someone?"

_Fine._

Levi didn't move this time.

When Eren went to hit him again he hit his arm away and swung his own fist straight at him. Eren staggered back, his lip was split and he was definitely going to have some bruising on the left side of his face. He stared at Levi.

And then he erupted.

_Good, there's that fire._

He wasn't just letting Levi block him and move away from him anymore. His blows were almost connecting. He was following Levi as he moved, but it wasn't a chase anymore. They were moving in tandem as he lashed out at Levi and was endlessly blocked. Few of his punches ended up sailing through the air and connecting with nothing now, but Levi could tell that he was still holding back.

_Not bad, kid but you shouldn't need someone to hit you before you're motivated to defend yourself. Nobody is going to give you that courtesy. Put everything you've got into defending yourself._

"Don't fucking hold back."

Eren landed a blow to Levi's side.

Levi braced himself for another blow that never came. The kid had frozen up in front of him with a look of shock on his face, he looked like he was on the verge of apologizing.

_What. The. Fuck._

He swung back at Eren and hit him square in the gut and he doubled over in pain, gripping where he had been hit.

"I told you not to fucking hold back." Another blow to the side of his face.

_This isn't a fucking game, kid. If someone is going to try and get to you, they aren't going to hold back and you shouldn't either. You don't fucking know who you're going to be up against. What the hell happens if it turns out that someone you know is one of the Titans? What fucking then, kid?_

Eren had been shocked when Levi first hit him. He could taste the blood in his mouth from the cut on his lip and the throb on his face where he knew a bruise would bloom in the next few hours. He stared at Levi as he backed away slightly to catch his breath.

_What the fuck Levi? Jesus, fine. Fuck this shit. Fuck you. This is bullshit and I've had it. I know you're goading me into this, but if you want to have a fight, we'll have a fucking fight._

Not being able to hit him didn't seem as frustrating now since he was moving closely enough that he was no longer punching thin air. Levi was leading him on a dance around the room, but it wasn't a chase; it felt organic, intimate. He saw a slight opening in Levi's defense and took it, the blow that he delivered was harder than he had been anticipating. He froze up for a moment at the quiet grunt that made it past Levi's lips.

_Shit, I didn't mean to hit him that hard. I don't even_want _to hit him._

Suddenly he was bent all the way forward, gripping his side and in pain.

_What the fuck, Levi? What was that for? Were you really so pissed about getting hit that you had to lash out like that?__What happened to just defending yourself so you could see what I'm capable of?_

"I told you not to fucking hold back."

And then he stumbled as Levi landed another punch to the left side of his head again, this time making him stagger in confusion and pain rather than angering him into action.

Eren continued to stand there, breathing heavily through his mouth and tasting blood. His body was still bowed forward, protecting his midsection and he sank onto his knees to rest. Eren looked up at Levi through the hair that had fallen in front of his eyes. His face remained impassive but Eren swore that he could see anger in his eyes and in the way his jaw was set. Even when he was angry and sweaty, Eren thought that Levi was beautiful. In spite of the fact that he was in pain and could taste blood, he couldn't help but think about another situation that would also have Levi sweaty and breathing heavily in front of him. There wouldn't be any blood in that situation.

"What if someone you know is one of the Titans?" Levi's voice was loud and he was gritting his teeth in anger. "What then?"

_Oh._

"Sorry, I just... it's just that I know you and I also know that you're The Hawk so my brain keeps going 'he's one of the good guys so why are we fighting?' and I know you and I know you aren't actually trying to hurt me really... It's kind of a mess, I know."

Levi frowned and sighed before offering him a hand to help him stand back up.

"Well you're going to have to get used to it."

Eren felt his stomach flip as Levi gripped his hand and helped him up. They were standing in close proximity now and Eren couldn't help his eyes wandering over Levi's face, tracing every inch with his gaze. He couldn't tell his eye color since he wasn't looking directly at him so he began to commit every other detail to memory. He found himself staring at his lips, wondering what they felt like. He began to dip his head closer subconsciously.

"And don't hold back just because of a fucking crush."

To him it was written plain as day what Eren was thinking about in that moment. He could see the dopey grin ready to come through the pain as he stared at him and he could see him slowly leaning down to him, his face flushed and his eyes fixed on his lips. He was more than a little fed up with the situation at this point.

_That's it. I'm fucking sick of this._

"And don't hold back just because of a fucking crush." The kid looked like he'd been slapped. "I didn't think I'd have to say anything since I thought it was pretty fucking clear that I'm not interested in having anything to do with a child."

_Don't do this to yourself, kid._


	31. 31: Explosions and Implosions

**There was some confusion over on AO3 about the previous chapter, so I ended up posting this gigantic clarification:**

**/Normally I would try to include this sort of exposition / explanation in the story itself, but I don't want to create any more confusion: It is a Big Deal for someone to voluntarily unmask themselves and an especially Big Deal for someone like Levi, not to mention that at this point Eren is virtually a stranger to him. So like, that is hella trust right there and would be hella distracting for Eren since his sister is a superhero and he has grown up within that weird little sub-culture and knows what's up. I think that got a bit lost in translation because of the shifting POV and I forgot that you guys aren't in my head and I'm super sorry about that. (-_-;)**

**One more note: I've been on Levi's side of the fence in situations like this and sometimes it does seem like a better idea to put distance between yourself and someone crushing on you rather than saying anything outright if they haven't said or done anything explicit so maybe you overdo it and you're a little too callous about their feelings and then shit gets fucked up later when you *do* have to say something. And yes, that is me copping to having been a really shitty person at points in my life./**

**.**

Dead, ringing silence.

"Oh, so _now_ you're going to bring it up?"

Not that Levi had been expecting tears or anything melodramatic, but indignant fury hadn't been on the list of expected reactions. He stood there in stunned silence.

"Fine. Let's do this. Do I think you're attractive? Yes. Was I a bit of a fanboy when we first met? Also yes. Do I want to do anything other than fuck you? No. Fuck, no. Not anymore. You're a stupidly attractive asshole and that's pretty much it. So yeah, you're distracting but then you go and say something like that and just wow."

Eren was glaring at Levi, his fists were tight and his jaw clenched and unclenched as Levi looked at him warily, waiting to see if he would continue.

"I'm sorry if I –" His stilted apology was cut off almost immediately.

"If you what? Lead me on?" Eren's temper flared back up. "Because you've been pretty fucking clear about the fact that you think I'm just a kid. And that would hurt a hell of a lot less if I wasn't twenty-one and hadn't been pretty much on my own except for my sister since I was fourteen. So stop fucking patronizing me."

The silence crashed into the void left by Eren's voice; his anger began to still. He watched as Levi slowly folded up into himself; crossing his arms in front of him, shoulders curling inwards, chin lowering towards his chest. He began to speak quietly.

"I'm sorry. However –" Levi sent Eren a sharp glare before he could say anything. "– you do need to take your own self-defense more seriously. Don't let anyone or anything distract you. Even if it is my stupidly attractive face." His lips curved up into a smirk at the final statement.

_You have got to be shitting me, Levi. That's really where you're going to take this right now? You call me out on my crush, I call you an asshole, you tell me I need to focus on defending myself?_

"You're a real asshole, you know that?"

"You aren't the first to say it." His tone was flat and affectless.

Eren half expected him to turn away and leave, but he stayed in place. They stared at on another, refusing to break eye contact; waiting for some unknown variable to shift before they could move. Their mutual feelings of discomfort fed one another and the tension heightened. The weight that settled around them was so thick and heavy that Eren imagined that he could feel every molecule of air that touched his skin. He wanted to stay angry, but mainly he just felt like leaving this behind. He had said more than he had wanted to say and he had the uncomfortable feeling that Levi might have let something slip as well, even if he couldn't put his finger on it right now. The tangible tension and discomfort was beginning to make the stillness of the air suffocating.

"Well this was completely unproductive." Levi eyes closed and he sighed heavily. "Let's get you home."

"So we're not going to actually talk about this at all?"

"You have a crush on me, I don't feel the same way. There's nothing to discuss." His words were clipped and precise, his tone sharp.

Eren could feel the frustration continuing to bubble hotly under his skin. _And somehow that means that there's nothing to discuss? Just because you don't feel the same way we can't discuss this? What the fuck, Levi?_

"And how the hell does that mean there's nothing to discuss?"

"I'm not going to change my mind regardless of what you have to say." Levi shrugged. "Is there something that you think we need to talk about?"

"Um… how is this going to work now?"

"How is _what_ going to work now?"

"We're going to be running into each other a lot…"

"Is that going to be an issue for you?" Levi's voice was cold and detached and somehow _wrong_. "It wouldn't be that much of an issue to have Hanji or Mike do the majority of shadowing you."

"And not see your stupidly attractive face?" Eren forced a grin and Levi rolled his eyes at him. When he couldn't keep the fake grin up anymore he let it drop and kept his face neutral. "It's fine, I'll live."

He watched as Levi's eyes swept across his face looking for something.

"Okay." Levi's brow furrowed. "We should go."

Eren was grateful that Mikasa was taking a nap when he returned home. He hadn't taken the opportunity to look at his face in the mirror when he was in the car for the dead silent ride back home but he could feel the stiffness in his jaw, the sharp soreness on his lip and the throbbing on his face from the blows that he had taken. It wasn't until he had put his bag in his room and started running the shower to heat up that he checked his injuries, making sure that there wasn't anything too awful. The bruises hadn't completely set in yet, but his lip had long since stopped bleeding and (in his opinion) it didn't look too horrible all things considered.

_At least the cut on my eyebrow is mostly healed. I'd really look like hell if I still had to have the butterfly bandages on it now and it looks like my lip scabbed over alright so I shouldn't need to do anything with that._He studied his face in the mirror a bit longer, further evaluating his injuries. _And the bruises should go down pretty quickly too. They're really not all that bad…_

He got into the shower and stepped under the stream of water, allowing the heat of the water to loosen up the tension in his shoulders and back.

_Actually, the bruises on my face should be a lot worse shouldn't they? Levi doesn't have super strength, but he's definitely stronger than a normal person would be._ Eren snorted and started massaging shampoo into his hair. _The joys of being a former fanboy; I get to have shit like that pop into my head. Fuck, it is weird to think about the fact that The Hawk and Levi are the same person. Superhero who protects people and beats up the bad guys, asshole who beats someone up because he thinks they aren't taking things seriously. At least I didn't end up like one of the Military Police thugs from that big drug bust last month. Some of them looked awful on the news and now I'm pretty fucking sure I know who did that. They looked like hamburger meat, at least I got off with just some bruises and a cut._ Eren let out a hollow laugh as he thought about how his injuries were "getting off easy." He paused with his hands still in his hair.

_Levi had to have been holding back against me. I got into fights in high school where I came out looking worse than this. So I guess he's not a_complete_asshole. Then again, Commander Handsome probably would have raked him over the coals if he had done any serious damage._

He kept his mind off of anything specific as he finished showering, focusing on the relaxing heat of the water.

After getting out of the shower Eren stopped off in the kitchen to make a sandwich and went back to his room to work on yet another lab report and to start trying to figure out what he wanted to do for his thesis. The fact that he still hadn't figured out a topic hit him like a truck made of panic; he needed to submit it for approval next week.

_Fuck shit fuck shit fuck. Stupid fucking hero stuff getting in the way of the_completely normal things_that I want to do with my life._

He ended up discussing potential topics with Armin for the next three hours. He still didn't have a clue by the time he was getting into bed well after midnight with his lab report still unfinished.

Eren was starting off to sleep when another thought drifted through his mind.

_Levi unmasked himself today just because I asked._

_What the fuck._

_I got to see that asshole's stupidly attractive face._

_…_

_He's still a fucking asshole._


	32. The Fall of Shiganshina Pt 1 (Collapse)

**As a head's up: Yes, I will be getting into social issues and shit because that's a huge part of the ALYNA-verse. Especially with Eren, Mikasa and Levi's back stories and character development (like holy shit wow huge). I did a lot of work with economic and urban-environmental geography for my undergrad degree and I love shit like this. Oh and if you're interested, you should check out the history behind the founding of gangs in NYC throughout its history. A really good parallel to the Stationary Guard would be the Young Lords (who are super awesome and you should go check that shit out because it's amazing)**

.

Crinkling and crumbling.

Painful heat on his face.

Ash in the air.

He couldn't breathe.

Screams and crying.

There was blood on his hands and the world around was collapsing around him.

Yelling, pleading, terror, anger.

In the air and flames were receding and he wanted to throw up but there just wasn't anything there because there hadn't been dinner yet and mom and mom and mom. And later there was nothing but sirens and nobody with kind eyes and smiles only gaunt horror and empty eyes reaching out and pleading have you seen them are they here they got out they must have.

Of course they did calm down ma'am you're fine and they're going to be okay and don't tell her that her son is dead the poor thing.

Mikasa next to him and they stare at each other and cling and they can't find another soul to cling to but one another and they're not quite fourteen and they know that the world is cruel but they couldn't have even imagined that it would be so callous as this.

A moment of comfort and a flare of anger.

You could have helped why didn't you why did you let him carry us away she was right there. You should have been able to lift that you should have helped why didn't you help she was right there.

She was right there.

It was raining wasn't it? Or were those tears?

Eren woke up choking on phantom ash and smoke.

His body was sore from fighting with Levi, but the pain he felt was different. Like there had been ice in his chest that was starting to melt and everything was cold and hollow but his skin still felt that hot burn of the memory.

He knew that sleep didn't want him again but there was no way he could do anything productive now; not like this. So he lay stiffly on his back with eyes pinning that crack on the ceiling into place. He couldn't help it, but he remembered and his mind wouldn't let him forget now so it played on endless loop. For the first time in a months he picked up the pieces and turned them over and over, looking at every detail and wishing that he could make sense of it. It was like a kid worrying at a loose tooth. Probing it for the pain and trying to figure out the mystery underneath before it fell out and was replaced.

Memories – unlike teeth – do not fall out.

It should have been a day like many others before it but it wasn't.

They should have come home to her smiling face and strong tea and pistachios and if it were a good day and if it had been a good week at work then maybe even baklava. They would sit in the kitchen and do their homework because it was warmer and there was sunshine and they would all smile and he knew now that she was tired and sad because he had grown up but still she smiled through it all.

It wasn't a normal day.

She wouldn't smile anymore.

They smelled the burning and saw the billowing plume of smoke hanging over their complex from the end of the block and when they saw the haunted faces of their neighbors they ran until their lungs were burning like the building, until their legs felt like they were going to collapse like it was. The fire burned and the wreckage continued to shift and sink but nobody was coming yet and they knew it. Nobody would be there soon enough.

So they ran up the stairs because at least that was intact and their half of the third floor was crushed under the weight of the four floors above it and they could just barely see her under it all; a face and an arm free, the other arm trapped, her lower half invisible under the rubble. And they tried to lift it and his hands were bloody and they were crying and Mikasa was shaking and wailing because she just couldn't move it and she was yelling for them to leave while the floors and the walls and the ceilings began to sink and shift even more. But Hannes was there and it was okay now but she continued to yell and plead as rubble fell and he stared at her with an ocean of sadness and then they were up in the air and the flames were receding…

And so was her face.

With the saddest smile he'd ever seen.

You have to fight to live.

His mother fought for them.

He heard the words later: code violations, corruption, absentee landlords. The upturned noses at just how could they bear to live in such a place, why wouldn't they just _move_ if it were that bad, it should have been condemned and torn down long ago. The outrage at the delayed response, the death toll, the lack of safe and affordable housing. How dare the city let this happen?

A month later nobody remembered and nothing changed.

The spark of public outrage fizzled out.

The politicians and the bureaucrats were all too happy to let it go.

Nobody cared.

The housing was worse and people crammed in because there was nowhere else to go and what was renter's insurance when you were already struggling with the rent itself? And how many kids should have been in foster care and abandoned to the system that had failed them once again if Pixis and Hannes and all the rest hadn't been there because they _knew_. Everyone knew the system was broken so they relied on their own.

South Stationary knew that it was them against the world and if they weren't there for each other then who the hell was. Short on rent? Talk to Pixis. Was he abusive? Brzenska had two fists for him. Did they not come home after school? Hannes would find them.

But that was peace time.

Then Pixis was gone and it was a war and everything was burning.

Nobody knew who killed Pixis, but the Stationary Guard wasn't guarding anything but itself anymore and by then it was bigger than South Stationary could ever contain.

.

**Clarification: South Stationary is a neighborhood / district within Shiganshina**

**ALYNA Asides chapter three has an extra thing you should check out: s/10713081/3/The-ALYNA-Asides**


	33. 33: Fourteen

He knew that he should head back to HQ, but it had been a weird day and he needed some space to sort through everything. Today had gone nothing like what he had expected. He yanked the door to his apartment and closed it with more force than he had intended. Sitting down on the couch heavily he hunched over and leaned his face forward into his hands.

_On the one hand, that could have gone worse – then again it also could have gone a whole hell of a lot better. Maybe I shouldn't have said anything, but it could have gotten way messier later. Fucking kid with a crush on_me_of all people. I can't even say that it's flattering, I'm supposed to watch out for this kid and I don't need him complicating things._

_Shouldn't have taken the damn cap off. Jesus that was a fucking awful idea._

_I guess the bright side of this whole mess is that I found out that it's only physical attraction and that he's not mooning around hoping that I'm going to somehow decide that I want a relationship with a kid almost a decade younger than me. He'll get over – what was it? – my "stupidly attractive face"?_

Levi took his face out of his hands and looked up again, glaring at the wall as though it were to blame for everything. He remembered that he was the one who was supposed to be shadowing Eren for the next few days. His frustration with the situation suddenly peaked and he slammed his foot into the coffee table in front of him sending it sliding a good three feet away from him.

His face tightened into a cruel smirk.

_Maybe I should've just fucked him just so that he could get it out of his system._

A grim laugh and the smirk dropped off his face.

_No, that would make even more of a mess and fucking hell that would be a disaster; he isn't even particularly attractive. Fucking pretty eyes but I'm not some sappy idiot – doesn't make up for shit._

He leaned his head back on the sofa and sighed deeply.

_I need a drink._

"Wow, you're in foul mood."

"Shut it, goggles."

"You've been drinking…"

"Yeah."

"You do realize that you're supposed to be shadowing Eren tonight?"

"Exactly."

"Um…? Going to explain that one?"

"The brat has a crush on me."

"Yeah, that was kinda obvious that first night. Soooo… something happened, fill me in!"

"I called him out on it and he freaked out at me."

"And you were being your usual cuddly self, weren't you?"

Levi mumbled something at the table they were sitting at.

"Sorry, I didn't catch that."

"I said that I might have called him out on it after punching him in the face."

"WHAT!?"

He groaned and brought his hand up to his head.

"I offered to give him self-defense lessons because the kid is fucking useless and he wasn't taking it seriously so I figured that he might be more inclined to actually _try_ if he were a bit angry."

"…so you punched him."

"Yeah. He ended up getting me back later but he froze up right after, so I might have got a little pissed off and hit him again."

"And then you told him that you know he has a crush on you."

"Sounds about right."

"You're freaking kidding me, right?"

Hanji's incredulity at his actions was palpable and he flinched at their unspoken reproach.

"I didn't say I was proud."

"Damn straight you shouldn't be. How did he take it? I'm _assuming_ that you rejected him. Please tell me that you did."

"Are you shitting me, Hanji? Of course I told him I wasn't interested. Jesus."

"And he took it how…?"

"Like I said, he freaked out and screamed at me."

"Freaked out how? You're making this like pulling teeth."

"Fine. He was pissed off that I didn't say anything sooner, which is fucked up since he also said that he already knew I wasn't interested but whatever. Also that he's sick of me treating him like a kid, but for fuck's sake he's a decade younger than me so I don't know what he expects. Oh and he explicitly mentioned that it's just physical attraction so at least there's that – he'll get over it quickly."

"And that's why you were drinking?" An eyebrow raised

"It was a stressful day."

"Sorry but no, you've been less stressed than this after we've run into the Titans."

"Fucking hell, Hanji. The kid has a crush on me and I'm supposed to do _what_? I don't want to deal with this shit. I have enough on my plate without this. I don't want to think about how to handle this."

"Just act like you normally would. Eren seems like he has an alright head on his shoulders. I think he'd be more upset if you started treating him differently now. I don't think I need to tell you of all people, but keep some personal distance so he has some space to get over it. Keeping your mask on so far was probably a good idea –"

_Fuck._

"– revealing secret identities complicates things."

_No shit._

"…yeah."

"Well, you seem pretty much sober. Get your gear together and I'll drive you over so that you can sit on a roof. Bring some tea with you, it's getting cold."

"I'll be fine."

Levi couldn't decide if he was happy or annoyed that Eren stayed in all night. Sure, it was an easy job to just sit around and see if the kid's malevolent shadow would show up, but it was also annoying as hell to sit around and wait for someone else to _maybe_ show up. He became less and less comfortable with his position as time went on.

_Nothing is fucking happening, the kid's probably just doing his shitty homework. I just want to go home and sleep._

Levi was debating whether he wanted to call it quits and leave when he saw the last light in the kid's apartment turn off. He decided to stick around for a bit longer to see if somehow that would bring someone else into the open. If there was one thing that he wouldn't be forgetting about from today, it was the simple phrase that had been echoing through his mind on and off for the past few hours.

"And that would hurt a hell of a lot less if I wasn't twenty-one and hadn't been pretty much on my own except for my sister since I was fourteen…"

_Fourteen._

_Jesus._

_What happened to you, kid?_


	34. The Fall of Shiganshina Pt 2 (Vaccine)

It was now half past three in the morning. The wave of paralysis that had gripped him had passed. Instead of being pinned to his bed by cold, sick fear at the memory of choking heat, he was restless and yet in need of silence. He pushed himself up and got out of bed so quickly that he nearly fell over as his body adapted to the sudden change in position. Mostly upright, he stumbled towards the kitchen with the intent of getting a glass of water to clear the phantom ash from his throat.

He stood, leaning against the counter having already drained two glasses of water trying to wash away the memory of hot ash and smoke. The chill of the floor was seeping into the toes of his bare feet and he could feel the faint grit from the floor sticking to the bottoms of his feet. He looked around the kitchen; there were dishes in the sink, the counters had some splatters from what looked like spaghetti and the floor had a grainy feel from dropped food and accumulated dirt.

He was far from being a clean freak – he couldn't remember the last time that he had done more than wash the dishes – but at not-yet-four in the morning with nothing to keep him company other than painful memories cleaning seemed like a good idea.

The rhythmic scrubbing and hush of running water began to relax the residual fight-or-flight tension from his memories. The repetitive motions and sound lulled him into a state of unguarded blankness; he watched every memory slide across his eyes, emotionless as though they weren't his. Time passed without his awareness; it stretched without end, it contracted and sped up.

In the half-light of almost-dawn Eren remembered without feeling.

His father leaving for days at a time for work.

Finding his mother crying at the kitchen table one night.

Dinner with the three of them.

Mikasa and him walking home with the fresh spring breeze on their faces.

A kitchen table with four chairs.

The smell of disinfectant when his father came home.

Finding Mikasa.

The warm sunshine in their kitchen.

Only three chairs now.

Christmas when he was four; the broken ornaments belonged to his deceased grandmother.

He couldn't count the number of fights – at least he healed quickly.

His mother thought there were too many vaccines.

The red bicycle.

He walked out the door and didn't look back.

Mikasa didn't leave her room for the rest of that next day.

The three of them watching movies all night and falling asleep in the living room.

Don't throw things out if they're still good.

Death and fire and collapse.

Trying so hard.

Giving up.

He was never walking back through that door – any door – so why even bother?

A plate crashed against the wall.

A wave of emotion ripped through the soporific emptiness.

Hate. Anger. Fury. Pain.

Eren knew that there was a chance that he had woken up Mikasa and he found that his rage had pushed it so far to the back of his mind that he couldn't do anything more than offer it a nod of acknowledgement. All he wanted was to get rid of _this_ – this pain that was so utterly useless to him, that served no purpose other than to continue to swell up and hurt him. Just mentioning his father upset him, never mind having his mind re-play that final day.

_He just fucking walked out. He didn't even look back._

If he had to guess why he still allowed himself to dredge everything up on occasion, he couldn't tell you. When he was younger he wanted to believe that if he took them out and looked at them then maybe the pain that time would vaccinate him against future pain; it was just like his father said. Vaccines were something that he knew a lot about, Dr. Jaeger was adamant about getting vaccinations when Eren was little – he hated needles. Dr. Jaeger saw far too many patients fall gravely ill because they didn't get vaccinated against something simple early on.

If there was thing that kept Eren from truly hating his father it was that he had decided to serve as a doctor in the South Stationary district as well as continuing his work developing more stable vaccines at a small lab in North Shiganshina. Being one of the few doctors located in the district proper meant that he was in constant high demand, but given his patients' own financial circumstances and his lab work having been brought down to part-time, the Jaeger household had been far from well-off. He could admire his father's dedication, but Eren was also be furious that he would put his family in a position where they lacked security and the constant presence of a family member. Things were relatively comfortable before his father left, but after that.

_"__Grisha, really…"_

_"__I have to go, Carla. It's important."_

_"__It's Saturday!"_

_"__It can't be helped. I need to go to the office."_

_"__Dad! Can I go with you?"_

Eren still couldn't forget the appraising stare of his father. The frown, the drawn-together brows. His father stooping down to kneel at eye-level with his younger self. Meeting his eyes and –

_"__No, Eren. You can't come with me today. Maybe tomorrow."_

_"__Promise?"_

_"__Of course."_

– lying to his face.

He stared down at the pieces of the shattered plate for a moment longer and went to get the broom to sweep it up. As he rummaged around their kitchen closet for the dust pan he looked out the window and realized that the sun was coming up; it was already peeking out over the horizon.

_Is this the sort of shit that you wanted me to think about, Erwin? Because if this is what you wanted then I really should be sending you therapy bills. What's the use in any of this anyway? Do you think the Titans want me because I have unresolved daddy issues? If that's it then maybe they have the name of a good therapist they can refer me to. One that preferably takes payment in the form of superhero services provided by my sister._

Done sweeping up the pieces, he returned the broom and dustpan to the closet and resumed looking out the window at the rising sun. The dull throb of anger was still in his blood, but it was calming slowly as he focused on breathing evenly and watching the sky.

_I don't know why I keep pulling all these memories out like they aren't going to hurt me._

_There's no vaccine against that._


	35. 35: Two Truths and a Lie

Eren was brought back to the present when he heard Mikasa enter the kitchen.

"Are you okay? I thought I heard something break."

"Sorry I woke you up. I dropped a plate when I was drying it."

"Which is why there's a dent in the wall over here?"

Silence stretched a moment.

"I'm sorry." Eren's voice was soft as he stared at the floor. "I had a nightmare about mom and when I woke up I couldn't help but think about Grisha and I just got so angry about it. Everything that's happening right now is probably because of him and I just want everything to stop. I want to research fucking _fish_, not get caught up in someone else's stupid war. Trost was supposed to be different."

Mikasa walked up behind him and wrapped her arms around him, holding him while his throat felt like it was closing up and his eyes burned. He could feel the wet heat ready to overflow from his eyes. When Mikasa held him tighter he blinked and allowed a few tears to escape; one shuddering breath later he was straightening up and Mikasa was unwrapping her arms.

"Feeling better?"

"Yeah."

_No, not at all._

"Okay. Now are you going to tell me what happened to your face? Because this is the second time you've come home with it all fucked up."

"Yeah, I'd really rather not talk about it."

"Too bad." Mikasa's voice made it clear that she would brook no arguments. "What happened?"

"Levi offered to give me some self-defense lessons; it's fine."

"Excuse me!? The midget did that? Is everyone in the Survey Corps going to hurt you? You've got more injuries from them than these Titans they're supposedly protecting you from. What the _fuck_, Eren?"

Mikasa's eyes were narrowed and her face was taut with anger. Her fists were balled up and shaking. She would strike a far more terrifying figure if it weren't for the neck brace and the bed head, but Mikasa being less-scary was still scarier than most people could ever be.

Eren took a deep breath and gathered his thoughts.

"The Survey Corps are rotating watching to make sure that nothing happens to me while you're out-of-commission since the Titans want me for whatever reason." He paused a moment and Mikasa nodded in assent. "And apparently Levi is the one who's going to end up taking a bunch of those shifts... watches? Anyway, he thought that it would be good for me to practice some self-defense to make things a bit easier; just in case something did happen. So he met me after class yesterday – that's where I was – and we went to one of the other buildings that the Survey Corps apparently owns…"

_How much do I actually want to say?_

"I couldn't really hit him, he wasn't doing anything more than blocking my _attempts_ to hit him. I just didn't want to fight him, it was too weird and I couldn't help thinking about who he was and it was pretty pitiful. He hit me to get me actually pissed off at him; it worked. I ended up tagging him back after a bit."

Mikasa tried and failed to hold back a snort of laughter.

"Anyway, I sort of froze up because I hit him a lot harder than I meant to and he got pissed off at me and punched me in the face again." _Also a kick to my side but she doesn't need to know that._ "It was really shitty of him, but also I kind of get where he's coming from? He's not exactly a warm and fuzzy person and I don't think he knows how to give constructive criticism. Probably doesn't even fucking know what it _means_."

"When I'm okay to take this stupid brace off, I'm going to kill him."

"Mikasa, please just leave it. I really doubt he's going to suggest trying to do any self-defense work with me again."

"Why's that?" She looked mildly confused. "If he was bitching about it making his job easier and apparently it gives him free reign to beat you up, why don't you think he's going to continue with it?"

_Deep breath. Just tell the truth._

"We kind of got into an argument right after."

"Over what?"

"…uh…" _Fuck it._ "The fact that he punched me in the face when I was standing totally still and not even trying to defend myself.

"That's pretty fucking valid. Shorty's so pissed off at you because you argued that he isn't going to work with you anymore? That's fucking ridiculous."

"No, it's more like we both said some stupid things and now it's going to be really awkward for a bit. I don't actually _know_ that he won't work with me anymore but I can take a pretty solid guess that I'm right."

"As long as he isn't blowing off his shifts watching you, I guess it isn't that much of an issue."

_No, that's exactly the issue. I don't want to be protected like some princess in a tower, I'm sick of this bullshit. Ugh. Levi, did you really need to call me out about my crush when you did?_

"Yeah." Eren stared into space in the direction of Mikasa's left shoulder for a moment, still in his own thoughts. "I'm going to have some cereal or something and head to campus. I didn't get a chance to finish my lab last night and even talking with Armin I couldn't figure out my thesis topic. Oh fuck, everyone's going to ask about my face."

Mikasa pulled him into a gentle hug.

"At least your eyebrow is pretty much healed. Though maybe you could have told everyone that you got mugged and your adviser would give you an extension on your thesis topic. You would have looked even worse with the bandages."

"I wish. No way is the department going to give me an extension. I need to submit to the IRB."

"Well, good luck. I'm going to go back to bed. Promise to not hurl around anymore plates?"

"I'll stick to juice glasses."

"Please, he isn't worth you getting upset about. Don't think about him so much, okay?"

"Yeah, sure."

_Tell that to Commander Handsome. _

**.**

**IRB stands for Institutional Review Board. You have to submit all research proposals requiring live subjects to them so that they can evaluate your methods and check for ethical issues with your work (especially if people are involved) and you can't start anything until they grant approval. Dunno about other schools, but at mine the IRB only convened every three months so if you missed a submission deadline you were royally screwed.**

**Sorry about the academia acronyms.**


	36. 36: Invitation and Apology

The post-dawn light combined with the fog of early fall transformed Trost's campus from a thrumming mass of minds and bodies into a serene and meditative space. Normally, Eren might find the solitude relaxing but today he needed to be with people to distract himself from his own thoughts. He knew that it was still early, but the diner a few blocks off-campus was open twenty-four hours a day and there were always people there. He'd had a bowl of cereal at home but there was no denying that just thinking about blueberry pancakes was making him hungry again. The local diner came with the added bonus of having unlimited refills on coffee and after getting only a few hours of sleep Eren needed the caffeine boost if he was going to be coherent in his morning classes.

Six cups of coffee later, he could barely sit still in class.

He also discovered that his adviser wasn't on-campus today.

Barring the blueberry pancakes, today wasn't shaping up to be in his favor.

Eren sat in the library flipping through biology journals trying to find some sort of inspiration for his thesis. Thus far he hadn't found anything feasible that interested him. If he was lucky and found the right adviser he might be able to do deep-ocean field research when he went for his master's degree, but most likely he wouldn't be out on the water unless he was a doctoral candidate. He tried to push down those thoughts though; the fact that he was likely facing a further six years of schooling before he could pursue the career that he wanted to depressed him intensely. He was thankful for a minor distraction when he felt his phone buzz in his pocket.

**[Hanji:]** What's the chance that you're free this evening? Erwin wants to check in with you and Mike is making spaghetti and meatballs.

Eren stared at his phone with his head cocked to the side and his face twisted into mild confusion.

**[Eren:]** i should be free this evening. is erwin actually going to tell me anything or what? (spaghetti and meatballs sounds amazing, you're bribing me aren't you?)

**[Hanji:]** Of course I'm bribing you! Are you going to be at the labs again tonight? Or will I be picking you up at your apartment?

**[Eren:]** you really don't have to pick me up, the bus is just fine.

**[Hanji:]** Eren, we are legitimately concerned about your safety. We don't want to chance you getting hurt or kidnapped again.

**[Eren:]** i'm at the lab until 6, after that i'm home.

**[Hanji:]** I'll be out front this time. See you then!

He sighed as he put his phone back in his pocket.

_I am so sick of being treated like this fragile thing to be protected or a damsel in distress. Awkward as things would be with Levi, I really hope that him wanting to make his job easier trumps him wanting to avoid any weirdness between us. Tonight is going to be really awkward if all four of them are there._

_What do I say about my face?_

Eren's head hit the table he was sitting at harder than he intended and he groaned into his hands at the pain from his bruises and the thought of having to eat dinner with all four members of the Survey Corps. He imagined that it would be something akin to a dysfunctional family's holiday dinner. He pulled out his phone again to text Mikasa.

**[Eren:]** survey corps wants me to go over again tonight after i get out of the lab. idk what time i'll be back.

He barely had to wait a moment for Mikasa to reply.

**[Mikasa:]** seriously? why?

**[Eren:]** apparently commander handsome wants to update me on things.

**[Mikasa:]** how are you getting there?

**[Eren:]** dr. scientist is picking me up.

**[Mikasa:]** that's good at least

**[Eren:]** i guess… it's kinda annoying.

**[Mikasa:]** suck it up. i don't want you getting kidnapped again. and make sure you punch shorty in the face.

**[Eren:]** no way in hell am i doing that.

**[Mikasa:]** fine. i'll do it myself when i've got this stupid brace off.

**[Eren:]** please don't.

**[Mikasa:]** nope.

He tucked his phone away for the second time and went back to reading articles that he could barely focus on anymore.

If there was one thing that had started haunting him today, it was the fact that if he didn't come up with a thesis topic of his own he was probably going to end up getting roped into doing his thesis on sticklebacks and the data that he had been collecting for the past year. He had begun to wonder if Hanji had any experience in marine biology and if maybe they would be willing to talk it out with him. It was then that he realized just how desperate he was; asking a mad scientist inventor who probably knew nothing about marine biology to allow him to bounce ideas off of them was the peak of insanity.

He was waiting in the lobby of the bio lab building when he saw and all-too-familiar Honda Civic pull up outside.

_No. no no no no no. Hanji just had to borrow Levi's car. That's all. Definitely what happened it's not like Levi seems like the type of person who would never allow someone else to drive his car or anything._

He watched as a short figure stepped out of the car while pulling a cap low over their face, standing next to the car and looking around at the surrounding area. A few passing students gave him odd looks, likely due to his short stature and the fact that he was wearing a baseball cap in spite of the cloudy weather.

_Okay. Just act like nothing happened because he's probably going to pretend that nothing ever happened either but still treat me like shit – fucking asshole._

He walked outside and met Levi's gaze stoically as he turned to face him. Levi gave him a look over and then a curt nod before getting back into the car, Eren followed his lead and threw his bag into the back seat before getting into the car himself.

"Do you always carry that much shit with you?"

"No. I was in the library doing research most of the day. I thought Hanji was supposed to pick me up?"

"Erwin needed them to look into a few things and Mike is doing whatever in the kitchen so here I am."

They lapsed into silence and Eren fiddled with a loose thread on the cuff of his sweatshirt as they drove on.

"Do you still want to do self-defense lessons or are you still too pissed off at me?"

"Um… yeah. I mean, yeah I'm still game. Also still a bit pissed off at you. You _were_ kind of an ass. I didn't think you'd want to though, I thought it would be too awkward."

"Kid," Levi sighed heavily. "It's only as awkward as you make it and I'd rather you be able to defend yourself. Just… you need to take it seriously, okay?"

"Fine, sure."

Eren turned his head to stare out the window, watching the buildings as they passed by. The silence this time was far more relaxed. He realized that he was glad that Levi had showed up with his face obscured again. He assumed that Levi was going to put his mask back on once they reached the Survey Corps headquarters and that suited him just fine. He hadn't anticipated Levi actually unmasking himself the other day and he felt far more comfortable with that barrier between them right now given everything that had happened. The other day had ended up being so stressful that he honestly couldn't really remember Levi's face too well anyway; he figured that was a good thing too. He needed the distance to get over his stupid crush and not being able to see the other man's face put him far more at ease.

Levi's tone had a softer quality when he broke the silence a few moments later.

"…I'm sorry I hit you, it was shitty of me. It doesn't look as bad as I thought it would though, so I guess there's that."

Eren's stomach give a weak flop.

_Okay, maybe not as easy to get over as I thought._

**_._**

**I freaking *love* spaghetti and meatballs, especially my family's recipe for homemade meatballs. Also I half the people I knew in college drove older Honda Civics, lol. The Civic is pretty much the car of the everyman.**


	37. 37: Spaghetti, Silence, Spark

"Eren!"

The volume of Hanji's greeting at the moment he walked through the door made Eren jump back slightly into Levi and he ended up getting propelled into the room by a shove from the man behind him. Stumbling forward he could see that the table that they had sat at the other day had been cleared and was set with a mismatched assortment of plates and utensils. The heavy, heady smell of meatballs and red sauce saturated the air; he could taste dinner before he could even see it. Erwin waved him to come closer.

"We thought that it might be best to eat before talking. Please have a seat, Eren."

"Thanks."

Eren sat down in the chair that Erwin had indicated. Since there were five of them but only four sides to the table, he ended up sitting on the side adjacent to Erwin with Levi seated next to him. Hanji was seated at the side adjacent to Levi which meant that Mike would be sitting across from Eren once he came out of the kitchen. Eren couldn't help but fidget; part of him wanted to scoot a little further away from Levi but the other half didn't want to get any closer to Erwin. He realized that his discomfort was readable when he noticed Hanji looking at him with a softened expression. Their eyes flicked towards Levi and then back to him and they gave him a sympathetic smile.

_Fuck. Hanji knows._

Part of him wanted to bury his head in his arms but he remained in place.

_It doesn't look like Erwin knows. Or, if he does he isn't letting on. Though I guess what does it matter to any them if I have a stupid crush on Levi? All that matters to them is that I stay safe and give them any information that they might need._

Eren perked up when he heard Mike call out asking for assistance bringing food to the table. He was halfway out of his seat when Levi made a sharp cutting motion with his hand and stopped him from getting up. He awkwardly sat back down as Levi got up to help move things out of the kitchen. Hanji gave him another sympathetic smile and Erwin finally looked up from his papers and put them down.

Once the food was on the table everyone began to serve themselves and eat in silence. There was a weird sort of tension in the air and Eren couldn't figure out if it was simply because he was there or if something else was going on. He watched everyone eating and nearly laughed when he realized that Levi was cutting his spaghetti with a knife so that the pieces were shorter and he didn't have to slurp them up. Mike and Erwin were relatively neat eaters even without cutting their spaghetti.

But Hanji – Hanji was eating their spaghetti with audible gusto. They weren't being messy, but they _were_ being loud and he couldn't help but stare at them ever-so-slightly. Since the other three seemed to be ignoring the noises coming from the other end of the table, Eren resolved to keep to his own meal as well. The silence that hung over the table was almost deafening and continued to weigh on him. He took a long glance around the table and noted that his tablemates didn't seem to be bothered by the silence; or if they were, they weren't letting it show.

_So we're just going to sit here in silence then... I guess I was wrong, it's not so much like a dysfunctional family dinner as it is a very silent and awkward one. Am I just supposed to sit here and wait for everyone to finish? Am I expected to start the conversation? Will they think it's rude if I talk? I don't really mind that it's quiet it's just… eerie. It's like everyone is thinking about something really big but doesn't want to share. And I have getting grilled on dad –_Grisha_to look forward to._

As soon as that thought was let loose on his mind he felt like his stomach had fallen out. He could even imagine the pile of spaghetti and meatballs that would be splattered on the floor by the sudden removal of a portion of his intestines.

_Levi would probably be pissed about cleaning that up._

He let a small grin creep across his face.

_Captain Clean._

"Ah, I just realized something!" Hanji's second outburst was even louder than their earlier greeting. "Eren, you go to Trost and we've picked you up from the biology lab building but we have no idea what your major is! Do you work with biomechanical design? Genetic engineering?" Their eyes were lit up and a delighted grin was plastered across their face at the potential for a fellow mad scientist or inventor being seated at the table.

"No, I'm majoring in marine biology."

"Oh." Their shoulders slumped a bit. "That's no fun."

"Yes it is! It's really fascinating! Just because I'm not growing robots or mapping genomes or engineering new species or whatever doesn't mean that marine biology is boring!"

Hanji looked taken aback at his passionate rebuttal but recovered quickly.

"So then what makes it so interesting? Tell me about it." They were looking at him with an almost proud smile.

"Marine biology is amazing and so worth it because we've explored almost none of the ocean and who knows what's in the deepest parts? There are definitely species that we've never encountered before and we can't just not explore it; there could be something there that cures cancer or eradicates a degenerative disease. They're already researching the potential for a cure for cancer that could be locked away in shark DNA and how can we just leave that great unknown as uncharted? There are so many things we don't know, I mean look at the ecosystems surrounding thermal vents and how in the deepest parts of the ocean that we _have_ explored we've found life forms that perform photosynthesis _without sun_, you find ones that live off of the thermal radiation around hydro-thermal vents or metabolize sulfur and – "

Eren went dead still as though frozen in time.

His eyes sparked and he came to life again.

"Holy fuck I figured out my thesis."

**.**

**I am not a biologist or a marine biologist. I really love marine biology but I only have a pop sci understanding of the field. If I goof on something and you notice, please let me know so I can correct it.**


	38. 38: This Heart is a Tetris Mess

Hanji was staring at him, seemingly overcome with joy at the fact that they had helped him to reach his epiphany about his thesis. The other three sitting at the table were giving him looks that registered somewhere between bafflement and exasperation. Eren could feel the wide grin tugging at his face and he let it take over. He could see his own grin mirrored on Hanji's face.

_Science bros._

Eren had already pulled a notebook out of his bag and was starting to scribble out some basic notes when he remembered that he was not only in the middle of eating dinner, he was in the middle of eating dinner with the Survey Corps. He looked up at all of them, an apologetic smile on his face.

"Sorry, I just really don't want to forget…"

"We deal with Hanji on a regular basis. We're used to it." There was a faint smile on Mike's face and he shook his head slightly.

"And you work with fish and not people so unlike goggles over here, you're not going to be hounding us for _samples_ – or at least I hope not." The look that Levi was giving him would have been completely unfathomable a few days ago, but Eren wanted to think that he had been spending enough time around the other man that he could read faint amusement underneath.

"Well maybe you're hiding something. You're a mermaid, aren't you?" He kept his voice light and joking.

It was a shame that the moment he realized that he was starting to be able to read Levi was the moment went that faint trace of amusement was wiped off of his face, reverting back to the blank expression that was his default.

_Oh for fuck's sake. Is he really going to get pissed off because I called him a mermaid?_

"Ah! That just reminded me! Eren, would you mind me letting me take a blood sample and check your vitals? I'm curious about whether you have elevated cortisol levels. Once we establish that baseline I'd like to have you – "

"Hanji, I'm sure that Eren would be happy to discuss this later, but I think it would be a good idea if we talked about what's happening with the Titans first."

"And then you can go back to having a mutual nerdgasm."

Mike gave a weird cross between a laugh and a snort at Levi's interjection and tried to cover his widening smile as Hanji shot him an offended look and Eren puffed up indignantly, mouth open and a retort at the ready.

"Enough."

Erwin didn't raise his voice by much, but he caught their attention. Levi rolled his eyes at Hanji as they settled back and Eren shrunk down sheepishly and focused intently on the sauce-covered plate in front of him.

"Now, I wanted to go over what happened with your father." Erwin's eyes skimmed over Eren's face, watching his jaw clench. "We can go over what we know with you and maybe you can help us fill in the gaps, perhaps even jog your memory if there are things that you've forgotten."

_Yeah, well there are a lot of things I'd fucking_prefer_to forget._

He could feel his nails biting deep into the flesh of his palms as his fists clenched. Erwin and Hanji began to collect dishes and bring them back into the kitchen while Mike sat back and closed his eyes, exhaling contentedly. Levi had taken out his phone and was fiddling with it. Eren wasn't _trying_to look at what Levi has doing, but he caught a glimpse of the screen and saw that he was playing Tetris. Part of him wanted to laugh, but the half that was more concerned with self-preservation held it in and turned it into a little smirk at Levi while his back was turned to him.

With Erwin and Hanji returned and the table cleared they all sat down to talk. While everyone else looked relaxed and indolent after their heavy meal, Eren felt himself getting more and more keyed up waiting for the inevitable conversation about his father. He could hear the haptic feedback from Levi's phone as he tapped away playing Tetris, but that seemed to be the only movement at the table in that brief moment. He gritted his teeth and anticipating someone else starting the conversation. He wasn't disappointed when Erwin picked it up again a moment later.

"Eren, before we start talking about anything particularly specific I'd like to start simply with you confirming or denying the information that we have gathered. Do you think you can do that?"

"Yes." Eren spat out the syllable with disgust.

"Alright. Your father is named Grisha Jaeger, correct?"

"What the…? Yes, it's his name."

"He was a doctor? We have here that he worked as both a part of a research team developing more stable vaccine serums for easier shipping and storage as well as a doctor in Shiganshina."

"A doctor in _South Stationary_. There's a difference." Erwin was giving him an odd but thoughtful look now.

"But he worked in a lab as well?"

"Yeah, but he was barely working there by the time he left."

"Do you remember the name of the research group that he worked with?"

"No." Erwin's face tipped into a frown and he looked down at the papers next to him. "I think the name started with a C though… Carlisle? Carver? I'm pretty sure there was an R in it too. Sorry, I really don't remember that well. Actually... I don't think he was even still working there when he left us." He kept his tone level. Erwin was undoubtedly going to go probing at _that_ but he wasn't going to let it in any sooner than he had to. He tipped his head forward and pressed his hands up to his face.

"I see… I understand that you don't want to talk about this, but we need to know a little more about the circumstances under which he disappeared."

Eren's head jerked up violently and his jaw muscles twitched as he clenched his teeth together. He knew that his glare was nothing short of murderous, but to hear _that_ again…

"He didn't fucking disappear. He_left_." That familiar feeling of cold nausea and heated fury rose up like bile at the back of his throat, drowning him in the acrid and acidic taste of long-simmering anger.

"Eren. We're just trying to – "

"No. He fucking left to go to _work_" he created physical care quotes around the word with his fingers, "on a Saturday morning and when my mom started to clean that afternoon she found a bunch of his clothes and personal shit missing; his files, his medical licenses, some of his reference books. You know what he didn't take? Photos of our family. He didn't fucking disappear."

He could feel himself shaking and worked to calm down and bring his breathing back under control. He couldn't help but feel like he was trying to play Tetris with his own heart. This emotion fit here but not there and if you put the wrong piece in the right place everything would get messed up and impossible to fix. Everything was jumbled and the pieces that he needed to get some closure just weren't there for him and he didn't know that they ever would be. And if he was going to have to go around reliving all of these memories for however long, he didn't know how he was going to come out on the other side.

Eren focused on the table and on his hand gripping the edge of the table to the point where he would swear he could feel the wood giving way under his hand. He could see a vein on his hand pulsing rhythmically and focused on it, the metronomic pull of his pulse slowly hypnotized him and he allowed the fury to rush out of himself. He imagined that he could see it pulling away from him like the tide lapping at a person's feet. As the volatile flares began to die back down into the constant simmer he heard someone standing up.

"Well, while the brat gets himself back under control I'm going to grab something to drink. Any requests?"

Occupied by his own thoughts, Eren didn't really pay much mind to the murmured drink requests around him. He barely registered Levi's repeated question. He didn't really think before answering.

"Handle of vodka would be nice."

He heard Mike snort and saw Hanji shake their head out of the corner of his eye. He couldn't see Levi, but he could see that Erwin was slightly frustrated, though at him or Levi's abrupt decision to get up he couldn't tell. He listened to the faint click of heels as Levi pivoted and continued on to the kitchen. He continued to try and push out the rest of his anger and anxiety in the half-calm as they waited for drinks.

"Sorry… this isn't exactly the easiest topic for me."

Eren could feel three sets of eyes fixed firmly on him and squirmed uncomfortably under their scrutiny. The sound of Levi returning dissipated some of the discomfort as gazes and poses had to be broken in order to accept drinks.

Levi had a glass of water, but the other three each had a bottle of beer. Eren looked down at the glass placed in front of him – _milk_.

"Drink up, brat." He could see the barely-restrained smiles on their faces and the sly smirk playing across Levi's lips. Hanji and Mike gestured at one another with their bottles and drank.

_You fucking asshole, Levi._

He grabbed the glass viciously with the intent of downing it all in one go just to be rid of it.

"Careful." Levi's voice was firm, but soft enough not to carry beyond the two of them.

_Oh fuck you._

The pause in his motions that Levi's voice had caused ended up saving him from certain death.

It wasn't milk.

He wasn't sure it could even be called a White Russian when he was fairly certain that it was half vodka.

**.**

**Oh and in case it matters to you: a "handle" of liqour is roughly a 1/2 gallon or 1.75 liters**


	39. 39: Hazy Memory

There were two things that Eren was appreciative of in this moment; the first was that Levi had made him pause before he chugged the entire glass of "milk" and the second was that he had a very good poker face when it came to hard liquor. He was convinced that Levi must be at least _smiling_ at the predicament that he had just put Eren in. Yes, Levi had honored his request for a handle of vodka to a certain degree but he had also given him a large quantity of alcohol disguised as an innocent and innocuous beverage when he had to have a Very Serious Conversation with Erwin and the rest of the Survey Corps. He couldn't think of anything more mortifying than going on a slurred rant about how much of an asshole Grisha was and how much it had messed up his life for a while and how he had only recently really come to terms with it.

Then again, Levi's motivation might have been – not innocent – but some sort of misguided attempt to make him more comfortable. A bit of liquid courage to get him through an emotionally taxing conversation. He would have been more appreciative if his drink wasn't half vodka. And not particularly good vodka either.

"Eren, do you think you're calm enough to talk about your father again?" Erwin kept his voice gentle.

"Could you just call him Grisha?" Eren tried not to sound too snappish about it, but he knew that it still came out a bit harsher than he had intended.

"Of course, if that's what you prefer… I'd like to ask if there's anything else that you remember around the time he left. Not the day of, but the days leading up to it."

_How many fucking times have I turned that one over? So many stupid little things that probably mean nothing or everything. Who knows?_

"I guess he was going to his office a bit more than usual the weeks before. My mom was pissed that he was leaving again because it was a Saturday and he hadn't come home until almost 10pm the night before. He was supposed to be home by dinner but… clearly that never happened." He followed it up by taking a long drink from his glass, keeping a straight face as the vodka set fire to his throat.

"Kid, you're going to need to be a bit more specific than that." Eren whipped his head around to glare at Levi.

"I'm sorry my head is getting a little bit _fuzzy_ right now." He glared at Levi even harder. "Also it was a long time ago."

"Well why don't you try a little bit harder because if we don't figure this shit out either we're going to be tailing you or you're going to be looking over your shoulder for who knows how long. And honestly, I've got better things to do at night than sit on a roof and make sure that your dumb ass doesn't get kidnapped."

"Levi." Erwin's tone carried a warning and Levi shut his mouth tightly, his lips drawing into a thin line. "Eren, anything that you remember, any detail – no matter how trivial – could be useful to us. Please don't spare anything. We want to get this cleared up and have your life back to normal as soon as we can."

_As normal as it ever is. How about actually normal? I'd like that for once. No threat of being kidnapped, no superheroes, no supervillains. None of it. But that's not really possible is it? What the fuck_is_ normal for me anymore?_

"Like I said, I don't remember a ton. But I'll try and see what I can remember."

"Shall we begin again? It doesn't matter if it's necessarily chronological. We can try to piece it together later."

"Okay. So…" Eren shut his eyes tight trying to recall things and felt memories slipping past. It was like cupping water in his hands to see his reflection, the memories in his hands were pouring through his fingers before he could get a clear look at them. He cast his mind out and started talking, hoping that memories would start to reconstitute themselves as he went.

"…So he was going to the office more but he was also doing more house calls. Which like, good for him he went to the people who needed him but it was like he gave more of a shit about his patients than his family sometimes. I guess it was weird because a lot of people got some pig flu thing a few months before so he was doing a lot of work then but everyone was okay again but he was going out a lot. I didn't understand it. I don't think mom did either. The day he left he said I could go to work with him the next day but he was lying because everything was packed and he was gone. Mom asked Hannes if Grisha owed anyone money but he said no so he didn't leave because of money. I was so mad at him then but I wish Hannes… Anyway he got back late the night before he left and I heard him and mom fighting and it woke me up. I couldn't really understand what they were fighting about."

Eren brought his hands up to massage his temples as he tried to remember but everything was fuzzy with time and it was like everything was slightly duller and dream-like, he couldn't control every small motion but he could feel every single one of them.

_Hmm, it's nice and warm. This honestly isn't as bad as I thought. I guess just letting things go and rambling helps._

Eren felt lulled into the haze for a moment. He went to pick up his glass when it suddenly hit him.

_Fuck. Everything's already getting really fuzzy and not only did I pretty much finish it, I only started this about twenty minutes ago. I'm going to get slammed any minute now. Fuck you, Levi._

"I'm sorry, it's just…" He caught himself on the verge of slurring and made sure to enunciate as clearly as possible as he continued, "it's just that it was so long ago. Is it okay if I take a day to try and remember things and write it down? I'm getting tired. I had a long day."

Erwin sighed and nodded.

"Don't hesitate to text Hanji or Levi if you remember something. Either of them," he looked pointedly at Levi, "would be happy to meet with you to talk and forward along what you remember."

"Right. I'll do that. Yeahhhhh."

_I just need to get up and leave and go and I can just crawl into bed and sleep it off._

"Come on, brat. Let's get going."

Eren felt Levi grab his collar and haul him up out of his seat. He had a brief moment of clarity in which he remembered to grab his school bag as he was half-dragged to the door.

Mike pulled out his phone as the two of them left through the door.

**[Mike:]** Levi, how much alcohol did you give him?

**[Levi:]** How the hell was I supposed to know he'd down the whole thing that fast? Fucking college kids.


	40. 40: Laughter and Loss

"Oi, brat. Do you know how to get in a car?"

"Yeahhhhhhhh."

"So fucking do it."

Levi watched to make sure that Eren was fully in the car before getting in himself. He silently cursed himself for thinking that it would be a good idea to give the kid as much alcohol as he did. He had hoped that it would just loosen the kid up so that he didn't look like he was going to kill someone every time his father was brought up. What he hadn't expected was for him to down the entire glass in twenty minutes. He watched Eren out of the corner of his eye as he drove, watching the passing lights flash by and alternate between illuminating a silhouette and a statue in drunken repose. Levi didn't see Eren flop towards him as they passed through the darkness between streetlights, but when he did notice their increased proximity and Eren's intent gaze he shifted uncomfortably.

_Please don't do this, kid. Please don't do this to yourself and please don't put me in this position. I don't fucking need this bullshit._

"I swear to fucking Christ, I know you're drunk but if you hit on me I will kick your ass again."

"Thought you said you were sorry about that." Eren was mumbling but thankfully not at the point where he was slurring.

"I am." Levi glanced over at Eren and frowned at the bruises. "Give me a better way to get it through your thick head that I'm not interested."

"Not really into sounding…" Now he was starting to slur his words a little bit.

There was a momentary pause of silence before Levi burst out laughing. He stopped the car at a stop sign and stayed there until his laughter had died out. As he turned his head to wipe the tears away from his eyes he caught Eren staring at him, slack-jawed and wide-eyed.

"Holy fuck. You can laugh." Levi's face resumed its usual neutral expression.

"Is that really so surprising?" His voice was soft as he began to drive again.

"Not really, but also yeah because… dunno. Surprised I made you laugh. Was a bad joke."

"It was god awful."

"But you still laughed."

"Yes. We established that already."

"It was nice."

"What did I say about hitting on me?"

"No, 'm not hitting on you. Just saying it's nice. You always seem sad or serious or something."

"Well you always look like you're either ready to die from embarrassment or punch someone."

"Mm… 's actually pretty good explanation of me."

"Explanation, huh?"

"Shut up. Y'know what I meant."

Levi drove onwards and allowed the quiet hum of the car fill the silence. It wasn't an uncomfortable silence the way that so many had been. It was calm. There was no awkwardness; the sniping had been perfectly innocent and devoid of tension regardless of Levi's concern over Eren's feelings towards him.

_He's not that bad of a kid really, even with all that emotional weirdness he's got going on…_

Levi's brow furrowed as looked forward and continued to drive.

"Hey kid? Still conscious?"

"_Eren_. And yeah, no thanks t'you."

"Well _kid_, I have a question for you. Why the fuck are you so angry?"

"Think I mentioned earlier that my dad left. Or did you fucking miss that?" Eren was glaring at him now.

"No, I got that loud and clear. It's just… no, I guess it's not angry."

He took in a deep breath.

"You seem really fucked up and I'm curious."

Eren gaped at him before his features twisted into tense anger.

"What the _fuck_, Levi?" His words were clear and annunciated and Levi winced.

_Shit, here's to hoping he's drunk enough that he doesn't remember that in the morning._

Now the silence was tense and they came to a stop in some traffic stopped at a light. A moment passed and then another and they sat at a standstill.

"We on Washington?" Eren's voice was back to its light slurring as he slumped back into his seat.

"Yeah. Why?"

"Bus got re-routed because there's construction on it all week. Should've taken River."

"You're shitting me, right?"

"Nope."

"_Fuck._"

"Yep."

They lapsed back into silence as they sat at a standstill, moving a foot or two every few minutes as the traffic crawled along. Eren seemed to have fallen asleep and Levi was grateful for the peace it offered him. He tried to focus on inching forward and staying as close as possible to the car in front of him as other cars tried to merge into their lane.

"I'm from South Stationary. Erwin probably mentioned that, yeah?" Levi was taken aback at Eren's sudden return to semi-consciousness.

"Mm."

"Also lived in Maria Wall until… well, I don't know how much news traveled outside of Shiganshina."

_Holy fuck._

"My mom died in the... Couldn't lift the things, Mikasa's powers weren't reliable yet." He took a shuddering breath and exhaled. "There was… there was a lot of fire, so much fire and Hannes grabbed us. We lived with him after but before things went completely to shit. We moved to Trost five years ago. Just me an' Mikasa… my sister… Red Scarf. Whatever."

_Holy_fuck_, kid._

"Didn't graduate, got a GED instead."

_That's… not what I expected. I knew that being from South Stationary meant he would have to have dealt with the Stationary Guard, but his mom died in Maria Wall and he was right there? Jesus._

"That's..." _fucked up? I'm sorry? What the hell does anyone say to that?_

"So that's why I'm fucked up."

"I shouldn't have asked."

"I didn't have to answer. Pretty fucking hammered now so dunno if I'll remember tomorrow." He slumped back again and the traffic continued on with them inching ever-so-slightly forward every few minutes. Half an hour later they had come out on the other side of the traffic and continued on.

Levi's knuckles were white as he relaxed and tightened his grip on the steering wheel.

_Tit for tat._

Inhale. Exhale.

"I grew up in the Underground."

Eren jerked up in surprise, eyes wide in shock. He leaned forward and clapped a hand to his mouth, nauseous at the sudden movement.

"Don't fucking throw up in the car, brat."

**.**

**Uhhhhhh... if you don't know what sounding is, go Google it and it should actually be the first hit.**

**GED: General Equivalency Diploma. It's a test that you can take (at least in the US) that proves you have completed the equivalent of high school -level coursework even if you haven't formally completed high school. In theory it doesn't impact whether or not you get into college. _In theory._ It really depends on the school.**

**Basically the timeline point is that Eren and Mikasa left Shiganshina and moved to Trost a year before Eren would have finished high school and he didn't return to school and got his GED instead. I don't think I ever clarified this but Mikasa is a year older than Eren so she did formally finish school.**

**Take a guess as to whether or not this is plot relevant...**


	41. 41: The (Drunken) Hand of Friendship

**All texting typos by Eren are intentional; kid's drunk.**

**.**

"So you're from the Underground?" Eren was mumbling past his hand as a second wave of nausea hit him.

"Yes. If you throw up in this car you're dead."

"It's your fault. You're the one who made me a drink that was half vodka. And shitty vodka too."

"Hanji isn't known for being picky about their alcohol."

"Couldn't have just got me a beer like everyone else?" He leaned his body back into the seat and his hands drifted up from his mouth to cover his eyes.

"Erwin wouldn't have been happy. He might know already though. Mike could smell it and who knows if he's going to mention it or not."

"Mm." Eren let his hands fall away. "Hey, you volunteered infom – _information_ – that you're from the Underground and you're not going to tell me shit?"

"You told me something, I told you something."

"I fucking told you the sparkle notes of my life before I moved here. You need to give me more."

"Spark Notes, even?"

"What?" Eren's face was one of confusion before it resolved into frustration. "Fuck you, I'm drunk and it's your fault." The flare of anger made him slur the words badly.

"I didn't tell you to down what was probably about four shots in under twenty minutes."

"…what made you put that much alcohol in?"

"Like I said, I didn't think you'd down it in _twenty fucking minutes_."

A pause in conversation.

"You're avoiding talking about it. You're really good at that."

"Fucking hell, kid. I didn't have to tell you and that's all I'm telling you so drop it."

"Can't just say a thing and expect me to drop it."

"Congratulations, you're a persistent little shit about everything. _Drop. It._"

"No." Eren's face became increasingly tense as his frustration mounted. "You brought it up. You're the one wanted t'say something."

Levi was glaring at him and Eren suddenly became very worried. They were in a car. And Levi had been glaring directly at him for a full minute.

"Levi, shouldn't you be looking at the road?"

"Brat, we've been stopped in front of your building for almost a full five minutes now."

"Wow that's, um yeah…" Eren shuffled in his seat awkwardly, trying not to lose his balance and fall over as he pulled his bag out from under his feet. He paused once he had finally laid hands on the strap. "Really not going to say anything besides that?"

"No."

"Gonna ask Hanji. They'd tell me."

"Hanji isn't going to tell you shit."

"Then I'll find someone else!" Even Eren cringed at the sudden rise in the volume of his voice.

"There _isn't_ anyone else." Levi had intended for his tone to be sharp, to make it clear that this was the end of the discussion. Instead it came out as a guttural snarl. Eren had curled back again and was looking at him with an expression that Levi didn't like.

"So um… no one else?" Eren's expression was oddly glazed as he tried to handle having a serious conversation while drunk.

"No."

"Where are –"

"Dead."

"Are you…"

"Am I what? Please tell me you weren't going to ask if I'm okay or if I need a hug or some other touchy-feely bullshit. I made peace with my life years ago."

"Right." Levi watched him as he began to shuffle uncomfortably in his seat again.

"Whatever shitty thing you're thinking right now, just spit it out."

Eren swallowed and opened and closed his mouth experimentally a few times as though hoping the words would just fall out themselves.

"I wanna be your friend."

"What the fuck did I say about hitting on me?"

"Not hitting on you, just wanna be friends 's all." Even Eren could acknowledge that he sounded like a petulant child as he said it.

"And why the hell would you want that? In case you haven't noticed I don't like people very much and I'm abrasive, sarcastic and rude."

"Yeah, but you aren't a bad person."

"You really, really don't know that and you really should go inside because I want to settle in."

"Huh?" Eren blinked a few times and looked at Levi with a confused expression.

"You look even more dimwitted than usual."

"Fuck off. Where do you have to settle?"

"Hanji and I are rotating shadowing you… or did you forget that there's more than one pack of lunatics looking to kidnap you?"

"Right, I'm just… fuzzy a bit at the moment."

"I was going to make fun of you there, but at this point it would be like stealing from a blind man."

"I'm drunk."

"I know."

"Is your fucking fault."

"Only a little."

"So where are you settling in?"

"Usual spot, protected bit of roof with a good view across the street."

"So do you actually have hawk powers then or something? Nesting instincts?"

"Get the fuck out of the car, go upstairs and make sure you get some sleep. Make my life easier for once."

"That's the closest to 'sweet dreams' gonna get isn't it? And you sounded like a grump not angry."

"Go the fuck to sleep, kid."

"You should just come inside. Warmer 'n shit."

"_You_ are drunk and dead on your feet and _I_ am not dealing with any of your bullshit." Levi looked at Eren, he had an air of mild dejection hanging over him.

"Warmer inside… not hitting on you, being a friend." Eren had his head tucked down now and was mumbling into his chest.

"I never said you were hitting on me so I don't know where you got that from unless you _are_ making an abysmally poor attempt at hitting on me." A hit of a smirk played on his lips.

"Stop being an ass, Levi." Eren's attempt at a glare ended up as a childish pout and Levi's smirk became more pronounced.

"Making that face isn't going to get you anywhere you know."

"Trying t'be nice is all."

"And I'm trying to avoid having to haul your ass upstairs and potentially getting thrown up on in the process. Get out; sleep, sober up, whatever."

"Fine. Coming up at some point though."

Levi attempted to wait patiently for Eren to get out of the car, but after a full minute of fiddling with the door Eren couldn't seem to get it open. Levi groaned and opened up his own door to step out and open the passenger side one. Eren barely caught himself as he clumsily toppled sideways out of the door.

"All the grace of a beached whale."

"Hey! We already said it that 'm drunk an' it's your fault."

"Kid, you've got ten seconds to get through that door or I'm dumping your body in the river."

"Okay, 'kay… put your hand up."

"I'm not fucking –"

"Up!" Eren's command was forceful and Levi decided to humor him in his drunken state and lifted his right hand so that it was level with his shoulder. Eren gave him what he assumed was an attempt at a high-five but which ended up being more like an attempt to swat Levi's hand away in the most half-assed way possible.

"Congratulations, that was the shittiest high-five I've ever seen. I'm going to leave before you decide you want to hug me."

"Would you let me?" His face was a pure expression of drunken eagerness.

"Fuck no." Eren went back to pouting and Levi couldn't hold back the soft smile at the comically exaggerated expression that Eren was attempting to pull off.

"Fine… g'night Levi."

"Night, brat."

Levi got back into the car and watched Eren let himself into the building before driving to park the car a few blocks away and doubling back by rooftop. He settled into the position that he had found a few nights ago that afforded a good view of the building and the surrounding area.

_Friends, huh? What a fucking weird kid._


	42. 42: Silhouette

**Continued typographical errors by our favorite drunk texter, Eren Jaeger**

**.**

Eren stumbled up the stairs praying that Mikasa was in bed early again. Unfortunately, luck was not on Eren's side; Mikasa was on the couch watching television when he entered.

"So how did meeting with the Survey Corps go? Did you kick shorty's ass?"

"It was uh… okay." He put as much effort as was possible into enunciating each word clearly and staying completely steady on his feet. His sense of balance, however, was uncooperative and he stumbled slightly as he accidentally shifted his weight to one side. Mikasa picked up on it immediately and her eyes narrowed into a glare.

"Are you _drunk_?"

"Mayyyyyybe a little yeah."

"Can I ask _why_ you're drunk?"

"I had few drinks while I was out."

"Are you serious? That's not a reason."

"I was really stressed out because Captain fucking Hands decided that maybe Grisha _disappeared_ instead of leaving and bullshit. I'm sick hearing that shit just… people turning him into the victim."

"So you got completely wasted because of that?"

"It was my fault also it wasn't"

"How the hell is it your fault and _not_ your fault?"

"Levi makes strong drinks like him and yeah I kinda drank the thing in about twenty minutes."

"I can't fucking believe you, Eren. I'm going to kick his ass twice as hard now and you can enjoy your hangover tomorrow and know that I will have zero sympathy."

"Shit, I have class tomorrow morning."

"Well then you should probably go sleep right now. And don't forget to drink some water. I don't want to have to listen to you bitch and moan tomorrow. I'm in enough of bad mood anyway since I've been stuck at home."

"Yeahhhhhh… gonna sleep now night."

"And _drink some water_."

"Yeah yeah."

Eren stumbled to the kitchen; no longer keeping the pretense of sobriety he allowed himself to run his hand along the wall and counters for balance as he made his way to the sink. He did something of a shuffle of shame back to his room, avoiding Mikasa's glare as he moved along. Once he was in the privacy of his own room he placed his water on the table and threw his bag on the bed before flopping down himself. It was only when he was already partially under the blankets that he realized that the light was still on and the switch was across the room. He pulled a pillow over his head and rolled over to avoid the light. He was starting to drift off when he felt his phone vibrate in his bag that he had forgotten to move off the bed. Moving the pillow aside he began blindly fumbling with his bag to find his phone and sat up to look at the message he had received.

Levi sat on the rooftop watching the building when he saw a slight shift in the shadows of the side alley. That it was a person was confirmed when he saw their silhouette as a light went on in Mikasa and Eren's apartment. Levi kept his eye on the area where the shadowy figure had retreated to as he pulled out his phone and began to tap out a message.

**[Asshole McFuckface:]** Are you in the room with the light turned on?

**[Eren:]**ye truong tp sllp

**[Asshole McFuckface:]** No idea what you just said. Go to the window and look out. Make sure you're visible from outside.

Eren pushed himself up and slowly stumbled his way across the room and over to the window. He pulled up the blinds and pulled his phone close to his face so he could focus on the letters.

**[Eren:]** the fuck soing. Wang to bellepf

**[Asshole McFuckface:]** Stay there.

He grumbled to himself and leaned against the window frame to steady himself. He touched his forehead to the glass and enjoyed the press of cool glass against alcohol-flushed skin. Lazy drunk eyes caught a flutter of motion in the alley below.

_Why the hell am I at the window? …he's using me as fucking bait for some creep, isn't he?_

Levi stared at his phone at the most recent message.

**[Brat:]** ye truong tp sllp

_What the fuck does that even mean? I guess "ye" is yes… I'm just going to assume that's a yes._

**[Levi:]** No idea what you just said. Go to the window and look out. Make sure you're visible from outside.

He watched for movement near the window, waiting to see whether or not Eren actually was in that room. He felt his phone buzz again and felt a small twinge of frustration as he had to take his eye off of the alley for a moment to read the message.

**[Brat:]** the fuck soing. Wang to bellepf.

_Good, the brat can text curses just fine while drunk but apparently he can't make a single word besides that completely intelligible. At least he's very good at being the idiotic potential target._

**[Levi:]** Stay there.

He saw the slight movement in the darkness as the unknown person came out into a more well-lit area in the alley. He saw Eren leaning half-dazed on the window and was momentarily thankful that Eren was drunk since it definitely was encouraging whoever had been hiding in the shadows below to come out further than they might have otherwise.

Even as Eren stared down with uneven eyes he saw the silhouette of a person come into a brighter patch of the alley to look up at them. He gave them a short goofy wave and saw the figure go momentarily stiff and then collapse. Eren's eyes flew fully open and came to clear focus on the body in the alley below.

Levi pulled out the tranquilizer gun that he had with him and took aim. His target was still partially turned towards him and he was forced to keep low and take a position with a less direct line of sight. He watched as Eren drunkenly waved with a goofy smile on his face and caught the attention of the person below his window.

_Thank you, kid._

He pulled the trigger.

He stared down at the body splayed out in the alley below with wide eyes and tried to make sense of what had just happened while he stood right at the window.

**[Eren:]** sid you ducking shooft hkm? !

A moment passed by.

**[Asshole McFuckface:]** Congratulations. I actually understood that.

**[Asshole McFuckface:]** Only a tranquilizer. Picking him up in a moment. Go to sleep kid.

**[Eren:]** wat

**[Asshole McFuckface:]** We'll talk in the morning. Drink some water so you're not a fucking hungover mess tomorrow.

**[Eren:]** fck you lecvi zim fibe

**[Asshole McFuckface:]** Water. Sleep.

Eren stayed at the window waiting to see Levi come to claim the body below. He watched as Levi slipped into the alley and hoisted the other person onto his back like they barely weighed anything. If he'd been sober he would have tried to dodge away from the window when Levi looked up, but instead he goofily waved out his window again. For a moment he thought Levi was waving back at him and his stomach gave a lurch unrelated to the effects of alcohol.

_Nope. He's flipping me off. That fucker._


	43. 43: The Second Shadow

Levi was forced to stop again to shift the dead weight of the man slung across his back into a more comfortable position. He was loathe to admit it but it wasn't the man's weight that was an issue, it was that he was too short to carry the man comfortably. He grit his teeth and shifted the man again, feeling his captive's head hit the wall next to him as he shifted him and making a mental note to check that he hadn't done any serious damage once they were back at the car. And that was the other source of his current frustration; the fact that he had parked the Survey Corps' car many blocks away in an effort to cloak his presence on that night rather than parking closer than he had the night before. He mused that it might have paid off and that's why he was carrying a small giant on his back, but at the same time the walk was truly hell. Grapple gear could handle two people if you knew what you were doing – and he did – but if one party was unconscious it was impossible regardless of how good you were.

When he finally reached the car he threw his captive bodily into the back seat, hearing a clunking noise as the man's head hit the door on the other side. He checked the zip tie restraints before getting into the car himself and driving away. He pulled out his phone; ignoring the unread message for the time being he called ahead to their headquarters in order to inform them that he had Eren's shadow in his custody. His only hope was that this was the only shadow out there tonight.

"Mike, is Erwin still around? … Okay well pass the message along that I have Eren's shadow – hopefully his only shadow – with me and I'm coming back… No, he's unmarked. We'll have to ask when he comes to… Tranquilizer gun, I think we have about forty-five minutes until it wears off… Yeah, probably about thirty… He's not bad, not good either… We'll talk more when I'm back… Okay yeah, just let Erwin know."

Levi ended the call and continued to drive, detouring back towards Eren and Mikasa's building to do a quick scan of the area. Seeing nothing that caught his attention he continued back to headquarters making sure that he took River this time instead of Washington.

"Oi, I have a small giant in the back seat of the car. I already had to get him into the car, somebody else get him out."

"Is he still out cold?"

"He was as of two minutes ago when I got out of the car." Mike nodded and walked outside.

"You're too short to carry him aren't you?"

"Shut it, shitty goggles."

"Did you drag him to the car?"

"No."

"So how did you do it?"

"I could carry him just fucking fine. He's just freakishly tall and so he's awkward to carry."

"And freakishly tall is what? Five foot six?"

"_Hanji._ I swear to fucking god I am not up for this right now."

"…You're in a mood, aren't you?"

"I had to carry a man who was nearly six feet tall three blocks to the car after dealing with a drunk brat."

"That last one is entirely your fault."

"Doesn't make it any less frustrating."

"Doesn't make it any less your fault."

"Fine. In a misguided attempt at helping him to not look like he was going to murder the next person who said 'Grisha Jaeger' I got him drunk and I made myself miserable. Karma's a bitch."

"That's the spirit!"

Hanji smiled at Levi while he stood with his arms crossed and glared half-heartedly back at them. They turned as they heard the door open as Mike carried in the still-unconscious man. Unlike when Levi was carrying him, there was no way that his head was going to hit the ground or get bumped into a wall. He walked across the room and through a door on the far side of the room along the same wall as the kitchen. Footsteps could be heard descending the stairs.

"Is Erwin there already?"

"Yeah, I'm about to head down with the antidote. I'm not planning on sticking around but I'm pretty sure that Erwin wants you there. Intimidation factor and all that."

"Right, because I just love standing there and glaring."

"You'd be doing the exact same thing except sitting if you were up here waiting for Erwin to finish questioning him. Don't even try to deny it."

Levi grunted and followed Hanji downstairs and they brushed past Mike who was already heading back up.

Erwin sat on a chair staring at the man in the holding cell. Levi took his customary position leaning up against the wall to Erwin's left. It was a tableau that they had set many times before. Levi hated being down in the area with the holding cell, it wasn't cleaned as often or as well as he liked and it was somewhat claustrophobic in spite of the ceilings being at such a height that Mike was perfectly comfortable walking around, never mind Levi. He usually chalked it up to the lack of windows, even though he knew that the claustrophobia that he felt had little to do with a lack of fresh air or natural light. He was simply here to go through the motions of playing the role of the attack dog on a short leash.

Sit back, bare teeth, growl; it was a well-rehearsed routine. The only variable was the other person's responses.

Once Hanji administered the injection to clear out the tranquilizer they left back up the stairs. The door closed with a thud of finality. No escape in a basement room with an unknown almost-assailant-almost-kidnapper. The man on the other side of the bars sat up and rubbed at his eyes harshly before looking up at them and blinking repeatedly. Upon fully opening his eyes he realized who was sitting across the bars from him his face paled and went slack in horror.

"You're – don't kill me!" _First words out of his mouth? Pathetic._

"We want information." _Don't deny his fear, but don't reinforce it either. Leave him guessing and keep wrong-footing him._

"I don't know anything!"

"Well clearly you know something if I shot you while you were sneaking around in an alley. What, were you out for an evening walk and got lost? Was the fact that you were also armed at the time a complete coincidence?" _Bare teeth._

"Hawk…" _Heel._

"I was there under orders, I was supposed to be shadowing the kid. Watching his movements, that's all I swear."

"You swear? I think that The Hawk made a very good point that you were very well armed and prepared. I'm sure that you're aware that the Survey Corps has been in the area, but I don't see why that would necessitate you having chloroform. If you're close enough to use it with any of us it's highly unlikely at you will get the opportunity to do so. You are in a similarly precarious position now, so please do not lie to us; it's only going to make this more painful."

"Look, I'm only acting under orders. I don't mean any harm to the kid okay? Just supposed to pick him up if I got the opportunity and bring him back for a chat."

"With who?" Levi watched as Erwin's eyes lit up, it was always a happy surprise when they got someone who was willing to be cooperative – as long as they actually knew something.

"Huh?"

"Who wanted to speak with him?"

"The boss wanted to."

"And who the hell is your boss and who do you work for, shit for brains? Ever think that those are useful pieces of information that might save your miserable life?" _Growl._

"I can't tell you that!"

"All that we're asking from you is who you're working for. Would I be correct in assuming that you're from the Military Police?" Erwin's voice was calm.

The man's eyes widened in shock.

"I'll take that as a yes and ask what you what Dawk wants."

"I don't know, I don't know! I never spoke with him directly, I was only told to grab the kid and bring him back. I didn't even think I'd be able to get him on my first night but his sister isn't able to move around too good and he –"

"Your first night at their apartment or your first night shadowing him period?"

The man startled at Levi's sudden interjection. Erwin glanced slightly at the side to him, giving him a quizzical look that quickly resolved into understanding.

"What we mean to ask is whether tonight was your first night shadowing, period."

"Shadowing the kid? Yeah, it was the first night. They sent another guy before me a few nights back but he couldn't do it. He skipped town rather than 'fess up to not doing shit but they'll get the rat bastard. He was inexperienced and he got cold feet so they came to me."

"And a fantastic shadow you are. Not noticing someone in a sniper's position on the roof directly across the street and stepping out into the light in the alley when there's no confirmation that the coast is clear."

Their captive shrank back towards the wall.

"Well, I think that wraps things up for the time being, but one last thing, what is your name?"

"Daniel."

Erwin stood up suddenly and Levi pushed off the wall to follow.

"Well Daniel, we'll be back with more questions later. We need to see if your story checks out but someone will be down with water in a moment."

Erwin turned to Levi after they had closed the door behind him.

"So he's not our original shadow? You saw someone else the other night, did they look at all alike?"

"No. Not at all."

"So there's someone else out there."

"Or there _was_ someone else out there. I doubt they just "skipped town" after taking a shadowing job with the Military Police. They aren't always the sharpest tacks, but that's suicidal."

"Yes, I think that's the lead to follow. Let's see what we can turn up on that before we talk to him again. My guess is that it's going to lead us to a very suspicious dead end that lacks a body."

"Definitely the Titans then, huh?"

"I'm already fairly certain. I only wish we'd got a hold of them first."


	44. 44: Guilt

**The chapter in which ALYNA officially achieves novel status! Woo!**

**.**

"So we have nothing to go on for tracking down this mysterious first shadow?"

"Well we know that his name was Tom and Levi has him pegged at five foot eight and a hundred and sixty pounds. Apparently preferred a knife to a gun, or at least for that job he didn't bring one."

"And he had a shit fighting stance."

"So somebody young and / or relatively inexperienced. It's not much to go off of but I'll try and see what I can dig up in the police records for bodies that have been recovered in the past few days. I guess I'll give the missing persons list a look as well, it's a bit of a longshot because his family may not have come what with him being involved in the Military Police but I'm sure there's _someone_ who cares about him."

"Thank you Hanji. Mike, put your nose to the ground and see what you can find. Somebody must know something."

"I'll try the usual people first but if we're dealing with the Titans we may not be able to get anything at all. Shaking people down about the Military Police or the Stationary Guard is one thing, but the Titans have brought brutality to a whole new level. I think we all remember what happened to the Special Operations Squad. Nobody else would have gone after them like that."

"Hm, well… see what you can find. The absence of information can be its own sort of information." Mike picked up his gear and grabbed car keys and a folder off of the table before heading out of the room.

"Thanks for the fortune cookie wisdom, Erwin."

"What has you in such a foul mood?"

"He's been like this since he got back."

"Shut up, shitty goggles."

"See? Bad mood."

"I'm exhausted, I had to carry a small giant on my back, I had to deal with a drunk kid –"

"Your fault."

"– fuck off, Hanji. And I should have taken down the first shadow rather than just scaring him off. In spite of being even less experienced than the asshole downstairs he probably knew more. Add that all up and you're really asking me why I'm in a bad mood?"

"Just don't let it interfere with your work." Erwin frowned, "but did you really have to get him drunk. We need information from him and it's difficult if the person we're trying to question is drunk."

"How many times do I have to say that I didn't expect him to down it in twenty minutes?"

"I don't know why you thought it was a good idea to begin with."

"Oh, so you didn't notice that the kid looked like he wanted to deck you every time you mentioned his dad? Because that's clearly a really touchy subject and him getting pissed off and clamming up is probably worse than him unclenching his ass because he has a bit of alcohol in his system."

"_Yes, I noticed._ I just hoped that he would be mature enough to realize that we need to have answers to these questions if we're going to help him and get rid of the Titans."

"Yeah, well news flash the kid is only twenty-one and has a fuck ton of issues that he decided to unload on me when I drove him home. Did you know that he lived in the Maria Wall apartments before the collapse and that he saw his mom die? Or that apparently he didn't finish high school and got his GED instead? And I'm going to bet that they left Shiganshina because the situation there has turned into a war between the police and the Stationary Guard." Levi's tone was flat and monotone as he glared evenly at Erwin. "Did you know any of that?"

"Aw, you care!"

"You try having someone drop that all on you while drunk like it's the most natural thing in the world to talk about and not be just a little concerned. It was disjointed as hell but he acted like he was reading off the weather report."

"You just don't want to admit that maybe you care a little bit."

"Fuck off." Levi turned back to Erwin and repeated his question more forcefully. "Did you know any of that already, Erwin?"

"No." His brow was deeply furrowed. "Even with a couple of days to look into it I couldn't find much more than that he lived in South Stationary, his father disappeared and his mother died when he was in high school. I had a hunch that he might have lived in the Maria Wall complex at some point, but nothing to confirm it and nothing more beyond that. Interesting that there's barely any trace of him or his sister having lived there in spite of living there for most of their lives…"

"That's definitely… odd."

"I can try to dig up some more on him while the results from the police database come back. It shouldn't be an issue to go back and forth between the two. Of course I'll give priority to figuring out our mystery shadow, but if there's a chance that Eren's background can tell us a bit more about what's going on and how his dad is involved I think it's worth me putting some time into it."

"Yes, I think that's a good idea. Thank you Hanji, I'll start reaching out to contacts in Shiganshina myself to see if we can dig anything up. Levi, get some sleep. I want you to shadow Eren tomorrow – well, today – during the daylight. I'm curious to see if either the Military Police or the Titans have somebody shadowing him during the day as well."

"Perfect, just what I need. More quality time with the brat."

Erwin sighed and stepped away to a more secluded area to start making phone calls and sending emails to various contacts.

"It's unexpected that you would actually care, but I guess it's not shocking that you would empathize just a little bit given everything..." Hanji spoke quietly even though there was nobody to hear them.

"Don't go there." Levi's body tensed up, muscles and skin pulled taut. Hanji gave him a soft smile.

"Just don't go breaking his heart; caring and then pushing him away. You said it yourself, he has a lot of issues that have clearly affected him pretty strongly. I wonder if he'd be any more willing to talk openly if it were simply for my research and I wasn't talking about his past too directly. And don't go knocking my research."

He ignored Hanji's comment about the kid in favor of picking nonexistent lint off of his sleeve. After a moment, he looked up at them again.

"Who said I was going to knock your research? Your experiments are annoying as hell and sometimes really weird but we all know that you've got some useful stuff out of it. Anyway, I'm going to get some sleep downstairs on the couch."

"Alright, I'll make sure you don't sleep past seven."

"Thanks."

Levi went down to the pseudo-apartment to get some sleep on the couch. He would only get a few hours but it was better than nothing if he was going to be following the kid around all day. In his exhaustion, he dropped his guard slightly and his mind dragged him backwards; a second and third round of questioning, going over theories and hunches and potential investigation angles, everything. It was all a blur. He shifted and turned over repeatedly in an attempt to get comfortable enough so that he could fall asleep.

"I wasn't expecting to be able to grab him the first night, but his sister is injured and he was out of it. Didn't think about maybe someone else was there."

_I royally fucked up on that. If I hadn't been there… if he hadn't been drunk… fuck that would have been a shit show. Erwin would have dragged me over the coals for that._

"…pretty much on my own except my sister since I was fourteen."

"…he was out of it."

"Also lived in Maria Wall… My mom died… Couldn't lift the things… We moved to Trost five years ago… Didn't graduate, got a GED instead."

"Cart blanch as long as he was alive when I brought him in. I was told I could incapacitate him however I needed to, he just needed to be able to answer questions."

"Just me an' Mikasa… my sister… on my own except my sister…"

Levi couldn't get comfortable on the couch. It was old and there was that one spring that was popping up that would jab you in the back or the ass regardless of how you were laying down. His face kept sticking to the beat up fake leather and the room was at just the right temperature for his skin to feel clammy and damp. He got up to go and raise the temperature on the thermostat. Laying back down with the spring in his back he tried to fall asleep as he heard the heat turn on. He felt tired and yet he couldn't sleep and the frustration that he felt was building.

"… as long as he was alive when I brought him in. I was told I could incapacitate him however I needed to..."

No, it wasn't frustration.

It was guilt.

_Sorry kid, I fucked up._


	45. 45: Texts from this Morning

"Eren? Eren. You need to get up for class."

"Noooooo. My head hurts."

"You're going to miss class!"

Eren rolled over and burrowed further under the blankets while pulling a pillow over his head. His head was killing him and he couldn't remember why.

"_Eren._ I _will_ tell Mikasa that you aren't up yet and she will kick you out of bed – literally."

"Armin, I can't." Eren was mumbling from underneath his pillow, his voice muffled but audible. "I'd probably throw up in class." He heard Armin's staticky sigh, one of the few things verbal tics that Marco hadn't been able to perfect in Armin's speech codex.

"Then at least email your professor? You also need to set up a meeting with your adviser to discuss your thesis topic."

"I'll do it tomorrow."

"EREN!"

"Ouch. Armin, keep it down."

"Sorry but your deadline is coming up really quickly and what if you need to come up with something else. And don't forget that you need to provide research materials to back it up and you haven't done any of that yet. You don't even have a topic at all! You really should go to the library today…"

"Already came up with a topic last night."

"Really? That's great, Eren!" Armin's voice got louder and pitched higher in his excitement, Eren cringed.

"Yeah. Still need to do research but I have notes and everything."

"You still need to email your professor and adviser."

"Alright, alright I'm getting up."

Eren slipped out from under the covers, groaning as the light streamed in through one of his windows.

_Why the hell are my blinds –?_

The night before came back full force.

_There was someone outside in the alley and clearly I was his target. And Levi got him. I wonder who he was and who he was with. If both the Titans_and_the Military Police are after me they could have been sent by either. They were kind of an idiot though, even I noticed them once I got to the window and they came out into the light and everything. I am so sick of dealing with this shit._

Eren stumbled out of his bedroom and towards the bathroom. He could hear Mikasa in the kitchen and was resolved to avoid her for as long as possible. She was not kind when he had a hangover. He attributed it to the fact that she had never had one herself and couldn't possibly understand the misery that he was going through. He was grateful for the fact that while he _was_ nauseous he knew that he wasn't going to throw up. Soaking his head under the cold water faucet helped to wake him up a bit and he made his way to the kitchen, hoping that the pain relievers kicked in sooner rather than later.

Mikasa was sitting at the kitchen table sipping a mug of coffee, ignoring him as he walked in.

"Hey, I'm sorry about last night. I didn't mean to get drunk or worry you."

She continued to stare ahead over the rim of her coffee mug.

"Are you really going to give me the silent treatment?" Mikasa sighed and put her coffee down before turning to face him.

"I was worried about you. Wandering home drunk? What if something happened?" She ducked her head and pulled her scarf up over her nose, her voice quieter now. "I can't protect you right now so please don't take any unnecessary risks. I can't lose you too."

"Mikasa…" Eren pulled her into an awkward sideways hug. "I'm fine. I think they might be even more protective than you. Difficult as that might seem."

"Oh yeah? I don't think that's possible." She laughed and Eren smiled.

"Well, I keep offering to take the bus back and they keep insisting on driving. Although apparently Dr. Scientist and The Hawk have been swapping off staking out our apartment so –"

"Wait. _What?_" Mikasa pushed him away so that she could glare up at him. "You never mentioned that people are sitting outside watching us."

"Oh uh yeah. Apparently there's a good place on a roof across the street where you can see the alley really well. And the front door to the building as well. I bet they're glad there's no back entrance."

"That's still really creepy. I don't like the idea of someone peering through our windows even if it is to keep you safe."

Eren moved away and put some toast in the toaster. He almost poured himself a cup of coffee before realizing that it probably wouldn't sit well in his stomach.

"Well I'm okay with it if it means I'm not going to get kidnapped again." Eren spoke warily as he continued. "I'm pretty happy that Levi was around last night." Mikasa's eyebrows drew together.

"Why?" Her tone was sharp.

"Last night there was someone in the alley." He shifted anxiously, hoping that she wouldn't blow up as he continued. "They were probably here for me. Levi texted me to walk over to the window to draw him out and got him with a tranquilizer."

"He used you as _bait?_" She practically yelled the last word and Eren brought his hands up to cover his ears, his headache had been dissipating but now it was back. Her glare was positively murderous. "Isn't he supposed –"

"Mikasa, please just stop for a second?" He could see the pain and anger simmering in her eyes. "He knew that they were there and _yeah_ I guess he used me as bait, but it was so he could line up a clear shot to knock them out so the Survey Corps could question them. I'm fine with him asking me to stand at a window if it means not being kidnapped _again._"

Mikasa looked slightly mollified and she picked up her coffee and took a sip.

"_Fine._ He did a halfway decent thing." Eren grinned, he knew it was the best that he was likely to get from her.

"Well I'm going to take my toast back to my room so I can send some emails and take a nap."

"Don't you have class today?"

"Uh… I'm not going. I'm emailing my professor to tell them why I wasn't there."

"_Really, Eren?_"

"Hey, you've never had a fucking hangover. I feel like death warmed over right now. If I take a nap now I might be able to make it to my afternoon class."

"And you're going to tell your professor what? That you have the flu?" Eren laughed at her concerned expression.

"I've had Johnson for three years, I can tell him that I have a hangover and he'll be fine with it. I haven't missed a class so far this semester and I didn't miss _any_ last spring."

"Alright, I'll keep the television quiet so you can sleep."

"Thank you so, so much."

Eren picked up his plate of toast and filled up a water bottle to bring back to his room.

He tossed the water bottle on the bed before placing his toast on the table next to his bed and grabbing his laptop to bring back to the bed with him. He created a blanket nest while his laptop started up. He found his phone in the pile of blankets and realized that he had multiple unread text messages and a call that he just barely missed. He opened up the messaging application and his eyebrows knitted together in momentary confusion.

**[Asshole McFuckface: 07.48]** Let me know when you wake up. Dear Leader wants me shadowing you during the day.

**[Asshole McFuckface: 07.59]**Hanji said you have class at 8.25 so get the fuck up.

_How the hell does Hanji know when my classes are!?_

**[Asshole McFuckface: 08.07]** Did you drown in your own vomit?

**[Asshole McFuckface: 08.13]** Fucking text me back brat.

**[Missed Call from Asshole McFuckface: 08.15]**

**[Asshole McFuckface: 08.16]** I swear to fucking christ if I don't hear back in five I'm kicking your door in.

Eren stared at the log of texts and the missed call before coming to and responding himself.

**[Eren: 08.18]** i was in the bathroom then the kitchen. too hungover for class.

The response was almost instantaneous.

**[Asshole McFuckface: 08.19]** Keep your fucking phone on you.

**[Eren: 08.19]** sorry i'm not exactly fully functional rn

**[Asshole McFuckface: 08:20]** Well at least I can understand your texts now.

Eren scrolled up to look at the text messages he had sent the night before.

**[Eren: 08:22]** oh wow i really wrote those

**[Asshole McFuckface: 08.22]** Yes you did. Congratulations.

**[Eren: 08:23]** so what ended up happening with the person?

**[Asshole McFuckface: 08.24]**I took them back to HQ for questioning. We didn't get too much out of them.

**[Eren: 08.24]** and what does 'questioning' mean?

**[Asshole McFuckface: 08.26]** We asked them questions. What do you fucking think we did?

**[Eren: 08.29]** sorry. gonna take a nap setting an alarm for noon

**[Asshole McFuckface: 08.30]** Call me when you wake up and don't choke on your vomit in your sleep. I don't want to explain that to Dear Leader.

Eren set his phone aside and sent off a quick email to his professor letting them know why he wasn't in class and sent another to his adviser asking to set up a meeting at the beginning of the next week to discuss his thesis. Once he was finished he set his laptop on the floor and curled up in his blanket nest. He was asleep before the last text message arrived.

**[Asshole McFuckface: 08.46]** Don't fucking forget to call me when you wake up, Eren.


	46. The Fall of Shiganshina Pt 3 (Escape)

Too much that he had been trying for years to forget was bubbling up to the surface.

Even sleep couldn't chase away his thoughts.

Eren hadn't meant to say as much as he did to Levi and he could only be glad that he had only given him the highlight reel rather than the full story. The years after his father left were filled with bad luck and bad memories. His mother's death had affected him and Mikasa profoundly; the Maria Wall tragedy sent aftershocks through South Stationary for almost a year after. He supposed that everything that was happening in Shiganshina today was still related to what happened that day, albeit in a more roundabout manner.

South Shiganshina was turned upside-down after Pixis died.

Every street corner, every alley, every doorway became dangerous. Who lurked where and whose turf were you on and how likely was it that you were going to get stopped. On the other side of the doors and the windows a world steeped in violence – manufactured and natural – festered. Criminal and criminalized alike shared the streets and dodged the law. It was a battle that couldn't be won; both sides were too invested and pockets ran deep and the casualties were the very people the Stationary Guard used to protect.

After the collapse it had been Hannes who took the both of them in without question.

Eren still felt regret over what happened. That he had blamed Hannes for his mother's death, that he had lashed out so harshly at him, that he had refused to acknowledge anything in spite of what he was doing for them. He regretted not being able to thank him in the end. He had done so much more than he needed to.

He had told them that if anything ever happened to him there was a deposit box at the bank for them.

They expected the money, they didn't expect everything else.

Most especially the letter.

Or rather, the contents of the letter.

Eren Jaeger and Mikasa Ackerman didn't exist; over the years he had ensured that as much could be destroyed as possible. If anybody went looking for them they were both born in Shiganshina City Hospital, they had attended South Shiganshina High School, their mother passed away shortly after Eren and Mikasa entered high school, Mikasa graduated and Eren didn't. The only real loose end that couldn't be tied up was the existence of their parents and even then, he had done his damndest to purge records where he could. Grisha Jaeger – worked in a lab and as a local doctor and one day he left. Carla Jaeger – died in the Maria Wall collapse, her father emigrated from Andalusia when he was twenty-five and her mother from Turkey when she was only eighteen.

If anybody asked around they might be able to find out that Eren got into fights a lot or that they had a friend named Annie or that Mikasa had made herself Eren's protector. These were all things that proved they lived there but provided nothing by way of substance if ever someone wanted to find them. There was nothing about the circumstances under which Mikasa became a part of the Jaeger family. There was nothing that intimated that Mikasa might have any sort of powers. There was also almost nothing that linked them to Maria Wall.

Their entire pasts had been expunged and they could walk free.

He had left them contact information for a man in Trost who could help them land on their feet.

There were also photographs.

Soft and warm colors, all taken in recognizable places in South Stationary – or at least they used to be. Carla Jaeger in her late teens; youthful and vibrant and laughing. Each photograph taken by the eye of someone who loved her. The final photo was Carla and Hannes; they were both smiling but the way that he looked at her...

It fell into place then.

Why Hannes watched out for them so closely compared to the other children in the area.

Why he was always there to help when Grisha wasn't.

Why he took them in without even considering other options.

Why he spent an unknown amount of time and money purging their existence so they could move on when the time came; he had given them a way out.

He kept turning it over, how different would things have been after Grisha left if his mother and Hannes… He never would have accepted it then. Knowing what he did now he wished that things had gone differently but even years after Hannes had taken them in he still held out hope for his father's return. He wished that he'd given a chance to the man whose body was found behind the Guardsman's Pub. Instead he had spent three years lashing out at someone who chose to honor the dying wish of the woman he loved even though it meant her death.

If Mikasa noticed that he silently cried himself to sleep that night she never brought it up.

A week later they disappeared into the night.

Two backpacks.

An address.

Leaving behind a world shattered to pieces.

It was another new beginning.

An escape.

**.**

**Okay so I really want to make sure that this is clear: _Hannes is not Snape._ He legitimately loved Carla and never resented the fact that she married Grisha because he never worked up the nerve to tell her that he loved her and he just wanted her to be happy. Even before Grisha left he helped keep tabs on Eren for her because yo, kid got into trouble a lot.**

**After Grisha left he knew that Carla had too much to worry about without getting into any sort of romantic relationship and so he tried to help out with apartment repairs and making sure that Eren and Mikasa were safe because she was working full-time but her schedule rotated so she wasn't always home when they were. When she died it was never a question about him taking in Eren and Mikasa and keeping them safe and just... _I have a lot of feelings about ALYNA Hannes._**

**(I've always headcanon'd that Hannes had a thing for Carla so heck yeah I'm going to write it)**


	47. 47: At the Diner (Part 1)

Eren was proud of himself for waking up fifteen minutes before his alarm was set to go off. Feeling less awful than he had when he first woke up, Eren downed the rest of the water in his water bottle but ignored the remaining slice of toast before heading off to shower. Mikasa was still on the couch with the television on, but had fallen asleep. He was amused by how much she had been sleeping recently, but he figured that it was just her body working to heal her injuries. She would inevitably take the neck brace off tomorrow even though both Eren and Armin would advocate for her waiting a few more days. Before getting into the shower he took a few more pain relievers; his headache was fading fast but he figured that it would be best to take more now rather than wait for it to potentially kick in again once the fogginess of sleep had cleared his mind and senses. The hot water sluicing through his hair and down his body helped to further dispel the effects of his hangover. He could feel himself getting sleepy again underneath the steaming water and briefly turned the water to lukewarm to shock his body into wakefulness – it worked too well and he hoped that he hadn't just woken Mikasa up with his spluttering and cursing.

Getting out of the shower he brushed his teeth to get rid of the less-than-pleasing taste of a hangover. As he did so he checked out his injuries in the mirror, poking and prodding at various places on his face. The cut on his eyebrow had healed and the cut on his lip had closed up almost completely. The bruises were still there but were fading fast leaving only a few greenish-yellow blotches on his skin; the flesh was still tender but nothing particularly serious. At this point he could easily put cover-up over them if he was so inclined. His friends teased him about it on occasion but in Shiganshina he had learned quickly that appearances were everything and unless you were a known fighter, bruises only singled you out for further abuse. You were marked as weak – an easy target. He hadn't bothered the other day, but with his flesh no longer as tender and the yellow-green marks giving his face an oddly diseased look he began to dab it on and tried not to think about what Jean would say if he walked in right then.

As he exited the bathroom he let out a sigh of relief that he hadn't woken up his sister. Or if he had woken her up she had fallen back to sleep while he fussed over his face. Returning to his room he looked at his phone and realized that he had missed messages.

**[Asshole McFuckface: 08.46]** Don't fucking forget to call me when you wake up, Eren.

**[Asshole McFuckface: 12.08]** I'm going to assume that you went to take a shit. Call when you see this.

Eren looked at the alarm clock and saw that it was only 12.10 and that he had only just missed Levi's text. He pulled on a pair of boxers and gave his hair another vigorous rub with the towel before sitting on the bed and picking up his phone to make the call.

It only rang once before Levi picked up.

"So how was your shit?" Levi's tone was sarcastic and Eren rolled his eyes.

"I woke up a bit early and decided to take a shower."

"Good, I won't have to wait for you."

"Why would you have to wait for me?"

"Because we're going out for lunch… though I guess it's breakfast for you."

"Awww, I thought you said you weren't interested?" Eren couldn't help but tease him and it was far easier to be so casual when they weren't face-to-face.

"Fuck off, brat. I haven't eaten, there's a diner nearby and I'm going to bet that as a college student you aren't going to turn down free food."

"You're paying? Definitely a date." He heard a growl on the other end of the line and immediately backtracked, he wasn't mentally present enough to continue down this road. "I'm kidding, calm the fuck down."

He tensed and waited for an angry retort, but instead of an actual response all Eren heard was a few seconds of static before he got an actual reply.

"Just be downstairs in ten minutes."

"Yeah, okay."

He heard the faint click of Levi hanging up on the call and immediately went into motion getting dressed pulling on jeans and t-shirt and throwing books for his afternoon class in his bag along with anything else he might need. He was about to leave his room when he remembered to grab a sweatshirt. Before heading out the door he picked up the pad of paper on the coffee table and was about to write a note explaining where he was when Mikasa woke up and lifted her head up to look at him, eyes groggy with sleep.

"Where're you going?"

"Going to the diner and probably going to the library after and then class."

"Mmkay. See you tonight then."

"Yeah, go back to sleep."

She was asleep again almost as soon as her head was back on the pillow. Eren grabbed the blanket off the back of the couch and threw it over her so that she wouldn't wake up cold. Just before walking out the door he turned around and called out softly.

"Armin?"

"Yeah, Eren?" His tone was equally soft.

"Remind her where I am in case she forgets?"

"Of course."

"Thanks. I'll probably be back around six."

He noticed that it had already been almost fifteen minutes by the time he was downstairs and heading out the building's front door. He could see that Levi's car was sitting across the street and that Levi was sitting on the hood of the car dressed in street clothes and carrying a backpack with the same baseball cap pulled low over his face again.

_He looks really young dressed like that and sitting on his car. He looks more teenager cute than adult attractive right now._ He smirked a little at the thought of what a much younger Levi might have looked like and wondered just how old Levi actually was. All he could really guess at was that he probably looked younger than he actually was.

"Sorry I'm a bit –" Levi held up a hand to stop him.

"At this point I expect you to be five or ten minutes late." Eren ducked his head to look at his feet before responding, mildly embarrassed that Levi expected him to be late.

"Sorry." But when he looked up again he realized that Levi had started walking and was already a good thirty feet away. "Hey, wait!"

He trotted to catch up with Levi, who turned around to wait for him. Levi walked at a slightly faster pace than Eren would have and he adjusted his gait to match, amused that Levi would walk faster in spite of his shorter stature.

"So we're walking there?"

"What do you think?" In spite of the sarcastic comment, Levi's tone lacked any real bite. "It's only four blocks away."

Eren wasn't surprised as they entered and sat down that Levi didn't remove his hat. The waitress gave them a bit of an odd look and sat them at a booth with a window (Levi's request) and rattled off the day's specials before leaving them with a pair of menus. Eren watched as Levi scanned the street carefully, taking in passersby and cars.

"So… can I get whatever I want?"

"Within reason, yeah."

"So what qualifies as 'within reason' eh?"

"Just don't order the entire menu."

"What if I ordered blueberry pancakes, a BLT, a strawberry shake and fries?"

"I'd ask if you're trying to kill yourself before you reach twenty-five."

"I was kidding."

"I hope so."

They lapsed into an odd silence as Levi alternated between looking at the menu and looking out the window and Eren alternated between looking at the menu and looking at Levi. Eren tried to figure out if he wanted to get his usual blueberry pancakes or if he wanted something else. He was definitely craving something salty and he doubted that a side of bacon was going to satisfy that craving.

When the waitress came back for their orders Eren decided on BLT and a Coke and tried to hold back a grin as Levi ordered grilled cheese and fries as well as a chocolate milkshake.

"So are _you_ trying to kill yourself before you're twenty-five?"

"That would be really fucking difficult considering that I'm twenty-nine."

"Oh." _Well I guess that explains a bit more about why he was so pissed off about me having a crush on him, he's more than a couple years older than me – I guess maybe it's more than he's uncomfortable with it?_

They stayed sitting in complete silence as they waited for their food and Eren fidgeted. He had thought that they had reached some semblance of comfort sitting with one another, or at least a level of not-completely-awkward. When the food arrived Eren waited until they'd both had a few bites before speaking again, watching as Levi used a fork and knife to cut up and eat his grilled cheese. He grinned and almost made a comment before remembering what he actually wanted to say.

"So why are you taking me out for breakfast?"

"How much do you remember about last night?" He hadn't been expecting that as a response and looked at Levi in confusion.

"Um, you took down a guy in the alley who was stalking me. What happened with that anyway?"

"No, before that."

"What do you mean, 'before that'?"

"The car ride back. Do you remember any of it?" Eren stared at his food, lost in thought as he tried to remember the night before.

"Not really? I think we got stuck in traffic?" Eren started worrying at his lip when he saw what might have been a look of concern on Levi's face. "What happened? Shit, I hit on you or something stupid didn't I? I'm really fucking sorry, I –"

"No." Levi interjected quickly. "You were actually really well-behaved considering the fact that you were drunk."

"Okay, so then what happened? Because you seem like you want me to remember and I'll probably remember eventually, but I'm still not quite there yet." Levi violently stabbed his grilled cheese to cut off another piece and Eren watched as he glared at his plate for a moment before his features softened slightly and he started to speak at his plate, not making eye contact with Eren.

"I'm the one who should be apologizing. I pushed you to talk about your past; it wasn't my place to pry. I also mentioned it to Erwin. In retrospect I shouldn't have said anything to him. I'm sorry."

Eren stared at him in shock, his mouth hanging open slightly. After a moment he closed his mouth, his jaw snapping shut and his teeth clacking together. He watched as Levi continued to look at his plate and push his fries around with his fork. Silence reigned.

_Is he serious? He's apologizing to me? I feel like I've entered some sort of parallel dimension, he said he was sorry about my face but this. He's sorry that he pushed me and then… I guess he feels like he broke my trust or something? What the hell did I even say? Oh fuck what_did_I say?_

"Levi, what did I tell you?" He tried to keep an external calm while he panicked internally. _What the fuck did I say that has him so concerned?_

"It was a bit disjointed, but you mentioned you lived in Maria Wall and your mother died in the collapse – that you saw her die. That you didn't formally finish high school. I'm guessing you left Shiganshina because of what's essentially an ongoing war between…" He shook his head slightly before finally looking up at Eren. "And I told Erwin. I didn't think about that until much later. That it wasn't my place to say anything."

Eren stared at him dumbstruck for a moment as he pieced together what Levi said against the vague snippets that he remembered from the night before.

"I mentioned Hannes as well. I don't know how much I said about him."

"From what you said it sounded like he rescued you and your sister from the fire."

"Yeah. He took us in after. We left for Trost when he died." _When he was murdered in a back alley. Probably by the very people who he mentored and trained._

Eren continued to sit still, further piecing together memories from the night before, the picture becoming clearer.

"I tried to give you a high five." He buried his face in his hands.

"A really shitty one too."

"I tried to invite you up to our apartment." He could feel his face going bright red now. "And I fell out of the car."

"Well I guess you didn't kill too many more brain cells if your memory is coming back. That's especially good since you don't have that many to spare to begin with." Eren groaned at Levi's sarcastic remark.

"Fuck you, it was a weird ni –"

Eren's head shot up and he stared at Levi.

"You told me you're from the Underground."


	48. 48: At the Diner (Part 2)

_"__You told me you're from the Underground."_

Last night he had hoped that Eren wouldn't remember him asking about his past, but when he'd woken up this morning he realized that what he really regretted mentioning was that he was from the Underground. He still couldn't believe that he had mentioned that. Trust the kid to remember that without any prompting.

Levi stared impassively at Eren; this wasn't a conversation he wanted to be having and it definitely wasn't a topic suited for a diner. If he was honest with himself, a diner was one of the most ill-advised locations to bring Eren if he was going to talk to him about what he had originally intended. He had bargained with himself over it; he wanted hot food that wasn't pre-packaged and he owed Eren something for last night. If he'd felt guilt last night as he went to sleep, it was nothing compared to what hit him when Hanji woke him up. The realization that he had told Erwin something that had been said to him not necessarily in confidence, but certainly not in a manner that implied that he could say anything to someone else. He was still turning over just _why_ he had told Erwin. He knew that Hanji was right, he did feel empathy for the kid – more than he really wanted to admit – and him telling Erwin was sort of strange 'fuck you' to a man who couldn't fully comprehend just how difficult it could be to talk about your past. A strange attempt to explain just how messed up the kid was and why.

No matter how focused on his own thoughts he was, he couldn't ignore the kid's gaze practically boring a hole in his head.

"Yes, I did. I also told you to drop it."

"You're the one who brought it up then to begin with."

"I shouldn't have."

"But you did."

"I'm not having this argument _again_."

"So how did you get me to back off last night?" Eren grinned at him. "We both know I'm a tenacious fuck so what the hell did you say to get me to back off. Say it again and I might."

His tone was teasing but Levi couldn't bring himself to even keep his frown in place. All expression dropped off of his face like water slopped at a window. He spoke, keeping his voice as affectless as his face.

"There's nobody else that can tell you about my past because they're all dead."

"Oh. Yeah." Eren's expression went from teasing to uncomfortable in a fraction of a second. "That would shut me up pretty quick."

"It did."

They both sat and picked at their food somewhat awkwardly.

_Okay, I wanted the kid to back off but I didn't mean to fuck him up again. But I guess he understands what that sort of loss is like, maybe even deals with it similarly. If repression were an Olympic sport…_

He looked at Eren and watched him a moment longer.

_Yeah, definitely repression or he wouldn't be so pissed at Erwin._

"So, there's an actual reason that I asked you to come to breakfast."

"You mean besides buying me apology breakfast?"

"Guilt is a hell of a thing."

"Why did you ask me to eat with you then? Besides guilt that is." He watched as Levi grimaced and looked like he was dealing with some sort of inner conflict. He waited patiently for it to pass.

"I think you have a right to know what's going on and not be completely in the dark. I don't think it helps you any if you know fuck-all about the situation right now."

"So you're just going to tell me everything?"

"I can only tell you what I know, but yes – everything."

"I'm getting the feeling that you're doing this without asking Erwin first." Eren's mood shifted and he was grinning at Levi.

"You have a right to know. It's your ass on the line right now."

"And it's a cute ass, isn't it?" A mischievous smile met Levi's glare and faltered.

"Don't push your fucking luck, kid."

_I don't need this. This was an awful idea. Why the hell did I ask him to go to breakfast with me? Kid, I may feel guilty but I'm sure as hell not going to fuck you._

"I was _joking_, Levi." _No you fucking weren't._ "Jesus, wake up on the wrong side of the bed?"

"I got about four hours of sleep on a shitty couch after questioning our favorite practically-a-dead-end stalker last night."

"So… what did you find out then? That's what you wanted to talk about, yeah?"

"He's not the same shadow as the one that was around the night you were with your friends."

"The night you showed up?"

"Yeah."

"So there's someone else out there?"

"Was. We're pretty damn certain he's dead."

"Why do you think he's dead?"

"They were both with the Military Police from what he said and I can't imagine that they would have people rotating trying to get a hold of you. Ideally a shadow trying to capture you knows your habits and swapping people out constantly makes that pretty damn difficult."

"You said that you and Hanji were swapping off shadowing me."

"It's ended up being pretty much just me. Hanji just got a ton of shit that they need to research thrown at them that they're trying to get through. And even if we were rotating we're not trying to capture you so there's a lot of shit that we don't have to care about."

"Like what?"

"I don't need to know that you usually eat cereal for breakfast and roughly when you've run out so that I can nab you while you're out grocery shopping."

"Do you actually know that I eat cereal almost every morning or was that a stab in the dark?"

"You're a college kid, I expect you to not be able to cook and eat like shit. I bet you even eat Lucky Charms."

"Okay first off, I can cook really well, I just don't always have the time. Second… I prefer Cocoa Krispies." Eren paused a moment and a thoughtful look crossed his face. "Does that tell you anything useful about me if you were trying to kidnap me?"

"Maybe." Levi shrugged. "But probably not. Either way, you wouldn't have multiple people wandering around trying to kidnap the same person so we're pretty sure that this first shadow was dead, especially since he apparently 'skipped town' or some shit. We can only assume that it was the Titans who took out the first guy."

"You don't know anything more than that?"

"About why the Military Police are after you as well? Unfortunately, no. Not only was last night was the first night he was shadowing, he also didn't know shit. Presumably because his predecessor met an untimely end and they didn't want any potential leaks."

"What about whoever was watching the night Hanji picked me up from the lab building? I know that there was someone there even if I couldn't see them."

"Whoever that was… well, they weren't Military Police. The first person they had after you was clumsy as fuck so I can't imagine that they would have been able to keep themselves that well out of sight that Hanji _or_you wouldn't notice them."

"Hanji and Mike checked out the area the next day and found nothing useful. So that's a shitty dead end as well."

"You know, you're really just telling me that you don't know shit."

"Exactly."

"What the hell does 'exactly' mean?"

"That even _we_ don't know what the fuck is going on and you need to keep an eye out and not do anything stupid."

"Great. Super useful. Thanks, Levi." Eren huffed and crossed his arms as he leaned back further into the booth.

"And Erwin's been hounding you about Grisha." He heard the small growl that Eren made and chose to ignore it. "Even I'm a bit in the dark on that, he's keeping his cards close to his chest and I'm not too thrilled about that myself." He watched as Eren sat up and moved closer to the table, a bit more interested in what Levi had to say.

_Erwin probably doesn't want him knowing much more but fuck it, he has a right to know._

"I can only really say that Erwin is pushing pretty hard to find out just what your father was working on before he left. I know it can't be easy to talk about your past, but give us something to work with. Stonewalling us does nothing to help your situation or ours. If you'd prefer to write things down rather than talk then do that."

"Yeah, that might work better but then I have to look at what I'm writing and I really don't want a physical reminder, even if I am handing it over straight to you guys."

"So then record yourself talking, I really don't give a shit." He watched Eren fidget and shift around in his seat a bit, looking down at his hands and cracking his knuckles.

"Would it be okay if I talked it over with you? I'm not really comfortable with Erwin or Mike and Hanji would probably start talking about something random, wouldn't they?"

"Hanji is a very good listener when they want to be. Sometimes they just get carried away. I'll see when Hanji is free."

"Didn't I just say that I was more comfortable talking to you?" He could see the muscles near his jaw tense as Eren grit his teeth.

"Yes, and I think it would be better if you talked to Hanji."

"What, don't want to be around me because I have a crush on you? Which by the way, I'm an adult and I can separate that out if I need to, asshole." His voice was rising in volume now.

_Fucking hell, kid. Don't cause a fucking scene._

"Keep your voice down, brat. And I'm saying you should talk to Hanji because they're a better listener than I am and a hell of a lot more tactful." He sighed and continued. "But if it would make you feel more comfortable then I can be there too."

_I don't need this empathetic bullshit._


	49. 49: Potluck

An unexpected upshot to meeting with Levi had been that in addition to the both of them trying to be more comfortable with one another, Levi was also able to get the rest of the Survey Corps to back off for the time being. His only contact with them since breakfast with Levi had been via text between himself and Hanji and it was mostly just Hanji sending him photos of cute kittens or telling him "fun" facts about their research. Other than that, his life had been blissfully normal for the past few days. He met with his adviser and got his thesis approved, he worked on and finished his lab reports in a timely manner and now he was actually getting a chance to hang out with all of his friends. Every so often they would do this; the heroes would take a night off and they'd all pile into one apartment (usually Marco and Jean's) and do a potluck and play games, have some drinks and just hang out. Ymir would inevitably beat Jean at Mario Kart repeatedly and Marco would have to intervene before it came to blows.

The night started out somewhat more subdued given that everyone knew something big was happening with Eren and the Survey Corps. He had begun to question whether or not he should have told them that anything was going on since he wouldn't put it past Sasha – and Mikasa before she was even healed – to go chasing down leads. The more he thought about it, the more concerned that he got about whether telling all of them had been the right choice. He supposed that it made sense to put them on alert, but at the same time it also put them in danger and that was something that he kept circling back to. Mina had gone after Thomas not knowing what the situation was and she had never come back, neither of them had. He wanted his friends to walk in with their eyes wide open if it came to that.

Regardless of whether he wanted to talk about it or not, his friends brought it up first and wouldn't let him back out of talking about it.

"So are you going to update us on what's going on with you and the Survey Corps and those Titan guys?" Eren was honestly slightly surprised that Sasha had asked first given that they had only just started eating. All eyes had turned to him and were looking at him expectantly.

"Can we just finish eating first and I'll talk about it after?"

"Fine, if you won't talk then I bet Mikasa will tell us everything, won't she?" Mikasa met Ymir's smirk with a cold glare.

"I know almost nothing myself other than that he spends a lot of time with Dr. Scientist and The Hawk."

"I haven't seen either of them in days!"

"But they're still around aren't they?"

"…probably?"

"So _we_ can't see _them_ but they can see us. How can you be so comfortable with that, Eren?"

"Because I'd like to _not_ be kidnapped again."

Connie cleared his throat to get the attention of the arguing siblings and both turned to glare at him at the interruption.

"Just fill us all in already. You're the one who said that it was a good idea for us to know what was going on in case anything happens."

"Yeah, it's just…" _It's just that apparently the guy Levi took down was told he could use any means necessary to bring me in, they just need me to have a pulse._

"It's just that _what,_ Eren?" There was an edge to Mikasa's voice that made him cringe. He turned to the group to address all of them.

"There was a guy who was shadowing me a few nights ago and well, the Survey Corps" _I do_not _need people to find out about Levi_ "took him out and apparently he was under orders from the Military Police to capture me and bring me back to them."

"No offense dude, but that sounds like a day in the life of Eren Jaeger."

"Connie!" Sasha smacked him over the head before addressing Eren.

"But something's different this time, isn't it?"

"Yeah, they aren't doing it to get Mikasa's attention and he was told that he could capture me by any means necessary. They just need me alive enough to be questioned…"

Mikasa choked on her drink and Marco went to pat her on her back while the rest of the group stared at him with varying degrees of shock on their faces – they were local heroes, they almost never ran into the Military Police in any meaningful way and certainly never had to deal with anyone kidnapping Eren for any reason other than to try and lure Mikasa to them. This was different.

"And somehow this all relates back to your dad?" Eren resisted the urge to snap at Marco about calling him Grisha but bit it back in favor of elaborating, he figured that if he was going to have to talk about this with Hanji and Levi then he might as well start off trying to talk about it a little bit with people who he had known for years.

"Yeah, something that Grisha may have been working on. I still have no idea how this relates to me. Maybe he was supposed to deliver something to them and took their money and disappeared? And maybe they think_I_ fucking know where he is? Le –they didn't have much information for me. Apparently Commander Handsome is looking into things right now and doesn't want to say anything until it's clearer." _Which is kind of bullshit if you ask me._

"So you really aren't much better off now in terms of what you know than you were a week ago." Mikasa's eyes narrowed. "I thought you would have had _something_ given how much time you've been spending with them."

"So you've been hanging around with the freaks?" Ymir had an eyebrow raised, waiting for Eren's response.

"They aren't freaks!" Eren realized that he had been just shy of yelling and gave everyone a sheepish smile before continuing. "They've definitely got their quirks so I guess they're _interesting_ but they aren't freaks."

"What about The Hawk, he's pretty awful from what I've heard."

"He really isn't that bad." _Oh fuck…_ "I mean, at least he isn't constantly pushing me about Grisha. It's not like I can remember everything on the spot and Commander Handsome doesn't seem to get it; that it really isn't something that's easy to talk about." _Nice save, also completely true…_

"So he isn't as bad as his reputation makes him sound?" Ymir was leaning back into the couch now and Krista took the opportunity to rest her head on Ymir's shoulder.

"He's definitely still an asshole, but I honestly don't know what any of the rumors about him are…"He trailed off in confusion. Taking advantage of the pause in conversation, Krista looked up at Ymir who bent her head down to give Krista a quick peck on the lips before continuing.

"Well –"

"Hah!" Connie's sudden loud exclamation made everyone jump slightly. "I knew that the two of you were together!"

Everyone turned to look at Connie like he'd sprouted a second head.

"Well, duh. We've been together before we even met you guys." Ymir's tone was sarcastic but her face expressed incredulity.

"But the two of you never… you don't…"

"I think what Connie is _attempting_ to say is that the two of you are never particularly demonstrative with your affections."

"Wow Sasha, pulling out the big words."

"Shut up, Ymir. Seriously though, Connie… did you even need to ask?"

Connie was sinking lower and lower in his seat going bright red while Sasha and Ymir poked fun at him. Eren laughed; he had always sort-of assumed that they were dating even if they never said anything about it. He scratched at the back of his neck in discomfort and happened to notice that Krista was sitting on the couch looking withdrawn while Ymir and Sasha continued to tease Connie. He shifted his seat so that he was slightly closer to her.

"Hey Krista, are you okay?"

"What? Oh yeah…"

"You don't look okay."

"It's just… things. Old things."

"Like what happened sophomore year?"

"Something like that yeah. Ymir's being a huge help again, it's just… tough. Kind of like what you're dealing with I guess. I don't have all the answers." She let out a melancholic sigh. "I just really don't want to deal with my family is all."

"Oh. Family problems for the win?" He tentatively held out a hand for a fist bump. She gave him a small grin as she touched her first to his and shook her head.

"I should stop Ymir before Connie dies from blushing."

"Probably a good idea."


	50. 50: Cherry

It was that time of the night where everyone had tipped from buzzed into drunk. Mikasa was having fun taking advantage of her sobriety to beat everyone at Mario Kart. Eren was feeling far more relaxed than he had earlier and as he looked around he could see that Krista seemed to have cheered up as well as she elbowed Ymir for hitting her with a shell. Something though, struck him as off about the scene – about the whole evening really – but at this point he was just far enough past drunk that he couldn't quite place what it was.

When he surrendered his controller to Marco he realized that there was a forest of empty beer bottles on the side table. He sighed and decided to be the good house guest and bring the bottles to the recycling before Sasha knocked them over. He gathered up all of them and slowly made his way to the kitchen, trying not to trip over anything. He nearly dropped all of them in shock when he saw a silhouette sitting at the table in the darkened kitchen. He got a brief adrenalin rush from his momentary fright before recognizing the figure.

"Jean?"

He got a grunt in response and as his eyes adjusted to the minimal amount of light he could see that Jean had his very own forest of bottles on the table. Eren dumped the bottles in his arms in the recycling bin and was about to simply leave Jean to whatever he was doing when it hit him. The entire night he hadn't heard Jean speak even once. He had been there when they were eating but had sat off to the side, not participating in any conversation or in the prolonged teasing of Connie. He wasn't out on the couch playing Mario Kart and challenging Ymir to a fist fight; no super powers, no shape-shifting –house rules. Marco never let it get that far though.

He and Jean might not be friends in the strictest sense of the term, but they had mutual friends and had been hanging out together regularly in some capacity since their first year of college. He looked back at Jean, his head in his hands and slumped over the table. He might not be best friends with the guy, but he could at least make sure that he wasn't sick.

"Hey uh… Jean?" When he didn't get a response, he prodded at Jean's shoulder and repeated his name. "Jean? Hello, Earth to Jean?"

"What the fuck do you want Jaeger?" Eren was taken aback by the angry snarl and Jean's sudden swipe at him.

"I was just trying to see if you were dying, Horseface. Really gonna snap at me for being nice?" He watched as Jean grabbed the bottle closest to him and took a swig.

_Okay universe, you owe me some serious fucking karma points for this shit._

Eren pulled out the chair next to Jean and sat down, clearing away the empty bottles he realized that Jean had gone through almost a full six by himself. He carefully reached out to take the half-full bottle that Jean had been holding a moment before.

"What the hell are you doing?"

"Making sure you don't fucking die of alcohol poisoning."

"Fuck off." Eren caught a glimpse of his face in the light as Jean turned away and saw that his eyes were red-rimmed and glassy.

"Jean?" He took a quieter tone now. "Should I go get Marco?"

"No!" They looked at each other, taken aback by Jean's outburst. "No, that's… prob'ly the wors' thing t' do right now."

"Okay, I really hope I don't regret this but… do you want to talk?" Jean looked up and met his eyes. _Wow, he really has been crying. What the hell happened?_

"Not really, but yeah."

"What does that mean?"

"Really sucks when person y'like doesn' like you back. 'Specially like this."

"Did you seriously fucking ask Mikasa out again? What the hell, Jean?"

"Wha? What're you talkin 'bout? Marco. I told Marco I like him." Eren was left dumbstruck and staring at Jean, his mouth with slightly open as his brain tried to start functioning again.

"Marco? As in Marco Bodt? The guy who's sitting out there playing Mario Kart."

"Do we know any other Marcos?" Jean glared at him.

"Sorry, I just… I didn't know you liked guys?" _Okay, well my world just got turned upside down._ "I thought you liked Mikasa?"

"Huh? Yeah, she's pretty I guess but it's always been Marco." _Wow, you fucking asshole._

"So you asking her out multiple times freshman year was what then?"

"Wanted t'be normal."

"Oh." Eren chewed at his lip and an awkward silence dragged on. "Am I the first person besides Marco you came out to?"

"Yeah. Kin'a messed up huh? Shoulda known he'd shoot me down though. Shouldn've assumed he liked guys just 'cause he never dated women. It was stupid. Sorry, y'don't care an' I'm tellin' you this shit." He allowed his head to drop down onto the table making a thud and causing the bottles to rattle.

"Look, I get it okay? It's not easy and… just… I'm really fucking awful at this, okay?" He heard Jean give a watery chuckle.

"Always been shit at feelings."

"You're pretty awful too, Horseface." They both laughed quietly at the awful nickname that Eren had given him.

"Fuckin' hate it when y'call me Horseface."

"Sorry."

There was another awkward pause and Eren heard Jean let out a shaky breath.

"Y'know what it's like though yeah? Havin' someone not like you back?"

"Pretty sure everyone knows what that feels like."

"No, like now. That Levi guy – he's the The Hawk, yeah? – you like him but he doesn' like you." Eren gaped at him.

"Where did you…?" _No point in holding back now._ "Is it that obvious? Does everyone else know?"

"Nuh-uh. Saw you in the diner for breakfast. You were flirting, he wasn' happy."

"That's –" _Completely true._ Eren swallowed the lump in his throat. "Yeah, he doesn't like me back. I had a stupid hero crush on him, then he was an ass and I just wanted to fuck him –" Jean laughed "–shut up he's hot! But now… I think I actually like him, but I'm fine with being friends…" He trailed off and ended with a shrug.

"Same with Marco, 'cept he's avoiding me now. Shouldna said anything. We've been friends f'r so long and now…"

Eren heard him try and stifle what might have been a sob and did what would probably be on the list of the top ten most awkward things he had ever done; he pulled Jean into a hug.

"Life's shitty." Eren tightened his arms around Jean. "And you're going to be fucking fine because you're too much of a stubborn horse's ass to fall apart over a stupid crush."

"Not a crush. In love with him for years. Just couldn't…" Another huge shaky inhale. "I couldn't say it."

_Holy fuck, he's been in love with Marco for_years_? They've been friends since before they could read, I wonder how long… fucking Horseface making me give a shit. I mean, it's weird being around Levi and I've known him for two weeks, Jean has known Marco for almost two decades. What is that even like? Jesus._

They sat in their awkwardly slumped sideways hug for a moment longer before Jean shook himself free.

"Hey Eren?"

"Yeah?"

"Wanna make out?"

"Where the _hell_ did that come from?"

"I'm an emotion wreck?"

"That's not exactly a good reason to make out with someone. I think it's the opposite actually."

"Would you sleep with me?" Jean was looking at Eren, the picture of calm while Eren stared at him in shock.

"Okay, how much have you had to drink, Horseface?"

"Five an' half. Serious though, would you?"

"What like if we didn't know each other and met in a bar?"

"Yeah."

"Dunno… maybe? Depends."

"Depends 'n what?"

"Well I'm going to assume your face still looks like a horse so that's points off already." Eren ignored Jean's glare and continued. "Also depends on what you're wearing, my mood, your mood… honestly, it really comes down to how long it's been since I last got laid."

"When was the last time you got laid?"

"About six months ago? I think?" At this point Eren had decided to just roll with whatever Jean said since he seemed to be starting to feel a bit better, or at least he was acting like he felt better. "I don't remember his name… he was a grad student. You?"

"End of break party with this girl Kristi. She was in my summer course."

"Have you ever been with a guy? Or were you saving your first man-sex for Marco."

"No and fuck you, Eren."

"What, did you want to?"

"If I said yes?"

"I'd say it's an awful idea because you're sorting your shit out with Marco and we've both been drinking but I'm sober enough to know that it's an awful idea."

"So you aren't_totally_ not okay with it." Jean's smirk lacked some of its cocky effect when he had clearly been crying not too long ago.

"Jean, I am _not_ going to pop your gay cherry."

"Might make 'em jealous."

"Marco is straight and making Levi jealous would imply that he cared to begin with."

"Fine, but are we friends now? I feel like we should be friends now."

"I think coming out to someone and propositioning them after telling them you're in love with your childhood best friend and roommate is some kinda fucked up that results in friendship. So yeah I guess."

"Cool."

**.**

**Wryers over on Tumblr made fan art for ALYNA!**

**You know the drill on website addresses and junk now; remove spaces replace dot with .**

**wryers dot tumblr dot com post/92602091473/ive-been-reading-fanfiction-i-needed-to-churn**


	51. 51: What Are Friends For?

Eren woke up slightly groggy, he hadn't drank as much in a short period of time as he had on the night of the spiked milk incident, but he had been left with a mild hangover that consisted of a slightly fuzzy head and a mildly upset stomach. He thought about the night and how he had ended up actually befriending Jean in a couple of hours after knowing him and disliking him for over three years. The fact that they were both drunk and that Eren had the tiniest inkling of what Jean was feeling right then had given them a relatively neutral topic of conversation to start out with. In the end he could only conclude that the reason that they hadn't become friends sooner was that they were too similar in personality and that in retrospect he could understand Jean resenting the fact that he and Marco were able to bond over science-y things that he had no interest in or experience with. The more he thought about that part and the fact that Jean had said that he had loved Marco for years the more he wondered if their continued status as frenemies was stoked by jealousy on Jean's part. He was open about the fact that he liked men and spent time with the man who Jean was in love with, he could understand how that would affect Jean and subsequently their (lack) of friendship. It had been an interesting bonding experience; Jean's confession followed by propositioning him had been odd but funny. Even now he had to chuckle a little bit about it. What had followed had been an off mix of commiserating and actually getting to know one another.

After half an hour he finally decided to leave the warmth of his bed and head to the kitchen for breakfast. Mikasa was already sitting at the table and sipping a cup of coffee.

"So on a scale of zero to freshman year the morning after Spring Fling, how hungover are you right now?"

"Compared to the morning after Spring Fling? Not even a one. Why? I didn't drink too much last night."

"You spent the last few hours we were there talking to Jean. I thought that you were so hammered you thought he was someone else."

"No, I knew it was Jean. Unless he changes his mind when he wakes up we're sort of friends now."

"Who are you and what have you done with Eren?"

"Is it really so surprising that I would change my opinion of someone?" Eren's tone was slightly annoyed.

"No, except this is Jean and you've actively and vocally disliked him practically since you met him. What changed?"

"He was having a shit night and I was drunk enough to ask what was wrong and see if he was okay. We ended up talking and it turns out we have a lot in common." Eren shrugged and poured himself a cup of coffee.

"I could've told you that. Anyone could have."

"Yeah, but I needed to realize it for myself I guess?"

"So what was so awful about his night that you felt like you needed to ask and then stay with him? Definitely not complaining that you've buried the hatchet, just curious."

"It's private. He wouldn't have told me if we were sober and I'm going to respect the fact that he asked me not to say anything about it to anyone else. Even if we hadn't apparently become friends I wouldn't say anything about it."

"Looks like Marco should watch out." Mikasa grinned at him. "It looks like he's got competition in the best friend department."

_Marco would probably be thrilled since he can avoid Jean better if he's no longer his only confidant. It's weird to think about, being the person who Jean ends up talking to. I don't know that I'm the best person for it… Jesus Marco, get over the fact that he likes you. If he's been dealing with it for this long without any issues why freak out now?__What's actually_ _changed?_

"Maybe. Who knows?"

"Well either way, I think everyone is going to be happy that we don't have to make sure you're at opposite sides of the table anymore or that there has to be more than one other person with the two of you for you guys to not try and kill each other."

"Yeah, I feel really shitty about it now." _Being out and hanging out with the guy he's in love with and then me making fun of him constantly right in front of Marco… that must have been miserable. I feel like a fucking asshole now._

"Awww… my baby brother is growing up so fast."

Eren rolled his eyes halfheartedly and started making an omelet for the both of them to split.

It felt strange texting Jean for any reason other than to get in touch with Marco when his phone got crushed the one time but it would have felt stranger to not confirm that yes, they were indeed friends now and no, they were not going to be fighting anymore.

**[Eren:]** hey how's your head feeling? you went pretty hard last night.

He was practically holding his breath as he waited for a response. Looking at his clock he realized that it might still be a little too early to expect Jean to respond given how much he drank the night before. Rather than sit around and wait for Jean's response, Eren sat down at his desk and opened up his laptop to start working on research for his thesis. He knew that he would have to go the library later but wanted to do as much as possible from home while he could. Especially while his stomach was still settling after breakfast.

He'd been working for about an hour when his phone buzzed.

**[Horseface:]** I feel like I've been run over by a truck and my stomach is made of battery acid. I threw up last night right before I went to bed.

**[Horseface:]** Awkward question but are we friends or was last night a fluke?

**[Eren:]** yeah we're friends. are you feeling any better about things?

**[Horseface:]** Not really no, just not as keen on drinking myself into oblivion.

**[Eren:]** that sounds like a good thing actually

When he didn't get an immediate response he went back to working on his research. Fifteen minutes later his phone went off again.

**[Horseface:]** Sorry I disappeared. I just threw up again.

**[Eren:]** what the hell. are you feeling any better?

**[Horseface:]** What did I say? Run over by a truck and my stomach is battery acid. I feel like shit.

**[Eren:]** ginger ale and saltines?

**[Horseface:]** We don't have any and I can't do more than go between my bed and the bathroom.

**[Eren:]** is marco around?

**[Horseface:]** You really have to ask? He took off for the CS lab as soon as he could.

Eren held his phone in front of him and chewed on his lip as he tried to decide whether he was legitimately going to do what he was about to offer.

**[Eren:]** if i showed up in 20 or 30 would you be able to let me in?

**[Horseface:]** Are you shitting me?

**[Eren:]** tell me if you want more than ginger ale and saltines before I change my mind

**[Horseface:]** Since you're offering, we're almost out of ibuprofen and that shitty powdered chicken noodle soup is amazing for hangovers.

**[Eren:]**just don't be asleep when i show up

**[Horseface:]** Yeah, I'll set an alarm.

**[Horseface:]** And thanks. Seriously.

**[Eren:]** what are new old friends for? besides I was planning on going to the library later anyway

**[Horseface:]** Still, thanks.

Eren didn't respond as he started to pack up his things. He would be heading to the library a bit earlier than expected but it was difficult for him to ignore the fact that Jean was not only in a shitty place physically, but also emotionally. And his best friend had bailed on him first thing in the morning in spite of the fact that it sounded like he was going to be a wreck for the rest of the day. He paused and pulled out his phone again and looked up an entirely different contact.

**[Eren:]** are you shadowing me right now?

The response was almost immediate.

**[Asshole McFuckface:]** I'm in the area.

**[Eren:]** wanna drive me to the grocery store?

**[Asshole McFuckface:]** I'm not your fucking chauffeur, kid.

**[Eren:]** my friend has an awful hangover and i said i'd bring him some stuff and it would be faster if i got a ride

**[Eren:]** probably safer too if that's a concern

**[Asshole McFuckface:]** I'm not paying for shit. If you aren't at the corner of 104th and King in five minutes you're on your own.

**[Eren:]** got it


	52. 52: Unmasked (Reprise)

**So before everyone freaks out, Eren and Levi's relationship is going to have a kind of "two steps forward, one step back" sort of development because Levi is blunt and has zero tact or social grace and Eren just kinda talks without thinking it through 100% of the time. When I say slow build I mean "these nerds are going to take a while to get their shit together and you will probably want to bash them over the head at multiple points for being idiots."**

**.**

This time, Eren had been determined to actually be where Levi wanted him to be when he was actually supposed to be there. He ended up shouting over his shoulder at Mikasa that he was heading out while hopping around trying to get his shoes on. It wasn't until he was at the corner of 104thand King that he realized that his hoodie was inside out and he had forgotten one of the books he meant to bring. On the bright side (if it was one) he had made it to the corner in six minutes. He got there just as Levi was pulling up to the curb and he could see his lips part slightly in surprise that he was there on time. He could feel his own jaw dropping in response when he realized that Levi wasn't wearing either his mask or his usual hat. When they were at the diner he had tipped the brim up so that he could see Eren better and Eren had been able to see his features more clearly then, but not completely. Right now he could see the hat in the back seat on top of a black rectangular case. Eren had only allowed himself to stare for a few seconds before he caught himself and opened the passenger side door. He put his bag at his feet before getting in and stared resolutely ahead, refusing to look at Levi and waiting for him to reach back to grab the hat. Instead, Levi shifted into first gear and they started to drive.

"So where am I taking you? And don't get used to this, I was in the area and I feel pity for your friend with the hangover."

Eren continued to stare ahead out the windshield, not entirely hearing Levi._He doesn't have his hat on. Why isn't he covering his face? Does he trust me that much? Fuck this is making me nervous, is it okay to look at him? I mean, he's the one who chose not to put it on._

"Hey, kid."

_But what if he just forgot somehow? No that's bullshit, he wouldnt just forget. Right?_

"Oi, brat."

_No, stop thinking about this too much, Eren. Stop getting your hopes up. Yes, he's The Hawk and his secret identity is important but I bet that hat is really annoying. More annoying than me? That seems unlikely. But maybe not if he wants to be able to see –_

"EREN!"

Levi slammed on the breaks at a stop sign and Eren nearly went through the windshield. He turned to stare at Levi in shock and winced as he touched his clavicle where the belt had tightened at the sudden stop. He met Levi's glare and quailed under it, shrinking back in his seat.

"I asked where the hell I'm taking you. Be fucking grateful I'm not kicking you out of the car right now."

"S-sorry. There's a corner market a few blocks away go straight three blocks and make a left and it's two blocks down on the right." He rubbed at his clavicle again. "Did you really have to brake like that?"

"Well apparently trying to get your attention just by talking a few times didn't work. What the hell, kid?"

"You don't have your face covered." _No point in lying._

"I fucking hate wearing hats because they block my vision."

"Oh."

"Besides, I had it pushed up so far it was pointless at the diner and you've seen my face already so I don't see a reason to keep wearing it." He glanced over at Eren. "Jesus kid, I have my face uncovered because I want to, so stop looking like you're about to take a shit. Unless you need to, in which case get out of the car."

"No. It's just that it was kind of a disaster last time you had your mask off is all."

"That's an understatement."

"Sorry."

"Don't be. That's it over on the right?"

"Yeah. Um, are you going to wait or…?"

"I might as well pick up groceries for myself while we're here."

Levi parked and they both got out of the car. Eren grabbed a shopping basket was thankful that they seemed to be going to completely different parts of the store, at least to start off. He grabbed two sixes of ginger ale and a gigantic box of saltines before going over to the first aid aisle to pick up some ibuprofen and wishing that he had started out getting the lighter items first. He was halfway to the register when he remembered Jean's request for "that shitty powdered chicken noodle soup" and doubled back, hoping that it was in the soup aisle. He saw Levi was also there, glowering as he reached to try and grab something from the top shelf and came an inch short of touching it.

_He could totally reach that if he jumped. That would be fucking hilarious… Actually I guess that's why he isn't jumping. He seems to be a bit touchy about his height – not that I blame him._

Eren reached up to grab the can of soup for Levi and handed it off to Levi who then gave him a positively murderous glare.

"Worry about your own fucking groceries, brat."

"Right... I'm just going to grab a few boxes of shitty powdered soup and I'm done."

He turned around quickly and grabbed a bunch of boxes of the soup and practically sprinted to the register. He could feel Levi's glare on his back even as he was having his groceries rung up and waited by the door, hoping that he still had a ride to Jean's given that his bags were very heavy. Levi walked past him and out the door without a word and Eren followed closely on his heels, hoping that if he stayed close enough Levi wouldn't deny giving him a ride. He relaxed when Levi put his own groceries in the back seat and left the door open as he went around to the driver's side. He quickly threw his own in and got into the passenger's seat again. He gave directions to Jean's apartment to Levi as he started the car again.

"Do you eat anything that isn't canned or microwaveable?" He got a glare followed by an actual response.

"I don't like cooking."

"I love to cook when I have time." He could have stopped there, but he didn't. "You should come by the next time I make dinner!"

He clapped a hand over his mouth and stared wide-eyed at Levi's glare.

"I'm not try –"

"I'm not looking for a friend and I'm sure as shit not looking for a lover. Lay off, brat."

Eren lowered his hand from his face and clenched his fists in his lap, his entire body tensing up as he glared downwards.

"Maybe I'm just fucking trying to be _nice_ because I feel bad that you eat like shit. Maybe I'm offering because I know you're shadowing me a lot and I'd like to _thank_ you. Maybe you could fucking stop acting like a complete asshole any time I try to do something even remotely friendly."

The tension in the car had the both of them on edge. Levi was gripping the steering wheel so tightly his knuckles were white and Eren's body was so tense it looked like the slightest bump would shatter him.

"Fine." It came out as a snarl rather than an acquiescence. "Tell me and Hanji about Grisha and I'll eat your damn food."

"Promise?" Eren's words were similarly tight and yet tentative.

"Sure. Whatever. Just fucking set up a time with Hanji."

"You're supposed to be there too. _You_ offered."

"And unfortunately most of my days revolve around following you right now so pretty much any time that works for the both of you works for me."

"Okay."

They drove on in silence, the tension uncoiling slightly as time passed. It didn't take too much longer before they were stopped in front of Jean's apartment. Eren decided to plow through the remaining tension as he spoke.

"You don't have to freak out every time I try to do something nice or be friendly. I get it, you aren't interested in having anything even remotely approaching normal social relationships with people. Just don't bite my head off just because I actually understand how to interact with people and you don't."

The silence following Eren's words stretched out slightly longer than was comfortable. Eren got out of the car as soon as it stopped and grabbed his groceries from the back seat. He was reaching into the passenger seat to grab his bag when he heard Levi let out a long breath.

"The closest I have to a friend is Hanji. That's it and that's enough. If you want to be 'nice' that's fine, but please don't expect me to be your friend."

"What's so wrong with having friends?"

"Friends die."

He leaned over and pulled the passenger door closed and drove off, leaving Eren dumb stuck on the sidewalk.


	53. 53: Equivalence

**So in case anyone wants to bail now there will be character death in the future. I think I mentioned that in chapter one. Eren and Levi are 100% safe but that's really all I'm guaranteeing.**

**.**

Eren stood a moment longer on the sidewalk, his brain struggling to catch up with what had happened in those last few minutes he'd spoken with Levi. He was on autopilot as he pulled out his phone and spent a few minutes staring at it trying to remember what he was going to do.

_What's so wrong with having friends?_

_Friends die._

He shivered and remembered that he was supposed to text Jean.

**[Eren:]** standing outside can you let me in?

**[Horseface:]** Yeah, you took a bit longer than you said.

**[Eren:]** yeah sorry

**[Horseface:]** If I threw my keys down would you be able to let yourself in?

**[Eren:]** are you shitting me?

**[Horseface:]** The thought of walking up and down two flights of stairs makes me want to throw up.

**[Eren:]** fine. front window?

**[Horseface:]** Yeah.

Eren stood underneath the front windows of the apartment building and craned his neck upwards while shading his eyes with his hand. He had to wait a moment before he saw a window open and a set of keys get thrown down to him. He caught them and picked up the groceries again as he walked up the steps to the front door and let himself in. It was odd; he had gone in with Marco enough times that he knew that he had to jiggle the handle of the front door slightly while turning the key but this time he was walking up the stairs precisely _because_ Marco wasn't there. And to top it off he was there to see _Jean_ and bring him food.

He remembered to give the apartment door a heavier shove when opening it and carried the groceries with him as he walked to Jean's bedroom. The door was open and he stood in the doorway with no small amount of bafflement at the situation in which he found himself. Somehow he and Jean had become _friends._ He looked around the room in confusion – Jean wasn't anywhere that he could see.

"Jean?"

"What? I'm right here." Jean's voice came from under a pile of blankets on the bed.

"I didn't see you. You're kinda… buried."

"The light's giving me a headache. Also could talk a little softer?"

"Sorry." Eren continued at a lower volume. "Your shades are closed though."

"And that my friend, is how awful this hangover is."

"Ouch. I feel you there."

"I'm betting this probably comes close to how you felt after Spring Fling our first year."

"You know, that's the second time that got brought up today."

"Really? Who else brought it up?"

"Mikasa." Jean groaned as Eren sat down on the foot of the bed.

"I've got the spins really bad. Please don't shift around too much." He groaned again. "Why did Mikasa bring it up?"

"She was wondering if I was that drunk again since we spent a good chunk of last night talking in the kitchen."

"Wow. Good to know people are so shocked that we don't hate each other anymore."

"Yeah." Eren let a few awkward seconds pass before speaking again. "So do you want some ginger ale and crackers? You need to get out from under the blanket pile."

Jean threw off some of the blankets and sat up slowly, wincing as his eyes grew accustomed to the light. Once he was sitting in an upright position he and Eren stared at each other awkwardly. Moments ticked by as they sat still and Jean was the first to speak.

"This is _really_ weird."

"Oh thank fucking god it's not just me."

"Hand me a ginger ale and some crackers?"

"Yeah."

Eren dug around into the bag and stopped short of tossing the can and box at Jean, opting instead to simply place them on the bed before straightening up and handing them off. He watched as Jean's face scrunched up at the sharp noise from popping the can open and he took a long drink.

"Thanks." Jean's voice was weak. "I needed this."

"Have you had any water?"

"Yeah, a bit. I threw it all up almost immediately though. Some kinda fun this morning."

"That's really shitty. I can get you some water if you want…"

"I'll go to the kitchen with you and make the soup. You did buy that shitty powdered stuff, right? I swear it's like magic for hangovers."

"Salt dehydrates you."

"I don't fucking know, Eren. I feel better after I eat it. My mom would make it whenever I was sick and couldn't keep much down. Maybe it's all my head, but I really don't care."

Jean pushed off the bed and dragged the blanket he had wrapped himself with him as they walked towards the kitchen.

"Your mom's really nice."

"Yeah, she's also really annoying. She's always hovering. You know she used to come by at least once a week to drop off weird things like baskets of apples. Who shows up at their eighteen year-old's college to give them _apples?_"

"And you were always an ass to her." Eren pulled out a pot and clanged it down loudly on the stove, Jean winced and grabbed his head in pain.

"What the fuck, man? My head hurts."

"Well maybe you should be nicer to your mom! Not everyone has one you fucker!"

"Stop yelling! My head hurts, asshole."

"Fine." Eren was seething as he put the pot under the faucet to fill. "So what your mom tries to check on you a lot? She cares about you. She brings you fucking _omelets_ during finals because she gets worried you aren't eating enough. Appreciate the fact that you have a family that's there backing you."

"Yeah? And what if that family comes with having nice little talks every time they call or see you about when you're going to bring home a nice _girl_or settle down? Am I going to be successful with my degree? Is my future secure? Not all of us can fucking wrap ourselves in a rainbow flag and go off chasing giant squids or whatever the fuck you plan on doing."

The only sound was the running water that was now overflowing the pot. Eren turned off the faucet and dumped most of the water back into the sink before placing it on the stove and setting it to boil. The hiss of gas flames was loud as the kitchen remained otherwise silent. Neither of them would meet the other's eyes; Eren stared resolutely at the pot on the stove and Jean focused on the can of ginger ale in his hand.

"My mom's dead."

"I know… I'm sorry." Jean sighed heavily and gave Eren an apologetic grimace. "My whole dad's side of the family is really homophobic. I _know_ my mom will love me no matter what… but I don't want her to say anything to my dad."

"So it's easier to just push both of them away?"

"Yeah. Something like that."

"You have no idea how jealous of you I was – still am – when I first met you. Jean Kirchstein with his wholesome family and his doting mother and his childhood best friend going to college with him. Jean Kirchstein whose mom brings food to his dorm when he has exams. Jean Kirchstein who_has_ a mom. It's pretty much been just me and Mikasa for years now. I would _kill_ to have a family again."

"It's not exactly a picnic liking mostly guys and not being able to say shit because your dad and his family are a bunch of assholes. Then I get to watch you running headlong into everything without thinking like some kind of suicidal bastard – but you don't _have_ to think about shit. If you want to screw half the male lab assistants in your department and major in _fish_ nobody's there to hold you back. And _yes_, I know that Mikasa rides you about shit but she's more likely to be there cheering you on than giving you 'life advice' that's really just them shoving what they want down my throat. Do you _really_ think I want to major in business? Who in the _fuck_ wants to major in business?"

Awkward silence settled again punctuated only by the hiss of the powdered soup being tossed into the pot. Eren focused on stirring it in and the smell of salt and chicken bouillon saturated the kitchen.

"I'm so used to being almost entirely alone that I forget that there are different ways to be alone. You're right; I've never had anyone judge me for who I am and Mikasa might ride me about my safety and keeping my grades up but she never decided my life _for me_. I literally can't imagine what that's like. Your mother isn't dead but I've never had to sit at a kitchen table every night listening to a parent talk about how disgusting gay people are."

_"__You've never watched your mother die." I could say that and this conversation would be over. It's the trump card in this misery pissing contest. Not that it's completely the same, but it sort of is, isn't it? I have to think about her every day when I look in the mirror and he has to think about who he is and how_wrong_he is to his family every time he sits down to dinner with them. But when I think of my mom I can think of happy memories, what is it like for him to think of his family? To walk through the door to his parents' house? Is it bearable or is it living hell?_

"You're right though, I still have my family. I should appreciate them more. I shouldn't take them for granted."

"NO!" Eren slammed his fists on the counter causing dishes to rattle. He turned off the gas on the stove and turned to Jean and continued in a quieter voice. "No. It doesn't matter if they're your blood. If they won't fucking respect you and respect who you are and what you want even after you _tell them_ then you don't owe them shit. Just because they're family – parents or whatever – doesn't mean they own you. I'm not saying that you come out to them tomorrow, but tell them who you are and if they can't handle it then you tell them to fuck off. My friend in high school, her dad had this whole _plan_ for her. He never really asked if she wanted to be a part of it and she was too young to say any different. When she finally said she was done and she didn't want it anymore he wouldn't hear it. She never left because he was _family_. I haven't heard from her since Mikasa and I left Shiganshina but I fucking wish we'd made her come with us."

Eren took a deep breath and passed a bowl of soup to Jean at the kitchen table and sat down across from him.

"When you say stuff like that I'd think you were a psych major."

"Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar and even I get sick of thinking about penises. Nah, I want to go chase narwhals. Unicorns are so last season."

Jean rolled his eyes at Eren's cocky smile and began to eat his soup.

"Thanks for the _super_ upbeat pep talk Dr. Rainbow Narwhal."


	54. 54: Full-Time Saints Don't Exist

Over the course of the next three hours Eren and Jean had struck up conversation about fairly innocuous topics; in spite of having known each other for three years they knew almost nothing about each other. One of the first things that they discovered was that they actually liked doing a lot of the same things and that they had both been so concerned with opposing the other that they had actually missed out on a lot of great opportunities. Jean had unfettered access to the university's film archives via his job in the library (they both loved B horror movies) and Eren had access to anywhere in both of the biology buildings, including the roof (they both loved cloud-watching to relax) but the real win out of the whole situation was knowing that they had someone to talk to about their respective so-totally-never-going-to-happen crushes.

They were still talking when Marco got back to the apartment.

Eren was the one who heard the door opening first. Jean didn't notice immediately because he was laughing at one of Eren's bizarre kidnapping stories, specifically the one about the second time that Vesperia kidnapped him and attempted to seduce him for reasons that he could never quite figure out. It was only when Eren tensed up at Marco's appearance at the kitchen door that Jean turned around and saw Marco. He hung back tentatively on the other side of the doorframe.

"Hi Eren… Hi Jean." The awkwardness was palpable as Jean gave a stiff nod and Eren whispered a quiet hello. Marco fidgeted awkwardly as Jean turned back around and gave Eren a weak smile before walking away.

"Do you have work today?" Jean looked mildly startled at Eren's non sequitur.

"Yeah, in about two hours."

"I wanted to be there about three hours ago –"

"Oh shit, I'm sorry."

"Hey, don't be. Shower and get dressed and walk over with me. You need to get out of here."

"I'm still kind of hungover."

"What are you going to do if you stay here? Be miserable in your room for the next two hours?"

"…hour and a half."

"Just come to the fucking library with me."

"Fine."

Jean huffed and rolled his eyes before pushing his chair back and walking back to his room. Eren stayed in the kitchen a moment longer to quickly wash the pot and bowl from the soup and only left the kitchen when he heard Jean shut the bathroom door and turn the shower on. He took a deep breath and let it out before putting the sponge back and walking out of the kitchen and towards Marco's room. He hesitated a moment before knocking on the closed door, questioning whether this was –never mind intelligent – the right course of action for him to take.

"Marco?" He knocked quietly and then again louder when he didn't get a response. "Marco, can I talk to you for a second?"

He waited for a moment and his shoulders slumped when he didn't get a response again.

_Marco, come on. It's not like I'm going to chew you out or anything._

He paused, giving Marco another moment to respond before he slowly turned the doorknob hoping that it wasn't locked and silently swearing to himself that he _would_ actually get mad at Freckled Jesus if he had actually locked it. The door opened with a creak and Marco jumped and turned around in his desk chair before pulling off his headphones.

"Eren, you scared me!" He blinked at him, trying to recover from his shock.

"Sorry." There was a momentary awkward pause before he continued. "I wanted to talk with you about Jean for a moment if you have the time."

"I guess, yeah." Marco looked torn as he gestured towards the bed for Eren to take a seat.

"I just wanted to ask you what changed."

"Between Jean and me?" He wouldn't meet Eren's eyes and started fiddling with a pen in his hands. "I don't know that it's my place to –"

"No, I already know that he likes you and you know that already."

"It's just that we've been friends for so long…"

"Yeah. So? What changed?"

"He told me he's in love with me." Marco's eyebrows came together in confusion. "That's a pretty big change."

"And he's been in love with you for years. The only reason he's acting any different is because you are. Yeah, you rejected him and he's going to mope about that for a few days but he's spent the past how many years loving you and you never knew. If he kept acting the exact same way what really changes?"

"I know that he's in love with me."

"So? I'm not saying don't put a little distance between the two of you until you get used to it. I'm just saying that you've been best friends since you were little and I don't get how you can just throw that away completely."

"It's _awkward,_ Eren."

"And you're making it worse by avoiding him. It's almost October and you're going to have to live with each other until May. Can you really go on like this for the next seven or eight months?"

Marco gave him a slightly pained look that resolved into discomfort.

"I have to get back to this. It's due at the end of tomorrow." Eren stared at him, lips parted in shock and Marco turned back to his computer. "I'll think about what you said, but I'm already really stressed with school work right now, okay?"

"Right. Yeah. I'll let you get back to work."

Eren walked stiffly towards the door and shut it with a little bit more force than was absolutely necessary. _I guess you can't be Freckled Jesus all the time, can you?_

The shower seemed to have rinsed away the last of Jean's hangover. Eren didn't mention his conversation with Marco as they walked to the library. Instead he tried to steer their conversation as far away from Marco as possible. They ended up parting ways at the library when they saw Connie and Sasha sitting over by the library café. Jean was only in the library to wait out the time until his shift started while Eren was there to work on research for his thesis and attempt to make up for the time he had lost. He had already accepted that he was probably going to be at the library until relatively late in the evening given the delay; one that he found he didn't regret in the slightest. He headed towards the biology periodicals section of the library and cursed the fact that it was on the fifth floor and that the elevator seemed to be stuck on the eighth. He let out a long sigh as he began the trudge up the stairs.


	55. 55: Nickels and Groceries

**Heads up: If you don't like needles / having blood drawn there are like, two sentences about needles.**

**.**

Eren was on one of the library computers going through the marine biology databases. He had a small stack of books and photocopied articles sitting next to him as he saved PDFs of journal articles to read at home. He was finally at a point where even another cup of coffee wasn't going to keep him focused on the words in front of him. He had texted Mikasa hours ago telling her that he would be home late and now he was at a point where he just couldn't bear to stay any longer. He was trying to shove everything into his bag when his cellphone buzzed.

**[Hanji:]** Okay, now I don't want to hound you but I finally have a free day tomorrow and I'd really appreciate it if you came by to talk with me and Levi. I'll buy whatever takeout you want.

He stared at the message a little bit before a small grin crept across his face.

**[Eren:]** let me make dinner. i'll bring stuff with me and cook there if that's okay. just you and levi?

**[Hanji:]** Oooo, you cook? Don't feel like you have to. We're the ones questioning you, if anything we owe you food.

**[Eren:]** yeah but i kinda told levi that i'd only talk if i got to make him dinner. he can't avoid me this way.

**[Hanji:]** You're devious. I like the way you think. I'll pick you up tomorrow and we'll go grocery shopping. I'll tell Levi to come by later.

**[Hanji:]** Wait. Why are you making him dinner? Come on, spill.

**[Eren:]** i convinced him to drive me to the grocery store today and he eats entirely canned and frozen food? i offered to cook and he shot me down but said i could cook if i talk and he can't get out of it if it's right there.

**[Hanji:]** You're so cute. Your apartment at 5pm tomorrow?

**[Eren:]** 5.30… i have class until 5.15

**[Hanji:]** Where is your class?

**[Eren:]** i can walk back to my own apartment. i have two legs, gonna get fat if people keep driving me everywhere

**[Hanji:]** Fiiiiiiiiiine. See you 5.30 at your apartment. I'll tell Levi to show up tomorrow around 7.

Eren stared at the phone in his hand with an amused grin on his face before pocketing it giving up on shoving all of the books in his bag and carrying half of the stack he had pulled. He headed downstairs to leave the library, his back aching from the weight of his bag.

_Priority number one: get home without something awful happening. Priority two: sleep. Priority three: some sort of food would be nice._ He walked out of the library and down the street half a block to the bus shelter. He shivered slightly in the late evening chill and looked around. There were still a lot of people milling around in spite of the late hour so he felt completely safe taking the bus, but at this point he wasn't going to even attempt to push his luck and walk home. He half expected Levi to show up and tell him that he would be driving him home but Levi was either keeping his distance or not in the area. He checked his phone at least ten times before it showed up and was more annoyed than he would be normally that it showed up five minutes late.

_Having a driver's license and a car_would_be kinda nice but how they heck am I supposed to practice driving? No way is Connie letting me anywhere near his car and I don't think I could handle being in Krista's car, I do_ not_need to think about whose bodily fluids are where in that thing. I guess that leaves… Jean? How many friend points do you need to build up before you get permission to ask a friend to borrow their car to learn to drive?_

Eren was almost a nickel short when he got on the bus to pay but was saved by the girl who was in front of him. He thanked her profusely but realized his mistake when she sat down next to him and started touching his arm and flirting.

_Oh god I just want to be home._

Thankfully he had slept well the night before and he was able to distract himself from the fact that he was going to be interrogated about Grisha by thinking about making dinner. He had no idea if either Levi or Hanji had any foods they couldn't eat and tried to make only vague plans for what he would cook. Either way, that and classes kept him distracted enough that he wasn't stressed about meeting up with Hanji until he was sitting on the stoop waiting for them to show up. He inhaled the cool air deeply; fall was in the air. He had a tiny moment of panic when an unfamiliar car pulled up right in front of their building but realized quickly that it was Hanji and that they were driving their own car and not the Survey Corps one. It was definitely newer than Levi's but he couldn't place the model and it had no badges on it.

"Eren, hello!" They were grinning and beckoned him over to get in the car.

"Hi? So where are we going for groceries?" He hopped in the car and buckled his seatbelt.

"Well what are you making?"

"Um… I have no idea? Are there things you can't eat?"

"You're so adorable, thinking about what foods people might not be able to eat. Neither of us have any dietary restrictions but I will tell you that Levi doesn't like fancy lettuces."

"Fancy lettuces?"

"Anything that isn't iceberg or romaine lettuce I think."

"Okay well I definitely can't afford anything nicer than iceberg so I think he's okay there."

"Oh no, Eren _I'm_ paying. You're making dinner and talking about something you really don't want to. I can at least pay for groceries."

"…thanks, Hanji."

"No problem. Get whatever you want and make enough for leftovers to bring home."

Their grocery shopping excursion had taken a little bit longer than he expected since Hanji had insisted on looking at the ingredients list on some packages. Eren quickly decided that he never wanted to go grocery shopping with Hanji again unless he wanted to know all of the carcinogenic ingredients present in frozen desserts. He had been slightly confused when they drove off in a different direction from the headquarters of the Survey Corps but Hanji intercepted his question before he could even vocalize it.

"We're going back to my apartment. Levi and I live closer to each other than headquarters and I think you could do with a more relaxed atmosphere."

"That sounds… really nice actually."

"I do have one request though. I'd like to take a blood sample for my research. I've told you it's –"

"About cortisol levels associated with prolonged direct exposure to superhero-supervillain conflicts in a civilian capacity. Yeah." Hanji beamed at him.

"Do you mind? I only need two 5mL tubes. I'll do it as soon as we're inside so we can just be done with it and you can get on to cooking and I'd like to get another set before you leave if that's okay."

"Yeah, that sounds fine to me."

"You're so much more cooperative than everyone else. I practically have to get Levi and Erwin to hold Mike down to get any samples from him."

True to their word, they had barely dropped the grocery bags in the kitchen when Hanji was making him sit down at the kitchen table and asking him to stick his arm out. Eren winced slightly as the needle pricked his skin and looked away until Hanji was done. He left his sweatshirt off as he began to set up for cooking. Hanji pointed out where everything was and jokingly asked if he wanted an apron; they were amused when he took them up on their offer. He focused on chopping and slicing and browning and Hanji moved into what he assumed _would_ have been the dining room but was actually just a massive table covered in papers and electronics and began to type things up, occasionally calling out to him to ask questions about whether or not he had chickenpox when he was a kid or spent more than two months living in a rural area at any point in his life. Eventually their questions petered out and they were left with the white noise of a clacking keyboard and the sizzling hiss of meat frying. Eren had gotten so relaxed cooking that he didn't notice that Levi had come in until he was walking into the kitchen with Hanji.

"They put you up to this didn't they?" Levi shifted his glare between Eren and Hanji.

"Nope! It was all Eren. He's worried that you eat like shit – you do, don't deny it – so he wanted to make dinner for all of us." Eren was waiting for Levi to make some sort of rude comment but it never came, instead –

"It smells good."


	56. 56: The Tip of the Iceberg Lettuce

"It smells good." Eren smiled. _Fuck yeah!_ "Looks like shit though. What is it?"_You couldn't just leave it at the compliment, could you?_

"Levi!" Hanji crossed their arms and gave him a disapproving look. He stared back at them for a moment before they gave up and left the room.

"It's lamb stew. It's sort of my great-grandma's recipe but it never got written down and I never really learned how to make it so I had to figure it out by taste." Eren paused a moment and gave the stew another slow stir. "It's not as good as my mom's." _Way to make yourself depressed. Good going, Eren._

"People have a habit of remembering things as better or worse than they were. I'm sure it's just as good."

Eren froze for a moment before whipping his head back to stare at Levi. Except that by the time he had turned he was looking at an empty kitchen; Levi had gone into Hanji's dining room office. He frowned and turned back to the stove, putting the cover back on the pot and setting up another pot for rice.

_Make up your fucking mind, Levi._

It was one of the more balanced meals that Eren had eaten recently. The lamb stew was basic and very good but Eren was certain (in spite of Levi's odd attempt at comforting him) that it wasn't as good as his mother's. The rice was a little on the dry side but at least the iceberg lettuce and tomatoes were fresh. Stilted silence settled as they began to eat and Eren wondered if they were going to start questioning him while they ate – he hoped they did. It would be far easier to talk if he knew he could hide behind his fork if things got too difficult.

"This is really good, Eren! We should hire you to cook for us."

"Thanks, Hanji…"

"I know it's not exactly good dinner conversation, but is it okay if we start talking?" Hanji looked at Eren, a frown of concern on their face.

"I think I'd prefer we talk about it now."

"Now remember that if there's anything that makes you uncomfortable you can tell us and we'll take a break. I'm also going to be taking some notes, okay?"

"Yeah. That works, that's fine." Hanji stood up to get a notepad from their office and Eren glanced over at Levi; he hadn't expected him to say much but he had been dead silent since they sat down to eat. He seemed to be staring at his plate lost in thought and pushing his salad around. Eren was about to open his mouth to say _something_ when Hanji came back in with a notepad and a pen.

"Eren, some of these are going to be really basic questions. We've asked some before and I know they're going to seem really obvious and silly but we just want to make sure we're all on the same page okay?" They looked to Eren for confirmation.

"Yeah, just go for it."

"We know that your father is Grisha Jaeger and that he worked as a doctor the South Stationary district of Shiganshina and was an assistant in a lab for a few years. We don't have very much information on his work. Is there anything that you remember about what he might have done? As a doctor or in the lab; we have very little to go off of."

"Um. He was always a doctor even when he was working at the lab. I think he saw it as a calling or whatever – helping make people healthy."

"And his work at the lab?"

"Something with vaccines. I don't know why the hell I remember but it was something to do with making them more stable so they could travel better. He was really fucking passionate about vaccines." Hanji's head snapped up from their notes and he shifted uncomfortably under their intense gaze.

"What do you mean when you say he was passionate about vaccines?"

"He wanted people not to get sick in the first place. It's really not all that weird. All the doctors who worked in South Stationary were big into vaccinations. We had two major flu outbreaks when I was little… a lot of people got sick and some people died. Then there was another after…" he trailed off and paused. "When I was fourteen there was another. The first one was when I was nine and the second was when I was eleven." _The winter before he walked out._

"So did these other doctors work at the lab with your father then? Were they working on vaccines for the people living in South Stationary?"

"_No._ None of what the lab was doing had anything to do with South Stationary. They worked on… malaria vaccines? I've tried to remember so hard and I know they were trying to improve the serum so that it traveled better in hotter climates."

It was the beginning of a circular conversation. Hanji kept trying to steer it back to South Stationary while he tried to explain that it made _sense_ for doctors to put such a heavy emphasis on preventative care in a community where people lived so close together. It was a place where the doctors had to push so hard against flu outbreaks because the support infrastructure just wasn't there; preventative _and_ reactive.

But he also knew that the drive to vaccinate had as much to do with stereotyping as it did with a desire to help. Very few families were made up of recent immigrants by the time Eren was a child, but the prejudice from when South Stationary was made largely of recent immigrants remained. He'd heard it all; they were dirty, they didn't take care of their health, they had poor hygiene – somehow these prejudices and stereotypes continued even as his grandparents' generation died off. His mother remembered the "health visits" and in retrospect, Eren could recognize that she mildly resented his father's constant insistence on check-ups and vaccines and medicine in place of family remedies. Not that she was against science and medicine, but it still must have rankled with the memories of her own childhood coming in sharp and at the forefront of her mind.

Trying to explain all of this though, to someone who wasn't familiar with the place, the mindset was difficult.

"So the vaccines that he was working on for the lab, he never –"

"No! Why would he be giving anti-malaria vaccines to people living in Shiganshina? That doesn't make any sense."

"Eren, I'm just asking if there is a possibility that he was –"

"A possibility that what? That he was experimenting on people living in South Stationary? That the other four doctors who worked with patients in South Stationary were in on it too even though he was the only one who worked in the lab? No."

Eren was glowering at Hanji, daring them to say more. They sighed deeply and stood up.

"I'm going to make some tea. Levi?"

"Yeah, make me a cup." Eren started slightly, it was the first thing Levi had said in the last two hours.

"Eren?"

"I'm fine." _Why am I defending him? I don't know what the fuck he was doing or if he was experimenting on people or if he was actually working on improving serums for vaccines. What the fuck has me defending him now?_

He stared at his fists resting on the table, clenched them tighter as he grit his teeth in frustration.

"Why am I defending him…?" The question came out whisper soft as Eren's body tensed further. "I don't know what the hell he was doing, I was twelve when he left. I don't remember shit."

"Because you don't want him to be a monster."

"Huh?" He looked at Levi confusedly for a brief moment before he realized that he had spoken his thoughts aloud.

"It's easier to have him be the asshole who up and left one day than have him be a monster who experimented on the people who he was supposed to be helping. That's why you're defending him."

"I don't have any proof that he didn't do anything."

"Do you have proof that he did?"

"…no." Eren frowned deeply. "I don't have evidence either way. So I really don't know what the truth is."

"For what it's worth, from what you've said and from what we've been able to find out, he seems like he was just a grade A asshole who walked out on his family."

"Aren't you guys talking to me because you _can't_ find out anything about him?"

"I've met monsters. He isn't one."


	57. 57: The Name Game

_"__I've met monsters. He isn't one."_

Levi's pronouncement continued to run through his head even as Hanji returned to the table with three mugs of tea. Even though Eren had declined initially he found himself appreciative of it as he sipped it; whatever tea it was, it was very soothing. Hanji sat down and they all remained in a temporary silence and Eren avoided looking at Hanji in the hopes that they would drop their previous line of questioning.

"Okay, what would make this a lot easier is if you could remember the exact name of the lab that your father worked for. If I can get that I can start to sort through what they were doing and figure out if there's any relationship between your fa – Grisha's work at the lab and him leaving."

_Wow, I didn't expect that they would remember that I prefer to have him be called Grisha… though I guess I did throw a fit the other day when Commander Handsome brought him up and said he 'disappeared' rather than left. That's… really impressive that they remembered though._

"The name of the lab he worked for? You couldn't figure it out?"

"You didn't exactly give us much to go on the other night. Starts with 'C' and maybe has an 'R' in it isn't all that helpful."

"How many labs that work on vaccines and whose names start with 'C' are in Shiganshina?"

"There's only one right now; Creek Labs. Ten years ago there were two more in addition to it." Hanji flipped back through their notepad. There was a Corso Research Facility and – this one doesn't have an 'R' in it – Campbell Industries. All three of them worked on vaccination research or manufacturing. Do any of those names sound familiar?"

"No… well, Corso does but only because our neighbor worked as a custodian there."

"So none of those are where your father worked?" Hanji was staring at their notes and flipping through, clearly becoming frustrated. "You're_absolutely sure?_"

"Did any of them have offices on the border of South Stationary and Eastside Park?"

"So you've been there? You were _at_ the labs?" Hanji was looking at him excitedly.

"Yeah, but it was only once and my memory is really fuzzy. I think I was about five or six then."

"But you remember that it was on the border of those two districts?"

"I remember going to the park after so it must have been close enough to walk. The park is really big though and it's a pretty long border between the two districts. Were any of those labs there?"

"Nope. Creek was Downtown but moved to Westview recently and the other two were in South End." They were grinning widely and Eren couldn't help but be puzzled.

"Those are all at least five miles from where I remember the lab being."

"Exactly. Whatever lab it was clearly was _very_ small and working under the radar." Eren's stomach plummeted. _He's not a monster. He can't be a monster._

"Were there any labs in that area? Whether they started with 'C' or not."

He watched as Hanji opened up their laptop and felt his heart pounding and nausea taking over. _Please let there be something, please…_

"Capitol Medical Manufacturing has an office right on Eastside Park, but they were administration and sales. There was a Sentinel Testing that was along the border but pretty far into South Stationary…" Hanji had frozen looking at their notes. "They closed up that facility about two months after Grisha left."

"That seems like too much of a coincidence." Eren's voice was hopeful even though he couldn't figure out what he was feeling. Relief that Grisha hadn't been working for a shady lab that didn't exist, additional nausea that the facility would close up shortly after Grisha left, fear about what they had been working on.

"But clearly you didn't look into them since it didn't fit the description. So we can't really be sure that's the right place." Eren's head jerked towards Levi as he spoke, his silence had made Eren forget that he was present at all.

"Let me pull up what I can right now."

"Where would we be without Google?" In spite of the seriousness of the situation Eren had to suppress a smile at Levi's sarcasm.

"It looks like they were a small testing facility that processed urine and blood samples for Shiganshina City Hospital. They went out of business because the hospital built a new wing to bring all of their processing in-house. They hired most of the staff from the labs that they contracted with when they closed. I'm still going to look into this but if Grisha worked there… well, there's a chance that I jumped the gun on the vaccine thing. Sorry."

"It's fine. I just… I don't think he would be experimenting on people who he was trying to help. He was a bit of a shit parent but he was pretty dedicated to serving the community."

"Okay, well I'll look into the South Stationary-Eastside Park area to see if there's anything I missed. I'll look a bit more closely at labs that didn't deal with vaccines since it looks like Sentinel is a good bet even though it meets none of the criteria you gave us."

"Sorry about that, I really thought that it started with a 'C' but I _know_ he did something with vaccines."

"I'll definitely be casting a wider net this time around. It's just that there are actually a lot of labs in Shiganshina so I was trying to narrow things down based on what you gave us. Having a specific region now makes it a bit easier."

"Still… I'm sorry for not remembering things properly."

"Human memory is a faulty thing. Don't worry about it, Eren. We all make mistakes."

Eren sat back as Hanji began to tap away at their laptop and started slightly when Levi reached to grab his plate as he began to clear the table. He watched as Levi slowly began to wash the dishes and place them in the drying rack, it was quickly filling up en though he hadn't even started on the pots that Eren had used to cook everything. He felt awkward simply sitting at the table while Hanji was clearly absorbed in their research and got up to start drying dishes.

The sound of running water and rhythmic scrubbing was soothing, as was the repetitive motion of drying the dishes. His mind began to calm down from his previously keyed up and nervous state and he turned over Levi's words again.

_"__I've met monsters. He isn't one." What kind of monsters have you met, Levi? Have you fought supervillains who were monsters? No, I've been following the Survey Corps for ages… I can't think of any truly monstrous villains they've dealt with. At least nothing like someone experimenting on an entire district of people they're supposed to be helping. Does the guy who controls the Military Police count as a monster? The Titans are monsters, aren't they? How many of them have they dealt with? Are they the monsters he's met?_

Levi finished the last pot and handed it off to Eren to dry.

_What qualifies as monstrous?_

He was startled out of his thoughts by Levi snapping his fingers in front of his face.

"I think that pot is dry enough." Eren stared at the now-dry pot that he was continuing to rub at.

"Right, just lost in thought."

"You shouldn't force your memories."

"What do you mean?"

"Even if you're angry with him, you want so badly for Grisha to have done nothing wrong. There are shades of gray, kid. Just because he worked somewhere shady doesn't mean he was a monster. Don't force your mind into remembering things that aren't real. You sounded pretty sure that the lab's name started with a 'C' and that maybe it had an 'R' in it the other night. Don't convince yourself otherwise because it looks like there's a convenient solution that absolves Grisha of any guilt. He doesn't have to be innocent to not be a monster."

"So you think I remembered it right the other night?"

"You sounded at least a little confident then, now you sound like a yes man. Just run through it in your head; what words sound familiar?"

They ended up leaving shortly after finishing the dishes since Hanji was clearly engrossed in their research again. Hanji barely acknowledged their departure, giving Eren and Levi a half-hearted wave; they didn't even look up from their laptop as the both of them walked out the door. Eren knew that he was supposed to be the one taking the leftovers home with him but was already planning to "accidentally" leave them in Levi's car. They drove in silence down River Road to avoid the construction on Washington. The poorly lit road swallowed them in darkness and Eren stared out the window at the moonlight bouncing off the river.

He frowned at his reflection in the window and closed his eyes, trying to run through words and willing himself to relax.

_Corso… Creek… Crestor… car… carbon.. cardiovascular… Carlisle… carrot… cor… cordon off… Cordyline stricta… Corbin… Court… curt… cro… Croton… Crohn's…_

"Cronus." Eren opened his eyes and turned to look at Levi. "The lab was called Cronus."

**.**

**Okay, so a lot of people have brought up Hanji's research and Eren having magic blood or whatever and I just want to give you a cool tidbit and tell you that Hanji's research is based on an actual real world study on cortisol levels.**

**I'm linking two articles that are really interesting and I highly recommend reading them because holy shit it's crazy fucked up but anyway, the short version:**

**Cortisol is a stress hormone and prolonged elevated and irregular levels cause a lot of cardiovascular health issues. Someone like Eren who gets kidnapped a lot and is under a lot of stress would probably have elevated and irregular cortisol levels; potentially even when he isn't in a stressful situation. Also he comes from a low-income background and guess what? Being poor is really stressful.**

**But you know what else is really stressful? Institutionalized racism.**

**There was a study that found that institutionalized racism is so stressful that it causes legitimate and serious health issues. It is super insidious and fucked up. The original study was focused on women of African Carribean descent in the US and just wow. Seriously, look into it. I can't hyperlink the articles here and the URLs are insanely long for the links that I have so here's the link to the AO3 chapter with the links at the bottom:**

**archive of our own dot org/works/1620422/chapters/4749804**


	58. 58: Beneath the Silence

Levi wasn't entirely sure why he was there.

Yes, he had promised the kid that he would be, but he couldn't tell you why he promised that to begin with. As much as he didn't want to admit it, he empathized with the kid. He looked at him and saw a younger and less fucked up version of himself. When he was the kid's age he had blood on his hands as he clawed for his own survival.

At the kid's age he'd only just – _No._

On the other side of Hanji's door something smelled good. They'd said that there would be food but he assumed it would be the usual beer and shitty Chinese take away from down the street and not whatever this was. Hanji's grin was wider than usual when they answered the door.

"Something smells edible. Clearly you aren't cooking."

Hanji laughed and waived him inside. He paused a moment to remove his shoes and jacket before following them into the kitchen. As he walked up behind Hanji he saw that it was the kid who was cooking.

"They put you up to this didn't they?" Given the look that the kid gave them he had been too absorbed in cooking to notice that anyone else had entered the kitchen.

"Nope! It was all Eren. He's worried that you eat like shit – you do, don't deny it – so he wanted to make dinner for all of us." He could see the uncertainty on the kid's face, slight nervousness as he avoided Levi's eyes; they both knew exactly why he was cooking dinner.

"It smells good." He watched the kid's face start to light up. _No, I'm not fucking happy about this kid. I don't like being forced into things._ "It looks like shit though."

"Levi!" He caught but ignored Hanji's disapproving look and was about to follow them into their office but the kid started to talk before he had a chance to start moving away.

"It's lamb stew. It's sort of my great-grandma's recipe but it never got written down and I never really learned how to make it so I had to figure it out by taste… It's not as good as my mom's." Something about the kid's tone caught him and he was halfway done before he realized he had even started talking.

"People have a habit of remembering things as better or worse than they were. I'm sure it's just as good."

Rather than stick around and deal with whatever came out of the kid's mouth after that, Levi turned abruptly and walked across the kitchen to Hanji's office.

"Hanji, why the hell are you having the brat cook dinner?"

"Apparently _someone_ said they would let him cook dinner for them if he sat down and answered some questions. He was smart enough to realize that _whoever it was_ wouldn't hold up their end of the bargain unless they were forced to." Hanji gave him a pointed look, daring him to refute their statement. He glared and sat down heavily in the chair across from them.

"He has a crush on me. I'm not encouraging him."

"It wouldn't kill you to be friendly."

"He said he wants to be friends."

"So?"

"I don't want friends."

"What about me? What about Mike and Erwin?"

"You're the exception to rule. Mike and Erwin are…" he paused and looked away. "I trust them."

"So you've got one friend and two people who you trust. No room in there for Eren?"

"No." Levi looked up at Hanji and gave them a frigid glare. They took the hint and changed the topic.

"So what I'm really hoping to find out tonight is _where_ Eren's father worked before he disappeared, ideally _what_ he did as well but if he disappeared when Eren was young then he probably won't remember much of anything."

"In case you don't remember the shit fit he threw the other night, you're going to want to ask about _Grisha_ and what happened before he _left._Unless you want him to clam again."

"And you say you don't care."

"I try to remember things that make people easier to deal with, easier to manipulate them into answering the questions that need answering."

"That's cynical… even for you." Hanji was looking directly at Levi now, concern evident on their face. He refused to meet their eyes, instead focusing on an imperfection in the wood of the table they were sitting at.

He didn't process that the kid had finished making dinner until Hanji laid a hand on his shoulder to get his attention.

The food was good and he honestly appreciated it. Maybe he'd tell the kid how much he appreciated it if there was a moment where it couldn't be seen as anything other than a basic thank you. There was nothing he wanted less than to have it misconstrued as some sort of an effort on his part to become friends. It was a social nicety, not an actual show of kindness.

_Is it really so hard for people to grasp that I just want to be left alone?_

He wasn't paying attention to whatever Hanji and the kid were doing. He knew that they were talking and that it was an easy conversation between the two of them. They left to get their notepad and laptop and Levi simply sat with his thoughts.

_At least Hanji told the kid to get iceberg and not that fancy-ass arugula shit._

He pulled back himself back from his thoughts and into the current discussion. He had been halfway listening to the kid trying to explain what it was like to live in a place like South Stationary; what it was like to have the whole world stacked against you. Hanji was good at asking the right questions but right now it was clear that they were pushing the kid away.

_Hanji, drop the vaccine bullshit. I don't give a shit if any of it is true, you're just freaking the kid out. He's going to clam again if you keep this up._

The next moment he was able he caught Hanji's eye and gave them a look. It was wordless communication based on years of working together. He knew the kid had reached his limit and as much as Hanji might think they were onto something, he could see it was beginning to take too much of a toll on the kid for them to pursue it. Hanji let out a frustrated sigh to let him know they disagreed with the interruption but honored it nonetheless. He knew that Hanji was already starting to defer to him when the kid was involved. They of all people would be able to put together their similarities and extrapolate the empathy that he didn't want to admit.

Levi hadn't expected Hanji to suddenly offer tea, but it would definitely give them all a chance to regroup their thoughts. He knew what the kid needed to hear, knew that Hanji was probably a bit off-base with their assumptions. He knew monsters; had seen them, had worked with them, had lived with them. Grisha Jaeger was many things, but Levi seriously doubted that he was a monster.

He watched as the kid got more and more tense sitting at the table. He knew that Hanji would make him a cup of tea regardless of the fact that he had turned it down. The kid was on the verge of completely losing it and this was exactly why Hanji would normally be the person who is was absolutely best for Eren to meet with; Levi didn't _do_ feelings or comforting people. So he was stuck wondering what the hell you were supposed to do for an emotional twenty-one year-old on the verge of a meltdown. He was weighing his options when he heard the kid whispering to himself. Well, it would be whispering for anyone else, for him it was clear as day.

"Why am I defending him…? I don't know what the hell he was doing, I was twelve when he left. I don't remember shit."

_Okay, this is emotional bullshit I can handle._

"Because you don't want him to be a monster."

"Huh?" _Oh for fuck's sake kid… I have better-than-human hearing. Weren't you a fanboy at some point?_

"It's easier to have him be the asshole who up and left one day than have him be a monster who experimented on the people who he was supposed to be helping. That's why you're defending him.

"I don't have any proof that he didn't do anything."

"Do you have proof that he did?"

"…no."

"For what it's worth, from what you've said and from what we've been able to find out, he seems like he was just a grade A asshole who walked out on his family."

"Aren't you guys talking to me because you _can't_ find out anything about him?"

"I've met monsters. He isn't one."

_Please let me be right._


	59. 59: Wolf in Sheep's Clothing

Levi had intended to simply calm the kid down in the onslaught of Hanji's questions, but it soon became clear that when Levi had said "not a monster" the kid had taken it as "completely innocent." He was beyond frustrated as the kid backtracked on almost everything he had said previously and that Hanji was allowing him to do it. He could easily attribute Hanji's willingness to listen to the kid's changing story to their desire to explore all possible alternatives but, Levi knew exactly why the kid was willing to backtrack and it had nothing to do with faulty memory.

_We don't live in a black and white world, kid. Your dad can be guilty and not be a monster. Life is complicated. You know that but you just can't fucking let go of that little piece of hope, can you? A little part of you wants him to be completely innocent. Nobody is completely fucking innocent._

As Hanji went to whatever part of their mind that handled processing and researching their theories Levi moved to the kitchen to clean. Hanji would never do it themselves and the kid had cooked dinner. As much of an asshole as Levi was, he wasn't an unfair one. On the other hand, he also knew that the kid would probably seek him out and join him. He worked through the stack of dirty dishes slowly, giving the kid time to decide that occupying himself and potentially talking to Levi was preferable to Hanji's intense silence. Levi lack tact and social grace but he was hardly a social idiot; he understood people well and the kid might as well have been an open book to him.

Levi had worked through most of the dishes by the time the kid came into the kitchen. He paused to allow the kid to dry half of the dishes in the draining board before continuing with the rest. He watched as the kid calmed down and was lost in his own thoughts, the tension in his body draining as he worked through the mindless task of drying dishes. It was only when his shoulders finally relaxed fully that Levi spoke.

"I think that pot is dry enough." The kid stared blankly at Levi a moment before looking down at the pot in his hands.

"Right, just lost in thought." _No shit._

"You shouldn't force your memories."

"What do you mean?" _Are you shitting me kid? This entire evening?_

"Even if you're angry with him, you want so badly for Grisha to have done nothing wrong. There are shades of gray, kid. Just because he worked somewhere shady doesn't mean he was a monster. Don't force yourself into remembering things that aren't real. You sounded pretty sure the lab's name started with a 'C' and that it maybe had an 'R' in it the other night. Don't convince yourself otherwise because it looks like there's a convenient solution that absolves Grisha of any guilt. He doesn't have to be innocent to not be a monster."

"So you think I remembered it right the other night?"

"You sounded at least a little confident then, now you sound like a yes man. Just run through it in your head; what words sound familiar?"

They lapsed into silence again and Levi let it go. Hanji was so engrossed in their work that Levi didn't even bother saying good bye, simply telling them that they should lock the door after they left. He knew they would probably forget, but it was worth a shot. The walk down the stairs and to Levi's car was silent, as was the drive. He never felt any need to fill silence with words just for the sake of sound and he was especially unwilling to break the silence when the kid was (hopefully) trying to think. He watched out of the corner of his eye as they drove, willing the kid to remember something useful. They were halfway down River Road when the kid turned to face him.

"Cronus. The lab was called Cronus." _Good job, kid._ He allowed himself a tiny smile under the cover of darkness in the car.

"You sure you're not making things up again? Don't think you need to remember it right now just because. I don't have a gun to your head."

"It was Cronus. I'm almost positive."

"Well unless you're completely positive…" He trailed off and watched the kid gape at him and then start to glare. "That was a joke. I make those sometimes."

"That was a really shitty joke."

"Sometimes I tell shit jokes."

"Tell me one then."

"Nope."

"Why not?"

"You wouldn't appreciate it."

"I wouldn't appreciate a shit joke. Seriously?"

"Yeah. Too refined for a shitty brat."

"So was that a shit joke?"

"I don't know. Why don't you tell me?" Levi kept his deadpan in place as he chanced a look at the kid in the passenger's seat. His face looked like he couldn't decide between exasperation or fury. He huffed and turned back to look out the window.

"You're an asshole."

"No fucking shit."

The silence only lasted a moment before the kid turned back.

"Why are you such an asshole all the time? Don't you want people to like you? Even a little bit?"

"I'm an asshole because I want people to stay away from me."

"The other day you said that 'friends die' but that's bullshit. Everyone dies, whether you're friends or not isn't going to stop them from dying." Levi's grip on the steering wheel tightened and then loosened.

"Why don't heroes get involved with people romantically? Because their partner is a liability. Anybody you're close with is a liability. I don't like having liabilities, it's that simple."

"You said Hanji is your friend. Are they a liability?"

"Hanji is fellow superhero. They can take care of themselves."

"But somebody who doesn't have superpowers or crazy science or whatever the fuck is so weak that they're always a liability?"

"Yes." _Drop it, kid. Leave it alone._

"So I'm a liability."

"You would be if I gave a shit."

Eren looked like he'd been punched and Levi was doing his damnedest to ignore the way he was looking at him. He wasn't going to look at him; he didn't want to see the hurt and the frustration and the disappointment.

_Heroes don't lash out. Heroes aren't assholes. Heroes are friendly. Heroes let people in._

He could run through a whole list of what heroes were and were not and a hell of a lot of his particular character traits would be in the "not hero" category. It was just one more thing he had made peace with.

_I'm no hero. Just a wolf in sheep's clothing._


	60. 60: Whisky Kiss

**Okay so there's a little bit of erejean in this chapter. That being said I fucking _loathe_ love triangles. This is going absolutely fucking _nowhere._ It's just a resolution to their "I guess we're friends or something now" arc. If you notp them hardcore you can skip this chapter but it leaves a lot unresolved.**

**.**

Since remembering the name of the lab that Grisha had worked for the amount of time that Eren spent in contact with the Survey Corps had been drastically reduced. Hanji texted him once a day to check in but since he had given them such a huge piece of the puzzle he hadn't seen any of them in person in over a week while they chased down leads. Part of Eren was sad that giving them the name of the lab apparently meant that his involvement was no longer necessary, but on the other hand he had no desire to see Levi any time soon. He had come to terms with the fact that Levi was an asshole but the fact that Levi had outright –and cruelly – stated that he didn't give a shit about him had hurt him worse than he wanted to admit. He was grateful that he had been able to convince Erwin that he didn't need to be shadowed by any of them anymore since Mikasa was on the mend and while she couldn't return to hero work, she was perfectly capable of keeping him safe.

Mikasa wasn't able to accompany him home at night anymore but the fact that Eren and Jean had finally buried the hatchet came with an offer to give him rides back from campus after dark. It worked well given that Jean usually worked evening shifts at the library and Eren was spending almost all of his free time there doing research for his thesis anyway. He had quickly settled into a routine where he got to campus just barely on time for his first class and stayed until 10pm when Jean's shift usually ended. From there they would pile all of their stuff into Jean's car and drive to Eren and Mikasa's apartment (where Jean had become a nightly fixture) and Eren would cook an extremely late dinner for the three of them. On the second night, Jean ended up pulling Mikasa aside to tell her about what happened with Marco and to apologize for being an asshole his freshman year.

He had expected the slap across the face. He hadn't expected the hug that followed.

Eren and Jean were sitting on Eren's bed, their backs leaning against the wall as they passed a bottle of whisky back and forth and tried to keep their voices low while Mikasa slept. They started out commiserating about difficult classes and awful professors and Eren let Jean rant about one of his new co-workers whose taste in movies personally offended Jean.

"He likes the Saw movies! He thought that Thankskilling and Santa Slays were _bad_ but that's the _point!_"

"Well fuck that guy. Those are awesome."

"I know right? And he started talking about Monet and he really meant _Manet_ and when I corrected him he got all offended but for fuck's sake he's a fine arts major! And then it turns out that he thinks Andy Warhol is some sort of god when it comes to art and that his pop art is the best out there but that Roy Lichtenstein's work is utterly meaningless because he worked with comic strips and apparently that's too low-brow and populist or some shit. Just who the –" Eren clapped his hand over Jean's mouth as his voice got louder and more impassioned.

"Jeez. Calm the fuck down, Jean. Why does it matter? He doesn't know who um… whoever those two guys are and –"

"Oscar-Claude _Monet_ and Édouard _Manet_."

"Right. And he has shitty opinions about other artists. Why do you care so much?"

Jean huffed and drew his legs up to his chest and rested his chin on his knees. Eren stared at him, willing his eyes to focus properly as the alcohol in his system began to take its toll.

"…because that's what I wanted to do."

"Huh?"

"I wanted to be an art major, but instead I'm a _business_ major because that's a _sensible degree_ and an art degree is stupid and pointless and apparently only girls and fags major in art." Eren was staring at Jean and he looked away sharply. "At least I didn't say I wanted to be a theater major."

"So your family wouldn't let you major in art?"

"More like I took an art history class freshman year to fulfill the history requirement and when I mentioned I liked the practical drawing component my dad he said I should've taken a more sensible class like the history of modern Europe which like, _who gives a fuck?_ And then he went on this whole speech about how he was glad I was going to major in business and not some fluff degree like art and I just couldn't say anything."

"That's… fuck, I'm really sorry."

"My mom found one of my sketchpads from the class and suggested I minor in art but it just didn't seem worth it. Besides, art classes almost always conflict with my business classes."

Jean took a long drink from the bottle of whisky and they both fell into silence.

"Do you still draw? Even just little things?" Jean snorted and passed the bottle to Eren.

"I usually go through a sketchpad a month. I don't get any fancy supplies though, just pencils and charcoal."

"At least you're still drawing though. You could have just stopped completely."

"I probably would have lost my mind."

"You should take an art class next semester."

"And have to deal with my dad? Hell no."

"Tell him you need a fluff class because you're stressed."

"That's… actually not a bad idea. I only need two more credits plus my capstone project to finish my major so I _do_ have room in my schedule for an art class."

"What would you want to take?"

"Oil painting. I'd never get to do it otherwise."

"So then do it."

"Yeah. If it works out I will. I don't like the idea of saying I'm taking it because it's a 'fluff class' but if that's what it takes to keep my dad off my back… what's one more lie? I'm gone as soon as we graduate."

"What? You're leaving Trost?"

"Yeah, I'm going to head for Sina. Well, Stohess because it's cheaper but still close. I've already started looking at jobs and apartments."

"Wow. That's a big move."

"You moved from Shiganshina to Trost. That's a big move too. Especially with everything that was going on in Shiganshina when you left."

"I guess it was kind of a big move. It felt like the only option though." _At least you aren't leaving because the person who was watching out for your ungrateful ass got murdered._

"This kind of feels like the only option to me too. I need to start over. Get away from my family, get away from all this bullshit… and I guess I need to get away from Marco now too."

"Yeah…" _Then again, it can't be easy to leave when you aren't escaping a city at war with itself. When you have things you'll miss._ "How are things between you and Marco?"

"Better I guess. He's not actively avoiding me anymore. We don't really talk though, we just kind of _exist_ together."

"Well, clearly you're welcome here any time. It's not like it's the eighth night in a row you've been here after midnight. And you're staying over."

"Who said I'm staying over?"

"The fact that your blood alcohol content is probably double the legal maximum to drive."

"Fair point."

They lapsed into silence and Jean stared across his knees at Eren's bookshelf while Eren tilted his head up and let his eyes trace the familiar web of cracks on the ceiling. It was a serene and drunken calm in the storm of life and with nowhere to go the next day they let time pass them by without recognition. Eren shifted his head to look at Jean as he continued to stare at the bookshelf, lost in thought.

_Who knew Jean wanted to be an art major? That doesn't seem anything like him but I guess he's never really been honest with anyone. I wonder how much_Marco_even knows about all of this. I mean, yeah Jean came out to him but does he know that Jean wanted to major in art or that he wants to move to Stohess to get away from everything here? Just how much has Jean been bottling up and keeping away from everyone, even his best friend? How in the fuck did_I_end up being the person who he tells all of this shit to?_

Jean turned his head to look at Eren, nearly smashing his head into Eren's nose as a result of their proximity.

"Why are you staring at me?"

"Am I the first person you've said all this shit to? Like, all of it to one single person?"

"Pretty much, yeah. Why?"

"You should talk to other people too."

"Yeah, I bet you're pretty shit at life advice."

They paused and looked at each other; Eren looking mildly offended and Jean looking amused.

_Eh, fuck it. Why not?_

Eren leaned in to kiss Jean. The odd angle of their bodies made it an incredibly clumsy kiss as their teeth clacked together and they craned their necks awkwardly. Eren moved his hand to grip Jean's bicep while Jean's hand hovered in the air, uncertain as to where to put it. The kiss died on its own and they pulled back from one another, putting enough space between themselves to focus properly on each other's faces. The silence held for a moment before Jean broke it.

"Ew, Jaeger that was gross." Jean reached his hand up to wipe off his face. "Do you always slobber all over people?"

"What the fuck? I don't slobber!"

"So why is my face covered in your gross spit?" Jean burst into laughter at the indignant expression on Eren's face and Eren joined him in laughing a moment later. As their laughter died off, Jean spoke again. "Why the hell did you kiss me anyway?"

"I figured why not?" Eren shrugged.

"Please tell me you aren't crushing on me."

"Oh gross no way!" Eren shoved at Jean and laughed. "You're the one who propositioned me the other night anyway so you can't say shit."

"I was drunk that night!"

"And I'm drunk right now."

"I was depressed about Marco."

"Yeah well… the last time I saw Levi he told me that I don't mean shit to him and that even if he did give a shit I'm a liability because I'm a stupid, weak kid."

"…that's one way to put a damper on the evening."

"I just feel like I keep getting close and then I get completely stonewalled. It felt like I was doing two steps forward and one back, but now it's like I'm taking two steps forward and three back." Eren drew his legs up to his chest, mimicking Jean's earlier pose. He buried his head in his knees and sighed deeply. He spoke again in a whisper, "I just don't know what to do."

"You said you haven't seen him or any of the Survey Corps in a while yeah?"

"Yeah. So?"

"You don't have to see him every day." Jean gave him a pointed look. "_You_ have the space to try and get over him. Go out, get laid, do whatever.

"Didn't I already tell you I'm not going to pop your gay cherry?"

"I swear to fucking Christ, Eren. Lay off on that. Besides, you're the one that kissed me."

"Jesus fucking – we're friends. _Just friends_, yeah?"

"Just friends."

"And we do not speak of this to _anyone_."

"No shit."


	61. 61: Noncommittal

**[Connie:]** dude we're going out tonight you in?

**[Sasha:]** A new bar just opened up downtown. They're supposed to have amazing wings. We're going.

**[Sasha:]** Also we need to get Connie laid.

**[Connie:]** i need you there for moral support sasha's an awful wingman

**[Jean:]** Stop moping about birdman and come out tonight

Eren stared at his phone groggily and ran a hand through his hair, making his bedhead even worse. It had been Jean's text that finally woke him up. He stretched and yawned before responding to the messages.

**[Eren to Sasha:]** yeah i'm down. how much are wings?

**[Eren to Connie:]** just told sasha i'm in

**[Eren to Jean:]** shut up and yeah i'm going

He threw his phone on the bed and walked towards the kitchen to start a pot of coffee brewing. After setting it up he went to take a shower knowing that the coffee would be done at roughly the same time as he got out of the shower. As the hot water washed over his body, Eren began to turn over just how normal the past two weeks had been for him. The fact that Hanji only texted him once a day to check in but made no other efforts at contacting him had rankled at first but he realized that Jean was right; if he wanted to get over his crush on Levi it was best if he maintained distance from him and the rest of the Survey Corps. He snorted as he realized that he was now taking life advice from a guy who a little over two weeks ago, he could barely stand to be in the same room with. Jean was right though and Eren did have to defer to him given Jean's situation with Marco and (to a lesser extent) the fact that he had actually dated people before and had to deal with getting over them.

Eren had never felt like the odd one out given that Marco, Connie and Mikasa had never dated anyone either and the only two people dating in their group were Ymir and Krista – he still couldn't fathom how Connie hadn't realized it sooner. He had always been aware of it in the back of his mind and after an offhand comment by Krista that the driver's side of the car was the least comfortable place for car sex he decided to avoid getting a ride from her unless he was truly desperate. The closest that he had ever come to dating anyone was with a guy he had met at work after moving to Trost. They had been strictly friends with benefits and lost touch after a few months when Sam moved back home after graduating from Trost University. Since then it was just the occasional one night stand – almost never anyone who he would run into again – and that was enough for him. When he had to worry about being kidnapped and letting Mikasa know where he was going to be if he did go home with someone the hassle frequently made it not worth his while. The time he had received a blowjob in the bathroom of a bar would have been ideal if it weren't for the fact that the bathroom smelled a little too strongly of stale urine. He wasn't a clean freak, but he did have standards.

He never really shared anything about his sex life with anyone unless he was extremely drunk and Sasha was egging him on. But sober or drunk, Sasha could be depended on to share every detail of her sex life without shame and with total disregard for other people's discomfort. Marco and Mikasa were usually the ones who ended up trying to get Sasha to stop oversharing, even if they were rarely successful. She played each story for laughs and their group usually ended up with emotions ranging from mortification to amusement and uproarious laughter. Eren was thankful that the vast majority of stories that he could tell were also humorous; one of the awful ones involved him being almost-kidnapped by one of Dr. Gloom's minions. He had told the story at party when Mikasa was on-patrol since it included him joking that he probably would have had sex with the guy anyway even after getting kidnapped because he was just that attractive. He knew that everyone thought he was joking even though he wasn't.

He smiled as he turned the water off and realized how much he was looking forward to seeing Connie and Sasha. He assumed that Ymir and Krista would be on-patrol if Sasha was taking the night off and Mikasa still wasn't able to resume hero work. Eren wondered if Marco would accompany them. For Jean's sake he hoped not.

After toweling off and throwing on some sweatpants he returned to the kitchen and poured himself a cup of coffee, inhaling the scent as he waited for the caffeine to enter his system. He noticed a note on the table and walked over to pick it up.

/Eren, I'm going out for coffee with Ymir and Krista and then picking up a few things at the grocery store.

Should be back around one. Don't do anything stupid.

Mikasa/

_Great. Thanks Mikasa, way to make me feel like a capable adult. I guess that leaves me completely free to watch bad horror movies for the next…_He looked at the clock …_four hours._

"I wonder if Jean's free to come over and marathon some bad movies."

"_Eren._ You should be working on your thesis." Eren groaned as Armin's disembodied voice filled the kitchen.

"I've been in the library constantly for the past two weeks, I need a break."

"You've also been staying up way too late hanging out with Jean every night _and_ you're planning on going out tonight as well."

"Armin, I need a break. An actual during-the-day break."

"If you aren't going to do schoolwork then go outside. You spend enough time in front of a screen as it is. Go out for a walk in the park and get some fresh air and sunshine, it's good for you."

"But _Armin…_" Eren whined Armin's name pathetically. "I don't want to. It's bright out."

"If you won't go outside then you need to get something productive done before you go out tonight. I will lock the door if you try to leave and I will bother you until you start working."

"Seriously Armin? Are you trying to go all HAL on me?"

"Eren, you need to work on your thesis. You've had a couple quiet weeks but who knows how long that's going to last."

"Fuck. Yeah, that's true isn't it? I could get kidnapped by a freak in a mask at any moment. Though I guess it's more likely to be the Military Police since nobody from the Survey Corps has found any evidence of the Titans tracking me." Eren paused and furrowed his brow. "That's really freaky actually. Either the Titans don't actually give a shit about me or somehow they've been giving the _Survey Corps_ the slip and fuck now I have goosebumps."

"Maybe you should get in touch with them? Just for your own peace of mind."

"Not exactly in the mood to deal with any of them right now. Apparently I'm completely unnecessary."

"Nobody ever said that, Eren."

"So then why the _fuck_ haven't I gotten more than a daily text of 'how are things going today, Eren?' from Hanji?" Eren slumped into one of the kitchen chairs and hunched over his coffee. "Not that I _want_ to have to deal with crazy people in masks, but I thought I was somehow important and not just a bargaining chip like usual."

"Have you ever thought that maybe they're trying to keep you safe while they follow some leads?" Armin's voice was gentle and Eren was seized (not for the first time) by a desire to have Armin be a real, physical person who could give him a hug.

"Is keeping me in the dark really going to keep me safe?" Eren took a sip of coffee and sighed heavily. "The morning at the diner, Levi said that it wasn't good to leave me completely in the dark but I guess that's okay now for whatever reason? He's such a fucking asshole, why do I even like him?"

"You have said that he's attractive."

"Yeah but… I kinda like him as in I want to be his friend too. He's attractive and he clearly needs to talk to _someone_ about shit."

"And you want that person to be you."

"It would be nice, yeah. Having something like I had with Sam would be nice."

"Sam?"

"Just a guy I knew before college." Eren stared into his coffee mug and Armin let him be.

_I want to be Levi's friend but I'd also really like to have him fuck me into a mattress. I mean, the two aren't exactly mutually exclusive. I just want him to not be a complete asshole to me and we can go grab some coffee and then go back to one of our places – ideally his – to have sex and that would be perfect. It's not like I'm looking for a fucking boyfriend or anything, just a friend with benefits._


	62. 62: Eyebfows

**Drunk Texting Eren is back with a vengeance! Also here's some fluff because we could all do with some fluff.**

**.**

Eren should have remembered that Sasha's definition of what a bar was differed greatly from most people. What Sasha called a 'bar' could more accurately be described as "a club that also serves very good bar food –specifically hot wings." After spending so many weeks cooped up in the library or being ferried around Trost to talk about Grisha the change in atmosphere was almost overwhelming. It had taken him a little bit to adjust to the lighting and the high energy environment, but after a round of tequila shots (courtesy of Jean) he had loosened up enough to actually enjoy himself rather than wanting to curl up in a dark corner.

Marco had ended up not coming with them for obvious reasons and Mikasa decided without any convincing from Eren that he would be just fine going out since Sasha was going to be with him. He knew that she wouldn't admit it, but if she wanted to resume hero work in a week or two (Armin projected she would be healed enough to go out then) she needed to take it easy for now. She had even voluntarily put off starting her morning run for almost a week after Armin had cleared her for it with the caveat of "as long as you take it easy" so that she wouldn't run the risk of irritating her neck. Eren could say that he was honestly impressed by her self-restraint compared to previous times where she had been injured, though it had never been this seriously before. He supposed that some of it had to do with her wanting to stay at home to protect him given everything that had been going on recently, but also that she didn't want to not be in peak condition if something happened to him just because she was pushing herself too hard too soon.

Realizing that his thoughts were taking a too-serious turn for the evening, he pulled himself out of his own mind and rejoined the conversation going on at their table. Currently that conversation consisted of Sasha pointing out women who she thought Connie might be interested in. It was really only a conversation in the loosest terms given that it consisted mainly of Sasha not-so-discreetly pointing women out and saying things like "She's a brunette, you usually watch porn with brunettes yeah?" and Connie blushing and mumbling while Jean had gotten the hiccups from laughing so hard.

"You always make this so difficult! You know what you like, so go for it!" Connie clamped his hand over Sasha's mouth.

"Not so loud!" Sasha pulled his hand off of her mouth and continued in a lower voice.

"You're the one who complains about being a virgin but you won't let me try and set you up with anyone. I _know_ you don't do so well in the romance arena but you really need to put yourself out there. Look, there's a girl over there from my abnormal psych class. Her name's Sarah and she's really nice and I can introduce you to her."

"Isn't she the one who thought Africa was a _country_ and not a continent?"

"Do you want to get laid or do you want a girlfriend?"

"I don't know… I just want to at least be able to talk to her and like her."

"Picking out someone based on personality compatibility isn't my strong suit…" Connie groaned and put his head in his hands before looking up at Jean.

"Do you have any advice?"

"I haven't dated anyone since my junior year of high school." Jean looked at him apologetically. "I'm uh… kind of not looking to date anyone right now? And I've been out of the dating game for a while so I don't know how much help I'd be."

"But you've _been_ on dates in college."

"Dates that were more like excuses to get to the good part…" Connie groaned and turned to Eren.

"Dude, you have to have some suggestion."

"First, I like men and that's kind of a different ball game entirely." Jean snorted and mumbled something about balls and Eren punched his shoulder while Sasha burst into laughter. "Second, you know there's only one person I've ever slept with more than once and it was a total fluke that he was also a good guy."

"And if he weren't a chill dude?"

"I mean, if he were a racist or a sexist that wouldn't have flown with me, but he wasn't and I really didn't care. He was nice." Connie looked slightly queasy as he looked at Jean and Eren.

"So basically I'm totally on my own here."

"Sasha's dated people too!" Jean pointed at her accusatorily.

"Yeah! Also in high school and it sucked. I don't _do_ relationships."

_"__Why does nobody in our friend circle like being in a relationship?!"_ Connie was practically yelling and the people at the table next to them gave them a weird look before turning back to their own conversation.

"You can always talk to Ymir and Krista."

"Eren that is probably the least helpful thing ever. Dude, can you even imagine trying to talk to Ymir about this shit?"

"So talk to Krista! Just don't ask her about car sex. Or get a ride in her car." Eren looked around the table and saw the weird looks they were all giving him. _Shit. I said that out loud._

"I think you just broke Connie." Sasha was trying to suppress a grin. "Okay, I'm getting another round. Who wants what and who's paying for this one? Jean got the last one…"

"Tequila. Lots of tequila." The horrified expression on Connie's face had the other three cracking up again. "No seriously guys. I get a ride from them every Tuesday to go to the grocery store after class."

"Oh fuck. I'm so sorry I said anything about it."

Two hours later found Sasha and Connie trying to match each other drink for drink while they complained about their mutual professors and Eren and Jean had broken off and gone to the bar to get drinks that _weren't_ tequila shots. While they waited Eren ended up getting a very detailed history lesson about Byzantine art that ended up turning into a lecture on an artist named Klimt or Clint – Eren couldn't figure it out over the noise at the bar. He nodded along to Jean's animated and one-sided discussion on the usage of metal and gold leaf on paintings. He felt a little bad about tuning Jean out, but the alcohol in his system was starting to take a toll on him and his mind was more than a little fuzzy. He noticed a tall, blond man seated on the other side of the bar from them and noticed that he was checking him out. Eren gave him a once over, trying to decide if it was worth going over once they got their drinks and Jean returned to where Connie and Sasha were seated. As he looked at him he had a sudden realization – he had massive eyebrows that were potentially even larger than Erwin's.

Eren turned away to get his drink as the bartender placed it on the counter. He and Jean stayed to drink a bit before heading back to reduce the probability of spilling it on themselves. As Jean paused in his lecture (Eren had no idea if he was still talking about Klimt or Clint or whoever) he realized that at that moment he _needed_ to share his discovery with another person. There was really only one other person who he could think of who needed to know about Tall, Blond and Handsome's eyebrows.

**[Eren:]** theres a guy at this bar with eyebfows bigger than erwins

He didn't really expect a response and Eren decided to head back with Jean rather than go over to the stranger. Fifteen minutes later, he was almost done with his drink when he felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. He pulled it out and had he been sober he probably would have been completely horrified. He had not –as he thought he had – texted Hanji.

**[Asshole McFuckface:]** That's impossible.

Instead of horror he could only be amused by Levi's message insisting that no other set of eyebrows could rival the size of Erwin's. He looked back up to find that the man at the bar checking him out again.

**[Eren:]** Issend you a phto but the lightening is sit

He felt a sudden desire to attempt to make Levi jealous.

**[Eren:]** Hes been chcking me out all nightd

**[Eren:]** He's really cjge. Isd tap that. Thnik I will

He looked back up at the man at the bar and smiled. He hadn't gone out tonight _intending_ to go home with someone, but that wasn't to say he couldn't be convinced otherwise if someone showed interest in him.

**[Asshole McFuckface:]** You are drunk enough that you are misspelling things badly. Don't be a fucking idiot, kid.

**[Eren:]** M fine

**[Eren:]** !

**[Asshole McFuckface:]** It's pretty fucking clear that you aren't.

**[Eren:]** Stop beng a kolljoy who axked youj anuway

**[Asshole McFuckface:]** You drunk texted me comparing someone's eyebrows to Erwin's and then told me that you want to fuck a stranger you met at a bar even though you can't even text coherently. I think that gives me the right to tell you that you shouldn't.

**[Eren:]** So what uo digtee with me going home with come sytrange ay a bar ?

Anger and frustration washed over him suddenly.

**[Eren:]** Uou think om a sult don;t you stop being fcking jidgmentl

**[Asshole McFuckface:]** What in the fuck? I'm telling you that you're too drunk to make an informed decision. You've got two different packs of lunatics looking to get a hold of you so think with your brain and not your dick. Jesus fucking Christ kid. Did your mom drop you on your head as a baby?

**[Eren:]** M moms ded . Asshoole mcfuxkface

**[Asshole McFuckface:]** Sorry.

**[Asshole McFuckface:]** Asshole McFuckface?

**[Eren:]** Yr name in mr phone

**[Asshole McFuckface:]** Lovely.

**[Eren:]** mybe if uou wernt sch an asshoole youd have a diffrenrt name

Ten minutes later, Levi still hadn't responded. He was still staring at his phone when Jean grabbed him by the arm and hauled him up telling him that Connie was waiting with a cab outside. They supported each other as they walked towards the exit slowly, trying not stumble.

"So why are you moping at your phone?"

"Made an ass of myself t'Levi." Eren was mumbling and Jean had to lean in to hear him.

"Why were you even texting him?" Jean spoke slowly, enunciating each syllable to avoid slurring.

"There was guy w'eyebrows."

"Riiiiiiiight. Okay. That is most people, Eren."

"Yeah but like… C'mmander Hands' eyebrows huge."

"You are making no sense right now."

"Stop talkin' like tha' you soun' like a robot."

"Well at least I sound less drunk than you do."

"Yeah bu' it's weird."

"So what did you text to Levi?"

"That I wan'd sleep with a guy. Told 'im he's Asshole McFuckface."

"What did he say?"

"Seriously, you soun' like a robot. Told me not t'think with my dick. Didn' respond to Asshole McFuckface though."

"Well when you wake up tomorrow and regret things you can text him back and apologize."

"Fuck no! He's the Asshole McFuckface!" Eren flailed an arm out and nearly hit someone as they walked through the doors, Jean pushed him towards the cab that Connie and Sasha were already in.

"Just get in the cab, Eren."

"Not gonna regret…"

The next morning Jean would be shocked that Eren slept through their drunken a capella rendition of Bohemian Rhapsody.


	63. 63: It's Whatever

Eren woke up with a pounding headache and a crick in his neck. His legs were cramped up uncomfortably close to his chest but not entirely on the bed. He went to stretch out his feet but instead of open space they came in contact with another body

As soon as his legs made contact, he bolted up and felt his head swim at the sudden change in position. He squinted against the bright light of the room and recognized Connie and Sasha's living room. He had been sleeping on their couch and the body on the other side of the couch was cursing and starting to sit up. As they pulled the blankets away he found himself staring at a very hungover and pissed off Jean with an awful case of bedhead.

"What the _fuck_, Jaeger? I was asleep!"

"I'm sorry! It's not like I meant to! I didn't know where the fuck I was." They were both glaring at each other and Jean looked like he was ready to murder Eren when Sasha walked in.

"Keep it down." She yawned widely. "Some of us are trying to sleep."

"Well I was trying to sleep too before _someone_ kicked me."

"Jeez, I thought you two were friends now. Stop fighting."

"He kicked me!"

"Just shut up. Both of you. Be useful and make some coffee. I'm going to shower."

"What time is it?" Eren brought his hands up to knead at his temples with his fingertips.

"_Almost_ eight in the morning and fuck you very much because we didn't get back until after two and Sasha and I had to carry your sorry ass up two flights of stairs because you fell asleep in the cab and apparently there's no waking you up once you're asleep."

"Sorry…"

"You go make the coffee. I'm staying right here."

"Yeah, fine." Eren stood up and stretched and it felt like half of his joints popped as he did so. He heard Jean mutter something about Rice Krispies and was about to walk to the kitchen when he froze. "Jean. There's no way I checked in with Mikasa did sh–"

"I texted her for you and told her you were crashing here." He pulled the blankets over his head and continued in a muffled voice. "Now go make the damn coffee."

Eren walked a few steps towards the kitchen before pausing and turning back to Jean again.

"Jean… where are my pants?" Jean pulled the blankets back angrily.

"Coffee. Go."

"But my pants…"

"I figured you'd be miserable enough this morning without having your junk being completely crushed all night."

"Thanks. But seriously, where are my pants?"

"On the armchair."

"Thanks." Eren pulled his jeans on before continuing to the kitchen to make coffee. Before he started setting up the coffee he gulped down a glass of water and then another after it was set to go. All things considered his hangover wasn't awful; it could have been far worse. He knew that the end of the night had been a bit shaky but he wasn't entirely sure what had happened. _Maybe I vaguely remember being carried up the stairs?_

Eren pulled his phone out of his pants pocket to check for any missed calls from Mikasa. He had a notification for two text messages; one was from Mikasa asking him to text when he woke up (he responded immediately) and the other –

_Levi? Why would Levi send me a text? Oh fuck. Oh fuck, I drunk texted Levi. Not only did I drunk text Levi, I drunk texted him about someone's e_yebrows _and I told Levi that I wanted to fuck Eyebrows Guy. How did I not remember that immediately?_

He looked at the message; it had been sent about two hours ago.

**[Asshole McFuckface:]** In an ideal world you aren't a fucking idiot and you're reading this some place you recognize. Drink some water.

He didn't even hesitate before texting back.

**[Eren:]** hey i'm really sorry about last night. i didn't go home with the guy and i just had some water.

The coffee finished with a strangled gurgling hiss and Eren went to go kick Jean off of the couch. He had heard Sasha get out of the shower a few moments before and knew that she would be on the way to the kitchen as well. Shockingly, Jean wasn't in a too-awful mood when Eren went to wake him up.

The three of them sat around the kitchen table sipping at their coffee and picking at some slightly stale bread from the bakery where Connie worked.

"So we aren't going to wake Connie up?"

"Nah, he threw up after you guys crashed and I'm pretty sure he was up for a while after. I'm glad he doesn't have any hair for me to worry about holding back. I was pretty gone myself. Which incidentally… Eren can you pretty please not tell that to Mikasa?"

"Don't worry, I'm not saying anything. If I did she would inevitably start asking questions that lead to 'I would have gone home with a guy at the bar' and I'm not in the mood to get lectured on that."

"What the hell, Eren? You were alone for all of five minutes the whole night _and_ that was right before I grabbed you to bring you out to the cab."

"Oooh. Details Eren. Details!" Sasha was grinning at Eren and Jean groaned and rolled his eyes. "Was he cute? What did he say? Do you have his number?"

"He was blond and pretty good looking but he had massive eyebrows. We didn't talk so no, I don't have his number."

"Didn't you just say that you would have gone home with him?" Jean was staring at Eren in confusion as he tried to puzzle it out.

"He was checking me out the entire time we were at the bar and looked over at me a few times when we went back to the table. He was clearly interested and I probably would have gone for it."

"Wait. That was at the end of the night? Like, the very end? _Eren,_ you were drunk off your ass! Jean and I had to carry you up the stairs and you were considering going home with someone? Are you fucking nuts?"

"Sasha, calm down. I didn't, so it's whatever."

"That… really isn't 'whatever' at all." Eren shifted uncomfortably under Jean's stare and hunched down to focus on his coffee mug.

"Look. Clearly I didn't even go over and ask his name so please let's just drop it." He straightened up and looked at the both them. "Please?"

They both shot him annoyed looks.

"Fine. I'm going to make some bacon." Sasha stood up from the table and went to pull out a frying pan and start it heating while she rummaged around the fridge. While she started to set things up to make eggs as well Jean spoke again.

"Before you passed out last night you said you drunk texted Levi. Should I assume that he's the one to thank for you being here and not waking up hungover in some stranger's bed?"

"Yeah. I made an ass of myself. I meant to text someone else entirely but maybe it was for the best that it was him. The person I meant to text wouldn't have replied until this morning probably."

"Did you apologize to him?"

"I texted him while I was making coffee. Turns out he sent me a message insanely early this morning checking in and telling me to drink water. Well, his version of checking in."

"What's his version?" Eren showed him the most recent text from Levi and Jean laughed. "I think I like this guy."

"Fuck off, Horseface."

"I thought you said you were going to stop calling me that." Jean shot him a sour look.

"If you're being a horse's ass I'm going to call you Horseface."

"Whatever. It's too early for this."

Eren was scrolling through his emails when his phone buzzed.

**[Asshole McFuckface:]** Congratulations, you aren't a complete idiot. And I decided I like the name.

**[Eren:]** it suits you. i am sorry about texting you though, i meant to text hanji

**[Asshole McFuckface:]** That answers that question.

**[Eren:]** didn't think i'd text you out of the blue?

**[Asshole McFuckface:]** I couldn't think of a single fucking reason why I would get a message about some fucker's eyebrows at one in the morning.

**[Eren:]** did i wake you up?

**[Asshole McFuckface:]** No. I'm about to finally get some sleep now.

**[Eren:]** up all night worried about me?

**[Asshole McFuckface:]** I have a job that requires me to be nocturnal most of the time.

**[Eren:]** well then… you were slacking off and texting me while at work? i'm flattered

**[Asshole McFuckface:]** Go fuck yourself. I'm not shadowing you anymore but I would be the first person who would be able to respond at night if something happened.

**[Eren:]** fucking christ, sorry…

**[Asshole McFuckface:]** Just go drink some fucking water.


	64. 64: Team Mom

The only commitment that Eren had was to go to the lab in forty-five minutes to feed the sticklebacks and record their various metrics. In spite of being not-entirely-awake he had decided that he absolutely had to have pancakes and after confusing teaspoons for tablespoons and having to redo the batter, he was finally waiting for the pan to heat up. He heard his phone go off and went to check it while the pan continued to heat.

**[Hanji:]** Good morning Eren! How's your morning going?

**[Eren:]** pretty okay. you didn't text yesterday. was sort of surprised

**[Hanji:]** Levi said that he ended up checking in with you yesterday morning since you drunk texted him the night before.

**[Hanji:]** Also apparently I was the intended recipient?

**[Eren:]** yeah, i saw a guy with eyebrows that I swear were bigger than erwin's

**[Hanji:]** Impossible!

**[Eren:]** that's what levi said too

He bit his lip and stared at his phone debating whether or not he really wanted to ask.

**[Eren:]** hey hanji… what's levi's deal?

**[Hanji:]** What do you mean?

**[Eren:]** he tells me he doesn't give a shit about me but then he tells me that i'm too drunk to go home with someone and yells at me to make sure i drink water when i've been out drinking

**[Hanji:]** It's not like he doesn't care at all. He's my friend and I freely admit he's an ass sometimes but he cares in his own way. He's not going to ignore you if you're in some sort of trouble.

**[Eren:]** i should really thank him… we texted the morning after but i didn't really

**[Eren:]** i kinda want to in person

**[Hanji:]** He's been out all night for the past few days, but he should be at HQ this afternoon. Actually, I wanted to talk to you too and I'll be around most of the day.

**[Hanji:]** Don't worry, it's not about Grisha! It's for my research. I've updated the security on the door so you should be able to open it yourself. I probably won't hear you knock.

**[Eren:]** okay

He turned back to the stove to continue making pancakes; the kitchen was quiet except for the hiss of the gas and odd clicking noise that their coffee pot always made. Eren had just finished pouring dollops of batter into the pan when he heard the front door open. He whipped around and inched towards the kitchen door with his spatula at the ready.

"Calm down, it's just Mikasa."

"Oh." Eren straightened up and allowed his body to relax at Armin's words.

"Her door was closed, I thought she was still asleep."

"She left to take a morning run a little while ago. She told you that she was leaving but I guess you weren't completely awake yet. You _had_ just gotten out of bed."

"Yeah, that would explain it."

Eren had started to flip the pancakes when Mikasa came into the kitchen. She downed a glass of water before turning to Eren.

"Good morning. You look infinitely more awake than when I left."

"He didn't even remember that you said you were going out for a run."

"Armin!"

"Seriously, Eren? It's like you're a zombie when you first wake up."

"Not true! I'm not always out of it when I wake up!"

"More than half the time you're nonfunctional until you have a cup of coffee. And you really need to cut back on your caffeine intake, it's really disturbing how much coffee you drink."

"I'll cut back once I've graduated. Until then… well, I'd like to not pass out while I work on my thesis."

"Or you could sleep more." Mikasa was glaring at him now.

"I don't have time to sleep right now. Just leave it, okay? I really need to focus on school right now and I'm already stressed about some group of crazy people who may or may not still be after me. Caffeine addiction is the least of my worries right now." Her glare softened into a worried look.

"Try and sleep more though, okay?"

"Yeah, I'll try. I need to go to the lab right now and uh… I'm supposed to meet with Hanji after." _And Levi, to thank him for telling me to not be an idiot._

"You haven't seen them in a couple weeks, do they have anything new?"

"I don't know yet." Eren started to put some of the pancakes into a plastic container and poured some coffee into a thermos.

"You aren't eating here?"

"I have to be there in less than half an hour and I still have to walk there. I'd rather get to the building and eat there than be rushing to get over there after eating."

"You'll be back by dinner?"

"What, don't want to cook for yourself?" He grinned and dodged Mikasa's attempt to punch him. She could have easily readjusted so that she hit him, but as gentle as she tried to be sometimes her superstrength meant she would hit him harder than she meant to. Especially now that she was almost healed.

"Yes. Now get going. And wear a jacket, it's a bit colder out than it's been and it isn't supposed to warm up much."

"Yeah yeah, I will."

Eren's shift at the lab was uneventful as always. There was one dead fish but other than that the rest of them seemed perfectly happy. He went through the motions, doing all of the things he needed to on autopilot since he was so familiar with everything by now. He let his mind go blank as he continued to go through his tasks until he was finally ready to leave.

_I finished earlier than I expected. Hanji didn't say anything about picking me up so I guess I'm taking the bus. Ah yes, I finally get to be an independent adult for the first time in weeks. Walking to and from campus isn't that big of a deal and it's nice to get rides at night from Jean, but actually getting out of the area by myself is really nice._

He paid the bus fare and watched the scenery pass by. The leaves on half the trees had already started to turn and the air was crisp. He found himself looking forward to Halloween and wondered whether or not he'd be _allowed_ to go out and do anything fun. Usually their whole group would go to a big party or club and every year Sasha would try and convince everyone that they should do themed costumes for their group. He and Jean would inevitably end up fighting about something stupid and Mikasa would refuse to participate unless she was able to wear a costume that she could fight in if she needed to and in the end it never happened.

_I wonder if Jean and I will be able to agree on something this year._

Eren made the transfer to the second bus and finally arrived at the Survey Corps' headquarters. He had barely touched the door when it clicked open. He hesitated a moment before remembering that Hanji _had_ told him that it was okay if he just let himself in – that they might be busy working and not here him. He stepped through the door and felt himself growing more nervous as he walked down the dark hallway and out into the main room of the building.

He knew he was a bit earlier than Hanji probably anticipated but he had assumed that them saying that they would be around all day meant that they would actually _be_ there. Instead he walked in and saw two people sitting at a large workbench looking over a pile of papers. It took his eyes a brief moment to adjust from the darker hallway to the much brighter central room, but he quickly recognized that one of the people at the table was Mike and the other was… someone he didn't recognize. He stood awkwardly at the threshold of the room debating if he should just walk in or call out first, he figured it would be rude not to say anything but also couldn't think of something appropriate to say. His thoughts were cut off when Mike spoke.

"Eren, if Hanji gave you clearance you can come in. You don't need to wait for permission."

"Okay… I just expected Hanji to be here."

"They had to run out to get something from the hardware store." The person sitting next to Mike had short blond and clearly would be fairly tall when they stood up. They looked up from the papers and gave Eren a warm smile. Their androgynous features had Eren deciding that he was reserving any and all guesses as to their gender. He had known Hanji preferred neutral pronouns long before he had met them, but whoever this was… he didn't recognize them. Adding to his confusion was the fact that they weren't wearing a mask so he couldn't even guess if they were a hero or not since he at least knew of all the superheroes in the greater Trost area.

"Hi… I'm Eren."

"I'm Nanaba." They stood and extended their arm to shake his hand. "I'm Mike's wife but you're probably more familiar with me as Lady Lightning."

"Oh um wow. Hi!" _Don't freak out. You got used to being around the Survey Corps, you can handle being in the same room as Lady Lightning. Just breathe._

"Did Hanji say why they wanted you here? I didn't think that we had any more developments in the past few days." Mike's confusion was written clearly on his face.

"Something about their research. Wait, so things have happened since the last time I talked to you guys? Nobody has said a word to me and it's a little freaky actually."

"I'm sorry Eren. Please trust us for now."

Eren mumbled quiet words of assent before sitting down at the table with the both of them. The silence was deafening; clearly he had interrupted them going over information that they couldn't share with him, but without Hanji's presence there was nothing for him to do.

"I hear that you're a good cook." Eren was surprised by Nanaba breaking the silence.

"Yeah? I mean, yeah I am but where did you hear that?"

"Hanji said that you made dinner a couple weeks ago."

"And forced Levi to eat something that wasn't garbage. I wish I'd seen his reaction to being forced to eat someone else's cooking without being told beforehand."

"He wasn't a complete jerk." Mike was clearly trying not to laugh as Eren continued to talk. "Does he actually like eating gross-ass pre-made food?"

"I doubt it, but he also won't let Mike teach him to cook anything. And no offense to Hanji, but they aren't the greatest cook. Come to think of it, I don't think Erwin cooks for himself much either. I guess I lucked out when I was picking out a husband." Nanaba and Mike smiled at one another briefly before turning back to Eren.

"As you can see, my cooking skills are greatly appreciated."

"He's like the Survey Corps' team mom, making sure everyone is well-fed."

"Well I don't know about the two of you but when I think about my mother, I think of cleaning just as much as I think of food." Eren's smile faltered. _When I think of my mother I think of helping her make baklava… but also…_

"So what then, Levi is the actual team mom here?" Nanaba's smile was infectious and Eren could feel his own mood picking back up again as a result of her joke; thinking of Levi as being a motherly figure was hilarious. Mike chuckled and intertwined his fingers with Nanaba's and Eren felt torn between feeling awkward being around an actually physically demonstrative couple and feeling happy because he was sitting with two people who were so very clearly in love. When they separated their hands Mike continued the conversation.

"I can't really complain. It's nice to have a clean headquarters, but Levi definitely acts like my mother when it comes to cleaning."

"I'm sorry but _who_ acts like your mother when it comes to cleaning?"

None of them had noticed, but Levi had arrived at some point in the past few minutes and was currently standing at the end of the hall glaring at the three of them. Nanaba and Mike quickly looked down at the papers in front of them, acting like neither of them had said anything. Unfortunately for Eren, there was absolutely nothing he could do to occupy himself with and was faced with the choice of either staring down at his hands or staring at Levi. He knew that the first option was the safe one but he really couldn't resist looking at Levi with his arms crossed and hip cocked out as he smirked and –

Out of the corner of his eye Eren saw Nanaba look up and do a double take.

"You aren't wearing a mask?"

**.**

**For a list of everyone's superpowers and costumes go to chapter four of the ALYNA Asides: fanfiction dot net/s/10713081/4/The-ALYNA-Asides  
><strong>**Nanaba wasn't in the original document so I'm going to add her stuff here.**

**.**

**LADY LIGHTNING**

Power to create and control lightning and electrical currents. She can control the voltage of her power and like, 99% of the time she uses non-lethal voltage but she isn't above using lethal voltage if she has to. She wears a catsuit like Levi since she can't afford to have stray material potentially catching fire if her electrical currents hit something flammable. Her original uniform didn't offer the greatest protection since it had to be predominantly made of lightweight rubber / synthetic fiber blend so that she didn't electrocute herself but it didn't allow for the greatest range in motion. Hanji helped design her new uniform which is made with a teflon / synthetic fiber blend and is able to offer better padding, flexibility and physical protection in addition to better protection against her own powers.

Nanaba has absolutely bitching powers since there are conductors all over the place so she can telegraph her powers pretty fucking far if necessary. Plus, being able to create / control electricity works pretty damn well if there's a power outage or anything like that.

TL;DR Nanaba is amazing.


	65. 65: Curious About You Too

"You aren't wearing a mask?"

Nanaba's surprise had caused Mike to look up as well. His eyes widened ever so slightly for a brief moment and his eyes darted between Levi and Eren. It was clear that Mike and Nanaba expected some sort of response and Eren wasn't about to say anything; it was entirely up to Levi as to how he wanted to play it.

"I didn't bother wearing one when we were playing Twenty Questions with the kid. He's seen my face now so I don't see why I should start wearing a mask again." Levi shrugged and walked off in the direction of Hanji's work station. "Mike, have you seen a red external hard drive around here? Hanji said it's around here but I'm not seeing it."

Mike got up from the table and walked over to help Levi look for the drive. Nanaba frowned but turned to continue shuffling through the papers. Leaning over Eren could see that they were blueprints, but of what he couldn't even begin to guess. He was just far enough away that he could only see vague outlines of the shapes. Besides, his thoughts were mostly occupied by Levi's half-truth.

_I saw his face way before dinner at Hanji's. There was the time he tried to do self-defense lessons with me – and I really would have liked to continue those – and at the diner the one morning he had his hat pushed almost all the way back so he might as well not have been wearing one and then there was when he picked me up to go grocery shopping. I get not mentioning the self-defense lesson; that was a shit show but the rest…_It started to dawn on him that Levi was leaving out the diner because he told him things he wasn't supposed to know at the time. And the grocery shopping trip was just another awkward encounter filled with the familiar feelings of kindness and coldness that Eren associated with Levi.

Mike and Levi were still shuffling around Hanji's work station, carefully moving things and trying to put the clutter back exactly where they found it while they looked for the hard drive. He could hear Levi muttering about the lack of organization and cleanliness and could see that Mike was trying to hold back a smile. He was still watching them vaguely when they all heard the outside door open and Hanji came bounding in with two shopping bags in hand. Levi didn't even give Hanji a moment to set things down before he addressed them.

"Shitty goggles, you said the drive was on your desk. We've been looking for fifteen minutes now and I haven't found shit." Eren was taken aback by Levi's angry tone whereas everyone else seemed to take it in stride.

"It's not there?" Hanji was looking confusedly at Levi. "I left it on top of the filing cabinet."

"There is a stack of _dirty plates_ on top of the filing cabinet." Hanji walked over and unlike Levi was able to easily see the top of the tall cabinet. They reached up and grabbed what turned out to be a red external hard drive. Eren could see a muscle twitching in Levi's jaw as Hanji held it out to him.

"No fucking way am I touching that thing until it's been disinfected. I can't remember the last time we used those dishes and I don't even want to think about what crap is on that thing."

"Fine, fine." Hanji grabbed a box of disinfecting wipes (Eren noticed that there was dust on the box) from under their desk and rubbed down the drive before handing it to Levi. This time he grabbed it without issue.

Eren had expected him to immediately walk off with it to look at whatever was on it, but instead he set it back down on Hanji's desk and spoke again in an exasperated but somewhat gentle voice.

"Hand me those dishes. I'll go wash them and the rest of what's in the sink." He watched as Hanji grabbed the plates from on top of the cabinet and as they turned to hand them off they finally noticed Eren sitting awkwardly at the table where Mike had returned and continued to go over the blueprints from earlier. Levi stood with his hands out but Hanji didn't hand the plates off as they addressed Eren.

"Eren! I didn't expect you to be here to soon."

"Yeah, I finished at the lab earlier than I expected."

"Okay, well I need to put these things away, so if you can give me fifteen minutes…"

"That's fine." Hanji finally handed off the plates to Levi and he gave them a disgusted look before walking off towards the kitchen. Eren continued to sit awkwardly at the table while being thoroughly ignored by the other three people in the room. He figured that he might as well make himself useful and followed Levi.

Levi was facing away from the door when Eren entered the kitchen. He had put the plates in the sink and was currently pouring the contents of a bottle of cheap vodka over the plates he had recently received from Hanji.

"Gross, is that the shit you gave me the other night? That's practically lighter fluid." Levi didn't turn as he finished pouring every last bit of the liquor over the plates. "You had me drink something that you're using to disinfect _plates_."

"No, we finished that bottle ages ago. Hanji has sunk to new levels of shitty vodka. Though I think this one might actually be intended for experiments. Either way, I'm doing them a favor." He set the empty bottle aside. "Don't fucking buy anything in a plastic bottle unless you want to risk going blind."

"No shit. I've been able to buy my own for two years and I have a decent paying job. No way in hell am I going back to drinking crappy alcohol like before."

"So you're implying that you were drinking before you were of age. That's illegal you know." Levi finally looked back and Eren's eyes darted away as he shifted awkwardly. Levi gave an exasperated sigh. "Kid, I'm not the law, I'm a fucking vigilante. We don't give a shit if you've done a few shots when you were seventeen. If you were working for a syndicate selling drugs that would be a different story entirely."

Eren's mind caught on the word immediately.

"A vigilante? Not a superhero?"

"I'll wash, you dry." Eren froze for a moment. He felt like he had missed a step walking up a flight of stairs with the abrupt change of topic. Levi gestured to a drawer a few feet away. "There are dish towels in there."

"O-okay. Right." Eren grabbed a dish towel and started drying dishes as Levi passed them off to him and stacking them on the side as he finished drying them. _Vigilante versus superhero…? He thinks of himself as a vigilante but not a superhero. Even though he works with a group of people who call themselves superheroes. Is there such a big difference? I guess "superhero" seems more respectable doesn't it? They're role model, people you want to look up to. They're symbolic. But a vigilante is just someone taking justice into their own hands. Is that what Levi thinks of himself as? Just someone who dishes out justice?_

He pulled himself out of his thoughts as Levi handed the last dish to him.

"Hanji's probably done putting their shit away. Try not to have too much fun answering their questions. Just remember, it's _for science_."

Eren quickly realized just how sarcastic Levi was being when he said to not have too much fun. Thus far he had enjoyed talking to Hanji about their research, but apparently once they got going they were unstoppable and the questions they were asking became more and more invasive. He looked away from Hanji for a moment, pretending that he had to cough and saw that there was nobody there to save him; Mike and Nanaba had left and Levi was nowhere to be seen either. He said a silent prayer to whatever deity might exist that _something_ would happen to distract Hanji.

Ten minutes later his prayer was answered when Erwin walked in.

"Hanji, if you aren't busy I'd like to talk to you about –" He immediately stopped speaking when he saw Eren and frowned and paused. "It isn't particularly pressing, I can wait."

"No!" Eren looked at the both of them sheepishly. "I need to get home anyway. I promised my sister I wouldn't be home too late and it's uh… getting to about the time I need to head home." _Liar._

"I'm sorry Eren, I didn't realize that you needed to be home by a certain time. You should have told me." Hanji was looking at him giving him an apologetic look.

"It's totally okay. I'll be fine. See you… at some point?" _Am I going to have to just show up here and refuse to leave until they give me some answers?_

"Probably in a few days. Hanji will be in touch with you." Erwin gave him a slight smile. "Thank you for being patient with us."

"Yeah. No problem." _No, really fucking big problem. I don't know shit._

Eren grabbed his things and moved quickly towards the door before Hanji could think of anything else to ask him. The brightness of the main room had blinded him slightly and when he walked into the hallway he ended up walking directly into Levi.

"Shit, I'm sorry. I couldn't see." The apology was immediate and he braced himself for some sort of sarcastic remark but none came.

"Everyone keeps saying they're going to replace the bulb and nobody ever does." Eren wasn't entirely sure from Levi's tone if he was stating that _to him_ or simply musing to himself.

"Still… sorry for crashing into you."

"Hm. Done playing a second round of Twenty Questions with Hanji? How much _fun_ did you have?" _There's the sarcasm we all know and love._

"It was an… experience." He chose his words carefully, trying not to say anything that might be misconstrued. He did like Hanji and he knew that Hanji and Levi were fairly close.

"You're putting it pretty lightly."

"Okay fine, it fucking sucked. I didn't realize that I needed to share my bowel movements with them _for science_." Eren mimicked Levi's earlier tone and heard the other man snort in amusement. He suddenly felt a little weird about the situation. _We're standing in a practically unlit hallway talking about whatever._"Anyway, I'm heading out. It was nice to see everyone for once."

Levi didn't react to the jab at their near-complete lack of contact with Eren over the past two weeks.

"Do you need a ride?" Eren felt everything come to a screeching halt, like he had been blindsided. Eren felt a sudden surge of frustration course through his body.

"Be friendly or be an asshole. Pick one." It came out a bit harsher than he wanted but the strangeness of the situation amplified everything. He fumed all the way to the bus stop and as he sat there he felt the frustration to uncurl.

The first bus was packed but after he made the transfer the second bus was almost empty and dead silent, leaving Eren alone with his thoughts. _All he did was offer a ride. And fuck, I didn't even thank him for the other night. Good job, Eren... It's not just him who's fucking up here, is it? It was just so out of the blue and half the times we talk we end up being assholes. Him more than me, but still. He didn't have to offer but he did_

_He didn't have to respond to my texts the other night either._

_He didn't have to check in with me the next morning._

_"__It's not like he doesn't care at all… he cares in his own way."_ Eren mulled over Hanji's earlier text as he watched the sky began to darken. _He cares because I'm important to the Survey Corps and he cares because that's what a hero does. He doesn't think of himself as a hero but he wouldn't do this if he was a complete misanthrope. And that's really what it comes down to isn't it? He can value human lives, but that doesn't mean that he likes interacting with people. He values humanity as a whole but he refuses to connect or interact with individual people._

_"__You seem really fucked up and I'm curious."_

_I'm curious about you too._


	66. 66: Capture

It had been a while since Eren had seen Marco, but when they had bumped into each other between classes he had insisted that they grab lunch together. For all the discomfort between Marco and Jean, Eren still considered Marco to be a close friend.

"We haven't had lunch together in ages, I thought you might have decided that we couldn't be friends anymore after what happened with Jean." Marco gave Eren a half-hearted smile.

"Never! I knew that the both of you needed some space to process everything and I figured I might as well try to get to know my new old friend."

"Well, circumstances aside, I _am_ glad that you and Jean are friends now."

"It's nice. I _have_ missed you though."

"Yeah, same."

They lapsed into a calm silence and Eren couldn't help but be distracted by the world outside the cafe windows. The sky was bright blue and the leaves were turning and the air was crisp and cool and refreshing. He could see construction paper cutouts of pumpkins and bats in windows and smiled; Halloween wasn't too far away. After a moment they both got up and cleared their plates before going outside again. They walked together as they caught up with one another, chatting about classes and their respective theses and complaining about how many first year students still needed directions to some of the buildings.

"Excuse me?" The voice was tentative and came from behind them. Both Marco and Eren turned around to face the woman who had called out. She was young and blond and Eren couldn't quite put a name to her face. _I think she's a first year bio student?_

"Can we help you?" Marco's smile was angelic even though the two of them had just been complaining about first years not knowing where things were. Eren couldn't help but roll his eyes.

"We have a few questions."

It all happened in slow motion. Eren could see Marco's puzzled expression turn to shock as someone grabbed him from behind and shoved a rag over his face; he struggled a moment before his body went limp. Eren could feel arms coming from behind him as well and was unable to react in time; it was all happening and he couldn't stop it. He was forced to face the woman as he was grabbed and went wide-eyed in shock and recognition. _She was flirting with me on the bus the other night._ Eren fought against the haziness in his mind as he and Marco were dragged into a van, trying to gather as much into his memory as possible. He had long since learned that anything could be useful later on. Just before he went unconscious he saw his assailant. _And that's Eyebrows Guy from the bar._

Everything went dark.

**.**

**Mini-chapter with a cliffhanger to start off the new arc! There are a couple more chapters to transfer but the formatting is going haywire. I'll just post the ones that I haven't transferred yet when I finish the new chapter.**


	67. 67: Alliance

The five of them were sitting together when Hanji's cellphone began to ring. It startled them out of their discussion about what they were eating for dinner; Mike and Nanaba were insisting on pizza while Erwin, Hanji, and Levi were arguing for Vietnamese food.

"Were you expecting a call? I didn't think Moblit or Nifa would have anything for us so quickly?" Erwin was looking at Hanji's phone as it vibrated a tap dance across the table.

"No, it's not a number I recognize. I'll let it go and see if they leave a voice mail." There was only a brief pause after it stopped ringing before it started again. "Well that's rude."

"Pick the damn thing up Hanji." A concerned look had settled across Mike's face. "Something's wrong."

Hanji stared at Mike for a moment in surprise and their cell phone started ringing for a third time. Hanji frowned at the number before picking up.

"Hello, who –" Hanji was immediately cut off by the person on the other end.

"Is this someone from the Survey Corps? I think you're supposed to be Dr. Scientist?" The voice coming from the phone was pitched high and panicked. "I'm Red –I'm Eren's sister. I need your help, Eren is missing."

Dead silence hung over the table.

"This is Dr. Scientist – Hanji. We're all listening on speaker, please tell us what happened. Are you sure that something _has_ happened to Eren?"

"Eren was on his way to class but he never showed up." Levi snorted loudly.

"It's not our fucking problem if your brother decides to skip class."

"Armin –our AI – tracks the location of Eren's phone which Eren keeps on him at all times. Even when the phone itself is dead, the tracker will emit a faint but traceable signal for a couple more hours. The entire signal disappeared all at once today and all of our friends have already helped to try and find him. We also discovered that another of our friends is missing as well."

The five of them all exchanged glances and Hanji immediately stood up to walk the short distance to their work station, hands at the ready and hovering over the keyboard.

"You have our attention." Erwin's voice was calm and focused. "What was his last known location?"

"Pine St. between 103rd and 104th. There's a café nearby that we all go to a lot."

Hanji's fingers were already flying across the keyboard, pulling up aerial and street view maps as they began to search for any security cameras they could potentially tap into.

"What time did you lose track of his signal?" Hanji was yelling so that their voice was audible to Mikasa.

"It was 2.13pm."

"And you're sure of the time and location?"

"Armin taps into a sophisticated satellite network. I know it's not entirely le –"

We don't give a shit." Levi interrupted Mikasa abruptly. "What else do you have?"

"Well our friends –some of whom are also heroes – already checked all of the usual places that he might be normally since the last time this happened it turned out he dropped his phone in a fish tank." Mike snorted and tried to cover it up with a cough. "But another friend of ours who he was having lunch with disappeared as well. We don't have the ability to access his phone and track it but you might."

"I think I've got something!" Hanji's voice rang out, full of excitement. All eyes turned to them. "It's not much but it's a start. There's a van obstructing the closest security camera's view, but at 2.06pm Eren and another boy – dark hair, slightly taller – passed behind the van and were followed by a blonde woman. When the van drives away at 2.12pm they're no longer there. Eren doesn't seem like the kind of person to not know the Stranger Danger song so I would put money on neither of them getting into that van willingly."

"Is there a license plate number? Anything useful?" Mikasa's voice was strained.

"I don't have a good view of the plate at this angle. I'll check a few other cameras in the area to see if those caught a better angle. All I've got is that their plate number starts with P and is followed by what I'm pretty sure is an 8, but there's a chance it could be a B. There are a hell of a lot of white vans out there and this one doesn't have any distinguishing marks on it. This is going to be like finding a needle in a haystack. Even if we get a full view of the plate, it would still take hours to track it down." Hanji paused and grimaced. "If this is the best I can do this is going to take days. It's already almost 3pm and if they've already taken them outside of Trost…"

Hanji trailed off and there was only staticky silence on the other end of the phone. There was the sound of a shaky inhale before Mikasa spoke again.

"Whatever you need to do to find Eren, do it. If you need extra man power you have me and three of our friends who are also heroes. I don't know if you would know them but we're friends with The Hunter, Historia, and Savage Dancer."

"You're all Eren's age?" Nanaba was making a pained face, the concern carrying over to her voice.

"And all of us have been on the streets patrolling for _at least_ two and a half years now." Mikasa's tone was snappish. "I was attacked by the Titans a month ago and now they've taken my brother and a close friend of ours. I'm not about to sit back watch – none of us are." Nanaba's face still looked pained, but she leaned back in her seat and nodded in silent assent.

"We accept, but we have conditions." Erwin's tone made it clear that he would brook no attempts to negotiate.

"What are your conditions?" Mikasa's voice was tight and she was clearly gritting her teeth as she spoke.

"We take point on the search and strategizing the rescue. Of course we will keep you in the loop, but we would prefer things to not get muddied. I believe I'm correct in assuming that we have more experience in these sorts of situations than you do."

"You'll keep us informed and include us in your plans? Include us in the search?" Mikasa's voice was suspicious.

"As best as possible. If we have to move quickly we might have to contact you _as_ we move out. Ideally this will not be the case, but there's a chance it will happen. And yes, we will include you in the search. Please understand that this means taking directions from us." Erwin's voice was gentle but firm.

"Fine."

"Is this phone number the best way to contact you? We'll be reaching out again in the next hour."

"Yes."

"Thank you for trusting us to help."

"I don't think we have any choice at this point."

There was a click as Mikasa hung up abruptly.

"Charming."

"Levi, her brother was just kidnapped." Hanji's tone was stern and glared as their eyes met. He broke his gaze away first and leaned back in his seat, his face blank.

"Mike, what does your nose tell you?" Erwin was staring at him intently.

"Danger. A lot of danger. We need to be careful – for everyone's sake."

Nanaba's body was still tense as she put out her hand to intertwine it with Mike's. She looked down and frowned at their hands, lost in thought. Mike turned to face her and squeezed her hand, she looked up to meet his concerned look with a weak smile.

"Gross. Save the lovey-dovey couple shit for later." Nanaba and Mike both glared at Levi; he raised his hands in a gesture of apology and leaned further back into his seat. Nanaba rolled her eyes at him but her face quickly became serious again.

"They're children." Her voice was barely above a whisper.

"All of them are heroes. Young, yes; but not stupid and not inexperienced. It's entirely their choice and we need to face the reality of this situation. We all know that Hanji was giving an ideal estimate, not necessarily a realistic one. We need the man power." Erwin's voice was soft and he met all of their eyes in turn. "This is hardly my first choice, but right now I think it may be the only good one."

Silence settled over their group again as they lost themselves in their own thoughts. Levi was starting to get up to make some tea when Hanji began to speak, their tone tentative.

"I just might have a better partial on the license plate. I don't think I'm going to get much better than this. It would be a waste of time to try and focus on getting something more exact than this before we begin to run a search."

"When you say 'partial' how partial do you mean?" Erwin's brow furrowed deeply as he spoke.

"I already said the plate starts with a P and I can say pretty definitively that it's followed by an 8 and then a 3. Given the angle I can't be certain about the fourth. I'd give it a fifty-fifty chance between it being an L or a D. It's only half of a plate, but it's better than nothing."

"You can't do any better?"

"I wish I could Erwin, but it would be a waste of time. I'm going to start with this and I can continue to look through security camera feeds but it hit a lot of traffic and then a blind spot. I'd be sifting through ten different feeds just to find out where it _might_ have gone next. That's time that I could be spent trying to track down more leads. What do we want to guess at so I can prioritize? Titans or the MP?"

"What do your instincts say, Mike?" He disentangled his hand from Nanaba's to scratch at his stubble.

"We haven't seen or heard a damn thing that was concrete about the Titans since the first time they caught Eren. We've only got unreliable information from that MP guy Levi brought in and a few informants say that they're almost nonentities since Smiles died. She's the one who had her little gang terrorizing parts of the city. They've kept a low profile since then. Nothing out of the ordinary; drug deals with the syndicates, whispers about the recent bank heist being tied to them, but nothing really concrete. I've tapped out all my contacts' information. Even Skunks won't talk for money." Mike looked over at Levi. "You've been doing night recon down in the warehouse district and at the docks. Anything interesting?"

"Like you said: they're dealing with the syndicates. If they had anything to do with the heist then that's probably why they're suddenly more active there."

"You've been watching major drug deals going down and you haven't done a thing, Levi?" Nanaba's voice was exasperated.

"I told him to take a hands-off approach. Engage only if absolutely necessary." Erwin gave her an apologetic look.

"I don't even know if they're actually a part of the Titans or just fucking middle men. Honestly, I don't even know if they're buying drugs. There hasn't been much of a rise in street activity so they might be dealing in something else entirely."

"You've been down there regularly the past few nights. If you had to hazard a guess that as to what they're buying besides drugs what would it be?" They were all looking intently at Levi.

"Weapons. A lot of weapons."

**.**

**The likelihood that I will get to mention this in the super near future is minimal, so I'm going to just give you a quick blurb about Moblit and Nifa.**

**Hanji went to college with the both of them. They are the SC's contacts with the Trost police department. Nifa works in the crime scene lab so she has access to all of the databases and can give them information about autopsies and what the police find at crime scenes and the SC can feed her information in return (e.g. check for xyz thing that is the signature of a specific group or w/e). Moblit works as a detective so he can give them information about what the police are doing on the streets and let the SC know if there are any administrative change-ups happening. Similar to their relationship with Nifa, they can let him know if they think anything big is about to go down at the street-level or whatever.**

**I'm not sure how much they'll actually be showing up though which is a bummer because I love Moblit.**


	68. 68: Regroup

Five sets of eyes snapped to Mikasa as she re-entered the kitchen.

"So what did they say?" Jean's question came before she could even say a word.

"Well clearly they're going to help since they also have an interest in Eren not staying kidnapped. But they had a condition."

"What do they want from us?" Sasha gave Mikasa a puzzled look. "We don't have any resources that even approach what they have."

"They're taking point on the search and rescue. They said they'll keep us in the loop and include us but they're organizing everything."

"And if we don't want to?" Ymir's tone was defiant.

"I already told them we would. We don't have any other choice. If I had said no they would have gone and done whatever they're going to do and we wouldn't know a damn thing. This way we know what's going on." Mikasa paused for a moment. "I think they need the manpower too. Especially given what Dr. Scientist found while I was on the phone."

"Well what did they say?"

"Marco and Eren were kidnapped and pulled into an unmarked white van." She held up her hand to forestall any questions. "They only got a partial view of the plate number and they _are_ right when they say that without a complete plate or any identifying marks it's going to be like finding a needle in a haystack. They've been missing for about forty-five minutes now and Dr. Scientist made the good point that if they're heading out of Trost…"

The entire room was silent as everyone thought about what that meant.

"So are they running even the partial plate? Is somebody looking at where they were taken from? Are they doing anything right now? Because I can think of more than a few things that they should be doing." Sasha's tone was frustrated and she was staring demandingly at Mikasa. "Did they say anything?"

"They said they'd call within the hour. They wanted to check on things before getting back to us I guess and it's not really worth staying on the phone while they run some searches."

"Well let me talk to them the next time they call. This is my specialty, tracking is what I _do_."

"I _know_ Sasha." Mikasa snapped at her and everybody stood on edge for a moment before Mikasa let out a shaky breath and relaxed. "I'm sorry. I know you're trying to help. It's just that this is more stressful than I'm used to. Eren gets kidnapped more than either of us would like but it's never been like this before."

"So what now? We just wait for them to call?" Jean's voice was quiet as he slumped against the wall.

"Yeah. I don't this it's going to be too long."

They all stood in silence, absorbed in their own thoughts as they waited for the phone to ring.

It wasn't even a call that roused them from their positions.

**[Hanji:]** Corner of 10th and Spring. Thirty minutes.

It wasn't the most pleasant drive with all six of them piled into Jean's car. Ostensibly it sat five but was only comfortable with four; with six it was almost unbearable. The ride was made more unpleasant by the fact that they got stuck in traffic so what should have been just under half an hour ended up being forty minutes.

"Jean. Drive faster." Mikasa was practically growling at him as Jean gripped the steering wheel tightly, knuckles going white.

"I'm already going over the speed limit."

"I don't give a shit. We're already running late and every minute we spend not doing something productive is a minute that could be dedicated to finding Eren."

"You think I don't fucking know that already, Mikasa!? And don't forget that Marco's missing too okay!?" Jean's outburst was loud enough that everyone in the car cringed. Mikasa deflated slightly and turned to look out the window.

"I'm sorry. I forgot…" Jean tensed up and Mikasa paused. "I forgot how long you've known Marco."

"Let's just get this over with." His shoulders dropped as he relaxed slightly.

"Should we even be coming along? Jean and I aren't exactly heroes… we aren't even _sidekicks._"

"Hey Connie, you _said_ it would be super cool to meet the Survey Corps. Well now you get to!" Sasha was beaming at him.

"Not like this th–"

"We're here! Now everybody get out so I can breathe again." Sasha interrupted Connie loudly and shoved at Ymir to open the door. Everyone stepped out and stretched as they walked the half-block to the corner.

"There's nobody around but I still feel awkward walking around with my regalia in broad daylight." Krista touched her tiara to straighten it. "At least I can fit the damn scepter and mask in my bag."

"Babe, you look gorgeous." Ymir draped her arm around Krista's shoulders who rolled her eyes and shrugged Ymir off. As they got to the corner they began to look around, trying to find something that might indicate where they were supposed to be going. Mikasa's phone chimed again.

**[Hanji:]** 1037 on 10th. Take the elevator to the third floor #3B

Mikasa gave her phone a disgruntled look before walking down the street looking for the correct building with everyone else in tow, grumbling to herself.

"Because it's not at all obvious that a large group of people are going to this location or that one of them is carrying a bow and another has a tiara on and a scepter sticking out of her bag. We'd only look normal on _Halloween_…"

"Hey, my bow and quiver aren't that obvious and okay yeah, Krista is wearing a tiara but I can't really see her scepter."

"My point is that if they're trying to do this without attracting any attention this doesn't make sense."

"Maybe they expected us to _not_ meet with them all geared up?"

"I _highly_ doubt that _they're_ going to be unmasked so _we_ aren't going to be either."

Sasha rolled her eyes at Mikasa's back as she entered the building first and Ymir scoffed as they walked through the unlocked main door and headed towards the elevator.

"Not very security-minded are they?" She looked at the elevator button as she pressed it. "They aren't even _trying_ here, are they? How have they not been killed yet?"

"_Ymir,_ they knew we were coming."

"Always so quick do defend others! Isn't Historia so very sweet and kind?"

"Shut _up_, Ymir." Krista swatted at Ymir with her scepter as she put her mask on. Mikasa pulled her scarf up further on her face and Sasha put her mask on as well and shifted her bow and quiver so that it sat more comfortably – and more prominently – on her back. Jean and Connie gave each other serious looks and shook hands and nodded at each other causing Sasha to start laughing.

"Are you forgetting why we're here?" Mikasa hissed her words through clenched teeth and glared over her scarf. Sasha immediately stopped laughing and leaned against the elevator wall.

The elevator dinged and the doors opened.

**.**

**I'm pretty sure I mentioned this in chapter one, but there is character death in this fic and it happens in this arc. Also there will be blood and violence and I'll be bumping this to an M rating either the next chapter or the one after that even though nothing will really be happening for a bit longer. I just want to make sure y'all are aware of shit.**


	69. 69: The Meeting

**Okay so now y'all are caught up to me posting chapters in real time. Updates will _not_ be in 20+ chapter chunks anymore.**

**.**

The hallway they stepped into was empty and slightly shabby, the same as the rest of the building. There were only two doors which made finding #3B very simple. Mikasa hesitated a moment to take a deep breath before knocking. The lack of immediate response caused all of them to shift uncomfortably as they waited. When the door opened suddenly Jean ended up jumping and bumping into Krista, nearly toppling her over and earning a glare from Ymir.

"Well hello there! Come in, come in." Hanji beckoned them into the apartment and shut the door behind them before turning back to them and sticking out their hand. "I'm Dr. Scientist, the one over on the couch is Nose, Commander Handsome is the one over by the table, and Hawk is in the kitchen making some tea but he should be out in a moment."

Mike got up from the couch to shake all of their hands and not-so-surreptitiously sniff them. All of them shifted away uncomfortably as he did so. Erwin came over as well after a moment and came to shake their hands as well and much to their relief did nothing more than that.

"I can tell who Red Scarf is." Erwin inclined his head at Mikasa. "But unfortunately I'm not certain as to the rest of your identities."

"I'm The Hunter. I'm an expert marksman with a bow."

"I'm Historia and I'm telekinetic."

"Savage Dancer, shapeshifting."

"Um, I'm Connie and I live with Sasha."

"And I'm Jean and I drove us all here." Both Connie and Jean shifted uncomfortably but nobody remarked on their lack of hero status. Erwin simply frowned slightly but nodded in acknowledgement nonetheless.

"You don't cover your face at all?" Hanji was looking at Ymir, intrigued by her choice.

"My face is unrecognizable when I transform. Unfortunately I also have claws over four inches long which would make this little meeting a bit of a pain in the ass."

"Fair enough. Oh, and here's Hawk!" Levi had just walked out of the kitchen holding a steaming mug of tea. His eyes flicked over to the six of them.

"What they said. I have ears so don't introduce yourselves again, let's just get to this." He put his mug down on the table as everyone else walked over. Mikasa looked torn between wanting to punch him for being rude and wanting to thank him for being so focused on the task at hand.

"So what have you figured out since we spoke earlier?" Mikasa was addressing Hanji directly.

"I got a larger partial on the plate. Three confirmed digits and one that's a toss-up between two letters. Nose and Hawk went out to take a look at the site almost immediately after you called. It was only a quick look, but there wasn't much to get really." Hanji nodded at the both of them and Mike picked up where they left off.

"A decent amount of time passed since Eren and Marco were taken, but there was a lingering smell of chloroform. Whoever it was who grabbed them touched the lamp post behind the van. It doesn't tell us much besides that they used chloroform though. Hawk is the one who actually found something useful." Mike jerked his head at Levi.

"When they made their getaway they scuffed their bumper against the car in front of them. There wasn't a lot to get a sample of, but it's a start." Levi shrugged and Hanji jumped in to continue talking.

"Our kidnappers took the badges off their van, but a lot of car manufacturers have specific types of paint. The fact that we have such a small sample makes it a bit more difficult but a friend is running it to see if we can pin down who the manufacturer is. We're hoping it's a less-common type of paint."

"Which means," Erwin broke in to complete the circle of conversation, "if we can narrow down it down to a more specific manufacturer and combine that with almost a half-partial of their license plate number, we'll be in very good shape. Even just having three definite digits does put us in decent shape even if unmarked white vans are very common. Speaking of… Hanji, when do you think Nifa will have the results for the partial plate search?"

"She said probably tonight but she warned me that we shouldn't get our hopes up. We all know how common white vans are and who's to say that it wasn't registered as being green and then repainted with after-market generic paint."

"My guess is that it's a rental." Everyone turned to look at Sasha as she let her gaze fall to the floor and chewed at her right thumb as she voiced her thoughts. "If they stole it then the vehicle is already is already flagged in the system. They don't want to draw attention to themselves so they'd be driving like saints to begin with but it only takes one overzealous cop to completely mess things up for them. And if they own the van there's some tie to them so I highly doubt they'd do that." Hanji nodded and scribbled down some notes before speaking.

"Yeah, they'll probably have either rented it for either a couple hours – so just long enough to kidnap them and stash them somewhere – or they've got it rented for way longer to keep the van out of sight while we're trying to look for it. If it has an easily identifiable type of paint though we might be able to figure out where it came from." Erwin unrolled a map and placed in down on the table and continued to speak while Levi and Mike moved to weigh down the corners.

"We've already begun to formulate a plan for how we move forward once we have the results. This isn't as detailed as I'd like, but our holograph table is at our headquarters. We're drawn a perimeter for where they could have gotten to within a certain time period." He pointed at the color coded outlines drawn over a map of Trost and its outlying areas. "This blue is how far they could have gotten in roughly fifteen minutes. If we can map out enough points within that area we might be able to figure out a rough trajectory. The red lines encompass the possible distance they could have traveled by the time Mikasa spoke with us, which was roughly forty-five minutes later. As you can see, that already includes areas beyond the northern border of Trost at which point they would be on the highway."

"It's just after 4.30 now. It's been over two hours." Mikasa's voice was quiet.

"However, the red area doesn't reach all the way to the southern part of Trost." Erwin pointed at the southern region. "Getting there would have taken about an hour given the traffic in some areas. If we can figure out a rough trajectory in the first fifteen minutes we might be able to rule out them heading too far out of Trost." Hanji made a frustrated noise causing everyone to look at them.

"I've already said that it's too much work to try and track the van via security camera footage. It took only a couple blocks before I lost it completely at an intersection. It's unmarked, so one corner with a blind spot and we've lost it. It's just too much work and it's not something you can have multiple people working on."

"A _human_ couldn't follow it." Jean gave Mikasa a pointed look. "But an AI could do it."

"Would you be comfortable with us bringing in our AI? Armin might be a little slow since he'd be accessing everything remotely, but he'd be faster than a person would. We wouldn't lose anyone that way either?"

"I forgot you had an AI." Hanjii was grinning excitedly now. "Okay, that changes things completely. We'll put him on that task, that's perfect! But why would he be slow?"

"He's not complete. Marco finished the code to the point where he could be turned on, but he's technically not finished, he was going to do a huge overhaul after graduation when he had more time."

"Even if he isn't complete that's still impressive. Who's Marco though? I'd definitely like to meet him."

"He's the one who got kidnapped with Eren." Jean was openly glaring at Hanji. "So if you want to have a chat with him you should probably get on –"

A phone started ringing loudly, cutting off Jean. Everyone looked confusedly at one another until all eyes came to rest back on Jean's bright red face.

"Sorry I forgot to... Fuck." Jean picked up the phone in a panic and rise in volume as he spoke. "Mrs. Bodt! Hi um… yeah Marco isn't… he isn't with me he's uh… I'm not…"

Erwin silently held out his hand for the phone and Jean passed it off to him and looking like he was going to throw up.

"Hello, Mrs. Bodt? This is Commander Handsome…" Erwin walked into the next room and shut the door behind him.

"Marco's mom is probably going out of her mind. She completely freaked out when we were fifteen and his phone died while we were out getting ice cream. I can't imagine how she's going to take this. Though I guess she'll be a bit less of a nervous wreck knowing that the Survey Corps is involved?" Jean turned to Mike, Hanji and Levi and gave them a halfhearted smile that Mike returned.

"Hopefully."

They stood around, listening to the buzz of Erwin's voice in the neighboring room and waiting for him to return. Mikasa and Hanji had moved off to the side to start linking Armin into their system so that he could begin searching through the data that they had. When Erwin walked back through the door everyone turned immediately to look at him.

"I told them the bare minimum about what's going on and assured them that we're doing all that we can to retrieve Eren and Marco. In the future, turn off your cellphones before any meetings." He returned Jean's (now powered-down) phone to him before straightening up and addressing everyone. "As soon as we have any results on the license plate number or the paint sample I want everyone to get moving. How many of you would be available immediately?"

"I just got cleared to return to hero work by Armin recently. I'm free whenever."

"My course work is pretty light at the moment, so unless I have class I should be free. That means we might have to drop our evening patrols on short notice though, doesn't it?" Sasha's face was slightly troubled. Erwin frowned before responding.

"Unfortunately, yes. Savage Dancer and Historia, are the both of you free?"

"I only work part time as a taxi dispatch, but the day shifts are pretty easy to get someone to cover for." Ymir shrugged.

"And I work at a café. The manager really likes me so I could probably get away with ducking out for a 'family emergency' if I had to. Being small and blond has its advantages."

"Good, you can all get Dr. Scientist's number from Red Scarf but if we could get all of yours before you left, we would appreciate that."

"So there isn't anything we can do?" Connie's body was tense as he looked at Erwin. "They're our friends too."

"When we have leg work that needs to be done you might be able to help. Other than that –"

"You'd be getting in the way." Levi's tone was matter of fact. In spite of the furious looks that Connie and Jean were giving him he continued. "If you don't have any powers or abilities or anything you might end up running into some shit and we can't spare people to save your asses too."

The glares that Levi received from Mike and Hanji had him ducking his head down to stare at his now-empty mug of tea. There was an awkward beat of silence before everyone started moving again to trade contact information. Connie and Jean stood glumly off to the side and Jean shot a murderous glare (that was ignored) at Levi as they regrouped to leave. None of them spoke to one another until they were back in the car.

Connie ended up being the one to break the silence.

"So wow, The Hawk lives up to his reputation of 'complete asshole' doesn't he?"


	70. 70: The Hunt

"The rental place down on 30th was a bust too. They haven't had a single rental in the past few days. Unless the third place is the one we're looking for then we're fucked and Historia and I have been working our asses off and taking off work for nothing." Ymir glared at the Survey Corps.

"Trust us, we hope that the last place is it too." Hanji's face was lined with worry and they ducked their head to look at their laptop. "Did you happen to get a sample of paint off of the vans at either rental place?"

"The fact that they weren't willing to talk to us after it was clear we weren't renting meant there was no way they were letting us get close to their rentals." Krista frowned and shook her head. "We both doubt that either place was lying so it didn't seem like we needed to check anything else out."

"So that leaves us with two out of three rental places being wrong as well as all four used car dealers." Erwin had his head resting forward on is steeped fingers, his brow furrowed as he continued. "If the last place isn't it ten our search area needs to be widened. Maybe the van _is_ theirs or it came from a dealership or rental place outside of Trost."

"Pretty far away then. I asked Nifa to run the results regionally and there were just the three rental locations and the four used car dealerships in Trost that matched our requirements. The next closest place was thirty miles outside of Trost. I can't see them driving from that far away just to have a van that's more difficult for us to find. Has Armin found anything more? I know he had them for a solid six blocks." Hanji's abrupt change in topic startled Mikasa out of a stupor.

"No. They hit really bad traffic and the driver as really good at weaving in and out of lanes. There was just too much data for Armin to track. I'm sorry, but I had to stop his search. Marco isn't round to fix Armin and he was on the verge of a meltdown."

"That's completely fine. I wasn't expecting to get even that far so it's still a help to us. Do you have a map of where Armin tracked them to?"

"I doubt it's going to help much. They were definitely trying to avoid being tracked by an AI or anything like that they were zig-zagging around. They might have been heading south but there are so many one-way streets around the university that I don't think we can be sure. Armin lost them at an intersection where they might have headed downtown or towards the riverfront, but they also could have gone east to connect with the highway." Mikasa stood up and reached into her pocket to offer Hnji a flash drive. "That's all the data Armin was able to pull."

Thank you. We might be able to make some use of this. Who knows?"

"I've been hunting and tracking since I was a kid and I can't figure out how a handful of blocks are going to do anything for us if we've got no other good information." Sasha was looking at them dubiously.

"It's not as though you've been the only ones running around interrogating rental agents and car salesmen." Mike was smiling slightly at them. "Commander and Dr. Scientist have been doing back end logistics and Hawk and I have been having all sorts of lovely chats with people about what they might know."

"Speaking of. Where is the midget?" Hanji snorted at Mikasa's question and Mike and Erwin tried to cover their laughter with coughing.

"Sleeping probably." Hanji continued to talk as Mikasa's expression went taut in anger. "Some people only talk at night. Hawk's abilities are far more suited to that than any of ours. We're also completely aware of the fat that he's…"

"He's not exactly a people person." Mike shrugged. "You get used to it.

"Actually, he might be awake by now." Erwin was looking at the clock. "It's almost five now and he was heading home from headquarters around nine this morning. Hanji, do you think you could call him? He doesn't have to come here, but we can at least update him and conference him in."

"Well I'm going to go into the other room to do that, Nobody else needs to hear him if I wake him up."

As the door shut behind Hanji, Erwin turned to them and began to speak again.

"Ah. It doesn't matter if we continue while Hanji isn't here since they already know this, but we're relatively certain that the ones who kidnapped Eren and Marco were part of the Titans. I spoke with a few contacts with the Military Police and they said it's not them. The Titans kept it quiet enough that the Military Police had no idea Eren was even gone. I'd imagine that after I've asked around they'll be aware though. Not that it's a bad thing. They have access to a network we couldn't even consider being able to use and if we follow closely enough we might be able to figure some things out ourselves." Erwin stopped talking and looked up as Hanji reentered the room.

"I've got Hawk on speaker." They held up their phone. "Why don't you say hello to everyone?"

Fuck off. Anything new happen?"

"They hit up two of the three rental places and all four used car dealerships but neither were what we're looking for."

"Could've told you that. Checked your email in the last fifteen minutes?"

"We've been working through what we have. Why?"

"Nifa copied me on what she sent you. She found the van."

"She found it?!" Hanji dropped the phone on the table and practically ran to their computer. Their expression quickly fell into one of disappointment and they turned to face everyone else. "The police recovered a van matching our make and model right down to traces of chloroform. It belonged to a George Johnson. He was found dead next to the van with a single gunshot to the back of the head."

Silence settled over the room at Hanji's words. Erwin's face betrayed nothing while Mike and Hanji's expressions were grim. Sasha and Krista were staring at one another blankly while Ymir moved to bring her arms around Krista. Mikasa looked like she was on the verge of screaming.

"There has to be something. There _has_ to be." Mikasa's voice was shaky and her knuckles were white as she clenched her hands into fists.

"No dice. I called Nifa when I saw the email and hadn't heard from anyone. She said she's trying to push more analysis shit through the lab but the bastard was just released from Rose Penitentiary. Did time because of his involvement with the Military Police in a string of robberies and drug running, also had two charges of manslaughter… the list goes on. He shouldn't have been out this early with a record like his, but here he is dead not a week after he got out."

"Well he was almost certainly involved with the Titans."

"Commander?" Mike was giving him a puzzled look.

"His tattoo of the Military Police crest on his left arm was partially burnt off and healed. You can see it in the crime scene photos Nifa sent. You wouldn't do that if you were going to just not involve yourself with a gang in a prison. You'd only do that if you were renouncing your allegiances. Given everything, I think the Titans are gaining a presence in the prison system and that he's linked to them."

"So they got one of their own to lend them a van only to shoot him in the head for his trouble?" Mike's voice was quiet and he brought his hand to his face to brush his stubbled chin.

"And those are the people who have Eren and Marco?" Mikasa tried to catch their eyes, but Mike and Hanji refused to meet hers. Erwin didn't meet her eyes so much ad he simply matched her gaze. She deflated and hung her head. "We can't do anything more, can we?"

"Not with the information that we have. We should start looking into George Johnson. Dr. Scientist, get a hold of Nifa and Moblit and see what they can pull. Nose, you and Hawk should check out his place. Maybe there's something there." Erwin paused as Sasha, Krista and Ymir moved forward to stand next to Mikasa, all of them looking at him expectantly. "I'm sorry, but I don't have enough here to give you something and I can't throw you into situations like this blindly."

"Situations like what? Checking out a dead guy's house?" Ymir snorted at Sasha's comment.

"It's not that I doubt any of your abilities, but we have more experience with this."

"And we're supposed to get that experience _how?_" Erwin opened his mouth to respond but Levi's voice came through before he could get in a word.

"Oi. Brats. Worry about your shitty wounded pride when you've got your friends back. You want them back with as little damage as possible? Let us do our fucking jobs."

An awkward silence fell over them and everyone shifted around uncomfortably. Sasha mumbled a half-hearted apology that Erwin brushed away, gesturing that it wasn't her fault. He began to dictate to Mike and Levi what he wanted them to check out while Hanji chimed in based on what little additional information Nifa was able to give them. Erwin had just started to go over what he wanted them to ask the neighbors when Mikasa's phone went off. She pulled it out and looked up at everyone else.

"It's Armin." She picked up the phone and put it on speaker.

"I've got new data."

"What? Armin, I told you to leave the van alone. Besides, we found the van."

"No, I mean that I got a brief signal from Eren's phone!"

"You what?!" Her eyes flew wide and everyone turned their heads to look at the phone in her hand.

"It was a really faint signal and it was really brief so I only have rough coordinates. Eren's phone must be out of battery and his phone was somewhere without signal period. "

"Well where is he?" Mikasa's voice took on a panicked edge.

"How rough?" Erwin was standing up and walking over. "Can you send us the coordinates?"

"Yep! Sending them now."

"This looks familiar. Hawk, can you see this on your end?"

"It's the northwestern area of the palisades. Hell of a place to bring two kids."

"We have to go then!" Mikasa's tone was excited. "We know where they are, so let's go."

"Unfortunately, we really don't." Hanji gave Mikasa an apologetic look. "Armin, how large of an area does this map cover?"

"One point zero one nine square miles. There are lots of structures in the area as well as informal alleyways though and I don't have accurate vector data for that area so that's going to be a lot of area to cover."

"See, we need to go ourselves!" Krista's fists were balled up and her jaw clenched for a moment before she relaxed slightly and her expression softened. "We need to get our friends."

"Please don't think that we don't care, but we can't just go charging in half-cocked like this." Hanji's voice was soft as they tried to smooth things over.

"Then what are we supposed to do? You promised me that we would be included and I feel like you're just trying to push us out now."

"If all of us rush in then they're going to know that we're there and we'll have lost the element of surprise." Mike kept his voice level as he continued. "We need as few people as possible. Don't we, Commander?"

"I'm sorry that we're making you completely nocturnal, Hawk but we need you to check out the palisades tonight. You have the coordinates."

"Yeah, let me just clear my busy social calendar first."

"Very funny. What time do you think you'll be there?"

"After dark, before dawn."

"Because that's not incredibly vague." Mikasa's voice was sarcastic.

"Ever been to the palisades? It's a fucking disaster. Put Hanji on so we can go over the details."


	71. 71: Questioning

**I said I'd have this posted a couple days ago but I uh... kinda had an emotional breakdown (unrelated to ALYNA). But it's totally cool! My super rad ex stuck around and we talked about fucking Shingeki and video games until I calmed down. He's currently catching up with ALYNA so whenever he gets here, shout outs to jmd.**

**Okay. So. Actual story things. This chapter ended up being a little bit more visceral than I intended. Nothing too graphic, but as someone with heinous claustrophobia the fact that Eren is bound and gagged for the vast majority of the chapter kinda freaked me out. Just uh... expect that most of the chapters in this arc will have blood/violence in them.**

**.**

Eren didn't know how long he had been out when he opened his eyes; his mind was fuzzy and he wasn't completely aware of his surroundings. He suddenly became aware of the feeling of hands on him and his heart rate immediately doubled and he lashed out instinctively, only to find himself bound and gagged. He felt a hand reach into his pocket and take out his phone before the other person withdrew. Eren only became aware of how harsh his breathing had become when the other person moved away completely and his heart rate and breathing began to even out. He watched them put his phone into a box and in the brief moment that their face was illuminated by the phone he began to panic again. They were wearing a mask that gave them the illusion of having eyes sunk so deeply into their head that they were almost invisible and while there was nothing egregiously distorted with their mouth the way that Smiles' mask had been, it was wide enough that it looked like it was starting to split their cheeks open. Whatever he had been drugged with was wearing off but the remaining fuzziness had him frozen in terror as his brain's comprehension stayed consistently one step behind his observations. When the other person turned to face him fully he couldn't fake unconsciousness. He could feel how wide his eyes were and he realized that the strange muffled whimpers were coming from him.

As the hand reached out to him his eye caught on the shadowy outline of prone form only a couple of feet from his own.

_Marco…_

The hand was over his mouth now.

Darkness.

The next time consciousness broke over Eren he was being dumped onto the floor. He cringed in pain as the cloth that had been over his head was pulled off and the light hit his eyes. His eyes still hadn't adjusted when he heard a door slam behind him and a deadbolt lock into place.

"Eren…?" Marco's voice was tentative and he could hear the barely contained panic.

"Yeah?" His eyes had adjusted to the light, but everything felt like it was blurry and he could feel his mind working at a much slower pace than usual.

"We're going to get out of here, right?"

"Yeah. I mean… Mikasa and everyone… the Survey Corps. They're going to… they'll find us." Eren could feel everything swimming around him. He couldn't keep track of whether or not he was vocalizing his thoughts or if everything was in his head. "Are you… thinking okay?"

"Well, I'm on the verge of having a panic attack." The nervous edge to his voice was coming to the forefront of his tone.

"No like… my head isn't… everything's weird."

"I think they drugged you with something stronger. I was awake most of the ride here, but you weren't even moving."

"Ride?"

"Don't you remember being pulled into a van?"

"I guess yeah." Memories were starting to stitch themselves together and Eren's brow furrowed as he tried to connect the dots.

"Well we drove for a while. The van was dark so I don't know how long, but I would guess we're outside of Trost now." Eren wrapped his arms around his legs to pull them up to his chest and pressed his face into his knees, folding in on himself. His breath quickly became quick and shallow as his mind pulled bits and pieces of memories. _Oh god no. Oh no, please no. We can't be far. We can't, we can't. They need to find us. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry._

"I'm sorry, Marco." It was a rough whisper and Eren almost expected that Marco wouldn't hear it.

"Hey, it's not your fault. It's not like you wanted either of us to be kidnapped. Just breathe."

Eren began to breathe slower and deeper, gradually evening out his breathing and forcing himself to relax. Marco gave him a weak smile of encouragement in spite of their predicament. Not only could Eren feel his breathing becoming more regular, he could also feel the fog in his mind beginning to lift. He looked around and took in their surroundings.

_Okay, so we're in a small room. There's a bare lightbulb that makes my eyes feel like someone's stabbing them. We have a window and I think that it's night out? What else? A heavy door. This room isn't quite a square, probably something like ten feet by twelve feet or something. At least we can lay out completely. It doesn't look like we have anywhere to sleep though. No. We aren't going to be here that long. Mikasa and Krista and Ymir and the Survey Corps are all going to come charging in any minute now because Armin is going to get a lock on my phone's signal and yeah. They'll be here soon._

He had just gotten himself fully under control and was about to talk to Marco again when the door swung open just long enough for a couple of bottles of water to be placed inside of the door before closing again. Marco stared at him as he moved to grab one of the waters.

"If they wanted us dead, I think we would be already." The look Marco gave him had him looking down at the floor. "It's just that I think dehydration would be a worse way to go than poison."

Marco only gave him a dubious look before opening one of the water bottles for himself.

"Well, the cap was still sealed so I guess…"

Eren tipped the water back and drank deeply, watching Marco do the same. There was something slightly off about the water and he kept trying to place it as his eyelids grew heavier and heavier and everything around him slowed down. He watched quietly as Marco clearly began to experience the same, although unlike Eren he seemed to fall asleep fairly quickly. He tried to run through things in his mind even as it started to shut down. _It tasted odd… it tasted… salty? Fuck everything, rohypnol._

There was light outside the window when he woke up. A body towered over him and Eren froze when he saw the mask on the person's face, the same as the one on the person in the van. The memory of that terror coursed through him again and the stiffness that took his body made it even easier for the other person to grab him. He felt a gag tightening at his mouth while a second person quickly slammed the door before Marco had time to react. He barely caught a glimpse of the outside of the door when his face was engulfed in dark fabric again.

Eren tried to step as carefully as possible knowing that he would be unable to break his own fall with his arms tied behind his back but he couldn't help but stumble as his captor half-dragged him along. They finally reached a point where they paused and he heard a door open. He felt a hand on his back and he was suddenly being pushed forward though (presumably) the doorway. Unable to catch himself, he fell hard onto his knees, a hand grabbed the back of his shirt just in time to stop him from pitching forward onto his face. He was quickly hauled up and pushed backwards roughly. Panic welled up again as he prepared to fall backwards to the floor but the panic was dampened as he felt himself fall into a chair. The bonds on his wrists were cut but he was only free for a moment before they were tied again, this time to the arms of the chair. Eren pulled at the restraints, trying to gauge if there was any possibility for escape and finding them to be just loose enough to not cut off circulation. He hadn't quite finished investigating his bonds when he felt someone cuff him on the head so hard that he saw stars.

For the second time he felt material being pulled away from his face.

Given that this room was darker than the one that Eren had been in with Marco, his eyes hurt far less with the return of light. He looked up at the person standing in front of him and had another moment of panic as he stared at the distorted face from earlier.

Eren braced himself for another blow and relaxed slightly when the other person turned their back to him to speak with someone on a radio instead of hitting him.

_Okay, there isn't much here. There's the chair I'm sitting on and there's another chair over there that I guess is for them if they want to sit. There's a table with some junk on it. Looks like some papers and a box and a camera or something? Are they making a ransom video?_

Eren's attention was quickly pulled back to the figure directly in front of him as they turned back around to face him.

"You are Eren Jaeger?" Their voice was rough and deeper than his own and since the mouth of the mask didn't move as they spoke it gave the illusion that the speaker was elsewhere in the room.

Eren could only grunt in response with the gag in his mouth.

"Don't you know it's rude to try and talk with your mouth full?" They chuckled slightly at Eren's glare as they removed the spit-soaked cloth from his mouth and put a hand to his cheek while they cooed with false concern. "Poor baby, does your mouth hurt?"

"Fuck you." He saw the hand coming down before he got a chance to prepare himself. He tasted blood as his head snapped to the side.

"I can make this very bad for you if you don't cooperate. Now tell me, are you Eren Jaeger?"

"Yeah." He poked his tongue around in his cheek, worrying at the torn flesh inside of his mouth. The taste of blood overwhelmed his mouth and he could feel blood-flecked spit dripping from the corner of his mouth.

"Good boy. And you were born on March 30th?" Eren eyed the hand poised at the ready to lash out at him again.

"Yes."

"And Grisha Jaeger is your father?"

"Yes."

"And you were born in Shiganshina?"

"Yes."

"Really now. Feel free to elaborate. Where were you born in Shiganshina?"

"Shiganshina City Hospital." Eren spat out the words like poison.

"I thought you'd be more cooperative. After all, this must be old hat to you by now. You do get kidnapped an awful lot, don't you? Have to depend on your sister to save you constantly. And now you have some new friends who I'm sure you're hoping will be showing up some time soon." Eren stayed silent and quietly seethed at his captor. "Unfortunately for you, I highly doubt they're going to be finding you any time soon. We'll be sending them an invitation soon though, don't worry."

Eren flinched back when they extended their hand to grab his face and force him to look up into the deeply-set eyes of their mask. He could only guess that his captor was staring at him intently; there was no way he could see their actual eyes even as they leaned down to look at his own. When he felt their grip on his chin loosen he made his move, kicking out both of his legs towards the other person's body and aiming as best as he could for their knees. Unfortunately, he also caused the chair to tip and fall on its side. He felt the side of his face smack the ground and wondered if he was bleeding.

He looked up dazedly to see that his captor's mask had torn in one place and they were angrily ripping it off of their face. When they turned to face him he recognized their face. _That fucker from the bar._

"Fuck you and your stupid fucking eyebrows."

"That isn't the way you speak to someone who has you tied to a chair."

"Fuck. You." His head swam as the chair was hauled upright again with no regard for his own comfort. The man's now-visible eyes met his and he smirked at Eren's glare.

"You know, I'd hate it if something happened to your friend." Eren went rigid and he stared at the other man. "Oh, I have your attention now, don't I?"

"Don't hurt Marco."

"Then answer my questions."

"Yes. Whatever you want." _Don't panic don't panic don't panic._

"Where's Grisha?"

"What?"

"Grisha. Where is he?"

"How the fuck should I know?"

"You've seen him recently."

"The fuck I have."

"Fine then, I'll humor you. When was the last time you saw him?"

"When I was twelve and he walked out on us."

"You're lying."

"I'm not fucking lying!" He could feel his stomach beginning to turn with fear. _Believe me. Don't hurt Marco._

"Then where's Grisha?"

"I don't know!"

"Tell me the truth."

"I DON'T KNOW!"

Eren looked up and met the inscrutable stare of the other man. It was only now in this moment of stillness that he realized that he was gasping for breath as he choked down sobs. He could feel the tears dripping from the corners of his eyes and tried to wipe his nose by rubbing it against his shoulder. When he couldn't meet the other man's gaze anymore he let his body slump forward and bowed his head down.

"Well it looks like I'm not going to get anything out of a crybaby like you right now." Eren could only sniffle in response. "Let's get you back to your room so you can cry there and not drip snot all over the place."

Eren had offered so little resistance that the walk back to where he and Marco were being held was more like a stroll. He couldn't see through the cloth but his hands were bound in front of him now. He could only slump against the wall and slide to the floor when he was pushed through the door again. Marco was moving towards him before he was even fully seated. From the look Marco was giving him he knew that he probably didn't look his best at the moment.

"Eren, what happened?" He stared at Marco blankly for a moment before he made up his mind.

"We're going to get out of here."

"Eren? What do you mean?" He didn't respond as he was already moving to stand at the window and beginning to feel around it. The window started at chest-height for him and had been spray-painted over with white so that there was still natural light but they couldn't see outside. It was clear that at some point the window could have been pushed up to open it, but somebody had put nails into the wood to stop anyone from being able to do so. Eren withdrew his hand suddenly when he was stuck with a splinter from the wood. He turned back to Marco with a determined look on his face.

"I'm sick of being a damsel in distress and I think I have a plan for how to get out of here."

**.**

**As of this chapter I am bumping ALYNA to an M rating.**


	72. 72: Tunnels

**Yoooo... the last time we had an honest to glob Levi POV chapter was fifty-nine. Holy shit that was an age ago.**

**Unrelated to ALYNA in almost every way: If you're at AAC in New Hampshire this weekend my ex is there and he's a totally rad dude and you should say hi and whatever. He's cosplaying as Aikuro Mikisugi from Kill la Kill and I'm not entirely sure how much / how little clothing he's going to be wearing at any given time. If there's more than one Mikisugi wandering around his other identifying characteristics are a jawline like Chris Evans and two Zelda tattoos. He goes by jmd so I guess you could also just yell that out.**

**Enjoy the chapter!**

**.**

Armin had been right when he said no accurate vector data existed for the palisades. Hanji had ended up working with Armin to create an informal map using satellite images and what little formal vector data could be found. In addition to the informal maps, Hanji had also grabbed maps of the underground drain and tunnel network from Trost's Department of Public Works. Overlaid together, they made a rough but serviceable map of the palisades that Levi was able to load onto his phone and hope that it was correct enough that he didn't end up in a dead end with someone chasing him. They had all agreed that the underground maps were vital and a likely place to search given that they hadn't received a signal from Eren's phone for an extended period only to have it be followed up by a brief but weak signal over a day later.

Levi wasn't particularly thrilled with his current situation. Given the delicacy of their search he was going to be spending however long it took to search the palisades entirely incognito; that meant no grapple gear, no protective uniform, no extra gadgets from Hanji. All he was left with was a knife, a lockpick set, his own better-than-average senses and strength, and a driving sense of guilt and concern.

_Fucking somebody should have been with him or watching him or something. We got complacent because nobody had been near him in weeks and we hadn't heard much of anything useful either. Didn't think they'd be so fucking bold that they'd grab him in broad daylight though or that they'd take his friend with them. We fucked up badly._

He walked down the street, trying to stay as out of sight and innocuous as possible. It was another thing that he wasn't particularly thrilled about; he had been forced to leave his car at the outskirts of the palisades, a good mile away from the outer perimeter of the search area. He hadn't needed much convincing though given that while his car looked perfectly normal in Trost-proper, it would stick out like a sore thumb in the palisades. He'd gone for his usual incognito clothing of a hoodie pulled up over a baseball cap which had gotten him a few odd looks where he had parked his car, but which didn't draw a single glance once he was deep into the palisades. Anywhere else he might have looked out of place, but here it was perfectly normal; you either lived in the palisades (_poor bastards_) or you went to the palisades to do your dirty business anonymously (_fucking bastards_) and get out.

Levi could feel the raw dampness begin to seep into him as he walked along paved roads and informal alleyways. He tried to press down the disgust that welled up as he stepped around – but usually through – piles of trash and accumulated detritus. After spending almost an hour working his way through the search area criss-crossing between streets that weren't even on the informal maps he decided that it was finally time to head back towards the center of the search area and find a way to get down into the network of underground tunnels. Finding a way down into the tunnels wasn't a particularly difficult task, but it was difficult to get through one of the entrances without being noticed. He ended up choosing an access point that was somewhat concealed by a tangle of wood and wire in an alley. His lock pick set ended up being completely useless given how seized up the lock was. Given its rusted state, he tried to simply pull on it and hope that his own strength would break it. He gave it a tug but nothing happened.

_Fucking hell. There'd better be something around here I can use as leverage to snap it. I guess I could hit it with something but if I hit the door that would be fucking loud and I'm not exactly in the mood to deal with any attention._

He rummaged around in the pile of wood next to the entrance and found a short piece of rebar thin enough that he could fit it in the gap where the padlock met the chain keeping the door closed. From there he gave the rebar a sudden pull and ripped the lock off, the chain clattering to the ground. He froze for a moment, flinching and waiting for someone to yell about the noise before remembering that not everyone had his same heightened sense of hearing. Levi let out a long breath and rubbed at his temples; the sharp sound had been painfully loud without his earplugs in but he couldn't afford to wear them when he needed to be on full alert.

Levi gave a quick look to either side of him to make sure nobody was watching before opening the door and going through. He had expected that the entrance would be in some amount of disrepair, but he hadn't expected it to be an almost straight drop down as soon as he stepped in the door.

At some point there had been a platform of metal grating that turned into stairs of the same material, but neglect and vandalism had resulted in the platform having mostly collapsed and the stairs having partially sheared away from the wall. He stood on the small amount of the platform that was left and calculated how badly things would end if he missed the jump to the rest of the stairs.

_I could really do with my fucking grapple gear right now._

He kept his eyes straight ahead as he made the leap from the collapsing platform to the stairs that weren't entirely attached to the wall. His landing was far from graceful and he froze for a moment, not daring to move as the stairs let out a metallic groan and shifted slightly under him. Levi let a moment go by before he dared to move from the hunched up position that he had landed in. He moved carefully down the stairs, not wanting to risk the stairs giving out beneath him when he was still twenty feet above the floor. The sound of dripping water echoed through the stairwell, multiple sharp and rhythmic plopping sounds filled his hearing as he tried to listen for any other sounds or potential movements. There wasn't much else to catch by way of sound beyond the dripping and his own tentative steps.

It wasn't until Levi reached the base of the stairs that he realized that there was no way he was going back up the way he had come in. He'd been forced to jump slightly downwards to the stairs and he highly doubted the stairs would even be a stable enough structure to jump off of without them collapsing. He looked up at a grated panel far up on the wall and the dim light that was reaching where he was and sighed before pulling out a flashlight.

_I guess I'm finding a way out of here later. They say to look before you leap but I guess you're supposed to look back too… and that really just isn't my style, is it?_

He turned the flashlight on and investigated his surroundings. There was only one way out of the odd stairwell he was in right then and according to the map he would be walking down that one tunnel for a while before coming to a junction with two others. From there tunnels branched out and crossed one another. He paused to look at the two layers of the map, trying to find a place where things might coincide but he found nothing. Levi gave a slight growl as he slipped his phone back into his pocket and began walking with his flashlight on the dimmest setting possible, his footsteps echoed wetly and the shape of the tunnels distorted the sound to the point where he was considering putting his earplugs back in.

When he got to the juncture in the tunnels he went to one of the tunnels and knocked sharply on one of the pipes running down it. He closed his eyes and paused to listen before shaking his head and taking the other tunnel.

_I haven't done this in a _long_ time._

He passed through a few more small junctions until he came to one that was a four-way intersection with one tunnel heading on a very clear downward slope while the one he had come from and the other two seemed to stay relatively level. Levi paused and tried to relax. He had been moving a bit too quickly, trying to cover as much ground as possible but now it was catching up to him. Levi leaned back against one of the tunnel walls and tried to catch his breath in the cold and humid air.

_Everything here is so fucking _small_ and I just need to get the fuck out of here. But I can't just fucking leave. I've found out fuck all and I've been wandering around the palisades for over two hours now. We don't know shit other than that we got a signal from Eren's phone that wasn't strong enough to get more than a rough area to search and it's not exactly a fucking tiny area either. A little over one square mile of above-ground roads and alleyways and another system of underground tunnels. Easy as fucking pie to cover in one night if you're The Hawk, right?_ Levi brought his hands up to run them through his hair, pushing his hat and hood back and grasping roughly at his own hair. His hand tightened its grip on his hat and tried to cram it into his back pocket. He continued to stand, letting his head hang forward as he looked at the ground. _This shouldn't have happened. He's just some dumb fucking kid who happens to be the son of some asshole they're interested in. Just sheer bad fucking luck._

There was no warning when his arm lashed out, slamming backwards into the tunnel wall he was leaning against. He felt the thing particles of dust on him and the echoing sound of his momentary frustration lingered in his ears.

_He's just some dumb fucking kid. _

_And that's the problem. He needed someone there to protect him and we were all caught up in our own shit and everyone – us, his friends – got complacent. If I were a real masochist I'd blame this whole fucking mess on myself. Because maybe, _maybe,_ him having done some actual self-defense lessons wouldn't have been a bad fucking idea. But no, I let that fucking slide and everything's shot to hell. Would be regardless. Whoever the fuck grabbed him knew what they were doing._

Levi groaned and rubbed at his face, tensing up and pressing the heels of his palms into his eyes until a supernova exploded behind them. His body suddenly went limp and he let his head hang a moment before picking up his phone and checking to see if he got any signal. He didn't have to wait long for Hanji to pick up.

"Levi? Did you find anything?"

"I've been wandering around – above and below ground – for over two hours now and I've got fuck-all."

"Hey now, are you okay?"

"I've been walking around a trash heap for two hours hoping to stumble across _something_ and I haven't done a damn thing except get into a tunnel system and realize that I need to figure out a way to get out of here eventually."

"What the what now?"

"The way I came in I can't go back. Stairs are fucking partially collapsed."

"Shit, okay look at your map. I definitely marked some places."

"No, getting out is the easy part. I just don't really know what the hell I'm looking for. I've covered probably half of the aboveground area and the tunnels and shit are a fucking nightmare. They go on for ages and then the junctions are a mess and you can't get a sig–" Levi stopped speaking abruptly and he felt his heart speed up slightly.

"Hey, Levi are you okay?"

"Hanji, where's the nearest cell phone tower?"

"To you?"

"To the search area. What side is it closest to?"

"Hmm… looks like there's one that's sort of closer to the southern part of the search area. Why?"

"I'm in the southern part of the area now. I didn't have a signal at the other junctions northeast of here."

"You think Eren's close then."

"That gives me a little bit of hope. There are only two other junctions in the southern part and they're pretty close together."

"That would also be a less-inhabited area of the palisades. Meth labs and shit."

"Well hopefully we don't take so long to get their asses the fuck back here that they have cancer."

"Aw, you _do_ care." Hanji inflected as much drama into their tone as they could. Normally it would have Levi at least slightly amused but right now…

"Who said I didn't? It's our fucking faults they're in this mess and even if that animal Smiles isn't around anymore we know what the Titans are capable of and they will not be kind just because they're kids."

"They aren't kids."

"I know."

They were both silent for a moment and Levi heard Hanji exhale loudly on the other end.

"It's after three in the morning. You need to pack it in if you don't find anything soon. We can get Eren's friends to help us scout out the area."

"I'm going to check out the other two junctions. I should be back in about an hour."

"I'll make sure there's a cup of tea and a tub of disinfectant ready for you when you get back."

"Very fucking funny. You wade through trash for multiple hours and tell me you don't want to scrub layers off your fucking skin."

"Fair point. See you soon then?"

"Yeah, later."

Levi didn't wait for Hanji to say good bye before he ended the call. He stood up again, feeling mildly energized after talking with Hanji and realizing that there were only two more places that he could check before he would have to call it a night. Part of him wanted to be angry at himself for refusing to look any more after those two junctions, but he also had a gut feeling that he was going to find something there.

_We're going to find you two fuckers and you're both going home in one fucking piece._

The first "junction" ended up being a misrepresentation on the map; the "tunnels" that intersected on the map were actually just two water mains that crossed at that point. Continuing a bit more down the tunnel he found the second intersection and looked at the overlaid maps before allowing himself a small grin. He let his gaze pan across the three tunnels that diverged from that point. One of them was partially blocked and upon closer inspection it looked like part of the entrance had been pulled down by someone. Beyond the rubble he could see that the tunnel was dry and level just the same as the other two that spread out from the junction. He pulled out his phone again.

"Hanji, I've got some shit here. I'm not going to go any farther down these tunnels right now, I think we can figure it out from here. Maybe you and Mike come out here and rough up a couple people but I think we're in good shape.

"Awesome! I'll disinfect the quarantine zone for when you get back."

This time Hanji hung up on him.

_Just don't fucking die before we get there._


	73. 73: Plan of Attack

**HOLY SHIT I CROSSED THE 100k MARK.** (Actual story-words, not authorial notes)

**Anyway. Look at this fucking chapter: 3,400 words. What even. I have a proofreader now so hopefully there will be fewer spelling and grammar goofs from now on.**

**Short words about my proofreader: he's actually my ex and he goes by jmd. He's not an ereri shipper but I sucked him in and hey, maybe you'll ship it at some point dude. It's cool though, we lose our shit over erejean together. It's good times.**

**.**

[Time: 14:47]

"So what did you find last night?" The demand was out of Mikasa's mouth before the door had closed behind them. She craned her neck to look around the room. "Hawk isn't here again?"

"He didn't get back until after four in the morning and we still had to go over his report." Erwin gave them an apologetic smile. "He'll be here later this afternoon."

"We're going to be here that long?" Sasha looked surprised.

"The information that Hawk was able to give us in addition to what we were able to piece together this morning puts us in a place where we can finally act and move forward." A look of relief passed across Mikasa's face, Sasha's gaze snapped up to look at the rest of the Survey Corps and Krista elbowed Ymir to get her to look up and give her full attention to what was going on. When he had their attention, Erwin continued. "That means that we need to bring you up to speed and go over plans."

"So we don't get any input on how things are going to go down?" Krista was watching the three of them intently.

"I think you'll agree with our plan, but you're welcome to voice any objections or suggestions."

"Well then." Mikasa adjusted her scarf, "bring us up to speed."

"Okay, so Hawk covered a lot of ground last night. A lot of it wasn't even on the informal maps that I made with Armin." Hanji moved over to a large map that had been pinned to the wall. "Hawk didn't find much of anything above ground when he was there, but he ended up stumbling onto something a bit interesting. The GPS signal emitted by Eren's phone was nonexistent and then we got a faint blip the other day. We think it's because of where he was being kept – probably underground – and that as they were moving them they must have hit an area where Eren's phone was able to briefly catch a signal. Hawk said that he started in the more northern area of the tunnels and worked his way south. He didn't catch a signal at any of the junctions or access points until he got to the southern area. We looked into it and discovered that there's a cell tower near the southern area. That's probably why you can actually get reception at some of the junctions and access points."

"Okay, so we think that Eren and Marco are being kept somewhere in the southern region of our search area. Why wouldn't we have a signal before then? They had to drive through the city to get there and Mikasa said that Armin lost Eren's phone signal almost immediately." Sasha was chewing at her thumb and looking down. "I just don't get it. They didn't go underground right there so what happened? Why did the signal drop off until yesterday? Am I the only person here who thinks that's really suspicious?"

"When Nifa spoke with Hanji the other day, she told us that she was able to get assigned to the team that was processing it. Apparently the entire interior of the van was lined with some sort of heavy potentially lead-based paint. It could easily weaken or block the signal." Erwin waited until Sasha looked up at him and nodded before he continued. "Given that, we think that Eren and Marco were kept in the van for an extended period and then moved directly underground in the palisades. A lot of the older factory and warehouse buildings there have underground loading docks. The new search area that we ended up defining has a number of them and we will be able to narrow it down even further when we look at how many of those buildings sit over the existing tunnel network. If the kidnappers were transporting them from one location to another via the tunnels there are only a couple of places that they could have passed through where Eren's phone would have happened to catch a signal for a fraction of a second."

"You know where they are?" Ymir's eyes darted between the three members of the Survey Corps.

"We've narrowed it down considerably."

"Are we going to just sit here then? Or are you going to tell us?" Mikasa's tone was sharp. She pulled her scarf up further over her face, glaring over the top of it.

"Nose made us some very late lunch. Hawk should be here by the time we're done eating." Hanji's voice was upbeat and they met Mikasa's glare with a smile.

"And why are we waiting for _him_?"

"Because it's easier to go over it once with everyone so that we're all on the same page." Erwin's face was impassive.

"Isn't he on your team? Shouldn't he know all of this already?"

"He's been asleep while we've made the final adjustments to the plan. He shouldn't be much longer."

Their meal was an awkward affair. The current level of tension was something that the Survey Corps was very familiar with and they each had their own way of handling things; Hanji would go on about their research and everyone would half-listen, Mike would lean back and observe, Erwin would withdraw into his own mind to plan another six steps ahead, Levi would glare at a cup of tea and occasionally make an off-color joke apropos of nothing. It wasn't a mindset or a situation or a mood which Mikasa, Sasha, Krista and Ymir were familiar with and so the entire atmosphere weighed down on them. When Hanji finally fell silent the weight became tension and it wound tighter and tighter as time passed. When there was finally the rattle of the door handle they all flinched.

The door opened to reveal Levi giving them all a bland (and tired) look.

"Ah, Hawk you're early." Erwin gave him a faint smile.

"Couldn't fucking sleep. My neighbor left her damn television on full volume and left. Or she can sleep through that racket in which case she can go fuck herself because I'm exhausted." Noticing the somewhat horrified looks on Sasha and Mikasa's faces, Hanji jumped in.

"Nothing a little caffeine can't fix though!"

"Yeah. Another cup or two of tea and I'll be fine." The skeptical look on Mikasa's face indicated her disbelief, but she didn't voice her doubts as Levi walked towards the kitchen to make himself a cup of tea.

"Is he really going to be okay?" Mikasa was looking somewhat nervously at Hanji.

"He doesn't sleep much. You're just seeing an uncaffeinated Hawk right now." When Hanji walked away to grab something from the table Mikasa still looked doubtful. They settled back at the table and continued to pick at food until Levi had finished his first cup of tea.

[Time: 16:03]

"Alright, now that everybody is here and caffeinated…" Erwin nodded towards Levi who simply rolled his eyes and stared down into his third cup of tea as Erwin continued. "I'm going to go over our plans for tonight. As I said earlier, if you have any objections or suggestions feel free to voice them, but we may not incorporate them."

"Which is your way of telling us to piss off." Ymir was giving him an annoyed look.

"Shut it and fucking listen first." Levi's tone had her looking slightly taken aback.

"As I was saying. Hawk was able to gather information that allowed the rest of us to take the day to chase down as much as possible. From that we've formulated a plan that we believe will cover all of our bases." Erwin paused and waited until he was certain that he had everyone's attention. "Hawk found a four-way junction in the tunnels. Three of those tunnels head off to different areas within the southern part of our search area in the palisades. Narrowing it down to the buildings that have access to those tunnels was somewhat more difficult, but Nose was able to cover a great deal of the area after it was narrowed down. Unfortunately, we were not able to pinpoint a single location. We _could_ leave it until we know exactly where to go, but given that we received that signal roughly twenty-four hours ago I don't think it's a particularly good idea to delay things any longer."

"How big is the search area now?" Sasha was looking intently at Erwin's face, looking for a sign.

"Three buildings."

"That's it?" Mikasa's voice was surprised and she stared at the four of them. "Only three… but there's a catch, isn't there?"

"They are each off of a separate one of those tunnels. If we have any hope of rescuing Eren and Marco we'll need to split up and hit all three locations at roughly the same time."

"That leaves us spread pretty thin, doesn't it?" Krista sounded skeptical and Ymir frowned at her before turning to speak.

"How are we splitting up then?" Ymir's tone was sharp.

"I'm not sure whether or not you're going to be happy about this…" Hanji trailed off before sighing and continuing. "Hawk and I are going directly to one of the locations. There's a closer access point on the other end of the tunnel. Commander and Nose will take one of the tunnels off of the junction and the four of you will take the other."

"WHAT?!" Everyone flinched as Mikasa yelled and stood up. "So you go in pairs and all four of us go together? What the hell? We need four people but you get to pair off? Do you think we're incompetent?"

"Nobody said that." Hanji kept their voice gentle. "The four of you are used to working together and you only recently got cleared to resume hero work. And no offense to Hunter, but regardless of how skilled she is with a bow it _is_ difficult to use one in a space as small as these tunnels. As is, we're spreading ourselves thin so that you don't have to. All of these locations are equally likely to have both Eren and Marco there and…"

"You're young and you have a lot to live for." Mike's voice was quiet, but the silence the followed was deafening.

[Time: 23:19]

"Your friends are waiting outside of the palisades, correct?" Mike was going over a check list while he drove.

"Yes." Mikasa's answer was immediate.

"And they will be ready to move immediately after one of our groups contacts them? Yes?"

"Connie and Jean want to get Eren and Marco back just as much as the rest of us."

"Good." There was an awkward pause after Mike finished.

"So where is everyone else?" Krista's brow was furrowed slightly in confusion. "I know that we're short on seats but how is everyone getting into position?"

"Well, Commander can fly… And as we mentioned, the building that Dr. Scientist and Hawk are taking is more accessible via an entrance on the other end of the tunnel. We won't be seeing them again until this whole thing is over. They're waiting for our say-so before they head into the tunnels themselves."

"So were meeting Commander and then splitting up from there?" Sasha met Mike's eyes in the rearview mirror, waiting for his confirmation.

"Yes, Commander will help Red Scarf clear the debris from the entrance of your tunnel and then we'll split off from there."

They fell into silence for the remainder of the drive. Hanji had been able to get a hold of an old and beat up car that they were then able to perform a few quick modifications to on short notice rather than use another vehicle that would stand out in the palisades. Mike eventually parked at the end of a side alley and got out, motioning for the four of them to follow his lead. They didn't have far to walk before Erwin came into view. He didn't bother with social niceties and began speaking immediately.

"Your friends are in position?"

_"__Yes."_ Mikasa's tone was exasperated. Mike hid a tiny smile behind his hand.

"I'm glad that they agreed to be a part of our extraction team. Normally we would simply have Moblit or Nifa, but there are far too many of us involved in this mission."

"I think they were glad that they could help in some way." Erwin nodded at Mikasa and gestured towards a hatch in the ground.

"This is an entrance to the tunnel network. Once we're in, it's only about twenty feet to the junction that Levi was at last night. We're going to be dropping into the exact tunnel that he came through. Once we get to the junction there will be four tunnels. One of those is the one that Levi came through and the one that we'll be entering through. Another is the tunnel that Dr. Scientist and Hawk will be entering further into the system and the final two are the ones that our two teams we will be taking." Erwin opened the hatch and motioned for everyone to go down the ladder that was now revealed. He waited for everyone to go ahead of him before he followed. When they were all standing at the base of the ladder they began to walk the short distance to the junction. Arriving there, Erwin began to speak again. "The one to our right is the one that you four will be taking. We believe that there's a chance that the kidnappers are the ones who pulled down all of the stone around the entrance in an effort to block it. Mikasa, I think it will be fastest if we both do this?"

Mikasa gave him a curt nod before she stepped forward to help Erwin clear away the debris blocking the entrance to the tunnel. Together they were able to clear it of the large chunks of stone and concrete in fifteen minutes. When they finished Erwin gave Mikasa a brief smile which she returned before Mike stepped forward holding two radios.

"We've already set these to the same frequency. We'll turn it on and test it out to make sure we're all set." He flipped both of the radios on and handed one over to Sasha and the other to Erwin.

"This is Commander. Come in." His voice came out of the radio that Sasha was holding and was followed shortly by Hanji's voice emanating from both radios.

"Short 'n Sweet copies!" Levi's 'fuck off' was audible in the background. "Does the 104th copy? Over."

"104th?" Sasha was giving the radio a puzzled look. "Um… the 104th copies, over."

"Reading you five! Shot 'n Sweet, out!"

"104th?" Sasha turned to Erwin and Mike in confusion.

"All of you live around 104th St." Mike gave the four of them a somewhat apologetic look. "Dr. Scientist decided to give you a shorthand name so they didn't have to list off all of your names. Sorry."

"You know, I kinda like it." Krista had a thoughtful look on her face and Mikasa, Sasha and Ymir nodded silently in agreement. "We aren't the team the way that the four of you are, but we work together and we cover for each other."

Sasha picked up the radio again.

"The 104th reads Short 'n Sweet loud and clear. Over."

"Short 'n Sweet copies! Out!" A staticky click followed Hanji's words, but another voice came from the radio almost immediately.

"We are _not_ fucking Short 'n Sweet. Out."

Sasha was stuffing her fist into her mouth trying to muffle the sound of her giggling but quickly became serious again after a moment. Erwin had a mildly exasperated expression on his face when he looked back at them.

"Don't worry, they're taking this perfectly seriously it's just Dr. Scientist trying to keep the mood light. Now then, I believe we mentioned earlier that there is no signal in the tunnels proper. You won't be able to contact any of us until you surface at your location." He paused and waited for them to signal that they understood. "And you remember the plan?"

"In and out as fast as possible. Do not engage unless absolutely necessary. Focus on getting Eren and Marco out, not on getting revenge." Mikasa's tone was robotic as she repeated Erwin's instructions from earlier in the day. Erwin gave her a short nod before holding his radio up again.

"This is Commander. Operation Retrieval is a go. Over."

"The 104th copies. Out."

"Short 'n Sweet copies. Out."

As soon as radios were stowed, everyone went into motion. Ymir began to stretch with her back elongating and bowing down while her limbs stretched and razor-sharp claws began to extend from her fingertips. When her transformation was complete her face was truly unrecognizable; a mouth of fangs twisted into a snarl. Sasha nocked an arrow on her bow and held it to her side at the ready while Mikasa pulled her scarf up further. Krista straightened her tiara with her free hand as she tightened her grip on her scepter. Their faces were grim as they turned to look at Mike and Erwin.

The six of them nodded at each other before doing an about face and going in opposite directions, flashlight beams bouncing along tunnel walls.

[Time: 23:39]

Erwin and Mike were only fifty yards down the tunnel when they came to a metal ladder leading upwards. Erwin mounted it and began the short climb to the top. As he pushed aside the grating he was met by the faces of Hanji, Levi and Nanaba.

[Time: 04:36]

It was almost dawn when Levi got back from the palisades looking like hell and smelling like death. He didn't bother to try and stop the door from slamming behind him, causing the other three members of the Survey Corps and Nanaba to sit up sharply at the noise.

"Wow. You didn't even take your shoes off before coming in here?" Nanaba's eyes widened slightly.

"Cut the shit. We have three possible locations and we can't spread ourselves that thin."

"Mike and I are going to do a quick drive through the palisades. See what we can find. Hanji overlaid some satellite images on the areas we've narrowed it down to so we're going to check those out." Nanaba looked over at Erwin. "You're really going to talk to your MP contacts? If you let too much drop then we might have some unpleasant company."

"Don't worry about it. I have it under control."

"Now then, we've been able to eliminate the partially collapsed tunnel already. It leads out to a building that was demolished and cleared away recently. We've all agreed…" Hanji paused and their eyes flicked between the rest of the group. "We've all agreed that we're going to send the 104th that way."

The four of them were looking somewhat tensely at Levi as he stood in the middle of the room. He was looking down slightly and his arms were crossed around his chest. His arms pulled imperceptibly tighter around his body before he lifted up his head to look at them.

"Do you expect me to disagree?"

[Time: 23:43]

Nanaba stuck out a hand to help pull Erwin up and Mike followed just far enough the upper half of his body was above ground while his lower half remained hidden.

"Did everything go alright?" Nanaba searched Erwin's face for confirmation.

"Yes, I helped them to clear the debris. They're on their way now. The worst that they should run into is a few rats."

"When they figure it out they're going to be pissed." Levi gave all of them a pointed look.

"And they'll also be alive and unharmed." Nanaba fixed Levi with an intense glare.

"I never said I disagreed."

"Alright." Erwin spoke up slightly to get their attention. "Nanaba is going to join Mike in the tunnels. Hanji and I will continue on the streets on foot and Levi will follow on the rooftops. Mike and Nanaba, I want every inch of the basement and sub-basement searched. Hanji and I will work from the first floor to the second and Levi will work his way down from the fourth to the third. Whoever finds Eren and Marco first withdraws _immediately_ and radios Moblit for an extraction. Everyone else continues according to plan. We _need to find that lab_."


	74. 74: Blood

**Before you start off: There is blood in this chapter and not tiny amounts either. You will also find needles, violence, and some of the same psychological shit as the previous Eren POV chapter.** **If you're looking at those warnings and you're going "fuck no, I cannot read this" I've made a chapter summary post on Tumblr with just the plot relevant events: **mybrainproblems-dot-tumblr-dot-com /post/101633783739/alyna-ch-74-summary

**Do people want me to continue to do this for future chapters that are more graphic?**

**And yes, I did look up the actual effects of sodium thiopental aka sodium pentothol aka truth serum. Vouch for me when the FBI comes to arrest me because I've been Googling shit about sodium thiopental, chloroform, rohypnol and side effects of blood loss by volume. I'm not a criminal, just a humble fic writer.**

.

"You want to _what?_"

"Escape. Out the window."

"Eren, it's nailed shut."

"I have an idea. We need to pull out one of the nails –" Marco opened his mouth to object but Eren cut him off. "No, wait and just listen. We can use the nail to shatter the glass. We won't even need that much force."

"You want to pull one of the nails out?"

"Yeah."

"They're hammered into the frame pretty well."

"The wood is pretty old-looking. It's probably going to start splintering away pretty quickly."

"_Eren._ Listen to yourself. You want to try pulling a nail out of splintering wood with your _fingers_. We don't even know how high up the window is. You weren't conscious when we came in but we were in an elevator for a _while_ before we got here. We could be on the fifth floor for all we know."

"Well we won't know unless we try." Eren gave Marco a furious look before taking a deep breath to try and calm himself down. He then continued, to speaking at a lower volume. "Please, Marco? _Please?_"

"The Survey Corps and our friends are probably on the way right now… they'll be here soon."

"Marco, we don't know how long we've been here beyond that it's been more than a day. I don't doubt that they're coming to get us but we've been drugged multiple times and I just got knocked around by some fucker in a mask. I would really like it if just for once I was able to save myself,_ especially_ since someone else got dragged into this because of me."

"It's not your fault." Marco's attempt at reassuring him didn't help.

"I know it's not my fucking fault but it still happened and you're here because you were with me."

"Okay, but what if we _are_ on the fifth floor?"

"We'll figure something out. You can't win unless you fight for it. If we don't even try we've already lost."

"Alright. Just... let's try not to get splinters in our fingers?"

Eren nodded and got closer to the window to inspect the sill further. He ran his hands across the frame carefully to avoid the splinters that they were almost certainly going to get trying to pull a nail out. The wood was old and splintering around each nail. Eren moved closer to inspect each to see if there was one that might be easier to remove than the others.

They worked on the nail in shifts, trying their best to avoid getting splinters. They inevitably got a few but most were easily removed. There was no avoiding eating or drinking and so when the light outside of the painted-over window began to dim and food was shoved unceremoniously through the door they accepted that they wouldn't be conscious again until morning.

This time Eren was completely unsurprised when he felt something tighten around his wrists while a hood was pulled over his head as soon as he was pulled outside of the room. He could only assume that he was being lead back to the same room as before. He felt trepidation as he continued to move forward; he had no desire to deal with his captors' particular definition of "questioning." This time the hood wasn't pulled off of his head after he was tied to the chair and as the minutes pressed onward he could feel his own fear beginning to spike. _It's okay, it's okay. Maybe I'll get roughed up again, but they want information from me, they don't want me dead. That's a good thing, right? And Marco, maybe Marco will have the nail free when I'm back and we can get the fuck out of here. We're going to get out of here. I just need to get out of here. Whatever these freaks want._

Eren was just starting to conclude that they weren't planning on removing the hood when he heard someone moving next to him. He closed his eyes in preparation for the painful change in light, but he felt a sharp pain in his arm instead.

_Fuck. That was a needle. Definitely not a good thing._

A moment later he found himself gagging as the overwhelming taste of garlic filled his mouth. From somewhere in front of him he heard what might have been a muffled snort of laughter. He gagged again as the taste increased in its intensity and thenfinally began to dissipate. As the intense taste fully receded from his mouth Eren began to relax; there was no longer an inexplicable and noxious taste in his mouth. He shifted around a bit and realized that the hood wasn't really as scratchy as he had thought and as he pulled at the restraints on his limbs he found that they weren't as painfully tight as he had thought earlier. There wasn't really any pain even when he yanked sharply with his arm. He heard that same muffled laugh again but couldn't find it in himself to care. When the hood was yanked roughly off of his head it all came together.

_Shit. I've been drugged._

Eren braced himself for the sudden adrenaline spike of that realization but found himself fading back into a mental fog. He was there and yet he wasn't, everything that happened seemed like it was happening to someone else – like he was watching from somewhere a few feet away. He felt no physical reaction as a slightly blurry figure stepped forward into his space, only a vague sense that nothing good would come of their proximity. He _did_ feel his heart stutter when the person in front of him grabbed his shirt collar and dragged him upwards to look at them. Terrifyingly large eyes and a toothy grin were looking down at him and he barely had the energy to attempt to twist away and slump to the side. Eren was able to identify the source of laughter this time; judging from the mask it was the same person who had "questioned" him previously. He expected the rage to come but it never did, he simply floated along. Eren only became aware that he was staring down at the floor with unfocused eyes when he was backhanded by the person in front of him.

"Now then. We would like it if you would pretty please answer some questions for us." The voice was vaguely feminine and filled with false apology. "I know it seems silly, but can you tell us your name?"

"Eren Jaeger. I was born in Shiganshina but I live in Trost now."

"And what are you doing here? A little far from Shiganshina, aren't we?" He tried to be angry at the fake tone they were using, but he just couldn't engage the emotion.

"I'm studying marine biology at Trost University. I live here with my sist –" Somewhere Eren found it in himself to bite the inside of his cheek before continuing further. _Why am I telling them all of this? I want to cooperate for Marco's sake but this… all of this extra stuff… they didn't even ask._

"Your sister is Red Scarf, yes? Don't be shy, we've been looking into you. Don't you want to tell us about your friends? You know a lot of heroes, don't you? What about your _new_ hero friends? Care to tell us about the Survey Corps? You've gotten _very_ cozy with them."

Eren was starting to be able to feel pain again from clenching his teeth so hard. _I'm not going to… not gonna say anything. Not saying anything._ He felt like his whole body was trying (but unable) to tense up to keep anything from slipping out. He was certain that at any moment the torrent of words would start spilling out; his friends' names, the Survey Corps' names; anything they wanted. It was almost a blessing when he was backhanded again. He felt the almost-there edge of pain, but it was the fuzzy disorientation of what he had been drugged with combined with the sudden snap of his face to the side that caused him to lose anything that he had been focusing on. He could only stare dazedly to the side until his questioner grabbed his chin to turn him back to face them. _I hope I'm not fucking drooling._

"You gave him too much." They let go of his chin and his head immediately dropped down so that he was staring at his lap.

"I told you without his exact weight I could only guess at a dosage. Leave him for a bit and let it start to wear off, it's not like he's going anywhere." Their unkind laughter rang in his ears and when he brought himself to look up he saw the backs of three people and the door shutting behind them. In spite of what he had been drugged with he felt his mind suddenly focus in on that narrowing strip of light, felt the adrenaline spike and the fear of being left tied up alone in a room. He knew even as it left his mouth that whatever he was yelling was unintelligible and slurred but he couldn't stop.

"Shut the fuck up." Even though the voice came from one of his masked captors he felt his fear recede slightly.

The other person kept their back to him, fiddling with something that Eren couldn't see. Even if they didn't want to interact with him at all Eren was relieved that somebody else was in the room with him; that he wasn't being left completely alone. He noticed that whatever it he had been given was starting to wear off when he moved his wrist and discovered that he had rubbed one area raw earlier while he couldn't feel it as anything more than discomfort. The other person in the room noticed his increased motion and he heard a muffled conversation over a radio clearly indicating that they should return. As he watched the others start to file back in through the door he wondered just how long he had been there. _Is Marco okay? There's no way that he knows anything about what's going on with me… I hope he isn't too worried. He really doesn't need to be worried because… because clearly they need me and they don't need hi– No. We're not going there. He's going to be fucking fine and we're getting the hell out of here._

"Look who's nice and awake now."

"What the hell do you want from me?" He could immediately tell by the stutter in their movements that he had said something wrong.

"Maybe a little too awake." _No. Fuck no._ He felt the jab in his arm before he had enough time to consider what he wanted to vocalize. It didn't take long for things to start going fuzzy again, but unlike the previous time he simply felt relaxed. He didn't even bother to fight it this time; it was chemical and there was no getting around his body's reaction.

"Now that we're calm and not drooling on ourselves, how about we have a chat?" The fake sweet voice was back and they crouched so that they were at eye-level with him, even if he couldn't see their eyes. Eren felt their fingers come to trap his chin so that he was forced to continue to look into their horrifyingly large eyes. He tried to jerk his head back but their grasp on his chin went from tight to painful as soon as he tried. "What have you told the Survey Corps about us?"

"So I guess you're part of the Titans then..." Eren paused for a moment and tried halfheartedly to pull back, but they kept their grip on his chin. "They rescued me from a bunch of your friends who kidnapped me except they didn't know that I was there just that there was some big shot guy who was supposed to be showing up but they said that it was probably bullshit but they rescued me which was cool. Oh and… and Smiles died."

"Yeah. Shorty killed her, we know."

"It was an accident!"

"Like I give a shit. She died, I moved up. What else did you tell them?"

"That's… all I know. About anything."

"Bullshit."

"I don't fucking know anything okay?" His own fear and adrenaline and the effects of the drug were creating an odd mix of emotional responses. He felt panic in spite of his relaxed state. Fear being buried in a box of cotton.

"You've told them more."

"There's literally nothing else for me to tell them." Eren jerked his head to the side and this time they let him, releasing their grip on his chin and allowing him to move his head freely.

"But you know more."

"I already told you I don't know anything else."

"Your father…"

"I haven't seen him since I was _twelve_. Why does everyone act like I must have seen him yesterday?"

"And the Survey Corps too?"

"Yeah, they won't shut up about asking about Grisha. You won't, they won't. I don't give a shit. He walked out on us but I guess there was the time when I was four and he bought that tricycle." _Great, more word vomit._

"Fine. I'll be a little more specific. Where's the key, Eren?"

"The key?" Eren blinked slowly in confusion. "Like to my apartment?"

"The key. Your father's key. Where is it? You have it."

"I don't have any idea what you're talking about!"

"He gave it to you, now where the hell is it? I don't _want_ to do anything to your friend. It's not like he's-"

"Leave Marco alone!" Eren could feel the panic spiking past whatever he had been given as his eyes darted around the room.

"Look, it's not like he's here for any reason besides the fact that he was with you, so how about you think of your friend and just tell us what we want to know."

"I don't know anything! I swear!" He tried to lean back as his questioner reached out their hand again to touch his face. He could feel their unseen eyes staring at him and felt like he was going to be sick from the now-gentle touch on his face. When his breathing became erratic and nausea began to claw at his stomach he finally tried to pull away from their hand again. This time they let him move, but it was a brief victory. As he sat there and tried to regain control of his body he felt himself trembling; his moment of reprieve only lasted a brief moment as a fist collided with his face.

"You refuse to tell us anything?"

"I don't _know_ anything. I don't know what you want from me." Eren's voice was soft as the drug in his system tried to drag him back into calm.

"Oh no, you know something." Their voice was light but it hardened as they spoke again. "What did you tell the Survey Corps?"

"I already told you!"

"You're lying."

"I'm not lying!"

"You told them about Cronus."

"I remembered a name! That's all, I swear!"

"Would you swear it on your friend's life?" They leaned back slightly as Eren gaped at them.

"Please don't… that's all… that's it."

"And the key?"

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Looks like you're far less useful than we thought you'd be." His questioner turned away and gestured to the others in the room. "You know what to do."

"Wait! What about Marco?!"

Eren didn't receive an answer as they left the room. The three remaining masked figures began to move closer to him and he tried to fight against the chemicals telling his body to relax, determined to try and fight back once they released his restraints if he got the opportunity. Instead of unbinding him, three sets of hands grabbed at his shoulders and upper arms, pinning him even more closely to the chair. Eren attempted to struggle against their grips for a moment before realizing he was hopelessly outmatched in his present condition. He fought down an unknown fear welling up in his gut as a fourth figure came in through the door carrying a tray. It wasn't until they were placing the tray on a nearby table that Eren was able to recognize the contents; a butterfly needle, some tubing, and empty blood bags.

_Shit. Fuck no. I am not getting bled out like a pig by a bunch of sick mask-wearing freaks. Holy fucking shit no._ He began to struggle against his captors again, the rush of adrenaline pushing back the fuzziness of whatever he had been drugged with. Even as he tried to move he kept his eyes on the other figure and watched them put down the butterfly needle, only to pick up something else he couldn't see. As they walked closer to him he struggled even harder and felt the bruises forming on his body underneath his captors' grips. There was an intensely painful jabas a needle was carelessly shoved into his arm;his struggling slowly decreased until he could barely move his own body as the familiar soporific feeling took over. He was only vaguely aware at the pinch at the crook of his arm as the butterfly needle was inserted but in his present state he swore that he could feel each milliliter of blood draining out of his body and listened in horror to the pulse in his ears. His breathing became shallow and erratic as the panic rose higher and higher with each additional moment his blood continued to flow out.

Eren attempted a half-hearted struggle after the needle was removed and his restraints were being undone but he could barely stand up straight, let alone fight back. The hood was pulled over his head again and he felt himself getting tossed over one of his captor's shoulders. They hadn't bothered to tie his hands and he attempted to punch the back of the one carrying him; he only realized just how weak his blows must be when the person carrying him laughed derisively and hiked him up further onto their shoulder.

The journey back to the room where he and Marco were being kept took hours and seconds in his mind and he wasn't aware that they had returned until he was being dropped to the floor and having the hood pulled from his face. He blinked slowly to clear his eyes and stared up at Marco's worried and horrified face.

"I'm sorry, Eren. I'm so sorry."

"What do you have to be sorry for?"

"I couldn't work on the nail." Marco kept his voice low. "They had someone in here with me the whole time you were gone."

"Shit. Are you fucking… they seriously…?" Eren scrubbed at his eyes with his hands as he groaned. "It's okay, we can work on it now. We _need_ to escape as quickly as possible though. They said I'm not useful anymore and… I don't think they're going to just drop us off at home."

He watched Marco's face go ashen before he started shaking. Neither of them moved as the full weight of their changed situation began to weigh down on them. When they heard someone unlocking the door they both of them went wide-eyed and could only stare at each other in that split moment before the door opened. Eren watched as Marco was grabbed and he could barely stand up to try and yell, never mind fighting back. As the door slammed closed again Eren was left alone and numb. He collapsed back to the ground and was unaware of how much time hand passed when his fury finally bubbled up past the drug-induced haze and he lashed out to punch the wall. The unbearable pain never came as he stared at his bloodied knuckles.

_That's right; I can't really feel pain right now._ Eren looked up slowly at the window and then down at his hands. _I can't feel pain._

Eren stood up and used a hand to steady himself on the wall as he walked forward towards the window. He didn't even give it a second thought as he began to yank at the nail, splinters and the jagged metal of the other nails ripping at his hands.

_I'm getting out of here and I'm getting Marco._


	75. 75: Acquired

**Yay! They're getting Eren back... unlike in the manga. Hopefully next (manga) chapter we get some Badass Eren Ain't Takin' Your Shit Anymore with a solid helping of Ackerman Ass Whoopin'**

**So I save my ALYNA docs both on my OneDrive so that if my computer kicks it (I swear it's going to be any day now) I don't lose everything. This means that I've been breaking it up into chunks so that it can upload faster when I save changes and this chapter marks me needing to start a third ALYNA doc since I do them in 25 chapter chunks. How freaking crazy is that?**

**Anyway, enjoy the chapter.**

**.**

Thus far they had only run into a couple of rats. The first one had spooked the four of them given the tense atmosphere**;** but after that they barely reacted. They had decided that Ymir should be the one to lead given her appearance and – if necessary – her razor-sharp claws. Mikasa had taken up the rear and Sasha and Krista walked abreast between the other two. They kept silent as they moved; rats weren't the only things in the tunnels.

"I think we're getting close." Krista's voice was barely above a whisper. "Dr. Scientist said that it shouldn't take much longer than twenty minutes and we're coming up on that now."

"Well, everyone keep their eyes peeled for some sort of entrance." Mikasa's voice was authoritative and more forceful than Krista's had been and there was a faint echo of it within the tunnel. The four of them walked a bit faster, eager to leave the tunnels and to rescue their friends. It took only another few minutes before they were standing outside of a large metal door.

"It looks pretty rusty**.** We should be care –" Sasha's words were cut off by Mikasa grabbing the door and wrenching it open, the hinges groaning loudly.

"Good going there. I don't think anybody heard that." Ymir's voice was sarcastic and Mikasa leveled a glare at her.

Sasha aimed the flashlight upwards, illuminating a dusty and rubble-covered concrete stairway. As they steadily made their way up the stairs they had to clear planks of wood and step around piles of broken bricks and chunks of concrete. They stopped at the landing at the top where there was another heavy metal door. This one looked like it would fall off with just a light push given that the hinges were barely holding. This time, Krista moved to open it but Ymir caught her wrist and stopped her.

"What's wrong?"

"It smells like explosives."

"Great. Not that I don't want to find Eren and Marco**,** but if those lunatics have a ton of explosives then I really wish the Survey Corps found them." Sasha set her jaw and took a deep breath before turning towards Ymir. "Can you tell how big of a collection they have?"

"It smells more like…" Ymir paused for a moment. "It smells like a lot of explosives have _already _been used."

"We aren't going to just sit here and guess about things. Now come on." Mikasa barely pushed on the door before it was falling outwards.

The four of them stared in shock at the open pit that they had just walked into, clearly the footprint of a demolished building. Most of the building's remains had been cleared away, but there were still substantial piles of rubble. The four of them moved further out into the pit, staring around at the empty space.

"This didn't happen in the last twenty-four hours."

"No shit." Mikasa snapped at Krista and turned to walk away**.**

"That is no fucking way to talk to Krista." Ymir stepped in Mikasa's path and blocked her, glaring at her furiously.

"Hey guys, look we're all pretty pissed off okay?"

"Shut the hell up**,** Sasha."

"We get it. Your brother is missing _and so is Marco._ They are _both_ our friends**,** so how about the two of you calm the fuck down and we can figure out what to do next." Sasha's eyes flicked between Ymir and Mikasa, hoping that they would back down before she and Krista would need to get involved.

Ymir put her hands up in a gesture of truce before backing off a few steps. Mikasa continued to scowl and turned suddenly to the side, slamming her fist into a piece of concrete. They all watched as the human-sized chunk of concrete fractured into pieces.

Levi was grateful that the majority of the fourth floor was being used as a storage space, the stacked crates offering ample cover as he moved around, allowing him to avoid anyone he came across. As much of a bonus as the extra cover was, it was also a severe detriment to being able to search the floor thoroughly or find a set of stairs to the third floor. He ended up winding through some areas of the maze of crates more than once before finally finding an exit.

When he finally found the stairs (and an elevator) there was someone already standing there leaning up against a stack of crates and facing away from Levi. _I could take them down pretty easily, but then I'd have to hide them somewhere and who the fuck knows how long I'm going to be in this place._ They shifted around and Levi was forced to duck slightly further down behind the crates. He listened to their movements and stayed still for a few minutes, hoping that they would move away. When they still hadn't moved a few minutes later, he decided to give it up as a lost cause and try to find another way down to the third floor. As he turned to leave he realized that he recognized the crates. _These look a hell of a lot like the crates they've been moving around down at the docks. Guess I should probably take a closer look this time around._

Levi moved back through the maze of crates, giving them a cursory glance for any distinguishing markings or one that might be easier to open. He focused intently on the noises around him; the thrum of a ventilation system, the skittering and squeaking of rats and mice below the floorboards and the occasional cough or sneeze identifying the rough location of a Titan. When he was in a more secluded location, he started to look at the crates more thoroughly. It didn't take much longer for him to find a couple of boxes that had their contents marked on a label and a feeling of dread slowly took hold of him as he stared at the words. He touched at his wrist briefly to activate their separate radio channel and spoke only as loudly as he dared.

"Hawk here. Found multiple crates of explosives. Quantity and class unknown. Over."

"Squad one copies." There was no second confirmation from Mike or Nanaba and Levi glanced at his watch. _They won't be out of the tunnels for another five or ten minutes. I'll repeat it then if Erwin or Hanji doesn't call it first._

Levi continued to make his way around, looking for another set of stairs, now more anxious than ever to get everything over with and get out. Thankfully it didn't take too much longer to find an exit that lead him down to the next floor. While he was glad to no longer be in a room that had an unknown quantity of explosives in it, he realized as he cracked the door open that there was almost no cover in the hallways**,** save some metal shelves shoved haphazardly against the walls. Levi opened the door a little wider to further inspect the area. The floors were made of old wide-cut planks that didn't lay completely flat._ Fantastic. That's going to be fun to try and walk on quietly._ The walls were a dingy grey-yellow that might have been dirty white or another color just faded out. Chunks of plaster from the wall had fallen and crumbled on the ground, revealing the wooden laths beneath and leaving patches of dusty white powder on the floor. _So I guess there's pretty much no way to move undetected is there? This fucking blows._

He fully exited the stairwell, grateful that the hallways were empty at the moment and moved forward cautiously, listening for signs of other people. Behind one door Levi could hear the slight movements of someone walking around slowly and pausing periodically. _Probably someone on a patrol or some shit. I could avoid them, but it might actually be worth it to bump into someone._ Levi opened the door cautiously, checking to see where they were facing. Realizing that they were facing away from him, Levi moved quickly; the radio was out of the other person's hand before they even had a chance to even raise it to call for help. They turned to face him, their body slack with shock and their face obscured by the warped features of a Titan mask. Levi took advantage of their unsteady posture and managed to quickly bring them to their knees and get them into a headlock.

"You have two kids. Where the fuck are they?" Levi slackened his grip slightly as they tapped frantically at his arm.

"Down the hall. Only two doors. It's on the right. Probably three of our guys." Their voice was raspy from Levi's grip, but also painfully young. "Please don't kill me."

Levi didn't answer and tightened his grip again until they went unconscious. He rose from the floor and was about to walk away but found himself caught there for a moment. Bending back down, Levi took the mask off of the unconscious body. _Jesusfuck. He's even younger than the fucking kids that he helped to kidnap._ He placed the mask back down next to the body and quickly made his exit.

The hallway was still mercifully empty and Levi followed the simple instructions that he had been given. There were indeed only two doors and he took a moment to listen at the left one first. Hearing that there was nobody he chanced a quick look in; there was only dim illumination coming from the streetlights outside the boarded up windows. As his eyes scanned across the room they caught on a chair with restraints on it and he suppressed a shiver. _I am getting those two fuckers and we are getting the fuck out of here as soon as fucking possible._ Stepping backwards and letting the door close quietly behind him, Levi crouched to listen at the door across the hall.

_"…__didn't know anything."_ Okay, that's one person.

_"__All of this was kind of a waste then, wasn't it?"_ Two.

_"__Not entirely."_

_"__Well he was pretty fun to knock around."_

_"__I guess if you're into that."_ And that's three.

Levi leaned back from the door, debating how he wanted to handle entering the room. After a weighing his options for a moment he stood up and firmly knocked on the door.

"Jesus Christ, Jackson. You seriously forget your key again?" Levi grinned to himself as he listened to the footsteps of one person coming closer to the door. When he heard them stop he waited for the handle to begin to shift before throwing all of his weight forward into the door. The thud of it hitting the other person's face and the quiet crunching noise of their nose being broken gave Levi a small amount of satisfaction. He paid them no mind as they dropped to the floor. _Okay then, only two left now._ With the both of them frozen in shock at his sudden and violent entrance, Levi was able to take one of them down almost immediately with a stun gun before the final person was able to move. That person also unfortunately seemed to be the only one who actually knew how to fight. Not in the mood to draw it out for any longer than necessary, Levi blocked a few punches before he was able to catch their wrist. Wrist in hand, he gave it a harsh snap and quickly shoved his other hand over the mouth of their mask and used his thumb under their jaw to keep their mouth closed and stop them from yelling. He held the position for a moment, their arm pulled forward as he pushed back on their face before sweeping their legs from under them and sending them crashing backwards to the floor. The dull thud of their head hitting the wooden floor hung in the room.

Levi didn't bother to check for a pulse on any of them before making a quick search of the room. There were two other doors besides the entrance and Levi was putting his money on the heavy door with the padlock on the outside being the one he was looking for. It only took a quick search of the three groaning and hopefully-breathing bodies to find a ring of keys. Anxious as he was to grab the two kids and get the hell out, he unlocked and opened the door cautiously, uncertain as to what might be on the other side.

It was only on instinct that he managed to dodge the person that hurled themselves forward at him. As the partially-crouched form turned to pounce on him again, Levi noticed their uneasy footing and quickly had them laid out on their ass and staring up at him.

_"__Eren?"_

"…Levi?" The look on Eren's face was disoriented as he stared and blinked slowly.

"What the hell did you charge at me for?" Levi paused a moment and took a moment to study Eren. "Okay never mind, more relevant questions. One, did you really just try to shank me with a rusty nail? Two, what the fuck happened to your hands? Three, where the hell is Marco?"

"Those are all related… I think." Eren squinted upwards but made no move to get up. "I thought you were one of those fuckers. I pulled a nail out of the window sill because Marco and I were going to shatter the glass on the window and escape. And Marco… they took him somewhere else. Definitely yesterday since it happened when it was still light out. What time is it anyway?"

"After midnight. Give me a moment." Levi touched at his wrist and turned slightly before beginning to speak again. "Hawk here. Primary acquired, secondary is still MIA. Squad two: explosives of unknown quantity and type were found on the fourth floor. Over."

"Squad one copies!"

"Squad two copies. We only just surfaced so we'll be moving fast to catch up. Over."

"How do we want to handle extraction? I only have our primary." Levi's brow furrowed at the silence that followed and his head jerked up as the sound of something heavy hitting the floor came from above them. "Please advise."

"Stick to the –" Hanji cut themselves off suddenly and there was a pause. "New instructions: Get clear, then radio for extraction."

"Wilco. Hawk out." Levi turned back to fully face Eren.

"What about Mikasa and my friends? They aren't involved at all?"

"Technically, yes. Actually, no."

"And what the hell does that mean?"

"We figured out where you were being held and we sent them somewhere else."

"They're going to be _pissed._"

"And they're all going to be _safe._ Or did you miss the part where I said there are a shit ton of explosives upstairs?"

"You said you didn't know how much." Eren tried to stand up and immediately stumbled and leaned against the wall for support. He tried to move again and this time Levi grabbed his arm as he fell forward, stopping him from falling face first onto the floor.

"Fine. Upstairs is jampacked with crates and I'm pretty sure more than half of them are full of explosives."

"And your teammates don't need to know that?" Levi helped to steady Eren as he stood up fully again, staying close in case he fell another time.

"The moment explosives are mentioned you're on high alert. Quantity doesn't matter. You just assume shit can go south quickly." Eren stopped and put his hand on the wall to stabilize himself and brought the other to his mouth, his face growing paler. "Are you okay?"

"Not… not really. Nauseous and dizzy. They drugged me with something and questioned me. It's really fuzzy."

"Looks like you got knocked around a bit too."

"Yeah. How bad does it look?"

"Your hands look worse. What the fuck did you do to them again?"

"Pulled a nail out of a window sill."

"Fucking gross." Eren's mouth was open and he was halfway to making an angry comment when Levi grabbed Eren's left arm and pulled it over his own shoulder. "Can you at least stand up and not fall on your ass like this?"

"Yeah." Eren stopped leaning against the wall and stabilized his weight against Levi. "Um, yeah**,** this works."

"Good, because I want to get the fuck out of here as fast as possible." Levi hefted Eren's left arm up further and hooked his right arm behind Eren's back to further stabilize him. The two of them moved slowly past the three still-not-quite-conscious bodies as they exited into the other room.

Levi could feel the hairs on the back of his neck rising as they walked into the still-empty hallway.

"There isn't anyone here?" Eren's turned his head slightly to face Levi, confusion evident on his face.

"Something's not right."

They paused; the air in the hallway was still and uneasy and eerily calm and was completely shattered when a shockwave rippled through the building. As he was thrown off-balance Eren put all of his weight onto Levi, unbalancing him as well and pulling the both of them to the ground. The dim lighting from the streetlights outside made the dust particles in the air spark and reflect, giving the hallway the illusion of being filled with lightly falling snow. The both of them stayed down for a moment longer, waiting.

"What the fuck was that?"

"An explosion. Somewhere lower." Brief concern flitted over Levi's face before resolving back to his usual neutral expression. "We need to leave and contact for an extraction."

"What about everyone else? Are you serious?"

"_Yes._ Now get up and –" Levi's ankle buckled as he stood and he ended up mimicking Eren's earlier action of stumbling into a wall. _"Fuck."_


End file.
